At what household income would you become a SAHP?

[AlenaMacc]

Just curious really.
I am aware that many people don’t want to be SAHPs for reasons other than money, but in this case I am asking purely about the financial aspect.
What would the household income need to be for you personally so that either you or your spouse would become a SAHP in order to improve the family quality of life etc?

Yes I can’t imagine someone saying to a bloke. If you give up work, just think, you can keep your elderly neighbours company or go to mom groups.

I also know absolutely if I decided to keep my elderly neighbours company they’d tell me to do one. They maybe in their eighties but they are active and have a full life. The last thing they need is soneone fronting up and sitting in their house

If someone gave you 150K tomorrow to spend on your family, you literally could not figure out what to do with it?

@G5000 I meant that I could not comprehend why someone would need that amount of money to live on. Obviously it's each persons individual choice but i was just shocked that it would be that amount for some to maintain their lifestyle if they were not working.

In addition to caring for the children you would have time to do things like volunteering in your community, helping church committees, being a parent governor at the school,

My mum has always worked, head of a school. So according to some posters, she is evil and not putting her children first - but it would be all good and noble if she would be unpaid governor instead? Sounds a bit like a scam - convince women to do jobs for free.

G5000, surely that is a completely different question?

And yes, if you live on 30k a year for example, the idea of somebody else needing/having 5x more does feel a bit mind boggling.

Could you imagine living on 5x your current household income or does that feel like a huge amount of money? I think it would for most people, no matter what the starting figure.

Bertie ha maybe I'm greedy, I could easily figure out what to do with all the cash 😁

I mean I get what the poster means in a way, but if we are talking about maintaining lifestyle then a family earning 150K will need a similar amount to maintain the lifestyle they have on 150K. With some exceptions like those super frugal families who save every penny as a hobby. But most families adjust their lifestyle according to their income - and it's really really challenging to then divide it by 5, even though it is of course technically possible to live on less.

People are not saying they need 150K to maintain their lifestyle though. They are saying they would want that to give up their own job and become a SAHP.

In my case, I wouldn't want to be just scraping by. I wouldn't even just want the income we have now with 2 salaries. I'd want to be pretty comfortable (so I wasn't constantly wondering if giving up the extra income was a bad ide) and have the ability to put plenty away in case of emergencies.

This is not the same as asking "what's the minimum household income you could live on if you were a SAHP?".

I imagine that it wouldn't be just about maintaining the lifestyle, it would also be about making sure the future would be financially secure without having to completely depend on someone else providing it.

Location will matter too and amounts will depend on where they live and if they would want to continue to say, live in central London.

I know you said you were asking purely about the financial aspect, but thought I would drop this in. My DMs best friend 70 years old says her biggest regret in life was giving up her career. Her husband also 70 still works FT. They don't need the money.

If someone is giving up their career and this is just a hypothetical question so some have given a ballpark number despite not wanting to be a SAHM then it is going to be higher than what they currently have if they don't find becoming a SAHM appealing in the first place, giving up something they may find incredibly fulfilling and going back to what I said about thinking about the future.

It’s all relative really OP, we did it on 30k, but our housing costs were low, (Forces housing) and I never felt that we missed out on treats or were deprived.

I returned to working when my youngest was in year 1, and our combined household income is currently 75k, we managed to keep our housing costs low by buying sensibly and we can comfortably afford holidays , days out, meals out, nice food, and have decent savings. There are many people on Mumsnet who have a far higher household income but seem constantly stressed about money , whereas I feel lucky everyday that we have the money we have.

Nothing. But if we won the lottery and had enough to buy a lovely house mortgage free, I'd reduce my hours. I wouldn't want to risk of being a single income household.

As a minimum Dh would have to cover my salary.

So in reality to have the same take home pay I’m guessing around 150k (ish) but I am clawing my way back up the career ladder and my new jump in salary will be around 125k per year

So I’d want him earning around 200/250k - which is impossible for him to do in his industry 🤷‍♀️

@redskylight Apologies, I thought people were meaning that is what they would need to live on. I was just a little shocked but I would not say no to that kind of money 😁

@SouthLondonMum22 There is the future side of it which I didn't consider (probably because I don't save for the future - I just live for now sort of thing so didn't think about it).

I think it just shocked me a little as we have around £28k annual household income and I'm at home (kids grown up now but due to disability) and we still have some spare money for treats. Can't afford a holiday but I don't really want to go if I'm honest. I used to travel but I'm in too much pain now unfortunately.

It all depends on the lifestyle you want/choose. £150k sounds like a lot but my husband is taxed huge amounts on that salary (as he should be). We are putting our children through private school though (our choice, not the norm I understand that) so taking that into account plus our higher outgoings (mortgage etc) our disposable income for treats etc is likely the same as lower income families not making those choices.

It will come down to what someone feels is important, especially if they are able to have a choice or like I said, being a SAHM doesn't appeal to them anyway.

Personally I grew up with a SAHM, they scrimped and scraped because my mum wanted to be at home and honestly, I found it miserable growing up like that. I wanted nice clothes and nice holidays, not just the basics.

So I would also say that how you grew up influences you too.

About £170-200k I think.

I wouldn’t become a complete stay at home mum but I would cut down to one evening shift (6-12pm) every other week on that amount.

@BSB30 I said I would need £100k to maintain our current lifestyle. That's my salary plus pension.

Mainly that's a big mortgage - our house isn't a palace but a family home in London is expensive. Our mortgage is around £3k a month. We could downsize of course but I don't want to be a SAHM so I wouldn't want to downsize to do it

If I WANTED to be a SAHM, it would not be so much about annual income, and more about things like, are we legally married? Is there proper insurance? Do I (separate from my husband) have a substantial number of assets to my name, and family backing in the case of a split (by which I mean both practical and financial help? Have I trained in a job where it is relatively easy to go back in after a career break if I want to and need to?

I have a great husband and trust him hugely, but blokes are blokes.

@thewillowbunnies It's a personal choice though as to whether the mum in the family works. If they all stayed at home, the workplace would be dominated by men and there would be no female staff to deal with the more sensitive issues for other women.

My husband would have to earn about £150k to bring home our household income on his own. We earn roughly half of that each at the moment. We couldn't afford to reduce our income in order for me to become a SAHM. We need it to pay mortgage and bills (and have one overseas holiday every year). We don't live a luxury life. our house is a standard 3 bed terrace. Not big, but mortgage is quite expensive. Have one very old car and one that is 4 years old. Children are at state primary. So we don't live the life of riley on that income by any means. Anyway, husband could earn that income if he wanted, but he doesn't, so we both work. I'd very happily give up work if I won the lottery (but so would he!)

This is a very good point !

On a personal level being a SAHP worked brilliantly for my family, and I would definitely recommend it if you want to do it. But we (as a society as well as employers) need to encourage men to take up the mantle of SAHP more , as well as ensure that mothers who want to work are well supported.

none. I think we could afford me being a SAHP but I think I’d go a bit mad. Was very ready to get back to work after my mat leaves!

I 💯 agree with you. I'm so glad my children had me to care for them and weren't passed from one childcare establishment to another. Both have thrived into happy, confident adults and I like to think this grounding contributed towards that. Would do much rather do with out the 'fancy stuff'.

Imagine what it would do to traditionally female heavy roles too such as teaching and nursing which already have enough issues with numbers as it is.

Those judging mothers who work full time would soon complain if no one was left to teach their children or care for them when they are really poorly.