Worst mistake you ever made - regrets ?

[Kay286]

What’s the worse mistake you ever made ? Or things you would go back and change and in life ?
I’ll go first ! I met a guy on holiday when I was 19 , supposed to be a holiday fling only … I ended up moving 400 miles away from my parents to be near him. Pregnant 7 months later and he turned out to be a absolute waster and an alcoholic narcissist.
I got out when my daughter was 3 and as it turned out my life has shaped up pretty amazing !!….. but boy if I could have a word with my 19 year old self I would ! It’s meant I’ve spent my whole life not living close to my mum and I’ve made peace with it now but it does make me sad. I also constantly feel guilty I gave my daughter such a shit father which had a horrible impact on her life for a long time.

I met my husband when she was 3 and he is an amazing dad to her and we have a great life now so I do wonder if it’s destiny but I was so silly !

For me, it was having an abortion when I was 19. My boyfriend (who was 3 years older than me) was horrified that I was pregnant and told me he’d not stick around if I had the baby. I wasn’t well at the time and didn’t have a good relationship with my parents, so felt I had no choice. I’m in my fifties now and often think about what life would have been like if I’d had the child, especially as when I finally settled down I found I could not get pregnant again. It makes me so sad and if I had my time again I would never have done it.

It's easy to say now with hindsight, but the truth is you probably would have suffered significant hardship emotionally and financially even if you went ahead. You didn't know you couldn't have gotten pregnant later in life and you were just a teenager at the time. There are lots of women on here saying that they regret having a baby with a bad partner when they were very young so it could have also caused you some regrets as well. I imagine it must be very hard reflecting back on that though.

I’ll never understand people who would rather live a miserable existence than get divorced, you are together because she NEEDS you, take the dog and leave your happiness is just as important

I truly wish I could go back to 15 year old me and give her some advice. I wish I would have worked harder at school and continued college and stood up for myself more. I actually am fairly happy with my life and consider it to be a good life in general but my career is non existent and I earn a rubbish wage. I was too distracted as a teenager.

Same here though I didn’t have children with my now EXP. He had two kids and I put up with his kids hating me for being with their dad and not their mum for 12 years (they were 5 when we got together). I would never ever get with a bloke who had children of school age. He never have any money cos of CM and trying to buy their love.

@EndlessClouds

We've had the same life ❤

In early 30s meeting a chap at the pub I worked at in the evenings and letting him move in. He was a borderline alcoholic (always able to work) and was foul to me when in his cups, swearing at me in the street, etc. No violence till the last day when I managed to get him out, thanks to his brother who happened to come up to see their mother. He had the nerve to ring a few weeks later and ask to get back together! My idea of a nightmare. He's dead now.

Posting on Mumnet for advice when I was going into hospital. It just made me more upset and stressed.

My mother died ten years ago

When she died my siblings and I rallied around my dad and took him in with us (we were living overseas)

One day he went missing and I said to him that he put my mother through hell when he went missing

It doesn't sound like much
But I have never been able to forgive myself
Even through all the things I did and the places and holidays we took him too I can't forgive myself for it 💔💔💔

Similar to several previous posters,I regret spending wasting 4.5 years with my ex. Looking back now,I know I should have finished it after 18 months,by which time I'd started to realise that he was a liar,a user,and completely unreliable. But,as my daughter pointed out,I've learnt from my mistakes. Once bitten twice shy,as the saying goes.

In some ways I don't regret anything, you are who you are and where you are gecayse of your choices, and I'm OK with that.

But I sometimes think what would have happened if Id done something about my ops director, who I knew liked me?

The thing I'd change most (other than investing £2k in bitcoins) is to tell my DH to not have his knee op. MRSA killed him. Thank you, the NHS.

@C1N1C I hope you find a way to get the happiness you so obviously deserve

Marrying a man I didn't love. I was swayed by everyone else telling me it's what I wanted. I considered suicide to get out of the marriage. I then found out I'd struggle to conceive so stayed. My behaviour wasn't the best. It was born from low self esteem and people pleasing.
He's now a shit father and moved in with someone else and is spending all her money like he spent mine.

This is me, though I'm 15 years older than you. I actually think I'm autistic but that wasn't really diagnosed when I was young Whatever my issues I just seem to make one bad decision after another starting with me deciding to take a year out before university and after that marrying the most awful narcissist ever (my first and only bf). Then leaving him and being persuaded back - why did I do that? Then finally divorcing him but him refusing to leave or discuss it. At least I have good life insurance and I know my dc will never make the same mistakes as me!

This.

I regret not focussing on building a proper career through my late 20s & 30s.

I regret not being more brave and ambitious

I regret not giving an acting career a serious try when i was young and broke and had nothing to risk.

I regret not taking antidepressants ten years earlier than i did, they've made a real difference for me

But all the other mistakes have worked out pretty well really. Sorry that so many above are struggling

Not making more time to see or talk to my Granny even if it was just a phone call. I bucked my ideas up before she died but I didn’t visit her half as much as I should have.

I have many fairly significant regrets but I try not to think about them. I currently mainly regret not saying No to people more, and just doing what I want to do.

You were busy being a young person living their life and I am sure she understood that. 💐

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea sorry I know this is a little late, but just thought I’d suggest tattooing over the top of scars? This may totally not be your thing, so please ignore if you hate tattoos, but I had exactly the same problem and covered them over with a big tattoo. It won’t cover the texture of keloid scarring but makes them 1000x less visible, and I’ve never worried about them since xx

@overthinkersanonnymus im not the first person to write this on this thread, but I could have written what you did… I’m so bloody ashamed of the person I used to be. That constant need for attention and to feel love is like an addiction in itself, as long as someone wants you, you must belong, buts it’s such a dark dark road as you also found out. It does still haunt me all these years later and I sometimes feel disgusting having sex still, as certain things trigger how I used to be and I don’t want to be thought of in that way if you know what I mean? I now have to know 100% that love and respect is there for me to be even a little bit intimate, so my poor fiancé does miss out on things if I’m triggered in anyway, but I’m very lucky as he knows everything and is extremely patient with me. I do hope you have also now realised your self worth and have better relationships in life xx

Recurring credit card spending / debt since aged 18. It was like free money. Fortunately have my own house, have grown up a little and 15 years on almost cleared the bloody Barclaycard, £7k maxed but now only £1k to clear. Wish I'd prioritised clearing it years ago. Never again!

Just too many..
Staying with both my kids fathers for too long.
These decisions led too many other bad decisions.
I'm single and alone because I've fought too hard in life.
I don't trust anyone anymore and I've learnt to like being by myself too much.
I've had too many toxic people in my life and I wished I'd said no more often.
I still don't...

He’s a mistake in the PAST. You’re still here for a reason 💐

Message was for @mopeymouse