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End of a 6yr olds party- no party bag

413 replies

Just4this1 · 05/06/2023 16:15

NC! Quick one- end of a party, nothing handed out to the children- (money not an issue)- would you think rude or perfectly fine?

OP posts:
originalglazedsingle · 05/06/2023 17:27

girlswillbegirls · 05/06/2023 17:23

@originalglazedsingle do you keep all the tat the kids bring from parties?
I don't, and I hate it. I like my home to be clutter free and feel awful about the environment. I normally put all that stuff in a box and send it to charity hoping someone will like it and use it but feel its wasteful and totally unnecessary.

I wouldn't call books or sweets "tat" personally.

I do have a clutter free house as it happens, but I am not uptight, if my child brings a bit of plastic tat once in a blue moon, it's not going to spoil them if they play with it for a little bit. People need to lighten up a bit, it's a kids party, it's supposed to be a bit of fun.

I know this is MN, where it's the done thing to look down at baby showers, hen nights, weddings, birthday parties, holidays... so many miserable people on this forum!

DamnAndDashIt · 05/06/2023 17:28

Seed, hot chocolate, sweets etc. Might not be plastic, but it's still all 'stuff'. Random, mostly pointless stuff. It's just consumerism.

If people have taken the time and money to host a party, then to me that's generous enough. Kids enjoy the fun of the party, I don't think many are just whiling away the hour and a half until they get the party bag!

Piscesmumma1978 · 05/06/2023 17:28

I hope this is the start of this!

I hate the plastic shite most people put in them. Surely attending a party with food is a treat enough.

hopeishere · 05/06/2023 17:28

Unusual but not "rude".

AlligatorPsychopath · 05/06/2023 17:28

I'd be happy. My DC wouldn't, but I'd tell them to shut their yaps and be more grateful, albeit in nicer words.

It's a bit enlightening and alarming how many people can't cope with the prospect of their kids being mildly disappointed at not getting bonus shit on top of everything they got at the party.

weirdoboelady · 05/06/2023 17:29

Non parent poster alert...

I wonder what the rationale is. As another poster has said, it's a good way of getting rid of people - money well spent, IMHO (I've taken on board appreciatively all the arguements against plastic crap, so I'm talking about a bag with crisps and a cupcake plus whatever, or plus nothing.)

PuppyMonkey · 05/06/2023 17:29

Come on OP, time to own up if it was you that didn’t do the party bags or you’ve got the sad guest who’s moaning they didn’t get a plastic whistle and cake.

Labtastic · 05/06/2023 17:30

so i would have appreciated the heads up beforehand so I could manage my child's expectations.

OMG 🤣🤣

krustykittens · 05/06/2023 17:31

AlligatorPsychopath · 05/06/2023 17:28

I'd be happy. My DC wouldn't, but I'd tell them to shut their yaps and be more grateful, albeit in nicer words.

It's a bit enlightening and alarming how many people can't cope with the prospect of their kids being mildly disappointed at not getting bonus shit on top of everything they got at the party.

Exactly! Also, it's not a good lesson to teach them that when they give gifts, they should get something in return. You brought a gift because it is someone's birthday and it is rude to turn up to their party where you a being fed, watered and entertained, empty handed. Not so you can get a fucking party bag.

NatureNurture85 · 05/06/2023 17:32

Perfectly fine.

Frenchtoadt · 05/06/2023 17:32

My kids are too old for this now but by the end I had progressed to sweet cones I put together myself .. not rude not to provide a bag at all .. the party itself is the treat

Hersetta427 · 05/06/2023 17:32

QUite frankly I would be relieved !

Am a minimum I would be giving out slices of cake unless it was eaten at the party.

notacooldad · 05/06/2023 17:33

I never did party bags for my kids. They are in their warly 20a now but I can't be doing with them. They are worse than the shit you get in a happy meal!

TallerThanAverage · 05/06/2023 17:33

mushroommummy · 05/06/2023 16:34

Oh well looks like I have to rethink Fridays party with no party bags! I wasn’t going to give them out this year, plastic crap, credit crunch, very scaled back party.

Just buy some wrapped sweets like Freddo, Kinder bars, Chewits and Maoam put them in a bowl and let them choose one on their way out.

RovenderKitt · 05/06/2023 17:34

Not rude at all, I’d have been delighted if my kids hadn’t brought home another bag of plastic tat.

Rubyupbeat · 05/06/2023 17:35

Mine just loved the party, a bag was a bonus.
Disgusting, if you have a child that needs its 'expectations' managed!!

mindutopia · 05/06/2023 17:35

It could be they completely forgot. I only remembered party bags about 48 hours before last time, so everyone got a party bag with sweets from the shop and some temporary tattoos that I could get on prime.

MargaretThursday · 05/06/2023 17:36

When I was little (40 years ago) then party bags normally had a thing of bubbles, a balloon, a piece of cake, maybe a packet of smarties, and any prizes you won on the games. That means sometimes you left with a bulging bag, other times you had a little bag with only a few things in it.

For my dc (15 years ago) it was more normally a piece of cake and small present, often a book.

I'm surprised at so many people saying they don't. Although anyone telling me they were doing it for environmental reasons would have the same inner eyeroll as anyone who tells me they're giving charity gifts for Christmas. If you wanted to do them, you could find something that wasn't environmentally unfriendly; it's just avoiding the hassle and trying to sound superior at the same time.

My point is that children have had party bags at parties consistently for 40 years. If it normally happens, then it's unrealistic to think that a child won't expect one. Perhaps the adult version would be if you regularly went to the pub and bought your last drink when they called out last orders, then one time they just closed up and you didn't get your final drink, then you'd feel a bit short changed.
Yes, we can hope they react in an appropriate way, but, it's the end of an exciting party, they're hyped up on exercise, fun and sugar, there are times that even the nicest child can react in a way we don't want.

And I'm with the people that it gives a good end signal to the party - with the bonus that the child investigating their loot then hopefully doesn't fall asleep in the car on the way home. Smile

bussteward · 05/06/2023 17:36

DD was most excited about giving out party bags at her own party, over and above the cake and the party itself. “So everyone knows it’s a party, and they’re happy.” (Apparently happiness can be bought with a fairy glider and unicorn tattoos.) Much as I hate the tat there’s an element of socialising and learning that they’re all doing when they hand each other invitations, give each other bouncy balls and whistles and 10p bags of Haribo, and write thank you on the bags. But I’m always happier with a “book and slice of cake” than anything that makes noise/is a bit chokey/fucking bubble mixture.

Ryanstartedthefire2 · 05/06/2023 17:37

It's totally fine not to have party bags. My 6 year old daughter would probably rate the party badly though. She lives for party bags. I actually like them too. It's a way of saying thank you for the gift and for coming. Also like the bits and bobs

drpet49 · 05/06/2023 17:37

housesforhomes · 05/06/2023 17:14

I never did party bags. I was always upfront - made it clear that for environmental reasons I didn't do them. Kids all got a massive slice of birthday cake in a paper bag with a handful of celebrations chocolate and it was fine.

In fact by year 3 most of the parents stopped doing it as there were a few other parents who felt the same and it became seen as ok.

I like this idea, cake and some chocolates

Mintearo7 · 05/06/2023 17:38

It’s acceptable but be prepared for at least one child to ask you whether there are party bags. Deal with the awkwardness or just have something small/healthy/eco friendly/etc to give to take home with a nice ‘thank you for coming’ message attached.

I8toys · 05/06/2023 17:39

Mintearo7 · 05/06/2023 17:38

It’s acceptable but be prepared for at least one child to ask you whether there are party bags. Deal with the awkwardness or just have something small/healthy/eco friendly/etc to give to take home with a nice ‘thank you for coming’ message attached.

Agree with this. Someone will ask where it is or at least where the cake is. No filter kids.

Saz12 · 05/06/2023 17:39

IMO its fine not to. Its just consumerist crap, really, that makes people think cheap individually wrapped stuff is a necessary way to say "thanks for coming".

TallerThanAverage · 05/06/2023 17:40

gogohmm · 05/06/2023 16:53

For 3/4/5/6 year olds it would be odd, though I prefer a book (buy at a charity shop, we charge 49p for them) for older ones decent sweets only is fine

And if the charity shop doesn’t have enough children’s books then pop a Mills & Boon for mum or dad to enjoy once the children are in bed 😂