How the hell do I do everything now I no longer WFH

[Persuaderama]

I’m a single parent, my husband left a month before lock down so all my single parenting was done whilst, at first fully WFH and then WFH 3 days a week.

Now my employer has decided we have to be in the office 3 days a week ‘for office culture’ (don’t get me started on office culture) and I’m really struggling to keep on top of the day-to-day jobs.

I work quite a senior level role and I come home exhausted and then have to ferry to hobbies/ tidy/ cook/ wash/ do bedtime, all in the space of a few hours before I fall into bed. When I WFH I could do the little jobs throughout the day - have the dinner cooking in oven, put the bins out on a break etc etc - and I was thinking I was bossing single mum life! Not so much now…..

Plus work feels more stressful as I’m losing 2 hours a day to commute time and the noise of a busy office just isn’t conducive to working for me. So I’m getting less done.

Any tips on how to work in an office as a single parent and have an organised life outside…..

I second the batch cooking, and you can build on the menu each weekend and have a stash. There are some great books that do seven meals in an hour ect! So tough on you op doing it alone and you are new to this routine too. People can be harsh! I would say have another chat with your boss with a few suggestions in mind to appear as flexible as possible! You might get a nice surprise!

I work from home and not ALL of us take the piss. Infact I am better able to concentrate at home. Nor do I do housework, childcare or cook dinner in my working hours.

I think you are missing the point, I can throw on a load of washing, hoover the floor, sort laundry, prepare a dinner ALL in the time it take me to commute.

In my opinion, anyone who actually want to go work in an office are either a young person in their 20's needing interaction with like minded people OR middle managment terrified they will have nothing to do or nobody to micromanage if people stay working from home.

The majority of people who work from home, do actually work hard and don't want to mind their kids whilst working. They just need extra flexibility around the working day. We were all slaves before to this whole idea that ones job has to be ones life.

Also to add, I don't have young children so that is not why I am pro working from home.

Honestly I couldn’t do it. When my old company tried the same, approx 40% of the team had left within six months to work more remote jobs. I’m one of them and now in the office once a month. Have excellent office culture, get on great with my team but also have 2.5 hours back from not commuting and my whole lunch to get things done.

Have nearly read the whole thread but didn’t see our usual approach which is cold food, usually cereal/toast/crumpets, in the evenings because DC have a hot lunch. No need for more than one hot meal a day imo. Saves a load of time and DC love it.

OP being a senior you’re in a strong bargaining position.

Ask your employer to be more flexible and return to 2 days in the office or even 1 day.

Also highlight that you find yourself being more productive from home etc etc.

If they refuse then ask to negotiate the days (I assume is fixed days so everyone is in at the same time) but that may not work for everyone.

And although you love your job, your life and priorities have to come first, so if they don’t budge start looking elsewhere.

Lastly for the time being I’d recommend meal prepping services (not HelloFresh or gousto, there are many that bring the food cooked you just need to reheat) and they come in at reasonable prices. Crockpot (slow cook) some meals so it’s ready by the time you’re back home and maybe get a cleaner to come in on wed or thur when you’re out so you come home to a clean home. That will give you some sanity in the mean time.

Some people on here too busy working to go for a pee but manage to post on here all day 🤣

It's really tough getting back into the office. I go in 2 days a week, it's a long commute and it really takes it out of me.

I think the best thing you can do it for those 3 days, accept that you can't get the little jobs done and be as prepared as you can. So have 3 meals ready, perhaps whatever you cook at the weekend, do extra portions and freeze, so that you always have something to hand.

I also find having my work clothes ready helps as it's one less thing to think about.

Maybe then decide which jobs are causing you the most stress, or taking up the most time. If it's cleaning, could you afford a cleaner perhaps? Could you come to an arrangement with another parent re clubs, so that you take it in turns to take the children? Although I know it's nice to stay and watch, depending on the type of hobby.

Would there be scope to ask for 3 days one week and 2 the next to take the edge off the office working? Or could you look at compressed hours, so you work 5 days worth of hours over 4 days and that would give you a day free to get stuff done?

There might be an element of getting back in the swing of things and used to the office. I used to not look forward to it, but I quite like it now, however my DD is older and it's easier.

Good luck, I hope things seem easier soon.

Wonder if work would cover a cleaner if you asked?

Things I have done while working from home today

• call at 7.30 with teams in Asia
• a mentoring session with a junior colleague based in another UK city
• hosted a virtual event for 500 people globally
• put a wash on
• attended two senior leadership meetings
• will end my day with a call with a colleague in LA

yeah big old skiver here!

OP I’m a single parent to 2 DC P
primary age, 1 with SEN. Also work in a senior position pre covid was in 5 days a week not do 3.

I hope this doesn’t sound patronising but I think a lot of this is about making the mindset shift to what it means to being a single parent. Unfortunately it does mean life is just a lot harder and generally you are a lot more knackered. Maintaining a career also more difficult ( depending how much ex is involved).

Getting help if you can afford it definitely helps ( or finding a job where you permanently wfh I guess). Accepting that work days if you don’t have help tea might just be something very simple, homework can’t always get done and sometimes the washing piles up and that’s what you spend the weekend doing. But the reality for a lot of single parents ( certainly the ones I know and particularly where there is no wider family help) is that it’s quite hard and relentless and you rarely feel fully on top or that you get a break.

Good luck - am sure you can work this out.

When I was working full time, lone parent with 3 at home.

I did a lot of extra cooking. So Sunday for example a chicken much bigger than we needed. Monday left overs as chicken pasta or with rice. The rest deboned and frozen separately.
same with lasagne made more than needed and froze the rest.

Tjese frozen left overs meant on days I was basically reheating I could do something else.

A load of washing alternative nights and weekend bedding.

Tje dc’s were also encouraged to clean up after themselves

Bathroom cleaned after it was used. The steam made things a lot easier. Would also have up shirts in there to save ironing.

On e you get your rhythm you will do it with ease. Internet shopping is also a massive time saver. So is hanging a full set of uniform/clothes together wjen putting away. I’d also peg onto the hanger socks, and knickers/bras ocer the hook.

This was my immediate thought as well. WFH actually means work for your company, not housework, cooking, cleaning etc.

Do you WFH?

Firstly apologies if this has already been suggested, I've not read everyones responses.

I, like you, have gone from a full working week in the office to WFH with 2 days in the office with an hour commute at each end.
I would speak to your line manager, explain that your home circumstances have changed and what was possible before the pandemic, no longer is. Could you do compressed hours, 5 days over 4 and only go into the office 2 days a week? That would leave you a day clear to do other things.

I think the biggie here is some jobs work well from home, (my H has worked from home for 23 years (with client visits out as well ) and some jobs do not work so well, some people are diligent and motivated, others not so much so- people tend to take it personally if you say it isn't a good idea for everyone because they are diligent and hardworking but the fact is not everyone is if left to their own devices and these aspects need to be kept on top of- I find where it hasn't worked so well is some younger people , particularly in jobs they don't much like or there is little supervision or monitoring and ones where people have young children and are trying to save on childcare costs by cutting after school care etc.

More to the point OP, with that level of seniority I would just ask if you can keep it at 2

You clearly know nothing at all about wfh. But you are probably green with envy of those of us that do it.

My day - I sat in on and participated in meetings whilst still doing other work in the background , emails etc, from 8am until 10.45am without once moving from my desk. At 11am after getting up for a quick wee and a grabbing a coffee, I did a presentation for a hour. Then worked on various other stuff until1.15pm when I decided to have lunch. I'll be back to work at 2.15pm and solidly working until probably 6pm.

I get very well paid for working hard but I do work more hours than I am paid for. Yes there are skivers but it will not last for them. So less of the sweeping generalization!

Like many others, I WFH two days a week. This saves me the commute time (which means I usually end up working longer) and also saves me money on childcare as I don’t need to use breakfast and after school clubs.

I’m as productive when I am WFH if not more so. No one comes into my office and starts chatting or interrupts me when I am working.

Yesterday when I was in the office, two colleagues were complaining about how busy they are and they don’t even have time to go to the toilet. They spent 15 minutes standing by the photocopier having this conversation which disproves that pretty neatly.

This is what I was wondering about too.

We know that management wanting people to come back into the office for a set amount of time doesn't mean that's what will eventually end up happening. I think it's worth anyone in OPs position thinking critically about whether they're actually likely to have to do it. Obviously @Persuaderama will have a much better idea of this than any of us.

I cant believe the knocking WFH still continues. So many bootlickers.

(Not against chatting in the workplace or by the photocopier in general, only when done so by people who claim they can’t wee because they’re so busy!)

What I also think it represents is a corporate, societal backlash in a way. When people WFH they are more empowered away from the standard "corporate" model, have more personal power over their own situation etc. Society has been conditioned (on the whole) to fit the corporate model for decades. It is in many ways a model of disempowerment for your average worker - work to earn money for "the man", give away your time and life to do so, don't step out of line for fear of losing your job etc, limiting your agency and creativity. When you WFH you can take a fresh look at this in some ways

I think this is a really interesting point @greenlychee . This is a huge change that's happened in a very short time. Granted it didn't come from nowhere, there were millions of people doing at least some wfh in February 2020, but the sort of movement we've had since then normally takes much longer to come about.

There are of course winners and losers, as there are from every big societal shift. And so you'd expect people to want to defend their own selfish interests, whether that's being able to avoid commuting due to wfh or wanting other people in work so it can fulfil a social function for you. But some of the criticism we've seen seems to go beyond that. Corporate societal backlash might be a good explanation for it.

I am a single parent of a 4 and a half year old and I work in an office full time, 9-5pm. The only way I have been able to do things is when my daughter is asleep or when she is at her dads. I also try and wake up at least 45 mins earlier than she does to re-load the washing machine / dishwasher / prepare her breakfast / wash / make a coffee and just generally make sure I am ready so I can focus on getting her ready for school etc

Cooking meals, I would suggest prepping breakfast, lunch and as much as you can for dinner, the night before and leaving it in the fridge.

Does your child have another parent she goes to? For me, all the big things, like putting the washing away, deep cleaning the bathroom and kitchen etc are all done when she is with her father because while she is in easy child, sometimes her ‘helping’ me is not quite that!

It does get easier, and you will find your rhythm - you just need to find what works for you and it will all click into place.

You could condense your hours.

can You batch cook so on your office days you just reheat something, or have easy dinners. If there’s only 2 of you I can’t see that much laundry, mess etc would pile especially if you’re out at school/work. Maybe reduce a club or two as well.