How the hell do I do everything now I no longer WFH

[Persuaderama]

I’m a single parent, my husband left a month before lock down so all my single parenting was done whilst, at first fully WFH and then WFH 3 days a week.

Now my employer has decided we have to be in the office 3 days a week ‘for office culture’ (don’t get me started on office culture) and I’m really struggling to keep on top of the day-to-day jobs.

I work quite a senior level role and I come home exhausted and then have to ferry to hobbies/ tidy/ cook/ wash/ do bedtime, all in the space of a few hours before I fall into bed. When I WFH I could do the little jobs throughout the day - have the dinner cooking in oven, put the bins out on a break etc etc - and I was thinking I was bossing single mum life! Not so much now…..

Plus work feels more stressful as I’m losing 2 hours a day to commute time and the noise of a busy office just isn’t conducive to working for me. So I’m getting less done.

Any tips on how to work in an office as a single parent and have an organised life outside…..

Look for a new job that is fully remote or only require one day in the office every week.

If your job could be done remotely before there is no justification for you to be there simply because of ''office culture''.

My employer can see what I'm doing like the PP, I'm more productive on wfh days as there aren't any distractions.

Really old fashioned view, just like your comment on the other thread about the woman getting the morning after pill chastising her for having condoms and saying she should have preemptively gone on the pill if she was intending to have sex with her new boyfriend! Not trying to find you on other threads, it's just the name stuck as it was an unusual comment!

Are you my employer?! 😆My work - smallish local company of about 75 staff - are absolutely adamant that everyone work in the office 5 days a week! My boss is a bit of a slave driver but also very suspicious - I reckon he's convinced that everyone would just take the piss if working from home! We work rigid hours - 9 to 5.30 with an hour unpaid dinner break and no other breaks are encouraged - obviously you can get up and make a coffee but basically they want people at desks, actually working, for the 37.5 hours a week we're paid for!! It astounds me how many people on here say they just have to do a specific amount of work rather than a set number of hours - and that those employers don't want to cut costs by just making these jobs part time!
I can't begin to imagine how much easier life would be if I could even work from home one day a week - so OP although you think it's going to be tough, I actually envy you for only having to go in 3 days a week!
Missing the point of your questions, I know...

For meals, batch cook and freeze. See the batch cook lady on you tube.
Buy an airfryer. Save time and money.
Get uniforms ironed and organised on Sunday mornings.
Do laundry once a week, there is only 2 of you.
Shop online.
Accept your limitations. Three days is not a lot and you can wash up once a day, there are only 2 of you.
It gets easier, I was a single parent of 2 and worked full time. I realised I was doing it all anyway and just had to organise my time and not sweat the small stuff.

god its so frustrating when they want you in the office when you know yourself you are more productive at work. I love wfh, I get on top of my housework and like you said save on the commute. I always get all my work done and find the office distracting. I am 2 days at home and 2 days in the office. I wish I was fully remote though, it’s a shame employers aren’t focusing on individually people’s preferences. When I am in the office though, I have washing on a timer, I do meals either in the slow cooker or use meals I’ve batched cooked from the freezer so that’s quicker with kids dinner. Other than that, I try and utilise my wfh days. I’m fortunate that it is broken up so in the office Mondays and Thursdays. Good luck! X

As a matter of interest have salaries been cut as a result of WFH, as well as the time gain there is also a potential financial gain with not paying rail/petrol costs. I guess many now also don’t have the childcare fees that they incurred whilst in the office for wraparound care as now around to pick up and drop off?

Outsource, outsource, outsource!
Find someone who will come home for a few hours a week, get the laundry done and clean the house. A friend of mine had someone pick her boys up from school everyday, bring them home, and do housework for the two-three hours before she herself reached home. She came to a clean house, and she batch cooked over the weekend.

Also, one really important thing - be kind to yourself. If you put a ready meal on the table two nights a week, its not the end of the world. If the house isnt sparkling, big deal. Mom guilt kills us most of the time.

Flexible working request... you could do your work at home before so why not now? I can't stand employers who have no understanding about how wfh helps single parents in particular (mine doesn't). It helps our stress levels and mental health so much, just takes some pressure off and our jobs still get done!

@LolaSmilesIt's 25 years since I last had a job so I'm not claiming any workaholic martyr status. However, I am absolutely sick of ringing up businesses and finding that I'm talking to someone WFH who is also dealing with dogs, toddlers, deliveries etc and is talking on their mobile with a shit signal. That's my experience of WFH.
They are problems of companies not managing working from home appropriately though, not a problem of home working arrangements.

The idea that people in Company A are slacking, should be in the office because some people at Company B are annoyed that staff at Company A can hang the washing out on their lunch break is silly.

Equally silly would be the logic that WFH is awful because when I spoke to some people in some teams in some companies, those companies weren't running WFH well. It's fairly silly to dismiss WFH as an arrangement because some call handlers weren't set up to WFH effectively.

Dont know if it’s already been said, not reading it all - make a flexible working request

To boomer who moaned about people wfh - shut up. Is it hard for you to hear background noise? It’s worse in an office. Go away.

Exactly.

This is how it gets ruined for the rest of us, frankly.

I have to respond to this. Did you realise that I haven't had a job for over 20 years, and that this was my choice? I couldn't possibly be less jealous of people with jobs, either WFH or otherwise. I have no desire to have a job. It would get in the way of all the other things I like doing.

It would also be true to say that I have had poor service every single time I've rung up people (utilities, broadband, the Council, newspaper subscriptions etc) since Covid. I can't think of one single instance of 'normal regular good service', other than that which is delivered face to face.

@Segway16 did you mean me with your 'boomer' comment? If so, you are sadly mistaken as I'm not old enough to be a 'boomer'.

Anyway, I suppose it doesn't help that I associate WFH with lockdown, which was arguably an even worse and more damaging policy than Brexit. And that's saying something.

Public sector salaries have been cut in real terms for years through not keeping up with inflation.

In sorry im not seeing how its so hard to work only 3 days with one older child. Got 3 under 2s and a 13 and work 4 days. I pre make meals for the days I'm not home, chores are done on the days I am home washing,housework etc. Only dishes and a quick vacuum are done the days I work as I like to take the kids on evening walks or whatever before bed

Quite the opposite , when I started WFH I got an allowance she nice I’m using my electricity , internet and often supplies . You also sueca lot more energy in winter specialty .

That’s a very poor mentality . I’m a team leader and as long as the targets are met I do not care if my team is juggling , multitasking or taking breaks . For me happy employees work better so those who want to wfh since covid are still at home and those who prefer the office are in the office .

I do have to disagree with this point. In the office - how many cups of coffee/tea do people make were they end up chatting to a colleague or meetings run over because people are having a gab. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy the mix of office/home working but I’m so much more productive at home and still manage to keep my washing on track.

OP the alternative days sound like a good option until you can get a more flexible arrangement - good luck

I think bosses are wising up now to people who 'wfh' as they seem able to keep on top of housework/take kids to and from school/walk dog/get dinner cooked etc etc too many people taking the mick are ruinng it for those that are actually working and not just using it do they don't have to pay for childcare etc

Why do you have to solve it and not your employer? Speak to HR

How do you think all the people who DON’T work from home manage?
They do what they can, don’t worry about whether the house looks like a show- home and still manage to ferry their kids to whatever it is they simply HAVE to do.
Lots of people have an hour’s commute each way, and office noise… well I guess it depends on what your industry is. And yes, they flop into bed , exhausted, at the end of each day. It’s called ‘Life’.
I apologise if I sound a bit terse… but really, the majority of people just manage to get on with it.

In answer to those who hate people that WFH (because they’re envious I assume) my work couldn’t give a shit if I do jobs around the house during the working day. I am an adult with a very senior role, I do that role and I do it well. No-one monitors my time. In fact they encourage us to do things such as go for walks to break up the day.

I've WFH for over 2 decades, so not coming at this from a bashing angle.
But as you are senior, you no doubt are accustomed to delegating, & have the cashflow to outsource the drugery.
So why are you not outsourcing the lot of it?
Hire a cleaner & oddjob/garden person - hire a housekeeper if you want to.
How has this not occurred to you before now?

If you’re in a “senior role” can you afford to pay not to have to do the jobs you like the least? ie hire a cleaner/housekeeper to do cleaning and laundry?

😂
HR is her employer.
HR is not there to help staff sort out their work/life balance. Their sole concern is protecting the company's interest, & ensuring nobody falls foul of employment law.

OP was hired on a 5 days in the office basis. Lockdown changed that, & the new working week is now hybrid. As OP wants to keep her job, she'd be wise not to make a fool of herself by advertising what would be perceived as an inability to cope. She is senior, & a mother (note mother, not parent - men don't get viewed the same way) - best not to jeopardise career progression by crying to HR.