The realities of not being able to drive - anyone else?

[LohnJ]

I failed my driving test for the 9th time yesterday and I have come to the decision that I can no longer put myself under this amount of pressure and just invest my time/effort into something else like my career. Yes I was learning in automatic so didn’t make a difference to me. Hoping driverless cars make an appearance soon!

Is anyone else in this situation? Do you not drive because of choice/don’t have a license - if so, how do you get around? Are you picky about where you live? My rental agreement is coming to an end soon so I will be looking at living somewhere with good public transport (where I live currently has an ok transport network - works for my commute). Thanks.

I'm epileptic so can't drive. It's very unlikely I will ever be able to. It's incredibly frustrating/limiting in some ways and not something I think people who can drive consider.

I live close to a main line train station and would never consider living somewhere really rural/with poor links as it would just limit me too much. I also am very lucky to have a husband/parents/brother who make an effort to take me places or come visit me.

Worse part of it is the mum guilt, I have an adventurous toddler and I hate thinking he might miss out on some activities because his mum can't drive.

I hated trying to learn to drive. I'm very anxious, and struggle to judge speed/distance (I'm wary crossing roads for this reason, and try to use pedestrian crossings! I was terrified of junctions and roundabouts) It's just not for me.

I used to find not being able to go and get a big shop at once a pain, but I now order it in. My 3 DC do struggle with it a bit. They'd love mum to be able to drive them places. Other family members drive, though.

I'd rather take public transport than be a panicky or unsafe driver. I'm also a recovering alcoholic, and the idea that I could have ever possibly got behind a wheel under the influence in the past and put people at risk terrifies me. Sometimes it's a pain not having a car, but feel it's been the best option for me all round. Money wise, as well.

@Merrow if you don't mind me asking, is your spatial awareness really bad? Mine isn't great and it did make learning harder, but practice did make it easier to get to grips with (except parallel parking, gah!). Seems to run in the family, my sister says hers is lousy and she's been driving since the 70s ...

@Catsmere spacial awareness is probably the wrong term - I do have awful spacial awareness, but it's really the movement of objects through space that makes driving impossible! I failed five times for hesitation at a junction because I just didn't know if a car on the road I was turning into was far enough away / traveling at a speed that meant it was safe to pull out. The driving test person said I should just leave enough room as if I was crossing the road on foot, but I also really struggle with crossing roads! There was also a test where they had to use the emergency controls because I thought I could change lanes but actually the car was speeding up to block me in. I found the actual maneuvering of the car pretty easy, it is just those pesky other cars on the road that caused me problems.

@Merrow oh, I see. That is hard. Thanks for explaining!

My brother plonked me in his car for a lesson. My God. The car was an Audi. Never had a lesson before and thought you had to 'floor' the pedal and whoosh! Off we went!

Luckily for humankind (and animals etc), Medically, I would not be allowed to drive (suffer from Narcolepsy), but also could not afford car, insurance and parking. Luckily I am served by four buses which all stop at a tube station. We have two tube stations as well, a doctor and dentist near by and around 4 hospitals too.

Sure it is a shame I cannot just get out and drive to wherever I fancy, but in reality I am very happy getting around on public transport.

As my username implies I am not allowed to drive, but that hasn't always been the case. I learned to drive aged 33 and passed second time. I had vision in one eye then.
Dince then my sight has deteriorated further.
I have always lived in towns on the periphery of a large city where public transport is good. Fortunately I was married to a driver when my children were young so we had holidays without issue. After I stopped driving we had a tandem so I could transport my youngest around until they were old enough to cycle safely on roads by themselves. I walked or cycled to work until my loss of sight made it unsafe to do so.
I have been widowed 15 years and in the last five years my adult children have left home. I downsized my house two years ago and ensured I moved to somewhere with great public transport. I don't miss driving at all. I really like going on a bus ride through the fabulous countryside nearby. I go on holiday by public transport, mostly in the UK.

I'm in London so it's not an issue for me personally. However when DD went off to Uni and I travelled on the train with her to help with her things, I did feel bad that I couldn't just drive her up with her stuff in the boot, like other parents. In the summer holidays she had to beg extra storage space from friends and so on, as we had no way of getting her stuff back home and back to there a few weeks later. She chose a Uni far away and in a somewhat rural area so it's a trek. Likewise when she comes home for other holidays, I can never just go and pick her up. So it would have been nice to be able to drive for that.

That being said, I've never had a car so it's a bit of a case of you don't miss what you never had. For a while I had a partner who drove and anywhere we went in London took longer by car than by tube! It costs so much to run a car that it wouldn't really be worth it for me at this stage. I use a combination of public transport and ubers when necessary.

After years of lessons my sister gave up learning to drive.
She has deliberately chosen to live a five minute walk from a mainline train station.
Overall I don't think she's too upset that she doesn't drive.

@Merrow it sounds as if you have a depth vision problem.

Thanks @mathanxiety, that does look like it fits (I also frequently walk into door frames, much to the amusement of my family). Apparently one of the exercises that will help is rolling my eyes, so there's a good excuse to have in my back pocket