Do you like your parents?

[MullerInk]

Inspired by a comment I read on a website over a decade ago. The website was like a teen gossipy American type thing so the comment "I don't like my mom, I just don't like her personality" really surprised me and I think about it a surprising amount.

To put it diplomatically, both my mother and I are very complicated and different people. There is a lot of water under the bridge, and some things have been difficult to forgive, and impossible to forget.

As to why did I have kids? Because I intended to put a lot of time, thought (therapy), and effort, not to mention research into parenting my children very differently, and hoping for a more positive outcome in terms of relationship. I have been nowhere near a perfect parent, and am all too aware of many of the mistakes and shortcomings, but I am open and receptive to hearing their hurt, discussing it, acknowledging it, and apologising for it, and I think that does make a difference.

One - adore and am adored

Other one - awful human being who has never liked me

I have never liked my mother sadly. I did like my father but he didn’t much like me.

You can be a decent parent and your kid might end up not liking you. It all depends on personalities and whether you clash. Sometimes adult children grow up to be not nice people, the parent they actively dislike might be the decent person. I knew a woman who was very highly educated and had done very well for herself who was so disparaging about her poor mum’s intellect and values - the poor mother who had sacrificed everything to give her the chances she never had. There are many factors at play. The fact is we are all human and are all flawed.

My mum, no.

Nope, they’re a complete waste of time.

Mine are dead. They were fine. My mum could at times be a bit annoying but she was kind and caring and I loved her dearly and miss her daily.

Gosh this could be my mum. She has just been diagnosed with dementia, which potentially explains a lot. I’m sorry your mum has changed too.

Ps I do miss my dad too. He wasn’t a hands on dad and was very much of his generation but was hardworking and loved his family dearly.

I adore my mum, she’s incredible. Couldn’t have asked for a better mum and she’s also one of my dearest friends and most trusted wise confidantes.

The thought of her not being here one day is horrifying. Her own mother was a piece of fucking work and everything she is is inspite of her parents.

My dad is a hugely complicated person who’s had a lot of trauma starting at birth and I wish things were a bit easier for and with him. I admire him and enjoy his company.

Liked my dad very much. He was funny and kind and just lovely. He is no longer here.
I love my mother but I don’t like her. She is judgemental and narrow minded and I suspect she didn’t like me. It is what it is.

No.

I was 11 when my mother died, and as uncomfortable as it seems to make other people, I wasn’t sad then and haven’t ever been as she wasn’t a nice person.

My dad it’s more complicated. He’s given me years of absolute hell with his mental health problems, stole my youth because of them, ruined my first marriage and now he’s descended into dementia over the last couple of years. I’ve had untold stress with that as an only child with no other family, he’s robbed me off my toddlers first two years. I’ve had to do everything for him, sort everything out as there is no one else and even in the throws of dementia, he’s vile to me as he thinks I’ve shoved him in a home to get rid of him.

That’s not the dementia talking, it’s him. He’s always had to be the centre of my attention. I’ve gone from being angry at him for most of my life to hating him for what he’s done to me. I’ve said for the last couple of decades that I wont be truly free until he’s dead, I didn’t bank on the hell of dementia to contend with.

Ive been told I sound cold and callous. But until you’ve walked in my shoes, you can’t judge.

I liked my dad, although the relationship wasn't brilliant due to him retreating from the family when my mother left him, when I was 17. He died when I was 33.
I never particularly liked my mother. She was a control freak who favoured my older sister and when she left my dad she became a totally different person, although at 17 and totally outside world avoidant I was deemed old enough to cope and understand.
She ended up with mnd and took 5 years to die and I had counselling because I couldn't get my head round feeling happy about her impending death.

I liked, maybe even loved, my mum.

I despise my dad. Spineless, selfish arsehole. Haven’t seen him in years and only speak to him on the phone from time to time out of a sense of duty.

Yes I loved them both . My mum and my dad (dead 44 years) and my amazing stepdad.. 40 years.. lost them both last month within a week of each other.. I'm floored..

Yes, both my parents are kind, honest and funny. I love spending time with them.

I like them both. They both are a mix of good and not so good qualities, like all of us. Maybe because I love them, I naturally focus on the good, although I try and do that with my friends too!

I am lucky to have them. My brother would probably say something completely different though! Personalities just clash sometimes.

I had the best mum ever. Loving, kind, independent, supportive. My dad could be overbearing, but he loved and protected me. I miss them so much.

I'm nc with them

My mother is a narcissistic witch,who let me down again and again

She knows no boundaries,is selfish,nasty,bitchy and weak

My father enables her-hes a nasty bastard

My in laws are my parents

We lost fil at the end of the first lockdown and he's missed dearly

My mil is an angel on earth

When we still had fil,they where just there-they never took sides,they supported us they loved me for being me and we adored them both-mil still does all the above

Now he's gone,my mil is my mum-shes an amazing lady who has done so much for me off her own back without asking for anything back (my own mother would do something minor but expect the world on a stick back)

I can phone her anytime and tell her anything-shes never judged me and she's always spot on with her advice

I know she finds me a bit strange (she's southern,quiet and reserved-I'm the opposite and northern) but she repects the fact dp chooses to be with me and has never stirred the pot-unlike my own mother who has tried from a distance to break us up

She's amazing-but my own mother can rot in hell when she goes-i won't be bothered at all

Yes, like them and love them.

I love my parents but unfortunately I don't like them very much as people. They'd probably say the same about me.

I adore mine and really enjoy spending time with them. They are the kind of people who I would choose as friends. Really loving, supportive, kind and caring. I got lucky with parents.

Adore my dad .. my mum is however as narcissistic as you can get .. horrible selfish women

I have a complicated relationship with my mum and she wouldn't be a part of my life if she wasn't my mum. She was a good mother when I was growing up though, no doubt about it.

My dad is a kind and loyal man.

If I needed either of them they would be here in a shot though, which makes it more complicated because I don't enjoy my mums company

I do like my mother, she’s kind, rather witty, always warm and tries very hard to help people whenever she can. We’ve had bumps in our relationship but she adores me and would do anything to help me or care for me, still despite my being 30 now with a child of my own.
I despise my father, or rather I did despise him, when I last saw him, 18 years ago. I expect I still do. He’s a vile person.