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Original poster

I so hope this is the end (dying)

346 replies

Soupsetscared · 10/06/2023 18:14

Mum broke her hip on Monday, had an operation on Tuesday.
She has been suffering with dementia for a number of years.
Lives in a residential home. She does have a DNAR in place.
Went to see her Wednesday and she is just curled up sleeping alot.
Same Thursday and Friday. The only thing she has eaten is a spoon
of porridge. One small sip of water. Ripped the canulla out herself.
Now is refusing all food and drink.
Yesterday the only words she said was to call me 'evil and a fING bith.
Today she hasn't eaten or drunk anything.
Hospital say it's not at the end yet. Will call me when it's nearly time, so I can
ring my brother and aunt.
I have never heard mum swear. I'm her only daughter and upset that she
thinks that about me.
Am I evil hoping it is the end. She has no life can't remember any of her family
and friends. Forgotten she was ever married.
This was someone who was the first on the dancefloor and last to get off.
Enter a beauty contest before marriage and won.
PA to the CEO of a top company.
Loved everyone and anyone.

OP posts:
EggInANest · 23/09/2023 10:02

So sorry OP, it’s very very hard.

She really doesn’t mean that about you. With dementia and possibly post-morphine delirium stuff was just coming out of her mouth. It wasn’t about you.

I hope she is released soon.

JenniferBarkley · 23/09/2023 10:05

I've been following on and off OP. Best wishes to you and your mum, may her passing be gentle.

You must be exhausted. Please never forget all you've done for your mum, you should be really proud. Flowers

Sux2buthen · 23/09/2023 11:55

Sending love Flowers

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dementia & alzheimer's
Zonder · 23/09/2023 12:12

Thinking of you today. Please do come back and post anything you need to.

SnapPop · 23/09/2023 12:39

Thinking of you OP Flowers

summerlovingvibes · 23/09/2023 12:46

@Soupsetscared just came across your thread and it really hit home with me, so wanted to send a big virtual hug to you. We're just starting this journey with my MIL. I 100% agree with everything you've said. Slowly dying is just the most awful thing imaginable. I hope your mum is resting peacefully soon. Sending love.

ElephantOnSticks · 23/09/2023 12:57

I hope she passes soon, OP. These last few months have been a terrible journey for you and for her. You should feel proud for everything you have done for her.

upinaballoon · 23/09/2023 12:59

I was wondering about the situation a few days ago, as I don't come here on Chat very often. I can't add anything except what others have said. Thinking of you.

Lookitaahhh · 23/09/2023 13:04

Oh my lovely, I completely understand how you feel. I have been wishing the same for my dad for 5 years. It’s such an awful bastard of a disease and I wish the law would change to let them go with dignity and peace. I hope and pray for you, your mum and your family that she lets go soon and is at peace and you can grieve and remember her as she really was-dancing, singing and winning beauty contests. Much love ❤️

annonymousse · 23/09/2023 13:13

Im so sorry for what you are going through and your poor mum. The law really must change. I lost my dad in February. I don't want to suffer like he did and nor do I want my daughters to have to deal with watching me go like dad did. I know it's that cliche again but why do we make human death so hard when we can be prosecuted if we left our pets in that condition.

floofbag · 23/09/2023 13:15

I feel for you , my mum is the same . It's a horrible horrible illness . I get so much vitriol from her .
I wish it didn't have to go on so long . How old is she ?

Roselilly36 · 23/09/2023 13:18

Sending hugs OP, awful disease, the effect of the disease caused those words, of course you mum wouldn’t think that about you. I agree when someone is suffering you pray for them to pass.

Pashazade · 23/09/2023 19:05

We had about 48 hours after the hallucinations started. Hope it's a peaceful end. Hugs to you OP

Missingmyusername · 23/09/2023 19:17

I’m so sorry, it’s such a cruel disease. Sending strength to you OP.

BMW6 · 23/09/2023 19:44

Wishing your Mum a swift and easy journey OP, and a virtual hug to you.

Flowers
Hercisback · 23/09/2023 19:48

Thinking of you OP.

I completely agree with everything you have written. My grandad had a very similar drawn out death much like your mums. We wouldn't do this to a dog.

Sending love Flowers

Wineisnottheanswer · 23/09/2023 19:52

Sending strength. You are not alone. 💐

vipersnest1 · 23/09/2023 19:59

You've had a long road, @Soupsetscared.
I hope for you and your DM that things come to a conclusion soon. Flowers

Hellno45 · 23/09/2023 20:17

Thinking of you @Soupsetscared . I hope your mum has a peaceful passing. How are you feeling in yourself?

Original poster
Soupsetscared · 24/09/2023 02:58

I'm on here as its the early hours. Only my brother and our children know.
Can't phone mums sister as she lives on her own, will ring in the morning.
Mum finally passed away at 1.15am. I saw her yesterday and was due to go back this morning. The staff had gone into her room to turn her (every 2 hours) and mum had died.
Don't know how to feel at the moment. Numb but relieved.
No post mortem needed as she was on the pathway.
No pain relief given. Mum had a very high pain tolerance. She just went in her sleep.

Thank you everyone for your support, messages and love during the last 3 months of mums life. She is now at peace.
Xxx

OP posts:
annonymousse · 24/09/2023 03:07

Thinking of you. Be kind to yourself

Robotalkingrubbish · 24/09/2023 03:11

Don’t feel guilty for feeling relief. After the harrowing time you’ve had,mbeing relieved is perfectly natural. Your mum has gone to a better place. Her suffering is over and so is yours. Before long you will remember and cherish the good times. Onwards and forwards now. 💐

DyslexicPoster · 24/09/2023 03:18

Massive hugs to you right now xxx

TeaMistress · 24/09/2023 03:27

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your mum is now at peace. No more pain or suffering. Dementia is an utterly cruel disease. Now you need to take care of yourself and your family. Be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time. Can you try to get some rest and try to have something to eat and drink. Here if you need support. 💓

BakedTattie · 24/09/2023 04:48

Just read your whole story. Utterly heartbreaking.

My mum died of cancer and the long drawn out end was horrendous. I remember feeling so relieved when she quietly slipped away and was no longer in pain.

remember your mum as she was. She’s at peace now.

sending love.