On holiday and found out he's cheated

[manipulatrice]

I am on holiday with my husband and 2 kids.

I took a picture and sent it to myself using my husbands phone, and as I went to close WhatsApp I saw a name I had never seen. So I clicked it.

He's been having an affair for 6 months. I called his bluff pretending I had seen more and he then admitted as he thought I had seen, that they have been sleeping together.

In a fit of rage I launched his phone and smashed it. He claims he did it because he was lonely as I work nights, and he wanted attention.

I've never felt so alone and desperate in my whole life. We are only on day 2 of a 14 day long haul holiday.

If it wasn't for my wonderful children I think I would just disappear.

I'm quite surprised @Janeyxx that with all your experience in counselling you can't spell it

Well, I didn't like to point that out....

Nope, I am as entitled to give my views as much as the next person. I thought the discussions here were to support people, not to vent our spleen if we disagree.
Anyway your right. This is not a place for rational minds.
All the best op

Oh, by the way janey, I've accessed help since I was 19. I didn't get my proper diagnosis until aged 40 . It's only these last 2 yrs, I've felt well and normal * whatever normal is)
Ps. I'm also a counsellor

Honestly!! The mind boggles!
Are you really a counsellor ?

If you have lots of experience in counselling, why can’t you spell it?

Well done & yes, there is no normal. We just muddle through as best we can and try to respect each other. There is a saying, Hurt people hurt people. Its getting to the route of the original hurt that takes time and effort 😊👍

Predictive text and speed. Apologies for that. I noticed it, tried to edit it and couldn't 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

But you said you were off

then you came back and said your “absolute last” post

not one to stick to your word are we @Janeyxx

There is a saying, Hurt people hurt people

That's so profound, I'm taking notes. God, the depth.

😂

🤣🤣🤣

And anyone is also allowed to say ‘cheating is a the line in the sand for me. I will Not accept it regardless of WHY he has cheated’

Plus the partner doesn’t owe the cheater the time and effort to help them heal from their MH condition.
If that is the case, they can go and see a counsellor fir their own healing. That is a separate issue that is not the partner’s problem

LOL Lying again. 'Councilling' isn't even a word, so predictive text wouldn't even have it as a word. In fact, typing 'councilling' either changes it to counselling or councillor.

@Janeyxx

Predictive text and speed. Apologies for that. I noticed it, tried to edit it and couldn't

How long have you been on MN? You must be new if you’ve only just figured out you can’t edit posts.

Op I've been the other woman and I've cheated. This was when I was with the same man, a horrible relationship where I should have left but instead I cheated and tried to make myself feel better about myself. He found out both times and I eventually left him. I'm now married for 14 years to someone else and there's no way I would ever cheat on him. Im ashamed that i did and that i didnt have the balls to just leave him. My point is people can change, however there must be something wrong with the relationship for him to cheat. Not something wrong with you but something that isn't right for him. If he can't tell you what that is and be completely honest with you, he will do it again 100%.

of course he can give counselling a try. But giving someone else’s vagina a try really isnt a treatment for depression now is it. So no. Op needs to do nothing more.

@WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing

Are you the OW??!

@Niceseasidetown …you beat me too it ,generally people can spell their qualifications correctly 😂

You beat me to it! Most counsellors can spell their own profession

Ross Gellar, his friends sound immature and about as funny as a dose of syphilis!. Why would they advise him on staying safe?!. Wonder if he's been spinning them some lies too. Arse.

Certainly he should!! And he can move his arse out of the house to give OP the peace and space to get her own head together about what he's done to her and their children, and then he can seek all the counseling he desires.

Cheating for many of us is a deal breaker, end of. No amount of 'counseling' a cheater might have would ever persuade me to keep him in my life and in my bed. Let him try out his 'reformed' mindset on his next victim to see if it 'lasts' (hint..it won't). I would prefer to seek out a partner who is trustworthy by nature.

my toes are curling for @Janeyxx