The best work advice you ever got

[SunsetBeauregarde]

I’ve just come through a tricky couple of days at work, but got through it due to a mumsnet thread and some golden nuggets of advice I got from a brilliant manager in the past. I thought I’d pay forward the kindness I got on my thread and start a new one for the best advice you ever got at work:

Never begin a difficult conversation on the same day you realised the need for one.

Never enter a negotiation without a clear idea of the outcome you want.

Never ‘meet them half way’ - reduce your offer in gradually reducing increments, never more than 10% at a time.

Never make yourself a threat. Work with your opponent never against them. ‘Us’ is much easier to sell than ‘me vs you’

Make your opponent feel ahead of a problem, not behind it. They are more likely to offer a resolution if they feel like they’re creating a ‘near miss’. ‘Let’s work out how to stop this becoming a problem’ is much more motivating to come to the table than ‘this is a problem, what are you going to do about it?’

Spend your first year in a role learning it and your next year planning your progression. From a dear friend who has done very well in his career.

Learn to read upside down.
Always do the stuff you hate or dislike the most first
Remain neutral like Switzerland in WW2, you seem great but underneath it’s all about you.

I disagree with the no one looks back at their job on their death bed. Looking back as well as family and friends I would have work there. I worked for a few years sorting out the accommodation needs for students with disabilities at a University as a housing officer. I also worked as a librarian for many years, that was my actual career. We had such a laugh and so many wonderful colleagues and very odd occurrences.

Dont judge a book by its cover.
1 manager looked ideal on paper, experienced, good work ethic, successful team........................with no idea of how to manage people without threats/ intimidation.
2nd manager fresh out of graduate scheme , unproven record but masses of emotional intelligence build a highly effective and supportive team by actually listening and using leeway which built trust and loyalty.

It's just a job.
Your job will be advertised in the same newspaper as your obituary.

Two that have probably be shared in different words already that I live by:

be the leader you want to follow (this counts even if you’re not in mgt/leadership, you can still role model what behaviours you would like to see)

be generous with your time, experience and knowledge

The second one makes such a difference to developing others, particularly more junior colleagues, and supporting new team members. I’ve joined a team recently full of people who are just too busy to sit down and spend time with me. It’s isolating and I think, driven by insecurity, as even very senior people can make time when they need to, and I’ve appreciated and benefitted from that in the past and try to pay it forward now.

That does leads me onto another one - always finish meetings with colleagues on time and if you’ve covered the business you need to, finish early and free up some time for them. It’s a sign of respect and discipline imo!

I think "be the boss you want to have " is a good one

I think the point about looking back on your death bed is interesting - I interpret it as you’ll never think I wish I’d spent more hours in the office (working into the evening instead of being with friends and family) rather than you won’t think of work at all. I think if I’d regularly worked til 9pm and missed many bedtimes for the kids over the years I definitely would regret that. So it’s more about amount of or excessive time spent working vs with family or friends rather than just work vs life.

It gives you 4 days off for “funerals”😂

In meetings, before speaking, check

• does this need saying?
• does this need saying now?
• does this need saying now, by me?

If everyone followed this, meetings would be much more focused!

4 grandparents and a full compliment of house pets that are 'part of the family'.

A previous boss told me to 'eat the frog' - meaning if you have a big list of things to do, do the biggest or hardest first. That way your day will only ever get better or easier.

😂😂😂

You have two eyes, two ears, one mouth.
Use them in that proportion and you're unlikely to put your foot in it.

Never take decisions and enact them on a Friday afternoon.

In my experience, eating the frog only encourages five giant cane toads to leap onto your desk just as you've made a post frog coffee and started to think about tackling your first tadpole.

But I do also believe that a deep dive inherently means coming across some absolutely horrific kaiju/sea monsters/ancient spirits/aliens lurking in the abyss that were best left undisturbed for another thousand years unless you're already equipped with a mechabot carrying a magnesium flame thrower, a couple of compact nuclear devices, full exorcism kit and preferably piloted by Admiral James Tiberius Kirk for good measure.

Great advice already. A few things from my career that made a dfference:

• Listen with an open mind, you might even change it
• Take control and earn your reputation at work, whatever you want that to be, don't just let it happen by default
• Be nice, even when you don't feel it , you always get more from people if you're nice (from a solicitor advising on disciplinary investigations)
• Do the right thing, even if it's hard (from an HR Director boss)
• Help more junior staff develop their careers, it feels good - and they might be your boss one day.
• Say thank you when it's deserved and give credit when it's due

I also like "bad planning on your part doesn't constitute a crisis on mine" but have never been brave enough to actually say it!

Very much this - and you may find yourself judged poorly on "reduced performance" which was over your 100% anyway and for which you are not rewarded. 🌹

Haha this one made me laugh. Great thread. Some really useful words of wisdom.

Don't write anything in an email you wouldn't say to the person's face. Emails can be forwarded with the whole trail.

Start every day by doing the thing you are least looking forward to. Once you've tackled it the rest of the day is lighter

My advice (and this is something I say to trainee solicitors all the time but I think it probably applies more broadly) is that in the course of career you will at some point seriously fuck something up- give the wrong advice, send the document to the wrong person, whatever it may be- and the thing that will make the difference then is how you address the mistake. DO NOT cover it up, however desperate you feel. The right thing to do is always to speak up and tell the partner (or, if you are a partner, the partner who deals with this stuff). It is almost certainly less bad than you think and, even if not, there is insurance. It will ultimately be fine, whereas a cover-up could end your career.

If something goes wrong for a client:

1. Fix it
2. Discuss where it went wrong (and own it, if it was down to you)
3. Make sure it doesn't happen again

All too often, people prioritise finding someone to blame/arse covering.

So true. I realised that -
Just because I'm good at something, doesn't mean it's good for me.

To keep quiet

Whatever task you're given, no matter how mundane, whatever you see that needs doing (loading the copier, assisting someone), just do it and think, "it all pays the same", to maintain a good attitute and keep you feeling happier in the work place.

High tide raises all boats

I was looking for a job when I found this one - very helpful as I see my position going overseas and try not to panic

A colleague recently said to me 'think about what your role is in the meeting before contributing'.

It's helped me with my compulsion to 'add value' to the conversation. When maybe I'm there to listen and learn.