Page 14 | At what household income would you become a SAHP?

AlenaMacc · 2023-05-25T20:54:17+00:00

Just curious really. I am aware that many people don’t want to be SAHPs for reasons other than money, but in this case I am asking purely about the financial aspect. What would the household income need to be for you personally so that either you or your spouse would become a SAHP in order to improve the family quality of life etc?

ConsuelaHammock · 27/05/2023 11:36

I wouldn’t stay at home full time given the choice. Perhaps if I was a millionaire?? I work permanently 2 days a week and supplement my income with extra days when they’re available. I prefer to work and earn my own money. My mental health suffers when I’m at home.

ToK1 · 27/05/2023 11:37

@mumof4andlovinglife

Yeah I dont think you're in any position to be trying to imply its me being stupid.

The above link covers all 'takes' including non cash benefits.

Unless you can provide a link backing up your 2% figure?

mumof4andlovinglife · 27/05/2023 11:44

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mumof4andlovinglife · 27/05/2023 11:46

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ToK1 · 27/05/2023 11:48

@mumof4andlovinglife

It does (well, health, education and some others)

The benefits under the microscope include not only those administered by the DWP or HMRC (such as Jobseeker's Allowance, the state pension or tax credits), but also 'benefits in kind' such as education, the National Health Service and travel subsidies.

So yeah, I'd love to see your official stats for your 2 % figure

ToK1 · 27/05/2023 11:50

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Ah ok.

I'll take that as your apology for being so very wrong lol

Most people arent net contributors. That is undeniable.

But its no where near as low as 2 % that are

redskylight · 27/05/2023 11:56

Newnamenewname109870 · 26/05/2023 22:19

Because the woman goes through pregnancy and breastfeeding and takes maternity leave and sometimes she actually wants to!

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Pregnancy is before the child is born.
And maternity leave is now 1 year in the UK and the number of women breastfeeding beyond that point is pretty small (and many of them manage to work and breastfeed quite successfully - I was one of them).

Or are you saying that women must be programmed to want to spend time with their children more than men because they've been through pregnancy and breastfeeding with them? Personally I was desperate for time away from my children by the time I'd gone through them :)

Taytocrisps · 27/05/2023 12:07

If I hadn't kept working when my DC was a baby/toddler/small child etc., I'd have lost my house when my "D"H asked me for a separation out of the blue. I would also have lost the contributions I made to my pension. Most people do a very simple cost analysis and weigh up the cost of childcare vs. their current salary. They don't take into account things like pension contributions or how much their salary might increase as they move up the career ladder. My quality of life (and that of my DD) is much better because we don't have to sell up and move away. Or end up in a homeless shelter.

cannaecookrisotto · 27/05/2023 12:25

Nottodaty · 25/05/2023 23:28

I’ve never missed a school play or sports day neither has my husband. We’ve both done school pick ups and shared the sick days.

i worked FT (i now do 30 hours) as did my husband but we’ve always prioritised our children - it hurts me when i read why have kids and just shove them into day care :( We are both close to our children and have a lovely relationship. I love the fact my husband didn’t want to be a workaholic & wanted to parent with me. That has enabled me to have a career as well - so we both have a good balance. Though I don’t judge whether anyone is a SAHP it’s none of my business.

But to answer that actual question I think it’s nicer that both parents work PT to both be available so probably 30k each - for it not to impact to much.

Don't let that poster make you feel sad, you should feel proud of yourself!

I too work full time and senior enough to choose my own hours, WFH whenever and do whatever needs doing where my 6 yr old daughter is concerned.

I'm happy that my girl sees me as an independent mum and I'm proud of what I contribute to the home as well as wider society. She does around 6 hours a week childcare in total. She loves her childminder, it's a bloody task trying to get her to leave at home time so no concerns there!!

And as for "fancy holidays" not making children happy, I disagree. My daughter has seen more of the world than I did at her age, and the memories we have as a family are better than spending full-time sat at home with me finger painting whilst her dad works all hours to pay for me not to work. I make that happen. Not her dad, nobody but me.

As for the OPs question, it's completely subjective and unless anyone knows the OPs outgoings it's all irrelevant. Someone up North with a small mortgage could be a SAHM on a shoestring whereas down South with a 4 bedroom detached would take £200k 🤷🏼‍♀️.

SouthLondonMum22 · 27/05/2023 12:38

ToK1 · 27/05/2023 09:05

@AlenaMacc

Huh.

That's weird

Because by my count there are far more comments judging wms than those judging sahms.

What were your motivations for posting?

The worst judgement I've received has been irl. Constant comments about how awful it was for a mum of young children to work. My dh never recirved such comments funnily enough

The idea that women shouldn't judge other women is nonsense anyway. But you know that because that's exactly why you posted

By my count too and the judgements are worse. No one has said that SAHM's shouldn't have children.

XioXio · 27/05/2023 12:40

It would depend on your outgoings that can't easily be altered. Eg mortgage payments that were based on 2 salaries. One person's salary point to become a SAHP would be different to another.

I'm a SAHM and household income is ~£40k. Low mortgage payments each month, we have a good quality of life. Have to choose sensibly on what we buy but we don't do without. Allows us time to do our hobbies and spend time as a family. Also we don't have any childcare costs. We're in greater London so not a cheap area either.

NotMyDayJob · 27/05/2023 12:46

DH earns c. £250k and I think it would need to be around £350k for it to be so compelling for me to give up work and be a stay at home mum, compensate for my salary, still make my pension contributions etc.

I would not do it though, it has allowed me to take a slightly extended mat leave with DD2, but that has also been logistical reasons as we relocated during the pandemic so it was always the plan I'd get another job and by the time I start my new job I'll have had about 18 months off. Obviously just not going back to work was an option but we wanted to show both our daughters that both mum and dad work.

We don't come from money, we both work hard and we save hard. We're also lucky that with our jobs we can still do school drop off and many school pick ups. Fair play to all the stay at home mums, I've realised in the time that has been more 'stay at home' than 'mat leave' I am really not cut out for it.

NotMyDayJob · 27/05/2023 12:50

cannaecookrisotto · 27/05/2023 12:25

Don't let that poster make you feel sad, you should feel proud of yourself!

I too work full time and senior enough to choose my own hours, WFH whenever and do whatever needs doing where my 6 yr old daughter is concerned.

I'm happy that my girl sees me as an independent mum and I'm proud of what I contribute to the home as well as wider society. She does around 6 hours a week childcare in total. She loves her childminder, it's a bloody task trying to get her to leave at home time so no concerns there!!

And as for "fancy holidays" not making children happy, I disagree. My daughter has seen more of the world than I did at her age, and the memories we have as a family are better than spending full-time sat at home with me finger painting whilst her dad works all hours to pay for me not to work. I make that happen. Not her dad, nobody but me.

As for the OPs question, it's completely subjective and unless anyone knows the OPs outgoings it's all irrelevant. Someone up North with a small mortgage could be a SAHM on a shoestring whereas down South with a 4 bedroom detached would take £200k 🤷🏼‍♀️.

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You'll not hear disagreement from me. I always said I want my kids to have more than I did, that's not criticism of my parents per se, they did the best they could, and now I am doing the best I can. And part of that is seeing more of the world. I was 19 the first time I went on a plane and properly abroad. I want my children to be confident and aware of other cultures and have different experiences. Particularly as we live in a very homogeneous part of the country.

NotMyDayJob · 27/05/2023 12:55

AlenaMacc · 27/05/2023 09:59

It most definitely is - look into the FIRE community.

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People who do FIRE are generally not retiring during the child bearing/rearing years. They need to have children young and they still have to push the retirement to their early 50s, which, with a bit savvy financial planning you could do anyway if you're a high earner

ToK1 · 27/05/2023 13:05

Retiring is nothing like giving up work to be a sahp anyway

ToK1 · 27/05/2023 13:05

@SouthLondonMum22

Exactly

newstart1234 · 27/05/2023 14:04

I did pretty much at about £23k - over a decade ago now. It was fine tbh. It was only a few years and I don't find work enthralling either then or now. I word pt now, no plans to increase hours.

Wallywobbles · 27/05/2023 14:15

No amount would be enough to make me put my eggs in someone else's basket. Currently household income is enough. I'm the higher earner by 150%.

If I won 100 million I'd keep working til the kids finish school. The youngest has 3 years left. I'm not sure DH would stop either.

Hooplahooping · 04/10/2023 14:08

Wrong thread - sorry.