Advice you’d never share in real life …

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because it would be TMI, or shows a side of you that you prefer not to be seen, etc.

I’ll start 😊

Never let out a large fart while pant-less after applying haemorrhoid cream. Especially when a internal application has been required.

With pants I imagine it’s also pretty bad but more .. contained.

thank me later x

If youre an ibs sufferer don't go out driving if you've had 2 coffees and 2 energy drinks back to back.
It wasn't pretty.

@Orangelover oh god I feel for you I did a thread about my horrific experience

I know! <backs out quietly>

Thought of another one.

If you're trying to poo and it won't come out easily but is nearly there,sick it back up and immense push.It should come straight out

Ditto, yesterday's knickers that have just appeared from the leg of the jeans you're wearing two days in a row.

@CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop my saying has always been if sudocrem doesn't fix it then go to the Dr.Its a miracle product! External use only of course

Ewwww! You would be standing/kneeling in vom and shit and trying to get it down the plug hole?

Buy a reasonable sized bathroom bin that is watertight and washable, it can be quickly emptied onto the floor and used for vom while sitting on toilet. Bin can be emptied in toilet.

It's true! There's a film called hysteria about it.

Yep, done this a few times too!

Or sit on the loo with a washing up bowl on your knees. But best to make sure there's no washing up in there first.

Always keep perfume in your bag in case your upset stomach makes a return when you are in a busy loo in a retail area, helps save your blushes when you come out of the cubicle.

I've got a broken arm atm and on dihydrydecodeine for the pain, which if you've ever taken, you will know cause terrible constipation. Dried apricots are my go to remedy.

You will never find the love of your life if you don't leave your house. To a friend that's in her 30s single a d desoeri fir a man but is always too tired to even go for a coffee ...

Noooooo!

Sit on the toilet and bring a bucket throw up in at the same time. Imagine cleaning your bath afterwards!

When about to give a menthol BJ, chew the extra strong mints really well, to a fine paste in your mouth. Use your tongue to wipe all the grit away. Leaving gritty bits can spoil 'the mood.'

Small, cheap plastic bins for bathroom (or other places) are available at Ikea. For vomiting into when you also have the shits.
On the lack of toilet paper I never thought of using the cardboard inner tube of the toilet paper but in extremis i have used my knickers and gone commando for the rest of the day.
(Esp if you're in a public bog and they have complicated TP systems with no cardboard inners available. )

Don't read this thread whilst eating🤣⬆️🤣🤣

Your ‘boundaries’ are just rudeness and laziness dressed up as being ‘healthy’ and people see through it. Buck up, do your job, ask for help if you need it and people will start to actually respect you.

i've done that and recall it well as my period was in full flow at the same time! All I needed to add was a snotty crying session and all my orifices would have been going at once

If you are at work and you know your pop size is potentially an issue.. walk to the next building and use the loo there.

If you wear a pant liner (say on a long walk) you don’t really need loo roll .

You can't put a poo in the sanitary bin. This happened in an office I worked in once, the stench was something else (after a few days, it didn't really smell of poo but just mega awful) and when the bin lady came to collect it she was fuming, she knew what it was straight away.

Artichokes can generate more farts than beans. Artichoke soup for lunch before a major business presentation with microphones can cause some worrying moments about how your ‘delivery’ may be amplified around the auditorium

I don't think this is the case for all toilets. Quite frankly, this is beyond disgusting, imagine the stench. Not to mention when the bin is emptied they wouldn't be expecting shit to be mixed in with the sanitary items. How fking disgusting. Here's a thought, just tell the person the toilet isn't flushing properly and to use another one.

Don’t sit down on your brand new dark brown pure wool bed throw to put your socks on either.