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The next person who tells me we all need to move on...

396 replies

Youknowaboutthepaint · 20/06/2023 07:31

Is likely to get both barrels.

So many people still seem convinced that "the other lot" would be even worse, even though they can't begin to tell me why.

That Christmas, while our esteemed leaders were partying was DH's last. He spent it at home, in pain, without access to the medical care he needed and without seeing anyone except those he lived with.

A few days later he went into to hospital where he stayed for 3 months, without a single visitor. During that time he was told, alone, by telephone because his consultant was shielding, that his cancer was terminal, stil he wasn't allowed any visitors. He never met his oncologist and I had to fight every day to find anyone who would talk to me about his prognosis/ treatment/pain control/return home.

He came home eventually once they'd managed to get his pain under some sort of control, to die, a shadow of the man his DC had last seen, still officially not allowed any visitors. (Although by that point anyone who wanted to visited, I classified as a carer).

Then we had to restrict numbers at his funeral.

All the while those making the decisions that had affected us so badly were having the time of their life. Most are still in power/working in governement, making the laws that affect us all, dishing out or receiving honours, spending our money. And they've lied about it continuously since.

I'm still trying to support severely traumatised children whose lives were badly affected by lockdowns, even if they hadn't had to deal with all the stuff with their dad.

I'm generally a fairly easy going, resilient sort, but I dare anyone to tell me it's time we got over it.

OP posts:
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duododuo · 20/06/2023 08:17

I'm so sorry for your loss and to everyone who has suffered. My best friend suffered domestic violence during the lockdowns, thankfully she is now free from her abuser but she can't move on and she cannot forgive. Another friend lost both her parents to covid but wasn't allowed to fly to visit them in hospital fighting in intensive care, both parents died alone. She couldn't fly for the funeral either as this was during the first lockdown. She is now the shell of herself and cannot just move on. Both me and dh suffered in different ways, more as financially and still haven't fully recovered. We adhered to every rule and it still gives me anxiety thinking of lockdown. I'm so sorry to have read this post and you have every right to not forgive. You have every right to be angry at this government and to me personally, the media as well should be held accountable.

Loopyloooooo · 20/06/2023 08:18

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There's always one uneducated dickhead eh.

Simplepink · 20/06/2023 08:18

I am so sorry I can’t imagine the pain you have all experienced. I hope many people read your post and reflect on this when they vote xx

Calzonepizza · 20/06/2023 08:18

I’m so sorry I am absolutely furious with this government and I believe a general election should be held . We have had enough of their utter disregard for whom they govern

Loopyloooooo · 20/06/2023 08:18

I'm so sorry for your loss OP, don't let anyone feel like your feelings don't matter. You have every right to be furious. Sending love to you and your lovely children.

skippy67 · 20/06/2023 08:20

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Seriously? Have some empathy ffs.

froomeonthebroom · 20/06/2023 08:20

@Behindthelines ODFOD

Quiverer · 20/06/2023 08:20

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What an unbelievably crass thing to say.

Hoaryragwort · 20/06/2023 08:22

I am so sorry for your loss and you are totally justified in feeling the way you do. You and your dc should not have had to go through what you did.

I was horrified by the latest videos of various government servants partying at no.10 actually aware of how it might appear to others and carrying on anyway.

Bringonthesunforthewashing · 20/06/2023 08:23

I am so sorry for your loss xxx.

It is absolutely disgusting that these people still have their jobs. It boggles my mind how they haven’t been sacked.

I wish there was something we could all do to make it happen

swanling · 20/06/2023 08:23

"Just move on" is a toxic and ignorant response to trauma and loss. That's not how it works.

I'm sorry op. What happened to your family was and is unethical. There is no excuse and it's sickening that people would rather blame your family for being traumatised than hold the people who are truly responsible to account.

Youknowaboutthepaint · 20/06/2023 08:25

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Yes, DS was doing an apprenticeship and WFH with no support from ant senior staff, college all on line. That's rubbish for anyone but he was dealing with his dad dying too with nonl pastoral care and no access to friends family or colleagues who may have offered support.

As a teen he had to help change his father's nappy because it's not something any adult can do alone and it was practically impossible to get any help because with everyone wfh "they" felt we didn't need it. Every attempt to move DH had him screaming in pain. Yes, significant trauma.

But no, I'm not going to forgive and forget politicians who inflicted this on us, decided the rules didn't apply to them and then repeatedly lied.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 20/06/2023 08:25

Oh @Youknowaboutthepaint i am so so sorry for what you all went through.

reading it made me angry and it made me cry. Fuck moving on? No fucking way! These people need to be held accountable for what they did and continue to do.

Johnson’s complete lack of any kind of remorse makes me feel murderous. I wish he could read your story though I don’t suppose he’d care.

wishing you and your family all very very best wishes OP

MorrisZapp · 20/06/2023 08:26

I'm so sorry for your trauma and your loss.

May I ask you, and other posters on this thread, do you feel that the rules during covid were too harsh? I know that at the time, the gvt were heavily criticised for locking down far too late and too half heartedly ie 'stop calling it lockdown, this isn't lockdown' etc.

Quiverer · 20/06/2023 08:28

They've been telling us to move on ever since the first information about their parties leaked out. And now we know why they were so desperate for us to move on - they knew that if we didn't move on and carried on digging, we'd find out the depths of their cynicism and corruption.

I'm sure there will be more to come in relation to what went on at Chequers, and generally in relation to Johnson's lax response to the pandemic. I'm all for finding out, to make sure the career of the lazy, greedy, criminal oaf who presided over it all is dead and buried for ever.

Mumsgirls · 20/06/2023 08:28

We had similar with my Dad, alone when he most needed us.Allowed to visit only when he had lost consciousness at the end, so no goodbyes.My contempt for those who made and broke the rules is boundless. And the excuse makers telling us to move on are as bad. Gaslighting us that the public don’t care. You have my utmost sympathy

SpilltheTea · 20/06/2023 08:28

You have every right to feel that way. It's absolutely disgusting and I don't think we should sweep these experiences under the rug and 'move on', especially when the bastard tories are still around and taking no responsibility.

BlackeyedSusan · 20/06/2023 08:29

We all need to move on= I/we/my party did something really shit and we don't want to take responsibility nor apologise. We need ant you to forget about it.

BlinkeredBay · 20/06/2023 08:30

Mumsgirls · 20/06/2023 08:28

We had similar with my Dad, alone when he most needed us.Allowed to visit only when he had lost consciousness at the end, so no goodbyes.My contempt for those who made and broke the rules is boundless. And the excuse makers telling us to move on are as bad. Gaslighting us that the public don’t care. You have my utmost sympathy

I’m sorry for you loss also 🌹

EmmaGrundyForPM · 20/06/2023 08:31

@Youknowaboutthepaint I am so sorry. Those of us who followed the rules did so because the science supposedly said we should and we wanted to protect the vulnerable.

You have every right to be furious.

I am fortunate in that no one close to me was impacted in that way by Covid and lockdowns. But I am very angry that the behaviour of parliamentary officials was appalling, in total contradiction to the rules, and that those in power turned a blind eye.

I'm also furious that 300+ Tory MPs didn't turn up to vote, or abstained, on the Partygate report. Liars and cowards.

rainbowstardrops · 20/06/2023 08:31

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What a cold hearted comment. Absolutely heartless.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 20/06/2023 08:31

YANBU. Sorry hardly seems enough. I cannot imagine.

The horrors people suffered and these arseholes continue to hold power. We need a revolution of some sort but people will just take it. I don't know what the answer is but when we revolt I'm ready

ohtowinthelottery · 20/06/2023 08:31

YANBU. I'm really sorry for what your family had to go through. That's hard enough to "move on" from without having the videos of the rule breaking, partying tories thrust in your face every time you look at the news or social media.
One of my relatives died during lockdown. There were 5 people allowed at her funeral - her husband, 3 of her children + 1 IL. One of her children couldn't attend as they live abroad and couldn't travel to this country. I feel sure that seeing these videos and hearing about the 'honours' awarded to some of those 'starring ' in them will profoundly affect anyone who had no choice but to stick to the rules imposed upon them by those who clearly couldn't give a shiny sh*te about the rest of us.

rainbowstardrops · 20/06/2023 08:31

cuckyplunt · 20/06/2023 07:44

Every single person on those party videos should be sacked for a start!

I agree

Cucucucu · 20/06/2023 08:34

I’m truly sorry for what you went though .
And I do not think you should get over it , If anything I’m upset people are not on the street demanding this government collapse ! It’s a joke the U.K. is a joke compared to other places .