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Original poster

What modifications would you like to make to the human body?

227 replies

BabyJellyShark · 28/04/2023 14:48

I don't mean bigger/smaller breats, liposuction or anything of that nature but helpful additions.

I wish that there was a reflex that'd stop you biting your tongue when eating or sneezing.

It'd be great if when you experience a pain or nausea, if your brain could tell you exactly what you need to do to fix it e.g drink more water, see a Dr, you need rest etc.

And teeth that replace themselves would be wonderful.

Oh and if you could get a period over with in an hour or at least one day, that'd be great.

What modifications would you make?

What would you add?

OP posts:
Jolenetookmyman · 28/04/2023 15:46

A switch for TTC, until then a complete off button for eggs/ periods etc. No more gynae problems, accidental pregnancy or contraception. Or how about a hidden vagina until with woman actually wants to have sex.

Toileting pellets at convenient times.

Squamata · 28/04/2023 15:48

Being able to eat food whole, like an unpeeled vegetable or a fish complete with bones, then cough it out as a pellet like an owl. Actually I'm not sure I do want that, come to think of it

Squamata · 28/04/2023 15:48

It would save a lot of chopping and peeling though

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General health
Pencilsaremylife · 28/04/2023 15:52

A switch to switch on off your fertility, no more contraceptive pills no more surprise babies just switch it on when you are ready.
Zippable abdomen handy for surgeries or caesarean sections no need to cut you open.
First fingers on your hands to be more pointy, no more fat finger missdialling on phones or keyboards.
Fertiliser for hair so you don’t have to wait years to grow it.
Eyes that can see in the dark.

Stettafire · 28/04/2023 15:52

Jolenetookmyman · 28/04/2023 15:46

A switch for TTC, until then a complete off button for eggs/ periods etc. No more gynae problems, accidental pregnancy or contraception. Or how about a hidden vagina until with woman actually wants to have sex.

Toileting pellets at convenient times.

Oh that's a very good point!

DisforDarkChocolate · 28/04/2023 15:53

TourmalineGiraffe · 28/04/2023 14:59

Get rid of nails, I quite fancy retractable claws

Can I just say that I really like you.

Rainbow1901 · 28/04/2023 15:54

Volume control in ears!

One GD does not like loud noises so being able to turn the volume down would be brilliant. Added to which who doesn't have ringing in their ears after a loud disco or concert? Life would be a lot more comfortable.

Widmerpool · 28/04/2023 15:54

Teeth, fully agree, always thought they were a design fault.

Also: fathers should do the breastfeeding. Women have the pregnancy and birth, and no sooner are those over than they have to produce milk, get up in the night and generally get no chance to recover!

Rainbowshit · 28/04/2023 16:01

Skin that doesn't burn in the sun.

BillStickersIsInnocent · 28/04/2023 16:02

Aren’t our bodies designed to return to the heaviest weight we’ve been? I’d get rid of that fucker.

Teeth are a huge design flaw and often our mouths are too small to house them all.

BillStickersIsInnocent · 28/04/2023 16:03

Being able to fly would be great.

dotdotdot3 · 28/04/2023 16:04

Telescopic arms and legs would be useful, plus I'd really like four arms/hands. And teeth. Yes, teeth are long overdue a redesign!

WishIWasACavewoman · 28/04/2023 16:05

Swap patches of long hair and bare skin - if you think about it, WTF? - for fur all over. It could be just as varied in colour and texture as human hair, but all over and about an inch long, perhaps longer on heads. In winter we'd grow a downy undercoat, to be shed at will when it gets warm. No more sunburn, better temp control, clothes optional but accessories just as much fun, and option to trim/dye fur as much as wanted

Bamaluz · 28/04/2023 16:05

An eye on an extendable appendage so when you get a spot or sore in an awkward place you could actually have a look to see what is going on.

SamanthaVimes · 28/04/2023 16:07

Widmerpool · 28/04/2023 15:54

Teeth, fully agree, always thought they were a design fault.

Also: fathers should do the breastfeeding. Women have the pregnancy and birth, and no sooner are those over than they have to produce milk, get up in the night and generally get no chance to recover!

Yes! Fathers doing breastfeeding would be a much more sensible division of labour

ValerieDoonican · 28/04/2023 16:07

WishIWasACavewoman · 28/04/2023 16:05

Swap patches of long hair and bare skin - if you think about it, WTF? - for fur all over. It could be just as varied in colour and texture as human hair, but all over and about an inch long, perhaps longer on heads. In winter we'd grow a downy undercoat, to be shed at will when it gets warm. No more sunburn, better temp control, clothes optional but accessories just as much fun, and option to trim/dye fur as much as wanted

Ooh I love this! Think of the faff it would save 🤩🤩

newtb · 28/04/2023 16:07

Thyroid glands that work, perfectly, for ever.
Like the teeth idea and the fur. Also eyesight that doesn't get knackered.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 28/04/2023 16:09

Short hair all over our bodies similar to a Labrador so no need for clothes, we just grow a thicker coat in winter. We would save money and time doing all that laundry. I mean what animal can you think of that's mainly bald except for an odd tuft here and there then a huge long hair growth from the top of the head. It's ridiculous.

WishIWasACavewoman · 28/04/2023 16:11

Snap, @CheeseCakeSunflowers !

Mangone · 28/04/2023 16:15

That pain would only last a second or two and not be as ...well, painful.
Labour contractions would be limited to say two hours and just be more like uncomfortable twinges.
Periods would last no more than two days, would be nothing more than light spotting and would be ache and pain free.
Headaches and migraines would last for no more than ten minutes and would be sorted with two paracetamol.
Breastfeeding would be pain and hassle free, milk flow would only happen once baby was latched on rather than going like a tsunami when it feels like it. Milk would be consistent with need rather than filling boobs up like water balloons.
Bodies would shrink back to pre baby size upon birth.

handsoffate · 28/04/2023 16:17

Retractable wings and a long forked tail would be handy for both commuting and for fun.
Multiple sets of teeth, a design rethink wouldn’t go amiss either.
I was going to say laying eggs, but I prefer the marsupial suggestion upthread.

handsoffate · 28/04/2023 16:21

Also increase the average strength and endurance of females to match that of males. Would solve a lot of issues…

unsync · 28/04/2023 16:49

No allergies or asthma or dermatitis. All of that auto immune shit can get to fuck as far as as I'm concerned. Flying would be useful too.

happyclam · 28/04/2023 16:52

Spines!! I'd just like a bendy straw please, none of these stupid discs

Monkeytapper · 28/04/2023 16:55

For men, a kangaroo type pouch to put their Willy and balls in so it’s not just hanging there, maybe with a protective layer so they’re not so dramatic if they get hit in their goolies.