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Original poster

Easter Cheeky Fuckery.

228 replies

Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 10:16

NC for this as very outing ..

My brother, sister in law, self and DH hired a big beautiful country house for Easter . We invited our 5 kids and their husbands /wives /partners . Along with my younger brother and his wife.

We also had 3 other siblings from nearby for lunch with their partners and kids.

There were 15 for supper Fri night
16 Saturday night
17 for Roast on Sunday.

Little bro arrived first and nabbed the biggest bedroom. The only one with an ensuite.

At NO POINT did either of them lift a finger . They didn't make a cup of tea. Peel a potato or bring any contribution.
Nor did they offer to contribute to the cost. (Which we wouldn't have expected ). They literally sat on the sofa and watched every single family member play their part . Meals for that amount is a group effort.

At each meal they were the first to sit down and help themselves. Eat before anyone else was sat down and got up and left the dining table before others had finished (or barely started)

We are clearing up the house this morning in ready for 11am exit.. yet again they have arrived to eat breakfast.. late risers , leisurely shower while the other 10 people run around doing food and laying out a beautiful buffet breakfast.
Which they again were first to help themselves to..

This has tipped my big brother (supported by me) over the top. Exploded at them asking why they thought everyone was there to wait on them hand and foot . (This was done away from the others just us siblings.)

Apparently SIL is depressed and suffering from anxiety. (Didn't seem to prevent her sitting in the sunshine laughing and joking whilst knocking back 2 bottles of wine -they didn't buy and smoking all day)
'Little Brother doesn't know how to cook.' (No one asked him to. But he is not so ignorant that he doesn't know how to peel a carrot or offer to make a cup of tea)

Best of all.. 'You invited us on holiday' so we are having a holiday. We need the rest ..

Honestly . I need to know. How on earth can people behave like this ? They appear to have absolutely no guilt or sense of humility .

Just an overwhelming sense of entitlement.

I've just asked them to strip their bed and leave the sheets in the laundry. This has caused my SIL to declare 'that's what these places have cleaners to do' pack their bags and drive off without saying goodbye.

The 10 people remaining are actually so gobsmacked by such world class cheeky fuckery that they have decided to just put it in the bank of funny tales for the future. Whilst db sil self and DH want to know how people like this actually operate through their day to day lives.

OP posts:
Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 19:36

NotQuiteHere · 10/04/2023 19:29

It was clearly too much work for you. Was it worth it?

No you are missing the entire point !
It was far from too much work.. it was shared by many .. except the people who had the greatest use contributed NOTHING. Not a cup of tea not a peeled potato..

Imagine everyone hosting a huge family party and EVERYONE chipping in in some way .. even if it's just taking the trash out .. suggesting a movie, .. laying the table ..

OP posts:
HipHipWhoRay · 10/04/2023 19:41

Ah OP, I get it. Also have a very large family and sometimes it catches you by suprise when you realise something blindingly obvious about them but hadn’t clocked it before . My husband is quite astute at noticing thing I hadn’t registered. You’ll work it through but as you say, new boundaries.

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 19:44

He got exploded at for not suggesting a movie. If only he'd known them he could've uttered the words, "anyone fancy Meet the Fockers" and you could've all been spared this aggro. Fucking hell 🤣🤣

sunglassesonthetable · 10/04/2023 19:46

He got exploded at for not suggesting a movie.

Well, 3 days of piss taking. But you seem to have an axe to grind so call it that sounds f you want. 😉

Hawkins003 · 10/04/2023 19:52

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 19:44

He got exploded at for not suggesting a movie. If only he'd known them he could've uttered the words, "anyone fancy Meet the Fockers" and you could've all been spared this aggro. Fucking hell 🤣🤣

Then the response would be yea, you are the fockers

Mayflier · 10/04/2023 19:52

I know that MN is full of complicated families with No contact /marginal contact but that is just not us.. I speak to LB every couple of weeks

It is a bit odd that it's taken you until your 60s to discover this about your brother and his wife of 30+ years. But you know it now and it sounds like everyone else in the family does too given that they're asking to get together again without him. Your family is as complicated as everyone else's.

Hawkins003 · 10/04/2023 19:53

Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 19:24

No that is wrong. !

I didn't NEED them to offer but absolutely would have loved them to wander into the kitchen at some point and say ' is there anything we can help with' !!

Show quote history

Excatly, it's the principle of offering to help and try to be part of the family, rather than just everyone else being their "staff"

Rhondaa · 10/04/2023 19:55

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 19:44

He got exploded at for not suggesting a movie. If only he'd known them he could've uttered the words, "anyone fancy Meet the Fockers" and you could've all been spared this aggro. Fucking hell 🤣🤣

Grin

Even ops CAPS are shouty I wonder if irl her younger db and his wife <with 'apparently' mh problems> are just a bit intimidated by her and kept out of the kitchen because of this.

Disclaimer they were rude, they are cf they should have peeled a spud and picked a film. This is just one of the many mn tales though where I'd love to hear the other side.

inshitsville · 10/04/2023 19:57

😳

Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 19:58

No of course he didn't get 'exploded at for not suggesting a movie' .. don't be ridiculous !!

He got spoken to in a huge garden a long way away from all other family about his complete lack of any form of help.. or engagement .. in what needs to be done when hosting so many people which HE & HER were invited to and yet .. the kids (all working adults except one at Uni) managed it despite not 'paying for it' in the exact same they were ..

OP posts:
jetadore · 10/04/2023 19:59

They do it because people let them. They feel entitled to nab the best room because you let them. “Oi get out of there, I’ll show you where your room is”, “You can wash up since you didn’t cook” etc. The time to tackle their shit is right when it happens not at the end of the stay or stewing over it on aibu. Of course YANBU but yabu to keep indulging them! Use your words as mnetters love to say.

Hawkins003 · 10/04/2023 20:00

Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 19:58

No of course he didn't get 'exploded at for not suggesting a movie' .. don't be ridiculous !!

He got spoken to in a huge garden a long way away from all other family about his complete lack of any form of help.. or engagement .. in what needs to be done when hosting so many people which HE & HER were invited to and yet .. the kids (all working adults except one at Uni) managed it despite not 'paying for it' in the exact same they were ..

So basically they wanted to be the "guests," while everyone else was their staff ?

Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 20:01

jetadore · 10/04/2023 19:59

They do it because people let them. They feel entitled to nab the best room because you let them. “Oi get out of there, I’ll show you where your room is”, “You can wash up since you didn’t cook” etc. The time to tackle their shit is right when it happens not at the end of the stay or stewing over it on aibu. Of course YANBU but yabu to keep indulging them! Use your words as mnetters love to say.

Yes ! You get it .. we have never come across this before but we are now forearmed..

OP posts:
sunglassesonthetable · 10/04/2023 20:02

Even ops CAPS are shouty I wonder if irl her younger db and his wife <with 'apparently' mh problems> are just a bit intimidated by her and kept out of the kitchen because of this.

Hmmm, didn't sound very intimidated getting to the food first or drinking wine 🍷 other people had brought. Or grabbing the best bedroom.

Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 20:05

BTW .. I intentionally didn't go on AIBU

This is CHAT ... because I KNOW they are CFs .. I didn't need to find out ! I was there . I was the one that did a leg of lamb, a pork belly and a nut roast in a single oven !!

OP posts:
Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 20:13

Btw - the BEST bedroom wasn't any best bedroom .. it was the lakes .. the best bedroom was spectacular !

OP posts:
Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 20:13

... and yes I WAS jealous of that ..

OP posts:
VariantHela · 10/04/2023 20:22

Sounds like my younger sister. It came to a head after many years l, and she finally said: "why should contribute when the outcome is exactly the same if I dont".

I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

Quitelikeit · 10/04/2023 20:23

These people clearly see you as some sort of joke - are you wealthy? They also believe you should be paying for them and they do not care about your relationship or feelings because if they did they would not act so disrespectful

I suspect they are maybe jealous of you? And basically took advantage of your nature

I think it is great that you eventually raised it and that going forward you will not be so generous as like you said that would make you foolish too

GnomeDePlume · 10/04/2023 20:29

Top tip for dealing with people who start on the food before anyone else: put all cutlery down last.

We had this problem with DPiL. They werent intentionally rude they would just forget there were another 5 people to get sat and would carry on with serving themselves and starting to eat.

We didnt want a bust up with them so we just stopped putting cutlery & serving spoons down.

Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 20:35

GnomeDePlume · 10/04/2023 20:29

Top tip for dealing with people who start on the food before anyone else: put all cutlery down last.

We had this problem with DPiL. They werent intentionally rude they would just forget there were another 5 people to get sat and would carry on with serving themselves and starting to eat.

We didnt want a bust up with them so we just stopped putting cutlery & serving spoons down.

That is so simple and brilliant!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 20:37

Quitelikeit · 10/04/2023 20:23

These people clearly see you as some sort of joke - are you wealthy? They also believe you should be paying for them and they do not care about your relationship or feelings because if they did they would not act so disrespectful

I suspect they are maybe jealous of you? And basically took advantage of your nature

I think it is great that you eventually raised it and that going forward you will not be so generous as like you said that would make you foolish too

No we aren't wealthy .. due to divorce I rent .. OB and YB own .. I happen to know that both paid of mortgages with inheritance..

OP posts:
Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 20:38

VariantHela · 10/04/2023 20:22

Sounds like my younger sister. It came to a head after many years l, and she finally said: "why should contribute when the outcome is exactly the same if I dont".

I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

I think it is exactly that .. we'll do e you have solved the entire issue !

OP posts:
Strawberrydelight78 · 10/04/2023 21:02

Don't invite them again and don't do anything for them. If you visit them don't lift a finger. Give them a taste of they're own medicine.

Botw1 · 10/04/2023 21:12

Wealthy enough to pay for a whole weekend away for 20 people