Advice you’d never share in real life …

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because it would be TMI, or shows a side of you that you prefer not to be seen, etc.

I’ll start 😊

Never let out a large fart while pant-less after applying haemorrhoid cream. Especially when a internal application has been required.

With pants I imagine it’s also pretty bad but more .. contained.

thank me later x

It's not true that you can do any job you want to do. I couldn't, for example, be an opera singer as I can't sing

Don't tell children they can be anything they want to.

Or, try and squeeze it out from one side, sometimes need to clench slightly first.

🤣🤣🤣

😂😂😂

They don’t do it by hand. Its done by licensed waste management companies.

It’s already full of bloodied sanitary products. Biohazard precautions are taken! What’s a little cheeky poo between the poorly wrapped pads and unwrapped tampons?

always check BEFORE that there IS sufficient toilet paper before sitting down, Lesson learned after visiting a brighton estate agents with a gf (she was looking for places for parents) - asked to use their loom if they had one - they very kindly said yes - after the deed found there was no paper so had to use a cloth I found in the room. Then exited quickly. Ever since I ALWAYS check, though some of these new fangled dispensers make it hard to - after my trauma can't help wondering if this is some warped practical joke by the designer.

100%!!

@Mosaic123 There's nobody who can't sing. 99.99% of people couldn't be opera singers but everyone can sing. It makes me really sad when people deny themselves the pleasure of singing because they're not 'good enough'

I agree with your sentiment though. I'd also say that a tiny proportion of people who aren't well connected, privately educated etc can ever make it to the big time in any generation. It's like the toffs set a quota of how many people are allowed to rise through the ranks

On the other hand, I think people aren't open enough about what worldly success costs you - I've known a few super successful millionaire types and they were all total dickwads, restless and anxious and worried about having it all taken away from them

I've done this too!

Don’t apply veet at the top of your legs then cross your legs and take an hour phone call. Must have been thirty years ago. I was very young and cancelled my smear until everything grew back 🤣

I once ate

This. Its hard to believe anyone would be such a selfish skank, let alone post it on as 'useful' advice to others.

Too hasty...that isn't the end of the story!

I once absentmindedly ate 2 packets of Polos.

Never again.

Oh I did NOT need to google that while eating.

I can't believe you don't think this is disgusting, it will depend where you work but at mine this bin would not be cleared daily. The smell would be horrendous, let alone wondering what colleague could be so feral 🤮

If you're struggling to pee straight after sex, stick your hand under warm running water.

I second this. It will not be pretty. Although turns out you can leave your trolley outside the toilet and just do a couple of aisles in between each bout if you really need to finish said food shop.

DH did this with some olive green trousers! It took fairy liquid to get the sudocreme out! Still shocked it did come out!

The IKEA meatballs had me like that!

Don’t Google why we’re chainsaws invented if you are pregnant!

Oh my. Learn something new everyday

Not quite the same as vibrators, but I once read in a play by an Ancient Greek, of ‘six inch ladies’ leather comforters’. Maybe it was the one where all the wives go on a sex strike, to stop their husbands going to war, or something.

Lysistrata? Someone will know!

Oh, the dried apricots thing! It's not just the apricottage, it's the sulphur dioxide that they use to keep the orange colour nice.

I'm a bit intolerant of sulphur.

Whole packet of dried apricots a long time ago, when I was staying at my in-laws. It wasn't the fact that I was farty, then had the shits as much as the smell! Burning rubber had nothing on it. Same happens if I eat baked onion, or fartichokes.

Loving this thread. I'm on the 'don't poo in a sanitary bin' side of the fence btw.

Never get married unless you're planning to stop work for a long period. It's never worth it if you work and are financially independent and you will get shafted in a divorce.

You can't say that because a) most people still believe in marriage and get excited about it and all its trappings and b) it makes you look like a bitter old cow.

In some countries (e.g. Greece) this is the norm, as the pipes are too narrow to take paper