Advice you’d never share in real life …

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because it would be TMI, or shows a side of you that you prefer not to be seen, etc.

I’ll start 😊

Never let out a large fart while pant-less after applying haemorrhoid cream. Especially when a internal application has been required.

With pants I imagine it’s also pretty bad but more .. contained.

thank me later x

Yes you can, but the thumb thing works so easily and well that if it's not causing any other issues then why bother? My midwife told me doing it doesn't make the rectocele worse.

Do faecal bacteria belong anywhere or on anything except in the bowel? Yuck!!

@Nanaof1 - I recommended cholestyramine to another poster - my GI consultant says that bile acid can often be a contributing factor in IBS - you are supposed to reabsorb it in the small intestine, but those of us lucky enough to have IBS often don't reabsorb it, so it reaches the large intestine and causes the diarrhoea.

Cholestyramine (aka Cholestagel) binds to the bile acid so it can't cause the irritation which causes the diarrhoea.

It hasn't entirely cured my problems, but it really does help.

I have been taking a large round Tupperware with me in the car since my child learned how to aim (as opposed to just projectile).

Sick goes in the box, add any wipes / tissue from cleanup, lid on, under the seat. not fun to deal with later but at least on a long car journey you don’t have that car smell of a carrier bag/bucket…!

This one is controversial but I knew someone who had a morbidly obese teenager of about age 17.

Her mum keeps her daugher fat so she feels better about her own obesity.

How bleak to start out life not being somewhat physically attractive, rather than having the few years most of us have of feeling somewhat attractive sometimes.

I honestly think it'd be better to have an eating disorder (other than the binge/comfort eating she already has) than to start life like that.

Her obesity is also probably only going to get worse, too.

Everyone in this house knows it, no one from outside the house does.

The red bowl has multiple purposes.

It's the vomit bowl.
Popcorn bowl
Fruit bowl
Defrosting meat bowl
Even the dogs water bowl for a while (whilst awaiting replacement for the first one that got chewed)
Cleaning rag bowl when washing the car

It is so multi-purpose I cannot even recall all it's other uses.

I also have a red bowl like this.

i) Keep a box of matches in the bathroom. You can light one to get rid of any very persistent smells. It only needs to be lit for a few seconds and it's very effective.

ii) Following on, on behalf of my dear dad: Do not take a box of matches with you to enact this at work! Not even if it's a really bad one and there are people waiting outside! Not even if your first boss in the late 1960s used to insist it was good manners and completely normal which I call bollocks on, frankly.
Modern buildings have modern smoke alarms. Modern bosses demand proper explanations. Don't do it.

As you move from the gym changing room towards the swimming pool - always check yourself in the mirror first - for correct gusset placement…

This is why you can't eat other people's food! 🤢

Please don't, someone did that in our office toilets and the poor people who have to empty the bin were less than impressed!

They wanted to do an investigation to find out who had done it

You can eat safely in my house. I don't have a red bowl or anything of any colour that is used for anything dodgy and food prep. Totally 😝

If you do have an all-purpose red bowl (colours may vary), don’t use it for mixing buttercream and as a vomit bowl. My mum used to give us the mixing bowl she used for icing and buttercream, if we felt sick, and the sweet smell always made me heave even worse.

I know it’s not really funny but the suggestion of launching an investigation to find the sanny bin pooer did make me laugh 😂

I think perhaps it wasn't multi purpose enough. If your mum used your 'red' bowl to clean the windows, for eg, after mixing the buttercream in it, it wouldn't have had a foodie smell when it transformed into vomit bowl.

I genuinely cannot fathom using a bowl to throw up in and then using it for food prep 😷

Yep, we each used to have our own ice cream carton with a lid for long car journeys.

My DF actually returned a brand new automatic company car because we couldn't even make it onto the motorway without vomiting (and we'd set each other off). It was very surge-y in a way a manual wasn't.

You’re probably right, @isthismylifenow. Mum did separate food prep bowls from cleaning ones - but for some unfathomable reason, vomit came under food prep, not cleaning.

If she were still here, I’d ring her and ask her WHY?

@lazywednesday while brushing your teeth too!

Done this!

Light a match to get rid of poo smells instantly!

Most profound remark I have read this year!

If you're stuck on a noisy hospital ward being tormented by torrents of visitors, tell the midwife in my case nurse you have diarrhea. Within minutes you'll be moved into a quite on-suite side room all to yourself with plastic sheeting over the door and warning signs outside saying no one should enter. Bliss!

The easiest method is just put some extra tissues to weigh it down

While lying entwined with your DH in a postcoital glow, and he still hasn't withdrawn completely,do not sneeze explosively.