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Original poster

Easter Cheeky Fuckery.

228 replies

Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 10:16

NC for this as very outing ..

My brother, sister in law, self and DH hired a big beautiful country house for Easter . We invited our 5 kids and their husbands /wives /partners . Along with my younger brother and his wife.

We also had 3 other siblings from nearby for lunch with their partners and kids.

There were 15 for supper Fri night
16 Saturday night
17 for Roast on Sunday.

Little bro arrived first and nabbed the biggest bedroom. The only one with an ensuite.

At NO POINT did either of them lift a finger . They didn't make a cup of tea. Peel a potato or bring any contribution.
Nor did they offer to contribute to the cost. (Which we wouldn't have expected ). They literally sat on the sofa and watched every single family member play their part . Meals for that amount is a group effort.

At each meal they were the first to sit down and help themselves. Eat before anyone else was sat down and got up and left the dining table before others had finished (or barely started)

We are clearing up the house this morning in ready for 11am exit.. yet again they have arrived to eat breakfast.. late risers , leisurely shower while the other 10 people run around doing food and laying out a beautiful buffet breakfast.
Which they again were first to help themselves to..

This has tipped my big brother (supported by me) over the top. Exploded at them asking why they thought everyone was there to wait on them hand and foot . (This was done away from the others just us siblings.)

Apparently SIL is depressed and suffering from anxiety. (Didn't seem to prevent her sitting in the sunshine laughing and joking whilst knocking back 2 bottles of wine -they didn't buy and smoking all day)
'Little Brother doesn't know how to cook.' (No one asked him to. But he is not so ignorant that he doesn't know how to peel a carrot or offer to make a cup of tea)

Best of all.. 'You invited us on holiday' so we are having a holiday. We need the rest ..

Honestly . I need to know. How on earth can people behave like this ? They appear to have absolutely no guilt or sense of humility .

Just an overwhelming sense of entitlement.

I've just asked them to strip their bed and leave the sheets in the laundry. This has caused my SIL to declare 'that's what these places have cleaners to do' pack their bags and drive off without saying goodbye.

The 10 people remaining are actually so gobsmacked by such world class cheeky fuckery that they have decided to just put it in the bank of funny tales for the future. Whilst db sil self and DH want to know how people like this actually operate through their day to day lives.

OP posts:
MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 10/04/2023 10:18

I'd send them a bill for their share of the cost and not invite them to future gatherings.

BillytheMountain · 10/04/2023 10:22

Why did you let them get the best room could’ve turfed them out.

Why were they not asked to help out peeling spuds or clearing up at the time?

They are CF but you lot enabled them.

Botw1 · 10/04/2023 10:28

But why didn't you tell them they couldn't have the best room?

Or tell them to come peel something or give them another job?

Or make them pay a share?

People act like this because theye allowed to.

Mumdiva99 · 10/04/2023 10:28

When they arrive and try to take a bedroom you simply say....No, this is your room.
After a meal you say, x and y cooked so a and b please clear and tidy and n and m do the dishes.

Or abc washed and cleaned last night, def help now and ghi do it tonight.....be clear in your expectation.

Similarly- would you like to come away - there will be a kitty for meals.....or you need to sort this and that meal for us all.

Don't moan afterwards.....

Roundandnour · 10/04/2023 10:29

Best way to deal with lazy entitled people - give them the food and a knife/peeler.

Tell them to make tea/coffee

when they get up ask them where they are going seeing as they didn’t help, they are on washing up duty.

If they are invited again and still entitled they don’t get another invite. When they moan, because they do, you explain in easy to understand terms why.

Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 10:29

We did ask them to do things . Peel spuds, carrots lay table etc.. but with such a big group after 5-10 mins of inaction /being ignored .. told 'yes - in a minute' someone else stepped in as it needed to get done.

I also think that the sheer numbers helped. Had DH DB SIL and self been doing this alone then we would have pulled them up earlier. But with loads of kids helping the work burden wasn't really affected . It was just the gobsmacking entitlement.

How do people even imagine that it is an ok way to behave ?

OP posts:
PussBilledDuckyPlait · 10/04/2023 10:31

Not lifting a finger is poor, but how did you plan the bedrooms to be allocated? Any reason why, on arrival, they should not have chosen the best one? If it was the people who paid to have the best bedroom, you should have made that clear - or if you were planning to draw straws or whatever.

GoldenGorilla · 10/04/2023 10:32

I’ve known a few people who think “you invited us on holiday, so we’re relaxing “. They don’t seem to get the idea that it’s everybody’s holiday and everybody wants to relax, just think they’ve been invited for a lovely relaxing time for themselves. It is odd.

Duckingella · 10/04/2023 10:32

Don't invite them anywhere again.As for your SIL I think I'd be also depressed if my husband was as lazy and entitled as hers.

rainyalan · 10/04/2023 10:34

Whisk them on their merry way and never invite them away again.

pizzaHeart · 10/04/2023 10:34

They were absolutely wrong to behave like this however you should have planned how to share rooms before the holiday and make it clear about rules and expectations. With so many people involved you can’t just expect everything being smoothly and fair, it’s never are.

PsychoHotSauce · 10/04/2023 10:37

I don't know, it's almost like you gave them enough rope to hang themselves just so you could make a thread about it Grin

Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 10:38

Mumdiva99 · 10/04/2023 10:28

When they arrive and try to take a bedroom you simply say....No, this is your room.
After a meal you say, x and y cooked so a and b please clear and tidy and n and m do the dishes.

Or abc washed and cleaned last night, def help now and ghi do it tonight.....be clear in your expectation.

Similarly- would you like to come away - there will be a kitty for meals.....or you need to sort this and that meal for us all.

Don't moan afterwards.....

Yes . These are clear and sensible rules /expectations. If we ever invite them again then I will keep these and refer back.

We have never been away with them before . I have often been away with older bro and family. I have never experienced behaviour like it . So was unprepared. Every other person staying played a part. So this is not something I have ever witnessed before. No kids of ours would dream of doing nothing while others serve them ALL weekend .

I won't be witnessing it again .

They got the best room because we are polite... and at the time didn't realise their attitude would be quite so appalling. We won't be fooled twice .

OP posts:
Botw1 · 10/04/2023 10:42

Surely you must know your brother well enough to know what he's like?

You sound like you're describing a stranger

lv884 · 10/04/2023 10:57

Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 10:38

Yes . These are clear and sensible rules /expectations. If we ever invite them again then I will keep these and refer back.

We have never been away with them before . I have often been away with older bro and family. I have never experienced behaviour like it . So was unprepared. Every other person staying played a part. So this is not something I have ever witnessed before. No kids of ours would dream of doing nothing while others serve them ALL weekend .

I won't be witnessing it again .

They got the best room because we are polite... and at the time didn't realise their attitude would be quite so appalling. We won't be fooled twice .

Show quote history

He’s clearly a CF. No disputing that.

When you saw he picked the best room, it should have been a case of “Sorry, but paying guests get the first choices.” If not already made clear to CF.

I agree the conditions of these self-catering holidays need to made clearer before booking. Eg “Fancy paying one third per couple to stay in Cornwall for the week? I know you two like to go out to nice restaurants but we probably won’t go out to eat much, maybe once or twice, so it’ll be us all mucking in together with the cooking and washing up. So we’ll all split the cost of a big shop. Then maybe each couple can cook a couple of dinners each over the week.” etc.

I wouldn’t want to go on holiday to cook and clean that much since (beyond the basics for hygiene, of course, and the deeper clean when you have to leave) so I’d probably not go.

BMW6 · 10/04/2023 11:01

Well now you know what they're like. I have absolutely no doubt that this is how they will always be.

I would never ever invite or include them again.

Mumdiva99 · 10/04/2023 11:15

At least you now know not to extend the invite again!!! Sound like you and older brother have lovely family holidays without him.

Skybluepinky · 10/04/2023 11:18

Unfortunately u all enabled their behaviour, it could have been nipped in the bud.

BeeCucumber · 10/04/2023 11:24

They behaved that way because you all let them.

midsomermurderess · 10/04/2023 11:25

I find this a little strange: ‘Nor did they offer to contribute to the cost. (Which we wouldn't have expected)’. Did you just want them to go through the motions even though you and they knew no payment was expected? And you’re miffed when they didn’t. Assuming this behaviour is not exceptional, they’ve been allowed to get away with it before. They know they can get away with it.

Original poster
Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 11:28

Botw1 · 10/04/2023 10:42

Surely you must know your brother well enough to know what he's like?

You sound like you're describing a stranger

I have never stayed or had them to stay. They have 4 kids so no chance of hosting them growing up ..

He is 11 years younger than me and 14 than older bro. So we didn't really grow up together as such. Was v much the baby.

We saw each other for high days and holidays but as he only lives 2 hours away so overnight stay not needed.

OP posts:
Botw1 · 10/04/2023 11:30

And how did he behave during 'high days and holidays '

Where did their 4 kids sleep? Did they help out?

Quirrelsotherface · 10/04/2023 11:30

They are CF but you lot enabled them

This. Quite simply, don't invite them again. They sound utterly shit company apart from anything else!

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 11:34

Maybe they think "too many cooks" etc as you're all jostling to be the most pro-active in the kitchen?

Laying out a big beautiful breakfast spread when you're checking out at 11am seems a bit much. Maybe they were just sick of the massive performance.

AmandaHoldensLips · 10/04/2023 11:40

Never invite them again.