Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

The best work advice you ever got

198 replies

SunsetBeauregarde · 27/04/2023 08:44

I’ve just come through a tricky couple of days at work, but got through it due to a mumsnet thread and some golden nuggets of advice I got from a brilliant manager in the past. I thought I’d pay forward the kindness I got on my thread and start a new one for the best advice you ever got at work:

Never begin a difficult conversation on the same day you realised the need for one.

Never enter a negotiation without a clear idea of the outcome you want.

Never ‘meet them half way’ - reduce your offer in gradually reducing increments, never more than 10% at a time.

Never make yourself a threat. Work with your opponent never against them. ‘Us’ is much easier to sell than ‘me vs you’

Make your opponent feel ahead of a problem, not behind it. They are more likely to offer a resolution if they feel like they’re creating a ‘near miss’. ‘Let’s work out how to stop this becoming a problem’ is much more motivating to come to the table than ‘this is a problem, what are you going to do about it?’

OP posts:
loafintheoven · 27/04/2023 08:53

What a great idea for a thread.

My best one is the "good news sandwich". If you have something difficult to deal with, start the conversation with a compliment or something positive, then tackle the difficult issue, then end with a positive (even if it's just "look forward to resolving this together").

ShirleyPhallus · 27/04/2023 08:55

In the worlds of Hamilton, “talk less, smile more”

morelippy · 27/04/2023 08:55

The only time you should look down on someone is while you're trying to help them up.

WhatWouldHopperDo · 27/04/2023 09:02

I think this has a name but can't remember! I like;

When you do xyz it has xyz consequences. I would like you to do abc instead.

I'm over simplifying it but hopefully you get the gist.

alongtimeagoandfaraway · 27/04/2023 09:02

Don’t assume you will win an argument by being right. You have to make the person you’re arguing with want to work with you.

lightsandtunnels · 27/04/2023 09:06

You are enough.
Don’t listen to the noise.

Invisimamma · 27/04/2023 09:07

Ask yourself 'is this really the hill I want to die on?' or choosing your battles.

Following as I start a new job soon and this thread could be helpful.

WinchSparkle80 · 27/04/2023 09:07

A very senior, very intimidating (so I thought) manager once asked me to do something within the first month of a new job. I was 19, eager to impress, but made an error.

I realised and confessed but obviously looked very worried. He called me into his office and asked was I ok? I said I was worried as I made a mistake…

He said “ Did someone die? is someone seriously injured?” I replied “No”
He said “ Well then, it’s not worth you worrying, it can always be fixed or explained, the company isn’t going to go bust”

I literally remember it every time I make an error. He is very highly regarded in my industry and see he has given same advice to others - thanks LinkedIn.

PinkFootstool · 27/04/2023 09:10

"Learn when to shut the fuck up". Said to me by a boss I absolutely respected. I had a terrible habit of cutting across people and piping up in Every Single Conversation.

It ties in with my chronic need to please and lack of self belief.

Shutting up can actually be very powerful.

Also:

ALWAYS take notes.

Get contentious or poor decisions sent to you by email, even if it's you writing to them asking them to confirm your understanding of the decision.

Watching racism / homophobia / bullying etc and saying or doing nothing makes you complicit and part of the problem. If you fail to act, expect to be on the wrong side of a valid complaint.

katmarie · 27/04/2023 09:21

When I first started work I had a veteran civil service manager who took a very green 18yo me under her wing and taught me how to be a basically functional employee, I will be forever grateful to her. Things she taught me:

Listen more than you talk.

Don't assume you know everything. Especially about people's personal lives.

Come with a solution not a problem

Try and find the answer yourself before you ask.

As I've got older those things have stayed relevant I think. I would add the following:

Know your value and don't settle for less.

Treat people with the respect they deserve.

Never set fire to yourself to keep the business warm.

SunsetBeauregarde · 27/04/2023 09:37

These are brilliant.

I'll add a personal one I've kept close my entire career:

'Stop trying to make yourself smaller all the time.' - said to me by a large 50 year old northern woman when I was in my early 20's.

I'm also northern, female and fat and I used to place my arms in weird ways and drop my shoulders to try and blend in with the army of gym bunny blokes and 20 something beautiful girls I worked with without realizing I did it. I also ALWAYS wore black to work and felt very self conscious most of the time so much so I kind of forgot thats how I felt and it just became normal. It took me until I was 30 but eventually I realised she actually gave me brilliant advice I should have taken a lot earlier. I had a lightbulb moment somehow where I realised my weight wasnt holding me back, my brain was. I started speaking up more, sitting up straight, wearing brighter clothes (this was a process of buying bits over time and daring to wear them, it took about a year) and felt so much better in myself.

I also noticed that people started treating me differently - I didn't change much about how I approached my job but just by feeling happier in my skin, people seemed to speak to me like an adult and assumed i was competent? Hard to explain.

Anyway, although I didn't take her advice when I was 24, I definitely should have.

OP posts:
SaveMeFromForearms · 27/04/2023 09:48

Build a team of people who are all brilliant at their own roles, even if that means surrounding yourself with people who are better than you.

Northernladdette · 27/04/2023 11:12

Never set yourself a target where you’re relying on others…..

Seasonofthewitch83 · 27/04/2023 11:52

'Dont just come with a problem, also come with a solution.'

No one likes a whiner.

AutumnLeaves5 · 27/04/2023 12:12

loafintheoven · 27/04/2023 08:53

What a great idea for a thread.

My best one is the "good news sandwich". If you have something difficult to deal with, start the conversation with a compliment or something positive, then tackle the difficult issue, then end with a positive (even if it's just "look forward to resolving this together").

See I know this as a sh*t sandwich and can see it coming a mile off. Any of the “good” feedback comes across as disingenuous and is quickly forgotten. If there’s an issue, deal with it.

Eileen101 · 27/04/2023 12:14

I love this thread. I'm about to take on a new role so paying attention!

I was told to "recruit someone for their work ethic, rather than knowledge" as knowledge can be taught.

"Never set yourself a target where you’re relying on others….. " from a pp above - I learnt this the hard way!

TheSaturdayAfternoonnessOfIt · 27/04/2023 12:18

Worst first.

Get your most difficult task(s) over with rather than putting them off.

Lifeisapeach · 27/04/2023 12:20

AutumnLeaves5 · 27/04/2023 12:12

See I know this as a sh*t sandwich and can see it coming a mile off. Any of the “good” feedback comes across as disingenuous and is quickly forgotten. If there’s an issue, deal with it.

Yeah I’m not a fan of the sandwich ones. Usually the hard message is lost in the good
so if you need to provide bad news to someone or constructive criticism it’s best just to get to the point.

WeWereInParis · 27/04/2023 12:21

See I know this as a sht sandwich and can see it coming a mile off. Any of the “good” feedback comes across as disingenuous and is quickly forgotten. If there’s an issue, deal with it.

I agree. I recently saw someone attempt this in an email to a more senior person, and they response they got back included "nice try, but the good news bad news sandwich doesn't work on me!" and the good news didn't get as much credit because it came across as a sneaky attempt to hide the bad.

Falifornia · 27/04/2023 12:22

From my late Dad: "Be kind to people on your way up, you might need them on your way down"

Sammysquiz · 27/04/2023 12:35

Don’t have a meeting without an agenda and a clear aim.

QuintanaRoo · 27/04/2023 12:38

Don’t put anything in an email you wouldn’t mind being read out in a tribunal.

ehb102 · 27/04/2023 12:38

Make someone feel safe first, establish mutual purpose and then address the issues. If you have no mutual purpose you are wasting breath.

QuintanaRoo · 27/04/2023 12:41

Never set fire to yourself to keep the business warm

love this!

KStockHERO · 27/04/2023 12:44

It's just a job.

Swipe left for the next trending thread