Would you let 8yo walk 0.3 miles part of school run on their own?

[SchoolRunQ]

I'm contemplating changing my work hours that will mean one day a week I won't be around for the school dropoff. We have two children that go to separate schools so DH and I usually take one each. There aren't any other parents that go from where we are to school to team up with.

So one day a week DH will be doing drop off for both and to minimise walking distance for the smallest one, planning to drop off DD age 8 (and a half!) on the pavement where she will have to walk 0.3 miles (about 6 mins) straight up that pavement then will arrive at the school. No crossing involved. We currently leave her further up that road anyway to walk the last few metres alone (there is a steady stream of kids and parents going the same way). She's bright and sensible but can be oblivious to surroundings so that's why I wanted to gauge opinion! It's a 20mph road with some traffic but never fast as there are traffic queues at the end of the road.

Don't know if I'm being overly precious even questioning this - she's my first child so not left them alone to walk anywhere before but might be good to start building a little bit of independence!

At y5/ 9 DS2 has been walking home alone due to his brother's school/ transport needs. In the mornings, I do sometimes have a clash of both children being out at the same time and it's logistically simpler for DS2 to walk due to the road layouts. I tend to pass him as he approaches the school site so the chances of being abducted by aliens at that point is somewhat slim.

I still favour walking him to school so I know he's arrived safely and there's no time lags between the office inquiring where he is, but he is capable of doing it himself.

At 8, he was walking "the long way" round the roads independently at his request after collecting him. That was a good way of sussing out his road sense on very quiet roads.

Interestingly when he played with a cluster of children at the Coronation party, he showed the best road sense desite being at the younger end of the school year compared to his peers. They still walk with their mums and younger siblings and chat all the way and aren't used to dealing with the roads themselves.

I do youth work with this age group and they are capable of a lot more than we give them credit for. Knowing that they can roam free range on a closed but large scout camp with intermittent supervision is very grounding. If they need help, they know how to seek it.

So how does that work for parents who have children in after school clubs and rarely see the teacher? Sorry but the argument ‘teachers need to see parents regularly just to catch up/chat informally and see how things are going’ is not true.

Our school is in London and it’s still year 6 to come home alone.

I’m just explaining what our school have said from memory. I’m not saying they catch up informally on the spot, I’m saying the teachers sometimes say ‘hey can we talk at an appropriate time’ and that’s one of their reasons. After school clubs at school have staff present and some pass on if a class teacher wanted to arrange a chat. (Equally they’ll also call you or the secretary will call you.) It’s a small village school. It’s not an argument or the main reason (just one of them), all schools are a little different, it’s just the way ours does it.

As a mum, I would definitely let my ds walk to school when he is 8.5. We stay in a small village where people look out for each other and know the kids that go to the local school. As there are no busy roads to cross I don’t see an issue. I can understand some people not feeling comfortable doing so if their setting is different.

As a teacher, I can honestly say the schools setting policies regarding a parent dropping off and collecting are doing so to cover their own backs. It means if little Johnny falls and scraps his knee on the way home or has a fall out with his friends the parents can’t call and complain to the school (which happens very very frequently). A blanket policy completely goes against the drive to support children to build resilience, appropriate independence and skills for future.

The biggest gripe for me is parents who feel it appropriate to shame others for their decisions. OP asked if you would or would not do that she could ensure she has a clear and balanced head. People saying “no, I wouldn’t dream it is a huge safe guarding concern” are not helping and are quite literally trying to shame her for even asking.

Good study here on children's independent mobility https://www.researchgate.net/publication/315755777_Children%27s_Independent_Mobility_an_international_comparison_and_recommendations_for_action

In regards to what is different about letting them walk at 8 versus waiting until they are 11
"There may even be a perverse effect at play here. Withholding independent mobility at a young age may expose children to greater risk later in their childhood. The granting of gradually increasing independent mobility from an early age allows children to develop and consolidate skills of independent mobility over time as parents allow them and in progressively more complex environments. The delay in granting independent mobility may result in the exposure of children to greater risk when they are older. The transfer to secondary school with longer more complex journeys is often being allowed
without children having gained the earlier experience to help them. In the UK a spike in pedestrian road casualties accompanies the move to secondary school"

I'm in Finland and children's independent mobility is still good here, and I can see how well children cope with it.
"The degree of independent mobility granted to Finnish children is striking. At age 7, a majority of Finnish children can already travel to places within walking distance or cycle to places alone; by age 8 a majority can cross main roads, travel home from school and go out after dark alone, by age 9 a majority can cycle on main roads alone, and by age 10 a majority can travel on local buses alone."

*though the after dark thing I'd say is just being practical - children would barely be able to go out for several months of the year if they were only allowed out when its daylight. My DD wouldn't have been able to go to school in winter if she wasn't allowed out when it was dark because it was still dark when she had to leave for school!

I personally wouldn’t. A lot can happen in six minutes, I’d be worried about a car going past and someone snatching her. Highly unlikely, but not impossible. Like someone said, ask the school as they may not allow it, but you can ask their opinion too

A car could go past and someone snatch your child while you were with them as well. If we're going to worry about highly unlikely scenarios.

The school can argue that the child could be at risk though, and they don’t want to be apart of that risk. Could result in a social care referral if you don’t pick your child up

That’s even less likely lol, and a child would have a much higher chance of survival if a parent is there to fight of a perpetrator 🤦🏻‍♀️

My daughter was allowed to walk the short walk to school at 10 years old, she was a lot maturer at 10 years old than she was at 8 years old. She also had a mobile phone at 10 years old so she could call for help if needed. All kids are different though and parents all parent differently. Everyone is entitled to give an opinion

I'm glad you've posted on this thread @Natsku. Early on, I thought 'what would the Mumsnetter who lives in Finland and once posted about her primary age child taking a shortcut through the woods (possibly in the hours of darkness, which to be fair could have been going to or from school), say about not letting an 8 YO walk 5 minutes alone with no roads to cross, near a school so lots of familiar people around.

But do children this young NEED to be doing these things? There’s nothing wrong with a child depending on their parents to keep them safe. People seem to want their kids to grow up so quickly. Each to their own obviously but I don’t want to rush everything. Just because a kid can do something, doesn’t mean they should/must

Yes. If you want happy, well rounded and confident kids, they need to have an age appropriate level of independence.
There are tons and tons of studies on this. People actually don't want their kids to grow up quickly. The majority of kids are now babied until late childhood. We've also extended childhood waaay beyond what it previously was. There are so many threads on here suggesting we can't possibly expect certain things from adults until they turn 25 as their brain hasn't fully developed.
The age of criminal responsibility in this country is 10 years old. It used to be 8.
The law sees that as the age where a child is capable of knowing right from wrong. They should be more than capable of walking 6mins alone at 8.5.

I wouldn't suggest that every parent of an 8 year old NEEDs to start making them walk the last 5 minutes to school on their own.

But in this case, where it clearly makes the family life much simpler if DD does, then why wouldn't they?
And I think there does come an age where a parent insisting on keeping their child safe becomes inappropriate. 8 is clearly not it, but my DC know children that weren't allowed to walk (safe short walk) to school into their teens. Of course a young child needs their parents to keep them safe, but as they get older, they should be able to rely on their own resources more and more.

I'm follow WIWIKAU (What I wish I knew about university) on Facebook. The number of parents that still micromanage their ADULT children who are away at university is absolutely staggering. This isn't for their child's safety or to help them out, it's solely for the parent's benefit and is not doing their child any favours.

Fair enough to decide you don't want your specific 8 year old to walk to school. But making it out to a safeguarding risk or irresponsible, as some of the posts on this thread would have it, shows a skewed sense of reality and overprotection. This isn't a 3 year old.

Why not, and how is it any of the schools business? They are not in a position to allow it or otherwise.

I personally wouldn’t and the fact that you are asking the question means you probably have doubts in your own mind. You’d never forgive yourself if anything happened.

They don't need to but its beneficial to them if they do. Their physical activity levels rise if they are moving around independently which is especially important considering childhood obesity levels these days, their problem solving skills improve, their resilience increases, it helps with peer relations, and they increase their safety for peak-risk taking years.
It also frees up parental time, making life easier for the family and lowers car usage, which is better for the environment and their health.

I would be so uncomfortable with this, I'd never let her in a million years based on my on my child and others same age. I don't think she'd know what to do if something happened. She would be sensible but just not old enough to be aware of danger. I'm sure others would say that's plenty old enough etc but I always prefer to be on the safe side. X

I have a DD age 8 and no way would I allow this in year 3. Towards the end of year 5 I would but I feel 8 is too young. Maybe it’s because we live in London/Surrey and it’s very busy & the school is on the main road.

At our school most kids are dropped off until year 6, albeit there are parents who will drop up the road from year 5.

The drop off parking area for my DD's school was over 300m away. It was a rural school and if you had to drive at Juniors they were expected to walk up on their own. This was on a public road with a lollipop man near the school to help them cross.

They don't need to but its beneficial to them if they do. Their physical activity levels rise if they are moving around independently which is especially important considering childhood obesity levels these days, their problem solving skills improve, their resilience increases, it helps with peer relations, and they increase their safety for peak-risk taking years.
It also frees up parental time, making life easier for the family and lowers car usage, which is better for the environment and their health.

👏👏👏

Certainly wouldn't be the best idea to avoid letting 8 year olds walk to school alone here as once they get to school they might get sent out cross-country skiing or orienteering with their teacher just waiting at the start and that's a bit more to cope with than a short walk to school!

At our school they only allowed it from yr 5, but the school is on a busy main road. I’m not sure how they could enforce it, other than reporting you to SS for a lack of safeguarding. Anyway yr 5 felt right for us too, at 8 I wouldn’t have felt comfortable.

I used to live in Berlin, where 8 year olds get the u-bahn or tram to school by themselves, and it all seems to be perfectly fine.

Not letting an 8 yo walk for literally 6 mins in a straight line on a pavement seems pretty extreme by contrast. What do people imagine could happen in those 6 mins, with other kids and parents everywhere?