Would you let 8yo walk 0.3 miles part of school run on their own?

[SchoolRunQ]

I'm contemplating changing my work hours that will mean one day a week I won't be around for the school dropoff. We have two children that go to separate schools so DH and I usually take one each. There aren't any other parents that go from where we are to school to team up with.

So one day a week DH will be doing drop off for both and to minimise walking distance for the smallest one, planning to drop off DD age 8 (and a half!) on the pavement where she will have to walk 0.3 miles (about 6 mins) straight up that pavement then will arrive at the school. No crossing involved. We currently leave her further up that road anyway to walk the last few metres alone (there is a steady stream of kids and parents going the same way). She's bright and sensible but can be oblivious to surroundings so that's why I wanted to gauge opinion! It's a 20mph road with some traffic but never fast as there are traffic queues at the end of the road.

Don't know if I'm being overly precious even questioning this - she's my first child so not left them alone to walk anywhere before but might be good to start building a little bit of independence!

You can say you make the rules, but it school would just refuse to let am 8yo go home without being released to an adult.

@philautia if it makes any difference I would not be considering this at age 7. DD was still in infants then. Being in Juniors or just being that bit older has definitely seen a bit of a change in her. But it definitely depends on the child - she has friends similar age that I don't think would want to or be able to do it. I think 8/9 is a bit of an in-between age which is why it's so hard to gauge!

Exactly. Theoretically I guess you can let your eight year old walk to school and they can't do much except refer to safeguarding if they were inclined...but the walk home is different because they may not release the child with an adult being there to collect.

Would she be going past lots of driveways? My fear is always that one of my DC will be squashed by a car coming out of a driveway as they’re too small to be seen by someone reversing their car out.

That is a sensible point that I hadn't considered. I'll check how many driveways there are. I think probably not many as the pavement is lined with parked cars - so another barrier between child and pavement which is why it feels quite safe.

In terms of what might happen, in my ten minute school run, in the last couple of weeks or so we have encountered a very large loose dog that wouldn’t leave us alone and the pavement being dug up by a utility company necessitating crossing a busy road we normally don’t have to.

Add the obvious scenarios - someone reverses out a driveway without looking, school unexpectedly closed, man in vehicle tries to talk to them, they witness a serious road accident (happened to me walking alone to secondary school), they realise they forgot something and decide to go back for it, they trip and hurt themselves…

You would have no idea if your child didn’t make it to school until at least 9:15/9:30 at my children’s school, when they start phoning unexpected absentees.

Yes, some eight year olds can probably make sensible choices in those scenarios in which case fair enough. I hardly think that concluding that in general they can’t and thus supervising them is so ridiculously suffocating as to result in mental health problems at 18.

DD1 would have been fine, DD2 wouldn't.

But from an early age it is important to talk about what to do if you get separated, not just the specifics of what to do, but how do you decide what adult to ask for help if you need it. What are the signs that someone will help? What are worrying signs? To stay in public, trust yourself if something doesn't feel right etc. Not blanket rules, but things to weigh up. And then they do need small, but ever increasing, opportunities to put them into practice.

OP, I think this is a really good start to your DC learning to travel independently. Walking to/from school when other children/parents are around is one of the safest ways to start building up independent travel. And taking time to do this gradually over a couple of years is far, far better than throwing them in the deep end in year 7, when they might suddenly need to travel to school in an unfamiliar town, using 1 or more busses/trains and walking in unfamiliar streets.

I remember a parent complaining how hopeless her DD was at getting to school in Y7. The DD had to catch a bus to a nearby town, then walk about 10-15 mins to school. She was struggling to do this and kept phoning her mum for help. When I asked how her DD had got to and from primary school, the mum had dropped off and collected her from the door, every single day. Her DD had never been anywhere on her own before, so her first experience of solo travel was this difficult journey to secondary school. I felt so sorry for the girl, as her parents had failed to prepare her for the journey they now expected her to do.

Do what you're comfortable with, just don't judge (or question, as you worded it), people who do something different. For parents that live in urban areas with county lines, heavy traffic, knife crime, etc, it's hardly difficult to understand why they wouldn't.

Mind you it wasn't exactly the Hunger Games they'd failed to prepare her for, was it? I'm sure she got used to it after a few tries.

this comes up again and again, the school can only raise a safeguarding risk if it is a specific risk to that particular child in those circumstances not because of a blanket rule about y5 etc
if a child lives next door to school it is unlikely to be a provable safeguarding risk to arrive on own even in y2 however for a different child 2 miles away on country lanes with no footpath it might be a risk in y6
once a parent gives written permission for a child to walk to school alone or home alone that is it, the school are not in loco parentis before or after school hours; the school can't overrule it just because it's their rule, they can raise a safeguarding risk if it genuinely is one; but social services will not be interested in it unless is deemed unsafe, they are not remotely interested in headteachers rules. so blanket rules for y 3 y 4 etc are not measures of risk but convienent guidelines in general but exceptions can be made and if it is reasonable for OP's 8 year old to walk 300 metres unaccompanied when there are no roads to cross then a written note to school giving permission for this is adequate

@Darkchocolatekitkat

Yes, some eight year olds can probably make sensible choices in those scenarios in which case fair enough. I hardly think that concluding that in general they can’t and thus supervising them is so ridiculously suffocating as to result in mental health problems at 18.

That's not really what I mean though. You've listed situations that'll happen to anyone. An 11 year old walking to school will just as easily be stumped by any one of those scenarios as an 8.5 year old. 6 mins walking down a safe road, is not something most NT 8 year olds can't do. Concluding that most kids can't do that, does show the alarming level of coddling the average 8.5 year old gets now. The link between lack of unsupervised play and responsibilities and future anxiety disorders is clear.

The only realistic and genuinely concerning situation I've seen said here is the driveway one.
The rest, for the most part have been a normal situation that is rare but can happen. You can think of a million of those but it is parental anxiety. It is not the fact that the 8.5 year is not capable of walking 6 mins alone, it's the parental anxiety that something will happen.
It's not a good reason to give kids when explaining why they can't walk alone.

‘if parents stifle their children with their obsessions and restrict their scope
to explore, then the young generation will become socialized to believe
that vulnerability is the natural state of affairs’ (Furedi, 2008a, p. 195).

A study into why there's less and less children with independent mobility (travel unsupervised). Interestingly this study examined kids from age 8.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7998357/#B3-children-08-00225

It listed the following as benefits that unsupervised travel provide:

is associated with benefits including greater physical activity, improved risk assessment, way-finding skills, self-confidence, and self-esteem.

@Outofthepark Of course they got used to it, but the stress could've easily been avoided if that child had not been thrown at the deep end. A short 6 min walk at 8.5 is a perfect stepping stone. You increase that with age and by the time they're 11, they're not having to stress over starting a new school as well as suddenly learning to travel independently.

It’s not parental anxiety anymore than I make my child sit in a “babyish” booster seat to keep them safe in the car as a result of anxiety. And to be honest I think “because you aren’t grown up enough to deal with unexpected scenarios even if you are completely capable of doing it under normal circumstances” is an entirely reasonable reason. I mean I could easily leave my six year old at home alone for an hour. With a snack and a drink and the TV and her toys she’d be fine and she’d probably be quite happy. Should I do that, or should I take account of the possibility that someone might call at the door, the power might go off, she might drop a drink and not know what to do with a floor covered in broken glass, she might take it into her head to run a bath…?

A year 3 child encountering unexpected scenarios is in my opinion far less capable than a y6/11 year old of making a sensible decision. Yes unexpected things can and do happen to anyone, whatever age, but I’m of the view eight is too young to deal with them alone. I mean presumably you feel that there is some age at which it would be inappropriate?

I personally wouldn't, regardless of how mature they appear to be.

@Darkchocolatekitkat But none of your examples are remotely suitable. A booster seat doesn't stifle the child's development, it keeps them safe and is needed. Crash experiments show that. Just like studies show unsupervised travel is important for kids development. You wouldn't stick a six year old in a car seat too small because that would be dangerous. Failing to give kids the freedoms they need to grow, is the same.
Leaving a 6 year old in front of the telly for an hour is also not great for their development, parent there or not.
Yes in general a Y3 child will naturally be far less capable than a Y6 child. That's why I wouldn't allow a Y3 child to walk to school alone for a mile or where there's busy traffic or where they need to rely on public transport, but I would a Y6. I also wouldn't leave a Y3 child alone at home for more than 10-20mins. Interestingly the studies done on key latch kids are mostly negative. Unsupervised travel and play is good, but it's not great for kids go be home alone for long.

Walking for 0.3 miles on a quiet residential road in a straight line, surrounded by other kids, is perfectly safe for an average NT 8.5 year old and it's important they have those small steps to independence.

These aren't emergencies. These are things children need to learn to navigate.

Life skills.

In a word Yes, depending on route/main road crossings and the child. My DD was doing this in Yr 5.

Get an Apple Tag on their bag and track them.

Sorry if I am being dim but why can't your DH just take DC2 with them to drop off at breakfast club?

There's three or four boys in DSs class (yr3) that do.

In theory I'd let DS do it, but don't want to.

Yes, it'll be fine. More than fine, it'll be good for her.

Mine cycles or walks independently to and from school/sports etc has done since shortly after her 7th birthday.

It's a bit nerve wracking for you as a parent the first few times but it's such a confidence boost for the child, especially when they do get the chance to solve minor issues by themselves.

Op is being very vague about why youngest DD can't walk for 12 minutes. I suspect its a DH problem not a youngest child problem.

What??? Walking 300m up the road to school? Do be serious.

id say anyone who has an NT 8 year old incapable of this needs to look at their parenting.

@SchoolRunQ honestly, some of these replies 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ It's perfectly fine, it's not like he's leaving her in the middle of the woods to find her way out alone!!!

The life skill of getting to school, can't get in, no phone to phone anyone, and having no adult around because school is closed?

Having spoken to a head teacher about this, there is nothing they can do. It’s a parental decision.

I suspect it's none of our business seeing as she didn't ask for advice in regards to that part.