Would you let 8yo walk 0.3 miles part of school run on their own?

[SchoolRunQ]

I'm contemplating changing my work hours that will mean one day a week I won't be around for the school dropoff. We have two children that go to separate schools so DH and I usually take one each. There aren't any other parents that go from where we are to school to team up with.

So one day a week DH will be doing drop off for both and to minimise walking distance for the smallest one, planning to drop off DD age 8 (and a half!) on the pavement where she will have to walk 0.3 miles (about 6 mins) straight up that pavement then will arrive at the school. No crossing involved. We currently leave her further up that road anyway to walk the last few metres alone (there is a steady stream of kids and parents going the same way). She's bright and sensible but can be oblivious to surroundings so that's why I wanted to gauge opinion! It's a 20mph road with some traffic but never fast as there are traffic queues at the end of the road.

Don't know if I'm being overly precious even questioning this - she's my first child so not left them alone to walk anywhere before but might be good to start building a little bit of independence!

I assume there will be a fair few other parents about?
I know I would keep an eye on a young girl in that situation and help if there were any issues.

i dont think so,
can you just leave earlier?
that distance can't surely make much difference.

I told them it wasn't true 🤷 so who knows what would have happened.

I would, but I'm of the unpopular opinion that the increase in mental health issues in young people is partly because we throw too much on them at once. There's so much wrapping up in cotton wool until they're 16/18 and they're thrown into the adult world and expected to get on with it. Similarly at 11, they get little to no independence all their primary years and are suddenly expected to go to secondary school alone, often on busses and trains with first practise runs being done in the summer before they start. That's a bit of a throw into the deep end I think, esp alongside starting a new school.
There was a thread recently where a mum was sad her 11 year old didn't want to walk to school with her in Y7. I think the more lonely parents are becoming, the more are forming really unhealthy attachments to their kids. It's our job to teach kids to be ok on their own, not for them to manage our loneliness and stressed.

Anyway, I digress. It'll be a little scary at first, but things like this are brilliant for kids self esteem and development.

I have quite a few year 3 walk home alone (village school). A parent has to phone and let us know exactly which days that week they’ll be leaving alone. We wouldn’t know if they were arriving alone though. I think it’s reasonable of you considering the distance and lack of roads.

If they left earlier the gates wouldn't be open yet.

I totally agree Dodgeitornot. The cotton wool is bizarre & damaging.

are there other people waiting at the gates that you can leave her with?

Yes I absolutely would.

Its hardly any distance and no major roads to cross.

Most children walk to and from school without parents at this age and many start do this from a younger age.

My own got the bus too school but walked to and from the bus stop at each end by themselves.

are there other people waiting at the gates that you can leave her with?

No, people don't tend to arrive before gates open.

Sorry forgot to add "where I live"

that is surprising,
i would leave her at the gates,
she can be the first!

I might have done a week ago but not now. Someone attempted to abduct a 9 year old girl the street over from my parents house and that's obviously far too close to home

That's awful Teddy

That's really scary and understandably you'll be shaken. However please know that by an large the UK is really safe and these situations are vanishingly rare.
The negatives consequences of a child not experiencing unsupervised play and getting unsupervised responsibilities are really much more common.

This sounds like a very short route and it's unlikely they'll be absolutely no one else there.

I think people really underestimate how damaging it is. Obviously reasons for mental health problems in teens are complex, but the lack of exposure to experiences that increase their confidence cannot be underestimated. Unsupervised play and responsibilities are so so important in building self esteem and self worth.

My 3 yo can easily walk 0.3 miles. He has suspected adhd and so needs to be watched like a hawk but your DH should be able to watch your DS and walk your NT DD to school at the same time leaving earlier if needed. Is there a reason your DH can’t do this?

I assume you have already looked into it, but is there a breakfast club so your DD could be dropped off earlier?

does she have friends you can drop her off with? as its just one day?

The OPs child is 8.5, not 3.

I did, common here

I'd say that's fine, if there's no roads to cross. My just turned 9 year old has a simular distance school run but has 3 roads to cross, so I'm not quite happy to let her go alone yet. If she didn't have roads to cross I'd be ok with it.

I wouldn't at that age, no. Not necessarily the traffic or stranger risk, just that at that age, their ability to rationalise, be logical, not distracted etc is not well developed.
Mine started going on their own in last year of primary (and that was the soonest that school would allow- probably for good reason).

The breakfast club is at the school, and dh would have to take DC2 with them to take DD, so the problem remains! I couldn't drop her off before I take the bus to work because of the infrequent buses in the early hours and physical location of the bus stops in relation to the school.

The problem is that her DH can’t manage toddler and 8.5 yo. It’s the DH and the toddler that are the problem.