The next person who tells me we all need to move on...

[Youknowaboutthepaint]

Is likely to get both barrels.

So many people still seem convinced that "the other lot" would be even worse, even though they can't begin to tell me why.

That Christmas, while our esteemed leaders were partying was DH's last. He spent it at home, in pain, without access to the medical care he needed and without seeing anyone except those he lived with.

A few days later he went into to hospital where he stayed for 3 months, without a single visitor. During that time he was told, alone, by telephone because his consultant was shielding, that his cancer was terminal, stil he wasn't allowed any visitors. He never met his oncologist and I had to fight every day to find anyone who would talk to me about his prognosis/ treatment/pain control/return home.

He came home eventually once they'd managed to get his pain under some sort of control, to die, a shadow of the man his DC had last seen, still officially not allowed any visitors. (Although by that point anyone who wanted to visited, I classified as a carer).

Then we had to restrict numbers at his funeral.

All the while those making the decisions that had affected us so badly were having the time of their life. Most are still in power/working in governement, making the laws that affect us all, dishing out or receiving honours, spending our money. And they've lied about it continuously since.

I'm still trying to support severely traumatised children whose lives were badly affected by lockdowns, even if they hadn't had to deal with all the stuff with their dad.

I'm generally a fairly easy going, resilient sort, but I dare anyone to tell me it's time we got over it.

I absolutely agree with this and I will not comply another time. I did before, followed the rules to the letter, but it feels as though the government were laughing at us behind our backs for being so gullible. What did they make the rules for if they didn’t believe they needed following? I think instead of saying people don’t care now, they need to acknowledge the hurt and anger so many people still feel.

I have a story that is nowhere near of the magnitude of some of the poor posters on here, but it still hurts. My beloved dog had to be put to sleep and we had to sit in a gravel car park with everyone watching us sobbing whilst he was sedated outside in the car park, then he was taken away from us because it had to be done inside and we weren’t allowed inside. I’ve never forgotten the people all watching us and them taking him away out of my arms. I had to phone and ask if he’d passed peacefully. And all that time the government were having parties and laughing at our expense. I will never forgive them, never. Yes, I’m not sobbing over my dog every minute, but if I think back the anger and upset at the situation is still there. At the time I accepted it as what had to be done. But I didn’t dream, in all those months I didn’t set eyes on my young adult daughters or elderly parents, that those who made the rules didn’t think those rules mattered enough to bother with themselves.

I am so sorry for everyone on this thread who went through so much pain with the loss of family members. It was a disgrace.

I'm so sorry, OP. My close friend's DH died suddenly at 45 at the start of the lockdown and we couldn't attend his funeral and give her a hug, just watch it on Zoom.
I really despise our current government. They are utterly shameless and shameful.

Wow. The astonishing lack of empathy from some posters bewilders me. How can people be so deficient in normal human feeling? I can only presume that the people in power suffered with a similar deficit in emotional intelligence and basic decency as @Behindthelines.

You have every right to be angry, OP. Many of those who partied through lockdowns are still in positions of power and influence. Many more of our politicians support those who were responsible for this. There has not yet been any accountability for what they did, apart from the paltry gesture of taking Boris's Westminster pass away from him. Hardly much of a sanction.

I listened to a Tory MP on the radio this morning, explaining that he didn't vote in the Commons yesterday because he thought that a 90 day ban was too harsh a penalty. I am really struggling to understand this position tbh. The former Prime Minister was found to have deliberately misled the house. On what planet is a 90 day ban too severe a punishment for this? Are the normal parliamentary standards really so low that people think a lesser punishment would be appropriate? To my mind, if they are found to have deliberately misled parliament, then trust has been fundamentally breached and there can be no way back from that...a lifetime expulsion from parliament would have been more appropriate because he had clearly demonstrated that he was unfit for public office. I know he has resigned now in any case, so it is all academic anyway, but a lifetime ban would at least assure us that he will never be coming back.

Shame on the whole bloody lot of them!

I don't know anyone who thinks we should move on. Everyone I know stuck to the rules and is furious with the whole sorry lot of them. Incompetent psychopaths.

Anyone excusing Boris Johnson needs to take a long hard look at their own moral compass.

I'm so sorry your family lost your dh this way.

Within the same month they were partying my eleven year old dd tried to take her life, twice.

And when she was taken to hospital I had to fight to stay with her as she begged me scared, terrified and in pain to not leave her.

Children's mental health services were almost non existent.

It was the worst period of our lives and it's something we will never truly get over. And I've had to stop reading the news as seeing these effing prats behaving like this while we went through 24/7 suicide watch for a child....boils my piss.

I send my love and best wishes op x

This post sums up so eloquently my feeling about the whole shit show and the unfeeling hypocrites who presided over it.

OP what you and your children have gone through is unimaginable and I'm so sorry for your loss.

I will remember my friend who was having her first baby in 2020. She had to go to all appointments on her own on the rare occasions she had face to face appointments and not on Zoom. When she went into labour it progressed very quickly and her partner drove her very quickly to the hospital. When they got there her contractions were very coming very quickly and she was unable to stand unaided. Her partner was told he was not allowed to come in with her, not even to carry her bag. He remonstrated and said he just wanted to help her to get to the unit but they wouldn't give in. The nurse said she couldn't help my friend or carry her bag and wouldn't get her a wheelchair either so she had to get to the maternity area in late stage labour unaided. Luckily all was good and they are now the parents of a lovely lively daughter but she says the trauma of the whole experience will stay with her.

To think that the OP, loads of other families and my friend had these horrendous experiences whilst those in power were quaffing wine in gardens, having curries and beers at 'work meetings' or snogging their mistresses in corridors (and don't get me started on driving to Barnard Castle to test your eyesight) is beyond belief.

And just one last comment. My elderly mum was so active right up until lockdown. She was still doing a little cleaning job, getting out, doing her own shopping etc. Cut to now and she is a shadow of her former self, anxious, doesn't want to go out and relies on me to do most things for her. She's always been happy to live independently but now feels she wants to move to sheltered housing or even a home. It's so difficult to see her like this.

You have every right to be furious.

The parties clearly showed the callous hypocrisy of the attendees. Laughing at those who followed their rules while they flouted them. The way they think everyone is too stupid to know that they lied repeatedly and that Johnson and Sunak knew exactly what was going on. It is said that many successful politicians are sociopaths and from the videos it is easy to believe it.

I live in the South West. I don't think I'd vote Labour but Lib Dem are a lot stronger here than in many parts of the country. I might volunteer to help their local campaign. I suggest people who feel strongly also get involved in local politics and make their displeasure felt where it will hurt these people most.

Totally agree OP.

There are not words bad enough to adequately describe what I think of that bunch of self-serving smug little shits who called themselves the 'government' during that time.

Cunts is too nice a word for them.

If they lost everyting they had it still would not be enought to make up for the shit they unfurled on the country, all the while holding their fucking Jingle and Mingle parties and telling us it was just a slice of fucking cake.

Damn them all. And damn every other Tory MP who didn't realise or try to stop the damage they were doing, all the while having parties, laughing at the rules they made and handing out lucrative tax money to their mates and families for low grade PPI that was never used.

They are not criminals. They are not pigs with their snouts in the trough. They are worse than that.

Sunak knew exactly what was going on

This will bells on. His attempt to pretend he was not right in the heart of that set of bastards, has not fooled me. And I hope it hasn't fooled anyone.

I've found the kind of people saying that we need to move on, are often intensely shallow people, some things in life and death really aren't as simple as just 'moving on' -

I'm so sorry for your loss OP, I would struggle to move on from that too and all the other experiences people have mentioned knowing that those who created the situation were actually totally ignoring their own rules because they thought 'rules were for the little people'

I share your story
My dad died of cancer at home
My small children still suffer the loss of a grandad they couldn't see
I still suffer from the treatment and trauma we saw

I am angry but more sad
I tell my children to remember that when they are old enough to vote remember these politicians are supposed to be working for us , in our interests. And it's criminal that they behave this way and should be held accountable.

Yes, absolutely it's not all about Boris. It's everyone who was involved or knew what was going on, including the cowards who abstained from the vote.

Yanbu atall

So so sorry for all you went through

The whole party should be dissolved and a massive shakeup take place across parliament.

There's no trust or respect for the government as it stands, they are selfish, greedy, liars and cheats and have no respect or consideration for the people they are supposed to serve.

Anyone who votes for conservatives going forward needs their head looking at.

Can I just say too that much as I don't agree with them politically it was good to hear Theresa May and Penny mordaunt not try and make light of it in parliament

I am so very, very sorry for your loss OP, and @AP5Diva and the horribly upsetting losses and experiences of other posters. I cried reading your stories, they are heartbreaking, and you have every right to feel angry and betrayed.

My uncle died alone -we think from long covid - and the few of us at the funeral each sat alone and uncomforted. I haven’t been able to process my grief at his death as I have for previous close family deaths, and I feel so guilty for not having done more to help him in those last months.

I believe that those who experienced trauma during/from the lockdowns will feel it for years to come, and in a way I think that will result in healthier people in the long run, than those who blinker themselves to it in some strange myopic need to ‘move on’.

Those in authority who so clearly enjoyed flouting the rules should absolutely be held to account in some way, and have clearly shown themselves not to be capable of holding responsibility, so should not be trusted to do so now or in the future.

I feel such a rage about the utter disregard and disdain some of those in government have shown the people of this country, enormous rage that they still treat it all so blithely.

They had all the available data and knew covid did not pose a high risk to the vast majority of people. That's why they partied - they were not scared of taking it home to their families.
The question shouldn't be 'why did they not follow the rules?' But instead 'did we need the rules at all?'.
Watching their behaviours during lockdown tells us all we need to know. People were terrified by the government's daily dose of fear, whipped up into a frenzy by the very government that knew covid had a very very high survival rate and that people should make their own choices.
Informed consent went out of the window - they deliberately installed a team of psychologists to increase everyone's level of threat and fear.

No government should ever lock a population of people into their homes.

This. This is what people should get annoyed about. And the utter failure of the media and Labour to question any of it, and indeed to encourage the government to go further.

Do they not grasp too that if something like this comes along again , vast amounts of the population will simply ignore rules and think 'bollocks to that'

@Crikeyalmighty
This exactly but they don't care

And just one last comment. My elderly mum was so active right up until lockdown. She was still doing a little cleaning job, getting out, doing her own shopping etc. Cut to now and she is a shadow of her former self, anxious, doesn't want to go out and relies on me to do most things for her. She's always been happy to live independently but now feels she wants to move to sheltered housing or even a home. It's so difficult to see her like this.

Yes, same. My mum went out every day before lockdown and we went on a short break together and walked 20,000 steps one day, when she was 80. Now her mobility is so bad that she struggles to walk ten minutes to the shops, as all the propaganda made her absolutely terrified to go out. There may have been some natural deterioration at her age but I can't help think that Covid measures have massively exacerbated this. A good friend of hers has gone from enjoying retirement to becoming agoraphobic, and then bedridden and having four lots of carers coming in a day. This story is repeated up and down the country. I'm not even going to touch on teen mental health as that is an entirely new thread.

I agree. I don’t think it’s time to get over such morally corrupt behaviour from our government. The stories people have of the awful situations they were out in due to the restrictions are heartbreaking but add in to the mix that fact that the government were basically sticking their fingers up at us and having a merry time is truly disgraceful.

I also find it worrying that people who are working in these positions are stupid enough to pose for photos whilst breaking the restrictions…seems very short sighted which ironically seems to mirror their policies.

To be clear when I object to being asked to move on I mean the nonsense about how they're all at it (except they weren't) how Labour would be even worse (tell me how) and we should all let their behaviour go.

We are gradually doing what's needed to continue to live life. I'm not going to let them hold us back on that, but I also can't comprehend how or why anyone is still supporting them or dares to suggest that I should too.

They've lost their Dad!!! Ffs what a horrendous comment. Of course they will be suffering, a parental loss in childhood is a MASSIVE traumatic event.

I've seen you post some dickish things on this site but this is truly one of the most unempathetic, cold hearted, disgusting things I've seen.

I’m so sorry OP.
I think the government of the time we’re utter bastards who really looked down on us all.

Also the NHS imo went overboard with their visiting policy.

There should have been a designated visitor for the very sick.
Even last April my dd had to take her newborn baby to hospital weekly without any support. One person only allowed. Negligible to what you’ve been through but she sobbed a few times because she felt she couldn’t do it on her own. No one else could take him because she used to have to lean over and bf him (whilst he was pinned down for treatment ) to help calm him.

My friend was not allowed to see her husband before he died. But was allowed to visit him afterwards. She's still struggling over 3 years later.