Is that money ‘mine’?

[MoneyMine]

I am disabled and receive ESA (so that’s my ‘income’)

Ive just been awarded PIP and have received backdated money. It’s quite a bit of money (for me). About the equivalent of 1 month of DH monthly wage.

dh wants to treat that money as ‘put it in the common pot’.
im thinking this is money to improve my quality of life, xtra cost due to my disability etc… Not to go and buy groceries or do some decorating.
ESA goes in the common pot.

What do you all think?

@MoneyMine, I commented early on in your thread and have been following ever since (and dear god there has been a lot of ignorance displayed here).
I just wanted to have my say about PIP too, and how difficult it is to get it:
DC2 was born with a genetic condition that seriously impairs their vision (registered blind at two months old). I duly applied for DLA for them and that went through relatively straightforwardly.
When it came to PIP however, it was a whole different story (this echoes what PP have said). We had to attend for an assessment. The assessor was seemingly friendly and understanding and then went on to tell a whole tissue of lies in the report and DC was turned down. Laughably, they actually put the official name of the tremor that DC has in the report when we had never been given it. The rest of the report was based around the fact that DC signed a form (when the place to do it was pointed out - they do have some vision) and the fact that they wore shoes with laces. Unbelievable! Luckily it went through MR after I wrote a response for DC covering four sides of A4. Ridiculously though, the award was only for five years (are they miraculously going to 'get better' - I don't think so). When the renewal date came up, we didn't even get a letter telling us to update, just one saying it have been renewed - it still isn't for their lifetime though.
The whole thing is a sham and needs a serious re-think.

Compassion and empathy, like common sense, seems to be a disappearing quality in many people. Too many.

🤣🤣

I think what worries me in this post is the fact your husband seem fine with letting you go without básica adaptations . You say you can easily afford a hoist even before the backdated pip but he choose not to do it . Does this mean he doesn’t let you make financial decisions ? I’m a mum to a young disabled adult , the pip and uc goes in the family pot as he has no capacity to make financial decisions and he will always live with us , we both work , it goes in the main pot as he gets absolutely everything he needs from that money .
IMO your husband reluctance in providing for your needs is controlling and borderline abuse .

Yep. Another way of looking at this, would be to ask why someone who earns at a level attracting higher rate tax wouldn’t want PIP to pay for his partners’ comfort. She contributes £500 a month ESA. Plus she pays her PIP mobility component over for a motability car. There’s another £300 a month. So if we’re splitting hairs into yours and mine, he can use public transport. Or walk.