Would you let 8yo walk 0.3 miles part of school run on their own?

[SchoolRunQ]

I'm contemplating changing my work hours that will mean one day a week I won't be around for the school dropoff. We have two children that go to separate schools so DH and I usually take one each. There aren't any other parents that go from where we are to school to team up with.

So one day a week DH will be doing drop off for both and to minimise walking distance for the smallest one, planning to drop off DD age 8 (and a half!) on the pavement where she will have to walk 0.3 miles (about 6 mins) straight up that pavement then will arrive at the school. No crossing involved. We currently leave her further up that road anyway to walk the last few metres alone (there is a steady stream of kids and parents going the same way). She's bright and sensible but can be oblivious to surroundings so that's why I wanted to gauge opinion! It's a 20mph road with some traffic but never fast as there are traffic queues at the end of the road.

Don't know if I'm being overly precious even questioning this - she's my first child so not left them alone to walk anywhere before but might be good to start building a little bit of independence!

What would you do if you needed help on the street? Would you not approach a passer-by? Is that not a perfectly normal thing to do?

An emergency is extremely unlikely to happen. It's not abdicating responsibility at all.

What if the emergency is the parent walking to school having a heart attack? Would you expect someone else to step in and help or would that also be abdicating responsibility as well?

Of course it won't. I said multiple times that mental health problems have many layers and are complex. However, if you think an 8.5 year old isn't capable of walking 6 mins to school, than I can't imagine what other activities you would let them do unsupervised.
There's tons of research on the importance of risky play and unsupervised activity. There's no denying that not giving your child those opportunities could contribute to mental health problems and anxieties when they're older.

This is your DH's day to take them to school, so his problem to sort out, not yours.

And what are these "emergencies" that eight year olds might face and can't deal with? Is it abductions

Off the top of my head

Suddenly feeling unwell or needing the toilet

Treading in dog mess

Realising they've forgotten their homework/reading book/PE kit and worrying they'll get in trouble

Dropping something on the way and deciding to walk back to try to find it

Road blocked off for some reason

School suddenly closing...this actually happened at my dcs primary when the boiler broke down first thing when school opened

It's easy as adults to realise what you need to do but a panicking eight year old?

This. There was a thread months ago; a mum asking for advice on now to introduce screens to her 11 year old. She received 17 pages of hatred from people who couldn't believe how her children don't have access to screens and aren't interested in them. People were laughing at her and saying she's lying, it's not possible and some saying she's abusing her kids.
It's incredible to me that the vast majority of parents will have no problem giving a smart phone or iPad to an 8 year old but have an issue with them walking alone for 6 mins.
We wonder why CAMHS waiting lists are at historical highs.

There's a reason there's so many adventure playgrounds in London. Parents aren't allowed to step inside them

Those sound interesting, never heard of parks where parents aren't allowed

All of these situations an NT 8/9 year old should be able to handle. These are all excellent examples of why this sort of thing is important for kids self esteem.
It allows the child to take the lead and solve a problem without an adult. They feel empowered they've managed a, for them, difficult situation. The next time it happens, it's no longer a difficult situation.

I think it is fine, she can always just tag along behind other parents. Is there nowhere to drop her so she gets to walk in with a friend near the drop off point? I have walked several children into school for illness reasons, early morning meetings etc.

The main thing is that she is happy with it. By the sounds of it there are other parents around so she can always call out for help or approach someone for help. Is she confident enough to do this?

You can sit and discuss what they need to do and they can say everything they should and you can think they'll be fine but when it happens it can be a totally different ball game. I discussed a particular scenario over and over again with my Dc when they were 11. When it happened they ended up freaking out and a nearby teacher had to help.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventure_playground

There's normally one adult there that's doing craft or something and you can go to for first aid. They normally have a small kitchen and access to some toast and tea. Once you're shown how to, you can use it yourself. They don't get involved with play nor do they supervise unless it's obvious something is happening.
I spent my childhood at these and it was amazing the things we managed to do. I haven't stepped foot in one for a long time now, but my sister only stopped going recently and says they're still very much the same. Like an inner city swallows and Amazon's.

Would she be going past lots of driveways? My fear is always that one of my DC will be squashed by a car coming out of a driveway as they’re too small to be seen by someone reversing their car out.

That's the same thing for almost anyone else. As an adult I've got myself into situations where I had to ask a passer-by for help, even though rationally I could've handled it myself. No shame going to a teacher. Slowly introducing independence and not throwing it all at them when they start secondary school or uni is wise.

I regularly see children younger than that walking to my DC’s primary school by themselves.

I’d expect a typical 8.5yr old would be fine walking 6 minutes to school alone, especially as there’s no roads to cross.

As the parent YOU make the decisions, not the school.

An eight year olds reasoning skills and ability to risk assess are nothing like an adults

I would, and I have a not very mature 8 year old but I'd drop her at the bottom of the hill to go up the same side to school.
They wouldn't release her on her own but they also have a huge crowd at the gates and are grateful for parents who drop on the other side of the lollipop lady or a little way down the hill (the school is spread up the hill and takes about 4 mins to walk from the newer building through the different KS up to the office anyway).
She's allowed to walk to and from on her own next year (Y5) and I think we'll be dropping her before the last crossing to walk with her bestie and then getting her to wait opposite our road on the way home (there is only 1 road to cross if you take one route, but it's a difficult one, and we can see where she'll be waiting from our front door).

And failing in a safe way (which this was, if a passing teacher stepped in) is part of learning. I bet your DC will cope with that scenario if it happens again.

Well yes, because they've had years of experience building up their ability in various situations. Precisely the experiences we're robbing our kids of. It's a nearly 9 year old walking 6 minutes. Not travelling half way across town on a bus.

Oh cool, I always thought adventure playgrounds were just normal playgrounds but more wood and fun, not a whole ethos. Next time I'm in the UK I hope my children can go to one.
I do have a junk playground in my back garden though, that I started building during lockdown. Lots of fun.

@Natsku That sounds brilliant! I bet your kids love it. You can just turn up, sign a form and will be asked to leave. There's a min age but I can't remember, I think it might be 7 or 8.

Personally, no I wouldn’t be comfortable with it.

That sounds a good idea. Let the school know so hopefully more parents will start to do the same.

It's fine. Kids around here walk to school and back alone at that age.

Cbeebies to say here if teachers noted a 8yo was walking themselves to school the parents would be called in and out would be an issue of concern. 200 pupils but entry is staggered so they have a reasonable idea with SMT on the gate evri morning.

Al this seems to be about minimising you're walk for littlest, but honestly how far is it? Can he get both to school on time if he walks eldest to the g gate? It's unclear why the walk is so untenable for your other child?