The best work advice you ever got

[SunsetBeauregarde]

I’ve just come through a tricky couple of days at work, but got through it due to a mumsnet thread and some golden nuggets of advice I got from a brilliant manager in the past. I thought I’d pay forward the kindness I got on my thread and start a new one for the best advice you ever got at work:

Never begin a difficult conversation on the same day you realised the need for one.

Never enter a negotiation without a clear idea of the outcome you want.

Never ‘meet them half way’ - reduce your offer in gradually reducing increments, never more than 10% at a time.

Never make yourself a threat. Work with your opponent never against them. ‘Us’ is much easier to sell than ‘me vs you’

Make your opponent feel ahead of a problem, not behind it. They are more likely to offer a resolution if they feel like they’re creating a ‘near miss’. ‘Let’s work out how to stop this becoming a problem’ is much more motivating to come to the table than ‘this is a problem, what are you going to do about it?’

Everything changes in a week. Said to me by a much older colleague when I was first starting out. She meant what seems like a really difficult situation today, will likely be much better by this time next week. The vast majority of the time she was right.

Keep your eyes open and your mouth shut

DGI

Don't get involved.

And definitely don't get involved in advocating for other staff members' gripes and complaints against the business (unless doing so is specifically part of your role, obviously). They are looking after No 1, so you do the same, otherwise it will not end well for you.

Love this! I have a habit of putting undue pressure on myself (I work in a very very busy government dept) and I'm regularly told, you can only do a days work in a day. And just as you were told, no-one is going to die. I should listen to this more!

If it's not written down it didn't happen (Healthcare).

Was going to say exactly the same thing! The good old shit sandwich!

My best one was I was told by a very wel meaning, and brilliant manager - “play the game. The only person you hurt if you don’t is you.” It’s true although I wish it wasn’t!

@MamskiBell also very true, there are only so many hours in a day. It definitely helps me when I go into overly anxious worry mode.

Never set fire to yourself to keep the business warm.

Wise advice. My favourite is:
You can't do too much for a good boss; and you'll never do enough for a bad one.

I’m not the loudest voice in a meeting, I take a bit of time to reflect.

however someone once told me to say something meaningful in every meeting (she talked for the sake of talking so not sure she listened to her own advice) and I try and do that in every meeting I’m in. Otherwise why am I there?

Always act as though a cctv camera is watching your every move while you are working.
If you keep this in mind your less likely to become complacent

Also don’t do unpaid overtime on a regular basis as it then becomes expected and part of your ‘job’

Manage your own role and career

Look for the small easy improvements no one else is doing and do them as a side of desk activity. You build a reputation for doing this.

Build solid friendly 1-2-1 relationships with as many people in your work world as you can. And use these to keep your ear to the ground, compare notes.

Don't suffer under a crap manager move to a new role instead.

Never burn your bridges

Bite your tongue while you count to three and decide if you really need to use it

Never ever say anything compromising out loud

And definitely don't put it in writing

Check the tubes aren’t caught under the bed.

Observe your team mates. They all fill various roles.

Only then fit the role that's missing: and only then if it's necessary and beneficial to YOUR career.

Another one: I'm pretty cynical as a person. But only behind closed doors at home. One of my team mates is cynical too. And I can tell you that it's pretty depressing listening to her cynicism and constant moaning about work. So don't be half empty, be half full. Even though we all know the problems at work etc etc. Just makes you sound negative

'if you can't get out of it, get into it' and 'be the positive person in the room'.

Always start a new job with a full set of grandparents.

I was told at 19 people get a job at the council for life, you need to spread your wings it's not for you,( said to my by a die hard due to retire boss with a fag on the go) finally realised 3 years later it was groundhog day, got out changed careers and never looked back still bump into some that are still there over 25 years later

I used to work in a big team of relatively young women.

We'd go in to work and share too much about our life outside of work.

I then got promoted to manage this big team.

I wanted to still be one of them but suddenly realised that a few were taking advantage of me as I was their friend/drinking buddy.

A director suggest I needed to take a slight step back from them in order that I could gain "respect".

I did this. It was hard to start with and some of the team probably hated me for it, but it made it easier in the long run!

Don't ask permission to do something if you do not need to.

Same. I refer to this as eating the frog. If you eat the frog first thing it's out of the way and you can get on with your day.

‘If something happened to you, your job would be advertised next week’.

Told to me during a stressful period once, and gave me some perspective on the situation.

A TV reference which shows my age, but I always say this to myself in the voice of Yvonne Stuart-Hargreaves from Hi-de-Hi.

'Don't get involved, Barry'

She pronounced the 'volve' as in 'vole'.