Am I being horrible to say I'm envious of the stay at home mummy's

[pollyflickthekettkeon]

I'm just in from work. I'm tired after having little sleep after DD was complaining of a sore head last night (3am) I'm trying to get lunches/ breakfast/ myself ready for work and get my kids ready for school. I'm so tired. Anyway long story short, I, along with lots of parents are in a group chat with other parents from the school. Today whilst I was tired, busy and running on empty I kept getting alerts from all mums that's don't work ( some single parents, some with partners in decent income ) talking about meeting up for breakfast and going on a shopping day. I'm not overly friendly but I know these people well through the years of school pick ups etc. all nice people. But I've decided that I'm miserable bitch because I'm so cheesed off that they have all this wonderful, leisurely time to do fun stuff and I'm exhausted working and having nothing to show for it lol 😆

Anyone else like this today lol

You couldn’t pay me enough to go on a breakfast with a WhatsApp group full of yummy mummys 🤢, I’d rather be at work!

If they’re single parents that don’t work I don’t see how they’d have the money to live a life of luxury?

The other ones? God know. Sounds terrible

I honestly can’t think of anything worse than trying to occupy my time by coffee and shopping with other random mums.

I'm envious because my youngest is sick so myself and dh are tag teaming days off work to mind her. No else to mind her as grandparents still work and neither of us are in roles that are possible to work from home . It's a nightmare and so stressful.

Lol I understand what you mean I think it was just my state of mind and enduring a hectic day after the BH

I don’t see how going for coffee or having a shopping day , where you don’t need to actually buy anything is “living a life of luxury”.

I wish I could stay at time too, and I didn't even have children 😞

Yes I think that's when I want to pull my hair out too. Getting last min baby sitters in the morning is tough.

I hope your little one is ok
Xx

I can relate- several of the mums I know post about their lovely calm "slow days"... I wouldn't know what a slow day is most of the time! Excluding SAHM who are carers of course (they have a bloody hard time) rightly or wrongly it makes me absolutely green with envy at times (even if I have financial freedom, yada yada)....

@Jazzyjezzabelle savings/inheritance, passive income, such as interest from stocks and shares.

I’m sorry that you’re going through a hard time - definitely doesn’t help when you’re missing sleep.

Over the school years there are all sorts of meet ups - I could manage the morning ones but the evening pub ones were out of the question for me because of my ds’ needs. I also couldn’t afford the dinners because we were managing on a single income.

I guess I’m saying that we all envy each other at times but there can be more to our situations than meets the eye.

Hope you get a decent rest tonight.

I feel the same as a working single parent. I'm tired all the time and most days wish I didn't work but then I think back to a few years ago when I wasn't working and how much I wished I had a job.

It's just so hard @pollyflickthekettkeon . My first thought at any signs of illness is oh shit rather than checking they are ok . Then the comparing calendars starts.

I think a breakfast and shopping trip by myself sounds like an unimaginable treat.

Maybe they work part time but earn enough to enjoy themselves.

I know how you feel OP, I'm a single parent and work in a management position. The responsibility is always, always on me. Can be crushing sometimes

Yabu. I'm a sahm and it's the job with absolutely no break or downtime. My kids include a baby who wakes multiple times in the night and my dh works gruelling long nhs shifts including nights so I have so do a vast amount on my own with absolutely zero family support. It's relentless. Don't put all the sahms into the same 'lunch date / do what we eat category' as many of us work very hard. I've had demanding jobs in the past but this trumps it all hands down.

I'm really sorry I absolutely did not mean to offend anyone as I know full time parenting can be stressful and exhausting. It's just my own head today after a horrible night. All I wanted today was some down time and it was getting rubbed in my face ( for want of a better way to put it)

It's ok, I'm sorry if I read your post the wrong way! I hope things get better for you soon x

Honestly when I hear the kids shuffling down the hall in the early hours I just want to cry lol

I'm a sahm. Please don't think we all spend our days having brunch and leisurely shopping trips. That is so far off the mark.

Being a SAHM to a school age child/children is - very privileged position.

That said, several of the ones I know are only such because they’ve given up work to look after the kids pre school age and now can’t get back to work because their work experience is out of date. Also, DH has gone several steps up the career ladder so his wage is too important to the family coffers for him to do any child caring. Hence Mum can’t work as it’s not easy around all school runs.

Go for coffee with them one day, I think you’ll find they whinge about their deal as much as the rest of us!

Parents of school aged children who do not work are living the dream!

So am I and my youngest is 30

Be as envious as you feel you need to be but remember you're likely seeing only part of the story.

I'm a sahm because I had postpartum psychosis after dc1 was born and I was in no fit state to return to work after maternity leave. My then psychiatrist was determined I should quit and work on developing a bond with my baby. I did and I've regretted it ever since. The truth is though that episode shattered my sense of self so much I can't see me ever getting a "proper" job again.

One of the school mums I know has an abusive controlling dick for a dh and he won't let her do volunteer work let alone paid work. He will let her go out for breakfast tho as long as its with a "suitable" bunch of "ladies" (who knows why he thinks I qualify!).

Another sahm I know is a full time carer for her daughter.

I try and make the most of what I have but I'm absolutely envious of women who kept their sanity and their careers. Everyone rants, it's perfectly normal. Speaking as someone who got three hours sleep last night, I hope we both get more tonight!

lol - same!

I'm a SAHM. The idea of brunch and shopping is my hell. When DS is napping I play Trickster or something on the xbox.