What minor laws would you introduce?

[JustKeepSlimming]

lighthearted

If you were put in charge of Everything for a few weeks, what minor laws would you introduce? I'm thinking things that would be really easy to implement, and would make people's lives easier.

I would make it the law that manufacturers of electronic devices had to indicate on the outside of the product which batteries it needs (type and how many). I'm fed up of having to take the battery cover off, check what's in there, and then either put the cover back on (fiddling with a tiny screwdriver), or leave it off somewhere (to inevitably lose it) until I can get new batteries for the thing.

While they're at it, they can make the cover permanently attached to the device so it doesn't get lost. But not attached in a way that makes it impossible to reach the batteries.

I would do a royal family lottery. Bin this boring lot and Every two years a family is picked at random and they are then the royal family. Seems only fair to share it out. Think of the excitement caused by the new royals and their dramas!

Ban all pre packed meat and deli products. Bring back deli counters and butcher counters where good old fashioned grease proof paper and paper bags are used.

Fine councils for every week they don’t repair pot holes after they have been notified of the pot hole.

No plastic on fruit or vegetables.

Hard time for owning a vicious dog

Ban smoking in all public spaces

Ban all “reality” TV and anything with “Celebrity” in the name

These have been standard practice in most affluent Muslim communities. The few Western countries that installed normal bidets seem to have given up so we are back in the dark ages !

That is actually illegal where Im from. I never understood how it could be legal int he UK...

What about smoking and non-smoking benches at the pub?

It's such a shame you feel like that about whistling. In another thread somebody was saying how sad that you hardly ever see a bloke walking briskly to the bus stop whistling away showing how he felt about life. They said had stopped 10 years or so ago. I reckon, as time goes on, you just get less and less people enjoying life enough to want to share their joy. I hum, is that OK?

Oh for the child-free carriages on trains. You can legislate not to have your ow so why must you have to share other people's?

All for the T shirt for people who don't pay child support.

Mrs Topaz! My money's all on you...

Oh Mostar. Want to shake your hand you put it in a nutshell.

You can already do that.

All cats to be kept within their owner's property.

Can you imagine. Sod’s law the first lot would be katie price

A ban on all free roaming cats. If you want a cat, it stays in your home/garden. If your cat is caught on someone else's property it will be rehomed and you will be banned from owning cats. Bloody sick of irresponsible cat owners.

Also like the community service idea for teenagers but I would also do a refresher course for all prospective retiree's. They need to do a year in a call centre or some other public role before they can retire. I think serving time with teenagers would improve relations between the generations, as well as improve politeness in general. Some of the rudest, entitled and obnoxious people I have come across have all been older.

I would also get rid of prima genture laws in the house of lords. It's ludicrous that we have a house of lords in the first place, but as we do I see no justification for that power to be in solely male hands.

Oh and I would ban all cigarettes, vapes etc and absolutely no public smoking anywhere.

I would also ban alcohol from being sold in shops. If you want a drink, go to a pub or restaurant. No need to drink at home in front of kids. I would also ban alcohol adverts or showing drinking on TV the way we did with smoking.

Also like the community service idea for teenagers but I would also do a refresher course for all prospective retiree's. They need to do a year in a call centre or some other public role before they can retire

So that excuses all teachers/doctors/bus drivers/shop assistants/social workers, etc. who already work in public roles.

Yup they've done their time, those who haven't need the refresher.

Grumpy middle aged person alert

Internet access for under 18s to be supervised education access only during school hours ( access to the internet to be restricted to adults via a personalised credit card .. breaches result in the adult having access suspended).

Dog microchips that are scannable so people can remotely ( Bluetooth style scan the dog) and remotely report poorly behaved pooches in public areas, owners are fined… microchips hold dogs DNA so poo can be swabbed and traced and owners fined ( I am a dog person but also fed up with irresponsible owners and dog poo in trees, the dogs don’t put it there so the owners of the poo can face the fines). Fines are proportionate to income

Those who are convicted of a violent/stalking offence during relationships to be held on an accessible a database that ppl can look up, same with sex offenders

All kids to be taught how to cook from scratch, grow basic vegetables and manage basic finances outside of school … compulsory after school type classes for teens … let’s not burden the schools but help teens manage basic skills into adulthood.

Royal family have to declare all finances, wills, income and expenditure if they wish to receive public funds.

Dog owners are licensed to the breed of dog they are capable of handling. I love GSD’s but couldn’t handle their insatiable work ethic and intelligence but am perfectly suited to spaniels… professional dog handling course decides before you can purchase a dog

Terrestrial tv channels are not allowed to interrupt normal programming for yawnsome sporting events like football, they have to show it on a dedicated tv channel elsewhere.

Private schools have to donate all profits to state schools, if they are found to be hiding profits they get closed down

All cars fitted with a drug/ alcohol wipe before ignition will start. Which will hopefully free up police to deal with other crimes.

Organisations can ONLY advertise jobs IF they're genuine vacancies AND the boss's mate isn't in the running (having been burned twice recently)...

You can remove it or change the wording

Shorts with any shoes that aren't, or don't look like, trainers.

Yes. And when a salary is advertised as between x and y, they aren't allowed to ask what you're currently on (z), and if z<x, offer you something below the advertised range. Fuckers.

And while I'm on, job sites where you put in your hometown, and a distance, say 50 miles, and you do a search and they give you listings for London and Glasgow regardless.

I'd also ban any TV channel where they show back-to-back episodes of the same show all fucking day. There is no justification whatsoever for stations that have nothing to offer but Judge Judy and insurance ads all fucking day.

Make it law that doctors appointments on a Saturday or after 4.30pm are only for those who work. Any surgery which saves Saturday appointments for vaccinating the over 70s ( which mine does) should be water bombed immediately and without warning.

I am good with this idea, but would add, immediate fine for letting your dog wander into someone’s garden too. ( looking at neighbour whose dog visits my garden for a poop. Yes, I have you on camera…)