Son hurt me. With this (pic)

[271726a]

My son is 16 he kept going on at me over food . I feel ill. I have food in freezer /cupboards . He does not want it. He would not leave me alone. I feel total shit. My other kids are ill as well. I told him to leave me alone.

He then went to his room. He still kept messaging me over food. I'm the end I went to his room and said stop we are ill you need to stop your 16 your old enough to sort yourself food.

He told me to get out . I did I closed the door. He then came out a throw a bottle at me. It don't seem like much but it really hurt . He's been aggressive in the past. And really nasty . But he's never physically touched me.

I can't take this anymore. I told him tp leave he's gone I have no idea where i think he will contact out of hours social services.

I wasn't blaming the OP.
Posters were replying based on the initial post which seemed like an overreaction to a teen losing their patience and lashing out.

OP my heart goes out go you. I've no idea what it must be like and I hope some posters have good advice for you.

You are completely ok to not want to continue to house a violent family member of either sex.

I don't disagree but boys place much more weight on what men say & do.

This.

Of course violence isn’t the answer - but he threw a bottle (once from what you’ve posted) and you then escalated it massively by throwing him out??

What is he like normally? Do you have a good relationship? Does he have a problem with his temper?

OP I think the people judging you don't really comprehend the reality of having to live with a large aggressive male who has finally crossed the line you've probably been dreading.
Whatever led to the breakdown in your relationship and your loss of control of him is not the priority right now, your safety and that of your other children is. I think you do need to engage with services yourself. The police may be a good call to escalate the seriousness and get SS paying attention.
Being someone's mum doesn't mean you should sit around passively whatever they do, and the 'loving boundaries' horse appears to have long bolted. You need help OP before your boy really harms someone and ruins his life in the process.

I agree. But you cannot let him get away with this even once. The first time should be the last time. If this was my son I would call the police and let them take him in. It will be painful but he MUST learn he can't go around belting women when he doesn't get what he wants.
What will social; services do about it?

My other children are fine . He's the only 1 out of My children who is like this . He's admitted to his psychologist at CAMHS he knows what he does is wrong. He knows he's pushing it. He just says he doesn't know why he does it. His psychologist said that he admits to doing it and he feels bad and he admitted no one provokes him.

Heath wise I don't have anything diagnosed. But I get out of breath alot it just means I do things more slowly . Take breaks etc I don't need any actual help. But I get out of breath easy so I was crying because he hurt me then I couldn't breath properly so them it was hard to deal with the situation. Sorry I'm not wording it well.

Fuck sake.

16 year olds can have children, jobs, join the army etc.

But we should pander to their violence because they're 'children?' Fuck that. 16 year old young men are responsible for their actions, and MN needs to stop this shit of blaming women for male violence via the 'bad parenting' bollocks.

Can you easily call support services for help now, OP?

🙄anyone with half a brain in their head can see this isn't a one off and is the last straw. People do like their pile ons though don't they?

Still, I'm sure those people are offering to take this 'vulnerable child' in. Yanno to save him from the terrible parenting like

you did the right thing OP. Violence needs to be ejected from the situation for a bit.

It's fall . He threw it with all his might. It hurt badly. He has Bern aggressive to me for a long time. He's got away with it because its mot that easy to get help . I let this gp he's gonna be hitting me again

I can't believe some of the replies on here. A 16 was behaving badly and threw a heavy bottle at his mother in a stupid argument about food, but people think he has all the rights and she has none.
Hopefully he's gone to a friends to calm down, but social services need to be involved.

I think asking him to leave was the right thing to do, OP. He needs some time to cool off and you need some time to process what happened.

At 16 he is almost an adult and old enough to take responsibility for his own behaviour and his own meals however at 16 he probably isn't mature enough or streetwise enough to sort his own accommodation for the night/future so if you are unwilling to let him back in the house you need to make the call to SS. Even if DS knows how to call, he is unlikely to actually make the call.

That's assuming he's not gone to a friend or relative.

If you are in immediate danger then I would ring the police.

If not then I’d contact SS and CAMHS on Monday and keep on at them until you get more support.

Is his dad involved?
Do you have a named social worker you can ring for support?
Does he know he can ring or message childline himself to have a talk with someone when he’s feeling upset or angry?

Sorry you’re going through this. My brother was like your son when he was teen and he became an abusive adult.

Your safety is mort important. Can you send him to his dad?

Don’t be afraid of chucking him out, you are not safe.

Would you consider police and pressing charges?

Agreed. There need to be consequences for this kind of behaviour. He's old enough to know that his behaviour wasn't acceptable and that no one should have to put up with that in their own home.

My ex was terrible with his name-calling and towards the end, became physical. I have vowed to myself that i will not tolerate this from any male again, including my own children if necessary.

Yes, when they are 2 or 3. A 16 year old should be able to control himself. Disgusting behaviour.

Or police, then deciding if or not pressing charges, if you haven’t tried the strict police custody talk before ? As it seems he has a level understanding of what he does .

He just says he doesn't know why he does it.

I behaved similarly during autistic meltdowns as a teen. I was undiagnosed at the time so had no support at all. I couldn't articulate what was wrong. It was mostly sensory overload or running out of capacity to mask. My parents were smackers and my mum slapped my face on several occasions, making it much easier for me rationalise my violence away after the fact as "if they can do that to me, turnabout is fair".

I hope that it reassures you to know that I'm not like that now. I've learnt to manage my sensory load and take breaks from people to reduce the masking burden.

You say he's with CAHMS already. They should be looking into autism and ADHD as possibilities.

I'm with you on this one OP. I also suffer this sort of thing and last week I left for several days ( DP filled in for me and I stayed at his)
It's only going to get worse, you can always help him with finding a place to live 💐

I'm shocked but not surprised at some of the posts here. There are a lot of posters who seem to think a woman should tolerate being physically abused by a strong male in her own home. Posters are talking about him like he is a 3 year old having temper tantrums. He is 16, and while he is technically a child in the eyes of the law, he is will be an adult 2 years or less.

A pp said that she still needs to look after her 16 year old when sick? A 16 year old can put a pizza in the oven! How did we get to this point in society where the bar is so low? I was able to make a sandwich since I was about 7! Honestly, standards for behaviour are so low!

Op needs support. She has been assaulted and the amount of salivating and hand wringing over this is disgusting.

Don't you think the OP has been trying to do that for the last 16 years?

Some people just turn out violent and aggressive, no matter how well they've been brought up. The OP is the victim of abuse and you are blaming her and saying it's her fault? Strewth.

The apologists for male violence should be ashamed of themselves. Disgusting responses.