Things that you do as and adult because you grew up in poverty.

[headache]

I was thinking about this just now as I have a different experience of childhood to a lot of my colleagues. I grew up in poverty and regularly went hungry and lived in a cold, mouldy house. Holidays were a thing other people went on and we lived very hand to mouth. As a result now as an adult and a mother of teenagers and I’m lucky to be quite comfortable there’s still some things I do that are linked back to my childhood, for example:

one of the biggest things is always having cupboards bursting with food, tinned food, soup, beans, crisps. At any given time there’s probably 20 tins of beans and 100 packets of crisps on the cupboards. The freezer is always rammed to, I have 4 teens so we eat a lot but still I have anxiety if the cupboards aren’t bursting

• toilet paper and sanitary products again we are always overstocked as I remember being a teenager and scrapping together 89p for a packet of sanitary towels or making do with toilet paper or running out
• heating - we were never allowed the heating on and showers were limited, I now refuse to sit in the cold and I fully appreciate being in the position where I don’t have to worry about the costs. We were always in emergency on the meter and it would go out and I would have to go to my Gran’s and ask fiver for a card. One of the first things I did when I got my first flat and job was buy enough electric for the month at a time so I would never run out.

my Father was a plumber and was never out of work my mother didn’t work but they were useless with money. Even 40 years later some things stick with you and I feel so sorry for any children being brought up like this and worse nowadays. It truly sucks.

My mother had a saying that certain foods were 'too good for you' (her children).

We grew up in a palace of tasteful sterile pastel paint and atmospheres you could cut with a knife. I was denied clean clothes and sanitary protection and the ability to do anything about it. The intent was the utter degradation of her daughters, of whom she was insanely jealous - especially me for some reason. She idolises her elder son to this day (he's bloody welcome to her).

I know what you mean about blocking it out. I've done more years of therapy than actual living, it sometimes feels like. My older sister has clocked up 30.

Sorry should have said ^^ poverty of maternal love is awful. As is an enabling father.

All of these takes of the effects on of poverty in the past makes me feel for those children who are experiencing this now especially when we are experiencing absolutely bonkers price increases in basic necessities.

*All of these tales
Apologies should put my glasses on

As a child I remember being dressed from jumble sales. So embarrassing as other kids ripped me mercilessly for not having any fashionable clothes. I didn't get jeans until my mid teens.

Why? Broccoli stalk is edible! All you're doing is leaving odd bits of stalk that the supermarket probably won't be able to sell and you're wasting food!

I remember my school bully once saw me with my first ever pair of brand new school shoes. She took them off my feet (her sister pinned me down) and she threw them in the bin. When I got them out she shouted "BIN DIGGER" and that was my new nickname for Year 5 and Year 6.

She's a headteacher of a secondary school now. She'll always be an absolute cunt of a human and I would sooner move than her ever be my sons headteacher.

You're right she sounds like a prize cunt, hope behind the scenes she's having an absolutely shit life

Having lots of food in the cupboards etc isn't necessarily linked to being poor in childhood.

We have lots of food in the house.

I eat my children's leftovers, even if I'm not hungry and have a kitchen full of much nicer food and know I will get no enjoyment out of their half eaten chicken nuggets. Growing up there might or might not have been food available late, so it's ingrained to eat what you can when you can. Something in my head still won't let me throw it out and 'waste the food'.

It is for me. Because sometimes we had very little. Friends would comment how much food was in my cupboards when I was single parent and i'm the same now. I'm always conscious that life can change in an instant and I don't want to be without.

I should also mention that until about 5 years ago I was a horrific hoarder. Broken things weren't thrown away in case I could strip them down and use them for other things, worn clothes and shoes were lit to the back of the closet 'just in case'.
I was also hoarding things like bottles (alcohol bottles, pop, jars) because I liked looking at them (they were used and empty!) as it meant I had used them and enjoyed them and I could possibly sell them to recycling and make money from them. Horrendous way to grow up

Shoes for DD. Going to a party aged 15 and all the other girls laughing because I was wearing my school shoes. I didn’t have any other shoes.

I recall my parents counting every Penny and constantly looking for a cheaper alternative. I still find it hard spending money on quality expensive goods and still find myself pinching pennies.

cupboards were never full and I remember the fridge being empty. I like to have a full fridge these days.

You sound lovely. What kind things to do x

@sadsack78 you have really resonated with me , I am exactly the same when it comes to using new things like make up , perfume , even things like a laptop etc I don't think I deserve to have them or use them , I don't know if it's saving for best because I've always done it for as long as I remember.
For my own kids nothing was too much trouble , wanted them to have clean shiny new everything and enjoy what they had/ have
But for me .. charity shop and Vinted

This is exactly me. Rushed to hospital for an emergency appendix operation, I was still holding the paracetamol I was given after the GP examined me. And I have a small hot water bottle to use for my really cold hands rather than pop the heating on for a bit in the day.I have lots of savings so there is no need but I just cant do it.

Getting called a scruff or a scatter....having to use Tesco value deodorant because that's all you could afford and bring told you stink,using cheap nasty thin Tesco value is sanitary pads, that hurt, didn't absorb a heavy period so you would leak, not having hair cuts so try doing it yourself only to be bullied more. Fake school uniform with odd looking logos, much cheaper than the official jumpers. Having shoes that hurt, rubbed your feet raw, getting school shoes from the market, not having a proper waterproof coat with a hood, not having a car or going abroad ever

My mum used to get into debt with catalogues, credit cards...I won't touch credit. My mum grew up in poverty, so she hoarded (1000+ tea bags) and bought food with credit cards and store cards, she wanted to make sure we wouldn't go without, she drank gallons of full fat milk when pregnant because her bones were brittle. She told me that she had cornflakes with water because she couldn't afford milk and she broke a bone and couldn't afford to go to hospital so stitched herself where the bone was protruding (80s Scotland). She also became obese, eating to make up for what she lacked..storing energy for later...habits get passed on, it's transgenerational trauma, if your grandma experienced famine then it meant your mum would more likely be obese (epigenetics)

Level 1 hoarder.
Doomsday cupboards + wardrobes.
I loathe spending money on water/coffee/sandwiches/cake on a day out.
Over achiever in every job, stressing over details others shrug about.
Comfort eating, I suspect.

This has brought back some humiliating memories of period poverty, and being sent to grandparents to beg for a winter coat.

I save leftovers and make sure the food I buy is eaten. If I have veg that might go off, I make soup and freeze it. The freezer is full of yellow stickered food because I shop daily and pick up the bargains.

If it gets chilly, I put a jumper on before turning the heating on/up, but it is on during the winter.

I hate waste. Things get fixed, not thrown away.

My parents weren’t poor as both were working. Just very careful with money. My clothes were from jumble sales, I had to share a bedroom for a long time and we never had the central heating fixed so had electric heaters in rooms and the only source of heat was the fire place. A bath once a week on a Saturday.
I never buy second hand clothes. The heating goes on if it’s cold. Shower every day.
The CH wasn’t fixed until I moved out in my 20’s because the house I bought had CH. I bought a washing machine, we had to use a twin tub as kids and do the washing as parents worked. As soon as I left school to go college, I job hunted and ended up buying my own clothes etc after that. Never needed help and never asked.

I overspend on clothes & shoes (and probably make up/ beauty items too)

Not designer but I do tend to shop at the top end of the high street because I had such awful stuff as a teenager. I probably spend more than most of my friends on similar incomes due to this. I'd rather have one nice cashmere jumper than several cheaper ones. And I tend to gravitate towards branded stuff e.g sweaty betty for my gym gear rather than Decathlon.

I do like good value so though so will shop around with offers/ quidco etc to buy the stuff I want for the least amount of money. I'm also a soft touch for my friends teens (I don't have my own kids) as I will cough up for them to have the "desirable" bag/ t-shirt/ trainers as I don't want them to be marked out in the way I was.

Until recently I could easily afford it but the cost of living is biting so I've been exploring new shops....

Oh god

feeling guilty buying a box of tissues from Lidl to blow my nose, refusing to buy or take medication when sick.

grew up poor - parents split when in teen years so no San pro etc..

this thread makes me wake up a lil bit to my issues esp around hoarding food.

My kids have loads of craft stuff, I very rarely had anything like that and felt huge pressure to not waste anything I was given as presents.

It's strange for me to read about everyone over stocking. I'm the opposite. It stresses me having lots of food in the fridge and cupboards as we never had lots of food in when I was young. I stress about possible waste.

Yes to always making sure we have toothpaste and toilet paper etc. We were constantly out of these items.

Sharing a fish and chips between 4 of us or one chocolate bar. I still struggle to eat a whole takeaway by myself always preferring to share even now. Hate hate hate food waste.