Your worst faux pas

[AtChoService]

Reading a coronation menu just reminded me of this, it was 20 years ago and I still cringe 😬

I was in my first proper job, first posh Christmas party and the food had servers but you had to go up to the table, get a plate and go along the line.

The starter had a few options, ham, melon, compote stuff, a few other things.

I moved along the line and stopped and held mh plate out at each server, thinking this doesn't ago, this is a bit odd, got an odd look but thought nothing of it at the time, 🙈 you weren't supposed to take a portion of everything, you were supposed to choose melon OR the other thing, not all of it 🥴

I doubt anyone but the servers noticed but I still cringe a bit now.

When I first started dating my ex we went to the cinema, I went to the loo and came back and sat down, held his hand…. Only to realise I’d sat down next to a stranger 😂 my bf was sat 2 rows behind laughing 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

DD and I rented a car at Gatwick, collected keys and trudged off to find it. It had loads of scratches and dings on it that weren’t marked on the rental sheet. Paranoid we would be charged for damage we went back to the rental desk and got the assistant to come back to the car park, check the damage and update the rental sheet. As he walked back to the desk, I clicked the key fob and a car several further down the row unlocked!! How I drove out with my head ducked down I have no idea!

I admired a colleague’s necklace once. She said ‘thanks, it was my grandmother’s.’ I said ‘Did she leave it to you?’

‘She’s not dead yet,’ said the colleague.

Many years ago, when I was a student (and of course an expert on everything), I was helping out one day grilling burgers at a charity thing. An older man was also on burger duty and he asked me what I was studying. He also asked what I wanted to specialize in and I said x. He said what about y, to which I responded that it didn’t really appeal to me. He pressed me on why and I eventually blurted out that I didn’t think y would be very intellectually challenging. Turns out in that town he was the most respected expert on y. It was a very uncomfortable burger grilling session after that. Since then I have learned some tact but after 30 years in my profession my suspicions about y have been confirmed many times.

I used to work in a local solicitor's office when I was 17.

We received a complaint from a client......the empty office building beside them was crumbling and was affecting our client's property and falling down into their carpark. We were tasked with finding out who owned the crumbling property and contacting them.

I did some searches and discovered the name and phone number of the owner of property that was in disrepair.

I duly phoned Mr brown 'Hello Mr Brown, it's Storm in a teacup99 from Boden Solicitors. We have had a complaint about your ERECTION on Bond Street'. This was accompanied by deathly silence at the other end of the line.

I was utterly mortified. Meanwhile my colleagues were trying to rather unsuccessfully hold in their guffaws in the background. I still cringe!

This just made me crack up on the train 😂

On a driving holiday in Ireland with several other friends. All couples driving two seaters, One of them had arranged for us all to visit a friend of theirs for refreshments. On the day the friend who’d arranged the visit couldn’t attend due to illness but he sent directions and told us the lady doing the refreshments was happy to still accommodate us. We found the house, a lovely cottage with a beautiful garden. Knocked on the door, a lady answered “Can I help you”
”We’re Bobs friends, he’s sorry he can’t make it but we’re delighted you’re still happy to give us refreshments”.
The lady looked a little confused but said please take seats in the garden, and goes off into the house, returns with jugs of coffee, tea and asst. cakes. WE spent lovely hour with her, used her loo, she showed us the cottage. Thanked her for her hospitality and left.
An hour later Bob rings one of the group to ask if all was ok, xxxxx was waiting for us with to call at her house for the refreshments!
Somehow the directions had been noted incorrectly and we’d gone to the wrong house.

This one happened to a friend… one of her colleagues kept dropping into conversation that her birthday was coming up and “Yes, it is the big one” - but she was really hoping no one would make a fuss and embarrass her. She was so worried there might be a fuss that she told absolutely everyone said birthday was coming up several times 😏

My friend was put in charge of organising the embarrassing fuss this woman of course absolutely didn’t want. She got a giant “Happy 60th Birthday” banner, organised a specially decorated cake, lured this woman to a meeting room on some pretext and everyone appeared shouting “Happy 60th Birthday!!!”

The woman stared coldly at the cake and decorations, then even more coldly at my friend and her colleagues. Friend was having a sudden panic that the birthday girl had actually genuinely not wanted a fuss when she said “I’m 50” - before turning around and walking out.

The first time I met my husband's parents, they served sushi with a side of edamame. Being young and uncultured, thought they were like mangetout so shoved the whole bean in pod in my mouth. The pod was disgusting and took a good few minutes to chew and swallow. Wanted to be polite so just kept eating them until one they wouldn't go down anymore and unvolunarily spewed out of my mouth. Not sure if in laws were more unimpressed at my uncultured pallet or me regurgitating on their plates.

Another one. I was in Wilkinsons by the checkout and was so hungry I ate a banana whilst queuing. I put the peel in a bin then the man in front of us in the queue exclaimed, "Hey, why are you putting your banana in my bin." He was queuing up to buy the bin.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You didn’t notice he was wearing lipstick, women’s clothes and jewellery? Was it you that’s partially sighted?

😂😂😂😂

This sounds a lot like the plot of Persuasion.

😂😂😂😂😂

I LOVE ones like this. So simple yet so cringe

The women's clothes was a woman's floral top showing at collar of the unisex jacket, they were wearing trousers and nothing else about their clothes was feminine. The lipstick was very subtle and only noticable when right next to them. Jewellery also very subtle, and was rings whuch I only saw when they put their hands up to the sign. You had to be right beside them to notice the clothes, make up and jewellery.

Some of these tales do seem a tad...

contrived. 🙄

It's not a creative writing exercise!

I bet you are fun at a party🙄

It's a long while since I've read Persuasion but I see what you mean!

It was also a reminder to me that lots of people have shared histories - especially if they've lived in the same place all their lives, have grown up together, etc, and a relative newcomer like me - or my friend in this case - can wander in with observations about others at our peril! 😳 😂

I was 19 or so, newly started work, not very confident and had to phone a contact.
Is that Mr so and so, I asked the deep voiced person who answered the phone.
No, it's Mrs so and so, his wife replied. She then asked if she sounded like a man.
Why on earth did I not say it was a bad line instead of replying "I couldn't really tell!"
Still cringe 35 years later...

Secondhand embarrassment for my husband- lightly tipsy, ordered a takeaway, told me he’d treat us both. The takeaway driver arrived and when my husband went to pay, realised he didn’t have any cash. We lived about 5 mins away from a cash point so my husband asked if he could possibly run over and get some money out, the very friendly delivery driver offered to give him a lift. As he left I muttered “make sure you get enough to give him a good tip!”

About ten minutes later, my husband runs into the house, in an absolute panic. After going all the way to the cash machine and back, he’s just realised he didn't take out enough money! The takeaway was something like £36.50 and he took out £30. We both had to root around the house for spare change in a panic and eventually after all this fuss, paid the poor delivery driver with exact change and no tip. Never ordered from there again.

Yep. There's always the creative writers. Over egged and so easily spotted.

That's given me my first proper LOL of the day!

Name changed in case outing.

In the middle of our house renovation we ran out of something (paste or some sort of tool, I was a child so don't recall exactly what) but my mother volunteered to go to the large diy shops on the industrial estate and I was taken along.

So still in messy diy clothes my mother walks into some sort of champagne reception, not a shop at all, people all in suits and smart dress. Instead of saying 'oh sorry, wrong building' or something along those lines, then swiftly exiting, she said 'I was looking for [item] and didn't move. One of the people present, and clearly tipsy, invited her in and proceeded to make fun, then said they didn't have any and we left.
I cringed at the secondhand embarrassment for a long while after.