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Original poster

Your worst faux pas

361 replies

AtChoService · 02/05/2023 08:32

Reading a coronation menu just reminded me of this, it was 20 years ago and I still cringe 😬

I was in my first proper job, first posh Christmas party and the food had servers but you had to go up to the table, get a plate and go along the line.

The starter had a few options, ham, melon, compote stuff, a few other things.

I moved along the line and stopped and held mh plate out at each server, thinking this doesn't ago, this is a bit odd, got an odd look but thought nothing of it at the time, 🙈 you weren't supposed to take a portion of everything, you were supposed to choose melon OR the other thing, not all of it 🥴

I doubt anyone but the servers noticed but I still cringe a bit now.

OP posts:
Brewskipa · 04/05/2023 12:31

My son gets a taxi to his special needs school. Last week when they arrived to pick DS up the chaperone said “hi mum” to me so I said hi back. The driver then said “hello mummy” and I replied “hello daddy”. FML.

Earlier this week as they picked him up I did what my son calls the “inside out trick” with his coat (putting my arm through the inside out arm, holding his hand and then transferring the coat onto his arm the right way). Driver asked if I had any more party tricks. I said “oh I couldn’t possibly tell you”.

fucks sake I’m so awkward. 😂

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 04/05/2023 13:18

@JusthereforXmas Candida 😂

StarlightLady · 04/05/2023 13:25

I got up rather bleary eyed, put on my dressing gown (I sleep naked) and went for a wee. ' End of the dressing gown belt ended up in the loo. So I put the belt in the washing machine to be washed with the next load. I kept the dressing gown on sans belt and the doorbell rung. I forgot I wasn't "belted up" as it were and oped the door to the postman with all on view 😱.

TallulahBetty · 04/05/2023 13:41

Peanutlicious · 03/05/2023 16:49

Asking a new friend why she had a big picture of Laurence Llewellyn Bowen on her wall in the lounge, for her to tell me it's her Mother

😂😂😂😂😂😂

SirVixofVixHall · 04/05/2023 14:22

LeefPeeper · 02/05/2023 18:58

Myrtle Smurf has me wheeze laughing 😂

Show quote history

Me too.

SarahLHs · 04/05/2023 14:44

Pregnant cashier at supermarket told me to have a nice day. I replied saying 'thanks, have a nice baby'. What is wrong with me?

SirVixofVixHall · 04/05/2023 14:44

Peanutlicious · 03/05/2023 16:49

Asking a new friend why she had a big picture of Laurence Llewellyn Bowen on her wall in the lounge, for her to tell me it's her Mother

Crying laughing at this.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 04/05/2023 15:26

My car had something wrong with it so ex-husband gave me directions to a good mechanic and told me who to ask for. Off I went to one of these under the arches type of car repair places. I marched in and it must have been their lunchtime as about six guys were all sitting there with their tea and sandwiches. I blurted out ‘am I in the right place for Dick?’ As soon as it came out of my mouth I realised what I’d said. I was mortified as they all fell about laughing.

Original poster
AtChoService · 04/05/2023 15:27

Brewskipa · 04/05/2023 12:31

My son gets a taxi to his special needs school. Last week when they arrived to pick DS up the chaperone said “hi mum” to me so I said hi back. The driver then said “hello mummy” and I replied “hello daddy”. FML.

Earlier this week as they picked him up I did what my son calls the “inside out trick” with his coat (putting my arm through the inside out arm, holding his hand and then transferring the coat onto his arm the right way). Driver asked if I had any more party tricks. I said “oh I couldn’t possibly tell you”.

fucks sake I’m so awkward. 😂

Omg 😂

OP posts:
ClawedButler · 04/05/2023 15:33

'am I in the right place for Dick?’

This made me howl!

ClawedButler · 04/05/2023 15:36

I haven't got great hearing, but it's awkward asking people to repeat their name, so that's when I came up with the idea of asking people to spell their names out to me. Thought Mrytle Smurf couldn't be right, hence why I asked and he must have thought I was a imbecile not being able to spell Nigel OR Smith.

Gentlemenplease · 04/05/2023 15:38

magicstar1 · 02/05/2023 08:59

Bumping into an old friend and asking how his mother was….because I’d completely forgotten that I’d been to her funeral a couple of years before.

Damn.

IcakethereforeIam · 04/05/2023 15:39

Myrtle Smurf 🤣 if I ever get a cat.....

I'm too old for another child 😔

CarrieMoonbeams · 04/05/2023 15:48

elevenplusdilemma · 03/05/2023 20:59

I was new(ish) to my job. Arrived for work one morning and there was a strong Pledge-like scent in the office so I asked who'd be doing the polishing. Nobody had - the smell was my boss' new, rather expensive perfume.

I wonder if it's the same perfume as the one my colleague wore?

We were going down to the staff restaurant in the lift and I said "It smells lovely in here, must have just been cleaned. I love the smell of Mr Sheen." No-one else could smell it though.Then we were queuing up for lunch and I said "Wow, I take it there was a special offer on cleaning products, they've been going wild with the Mr Sheen in here too!" Still no-one else could smell it.

Then later back at our desks, my colleague leaned over me and I realised the Mr Sheen smell was her perfume! It was Ange Ou Démon.

I liked it so much though that I bought a bottle for myself!

Chickenkeev · 04/05/2023 15:55

When i was on maternity leave, i ventured out for a walk with my lo in the buggy. Went as far as the local 'trendy' dock area. Was a more windy day than i thought but ho hum whatever. Was at the dock area and said i'll go in to chemist and stock up on STs. Grand. Shoved them in the basket of the buggy and the minute i got outside the chemist a massive gust of wind and blew the two packs of STs out of the buggy and blew them around the area outside the chemist. I was horrified, but as FTM couldn't detach from buggy, so watched aghast as they swirled around reaurant tables etc. Two older (think mid 40s, i would have been 30) men went running to grab them. You could see their faces twist as they copped what they were when they rescued them. Red faces all around and mutterings and shufflings off on all sides after they repatriated them to me and the buggy. I was utterly morto at the time but older and bolder now! Lovely fellas tho 😍

Tourist29 · 04/05/2023 15:59

I was at my brother’s house warming years ago. The owner had been elderly and the house needed work. I was chatting to my brother and his new neighbour Mark (our age) about the work he had to do. Looking down at the patterned carpet I said “I bet you can’t wait to rip that out” he replied “Mark and his wife gave it to us” (it was new /left over). Can’t remember what anyone said next

ACurlyWurlyTail · 04/05/2023 16:06

@Iseeadarkness I dont knoww why I am laughing so much at this but I spat coffee doing so and just keep thinking 'digestives' and laughin out loud. I am reading on through the pages but it keeps bubbling up. I am in a public place. Help me

InconvenientPeg · 04/05/2023 17:42

Works do at a sister organisation, it had been a long stressful journey to get there. Set up to intro the new CEO to the company.

My boss and i were honoured guests because of the work we were doing for them. Get sat at the table of the new CEO, who I had just watched do an hour's intro speech, but boss hadn't seen as he'd rocked up late because he couldn't be bothered to sit through the speeches. But I have face blindness and am terrible with names, so I said I thought we'd been sat on the 'top' table but wasn't sure who the new head guy actually was.

Sit down, everyone introducing themselves. My boss cheerily/cockily asks the new CEO who he was and what division he worked for. There was a long, frosty pause before he replied.

Still makes me cringe but also, it served him right. Though I'm fairly sure I was more embarrassed for him than he was!

glitterfarts · 04/05/2023 18:28

What is an STs in chickenkeev's story?

Mine, still cringe... I hired a car and got to the end of the long drive, paused to look before turning onto a busy road. Car stopped. I couldn't it make it start, so left it blocking the entry. Might've marched back up to the rental desk to mutter quite angrily about stupid car and that I didn't break it and wouldn't be paying for it....
only to find out that new cars do this. And if I had put it in gear, it would've restarted ( I think - still have old cars).... omg, couldn't look them in the eyes. They were sniggering as I did the walk of shame back to the car.

GrandTheftWalrus · 04/05/2023 18:35

@OneMistakeAfterAnother I used to work for Harry fairbairn as well.

AlwaysGinPlease · 04/05/2023 18:59

Iamblossom · 02/05/2023 08:54

I do not mean to diminish your discomfort in anyway and I say this to make you feel better hopefully, but if these are the worst faux pas you have ever had in your lives you should both count yourselves extraordinarily fortunate.

It's a thread to share past experiences not be rude to others on

Bloodynitpickingpixie · 04/05/2023 19:08

@glitterfarts sanitary towels.

Iamblossom · 04/05/2023 19:12

AlwaysGinPlease · 04/05/2023 18:59

It's a thread to share past experiences not be rude to others on

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂

I could not have been kinder. It was a genuine observation. How on earth was I rude?

Baffled.

BirdChirp · 04/05/2023 19:21

I was a week in to a new job and the company had had some good news, so a couple of people had brought amazing cakes in. The best one was a big chocolate mirror cake, really smooth and perfect.

The morning rolled on, and I really wanted some because I am really weak around food. So it got to 11am which seemed a reasonable time and I thought I'd just tuck in. I went and got a slice of the best cake and sat and ate it at my desk, increasingly conscious that no-one was following my lead.

11.30am arrived and the CEO came in and made us all gather round. Literally crying with happiness about the company good news, he gave a speech, then grandly gestured at the cakes to enable us to eat and celebrate. And then he saw the sliver missing. 'I see someone couldn't wait'. I tried to style it out with a 'ha, ha, yes couldn't resist' but was mortified.

AntAndDecking · 04/05/2023 19:34

Iamblossom · 02/05/2023 08:54

I do not mean to diminish your discomfort in anyway and I say this to make you feel better hopefully, but if these are the worst faux pas you have ever had in your lives you should both count yourselves extraordinarily fortunate.

What’s an example of a faux pas if you haven’t had a fortunate life? Surely your worst faux pas is different to the worst experience you’ve had in your life? Or is it easier to style out mistaking someone’s mother for Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen (for example) if you are middle class and wealthy?