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Original poster

Easter Cheeky Fuckery.

228 replies

Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 10:16

NC for this as very outing ..

My brother, sister in law, self and DH hired a big beautiful country house for Easter . We invited our 5 kids and their husbands /wives /partners . Along with my younger brother and his wife.

We also had 3 other siblings from nearby for lunch with their partners and kids.

There were 15 for supper Fri night
16 Saturday night
17 for Roast on Sunday.

Little bro arrived first and nabbed the biggest bedroom. The only one with an ensuite.

At NO POINT did either of them lift a finger . They didn't make a cup of tea. Peel a potato or bring any contribution.
Nor did they offer to contribute to the cost. (Which we wouldn't have expected ). They literally sat on the sofa and watched every single family member play their part . Meals for that amount is a group effort.

At each meal they were the first to sit down and help themselves. Eat before anyone else was sat down and got up and left the dining table before others had finished (or barely started)

We are clearing up the house this morning in ready for 11am exit.. yet again they have arrived to eat breakfast.. late risers , leisurely shower while the other 10 people run around doing food and laying out a beautiful buffet breakfast.
Which they again were first to help themselves to..

This has tipped my big brother (supported by me) over the top. Exploded at them asking why they thought everyone was there to wait on them hand and foot . (This was done away from the others just us siblings.)

Apparently SIL is depressed and suffering from anxiety. (Didn't seem to prevent her sitting in the sunshine laughing and joking whilst knocking back 2 bottles of wine -they didn't buy and smoking all day)
'Little Brother doesn't know how to cook.' (No one asked him to. But he is not so ignorant that he doesn't know how to peel a carrot or offer to make a cup of tea)

Best of all.. 'You invited us on holiday' so we are having a holiday. We need the rest ..

Honestly . I need to know. How on earth can people behave like this ? They appear to have absolutely no guilt or sense of humility .

Just an overwhelming sense of entitlement.

I've just asked them to strip their bed and leave the sheets in the laundry. This has caused my SIL to declare 'that's what these places have cleaners to do' pack their bags and drive off without saying goodbye.

The 10 people remaining are actually so gobsmacked by such world class cheeky fuckery that they have decided to just put it in the bank of funny tales for the future. Whilst db sil self and DH want to know how people like this actually operate through their day to day lives.

OP posts:
TheaBrandt · 10/04/2023 14:02

Totally shocked by those saying op
ar fault for not laying out ground rules?! Surely any sentient adult knows they pitch in in that scenario without being told? My teens know that. A child would!

Cellowaves · 10/04/2023 14:09

Honestly my brother would unthinkingly hop into the best room. He's bloody thoughtless.

I however would turf him out of it (if i'd paid for it!) without a second thought Grin and would also ask him to do something like peel the spuds and if he didn't would shove the peeler into his hand and tell him to get on with it. Same with the girlfriend, if you're family enough to come along then you get treated like family too.

Some people are the 'younger' ones who've been a bit babied and are a bit thoughtless as a result. There's no excuse really once you're old enough to have your own families and the just thoughtless ones (like my brother) usually, once you've said something like 'oi you lazy sod, get up and pitch in! Do you think we're here as your staff?' are suitably embarrassed, and don't do it again.

Others though are absolute piss takers and it sounds like OPs brother and his girlfriend is exactly that. I wouldn't just not invite them again OP I would contact him in a few days once the dust has settled and tell him exactly what I think of their behaviour.

Bustard · 10/04/2023 14:17

Cellowaves · 10/04/2023 14:09

Honestly my brother would unthinkingly hop into the best room. He's bloody thoughtless.

I however would turf him out of it (if i'd paid for it!) without a second thought Grin and would also ask him to do something like peel the spuds and if he didn't would shove the peeler into his hand and tell him to get on with it. Same with the girlfriend, if you're family enough to come along then you get treated like family too.

Some people are the 'younger' ones who've been a bit babied and are a bit thoughtless as a result. There's no excuse really once you're old enough to have your own families and the just thoughtless ones (like my brother) usually, once you've said something like 'oi you lazy sod, get up and pitch in! Do you think we're here as your staff?' are suitably embarrassed, and don't do it again.

Others though are absolute piss takers and it sounds like OPs brother and his girlfriend is exactly that. I wouldn't just not invite them again OP I would contact him in a few days once the dust has settled and tell him exactly what I think of their behaviour.

It's fine to say you'd shove the peeler in his hand but if he is a truly CF like the couple in the OP sound he'd probably peel a potato and then go and lie down, then what do you do? Cause a scene and awkward situation or just sigh and pick up the peeler yourself and make a mental note not to invite them again?

The woman I know who is like this I asked her very clearly "please watch DS while I cook dinner", she agreed but then 10 minutes later there he was crawling around my feet and she was laying on the sofa playing candy crush!! I did try and subtly/humourously bring her back in to the family, helping out, pitching in mindset but she was having none of it.

Cellowaves · 10/04/2023 14:20

I'd make the scene, tbh! I don't lose my temper or shout etc but I absolutely would say something if they peeled a couple and went and sat back down.

This sort of lazy crap is just intolerable!

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 14:46

It is a performance. Big beautiful spread, high days and holidays, lots of children, ooh her anxiety didn't stop her necking the wine. Oh I don't know if he offered to pay but myself and my hero big brother made sure to only gave an acceptable number of kids and certainly offer.

The hero big bro who exploded and made the weekend end horribly.

You look down on him and his wife because you think your adult kids are so well rounded and grown up for chipping in by making a brew or two. You've never holidayed together before. They slept later than you. She smokes. She drinks. She's lazy. He's a baby. Hmmmm. I wonder what kind of superior comments they have been subjected to over the years. Hard being the runt of the litter when everyone else is so perfect.

There are lazy fuckers in my family too, they always get told to join in but to be honest it would be the brother that exploded after just 3 days that would leave a sour taste. And the sister hanging off his every word backing him up. There's no need for it. If you couldn't be arsed to tell him to get his arse in gear and you're not inviting them again then there was no reason for the fucking shouting and balling and upset to what should've been a nice get together.

All as bad as each other.

Rosula · 10/04/2023 14:59

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 14:46

It is a performance. Big beautiful spread, high days and holidays, lots of children, ooh her anxiety didn't stop her necking the wine. Oh I don't know if he offered to pay but myself and my hero big brother made sure to only gave an acceptable number of kids and certainly offer.

The hero big bro who exploded and made the weekend end horribly.

You look down on him and his wife because you think your adult kids are so well rounded and grown up for chipping in by making a brew or two. You've never holidayed together before. They slept later than you. She smokes. She drinks. She's lazy. He's a baby. Hmmmm. I wonder what kind of superior comments they have been subjected to over the years. Hard being the runt of the litter when everyone else is so perfect.

There are lazy fuckers in my family too, they always get told to join in but to be honest it would be the brother that exploded after just 3 days that would leave a sour taste. And the sister hanging off his every word backing him up. There's no need for it. If you couldn't be arsed to tell him to get his arse in gear and you're not inviting them again then there was no reason for the fucking shouting and balling and upset to what should've been a nice get together.

All as bad as each other.

Hi, OP's younger brother. Or are you his wife?

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 10/04/2023 15:01

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 14:46

It is a performance. Big beautiful spread, high days and holidays, lots of children, ooh her anxiety didn't stop her necking the wine. Oh I don't know if he offered to pay but myself and my hero big brother made sure to only gave an acceptable number of kids and certainly offer.

The hero big bro who exploded and made the weekend end horribly.

You look down on him and his wife because you think your adult kids are so well rounded and grown up for chipping in by making a brew or two. You've never holidayed together before. They slept later than you. She smokes. She drinks. She's lazy. He's a baby. Hmmmm. I wonder what kind of superior comments they have been subjected to over the years. Hard being the runt of the litter when everyone else is so perfect.

There are lazy fuckers in my family too, they always get told to join in but to be honest it would be the brother that exploded after just 3 days that would leave a sour taste. And the sister hanging off his every word backing him up. There's no need for it. If you couldn't be arsed to tell him to get his arse in gear and you're not inviting them again then there was no reason for the fucking shouting and balling and upset to what should've been a nice get together.

All as bad as each other.

Looks as if your dbro and wife have got home.

TrewleyTired · 10/04/2023 15:03

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 14:46

It is a performance. Big beautiful spread, high days and holidays, lots of children, ooh her anxiety didn't stop her necking the wine. Oh I don't know if he offered to pay but myself and my hero big brother made sure to only gave an acceptable number of kids and certainly offer.

The hero big bro who exploded and made the weekend end horribly.

You look down on him and his wife because you think your adult kids are so well rounded and grown up for chipping in by making a brew or two. You've never holidayed together before. They slept later than you. She smokes. She drinks. She's lazy. He's a baby. Hmmmm. I wonder what kind of superior comments they have been subjected to over the years. Hard being the runt of the litter when everyone else is so perfect.

There are lazy fuckers in my family too, they always get told to join in but to be honest it would be the brother that exploded after just 3 days that would leave a sour taste. And the sister hanging off his every word backing him up. There's no need for it. If you couldn't be arsed to tell him to get his arse in gear and you're not inviting them again then there was no reason for the fucking shouting and balling and upset to what should've been a nice get together.

All as bad as each other.

Oh, lazy fuckera are home already.

You forgot to strip the bed btw!

Mumsanetta · 10/04/2023 15:13

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 14:46

It is a performance. Big beautiful spread, high days and holidays, lots of children, ooh her anxiety didn't stop her necking the wine. Oh I don't know if he offered to pay but myself and my hero big brother made sure to only gave an acceptable number of kids and certainly offer.

The hero big bro who exploded and made the weekend end horribly.

You look down on him and his wife because you think your adult kids are so well rounded and grown up for chipping in by making a brew or two. You've never holidayed together before. They slept later than you. She smokes. She drinks. She's lazy. He's a baby. Hmmmm. I wonder what kind of superior comments they have been subjected to over the years. Hard being the runt of the litter when everyone else is so perfect.

There are lazy fuckers in my family too, they always get told to join in but to be honest it would be the brother that exploded after just 3 days that would leave a sour taste. And the sister hanging off his every word backing him up. There's no need for it. If you couldn't be arsed to tell him to get his arse in gear and you're not inviting them again then there was no reason for the fucking shouting and balling and upset to what should've been a nice get together.

All as bad as each other.

The little brother certainly does sound like the runt of the litter!

Bustard · 10/04/2023 15:14

Cellowaves · 10/04/2023 14:20

I'd make the scene, tbh! I don't lose my temper or shout etc but I absolutely would say something if they peeled a couple and went and sat back down.

This sort of lazy crap is just intolerable!

My FIL did cause a scene in the end and it did not stay humourous! She took his humourous but, to be fair, slightly cutting remark extremely personally and went off in a sulk. Which then precipitated a full on row between FIL and BIL. We haven't seen BIL since!

midsomermurderess · 10/04/2023 15:18

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 14:46

It is a performance. Big beautiful spread, high days and holidays, lots of children, ooh her anxiety didn't stop her necking the wine. Oh I don't know if he offered to pay but myself and my hero big brother made sure to only gave an acceptable number of kids and certainly offer.

The hero big bro who exploded and made the weekend end horribly.

You look down on him and his wife because you think your adult kids are so well rounded and grown up for chipping in by making a brew or two. You've never holidayed together before. They slept later than you. She smokes. She drinks. She's lazy. He's a baby. Hmmmm. I wonder what kind of superior comments they have been subjected to over the years. Hard being the runt of the litter when everyone else is so perfect.

There are lazy fuckers in my family too, they always get told to join in but to be honest it would be the brother that exploded after just 3 days that would leave a sour taste. And the sister hanging off his every word backing him up. There's no need for it. If you couldn't be arsed to tell him to get his arse in gear and you're not inviting them again then there was no reason for the fucking shouting and balling and upset to what should've been a nice get together.

All as bad as each other.

Bloody hell, the projection going on here is something else. And how can you be so furious ostensibly on behalf of strangers? Just peculiar.

WonderingWanda · 10/04/2023 15:38

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 10/04/2023 10:31

Not lifting a finger is poor, but how did you plan the bedrooms to be allocated? Any reason why, on arrival, they should not have chosen the best one? If it was the people who paid to have the best bedroom, you should have made that clear - or if you were planning to draw straws or whatever.

Surely everyone knows nit to assume if you aren't the organiser or paying for it. I've organised lots of these sorts of breaks for family and even when we've split the costs people have asked me which room they are in.

They were so rude and cheeky, I doubt you'll invite them next time, so their loss!

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 16:15

Haha 😂 I'm not the brother or the SIL. I don't have 4 bloody kids for a start. I'm sensible like you op and stuck at 2.

I did write a massive essay there but your posts are dripping with snottiness about them and comparisons between you and the big bro versus them and their drinking, smoking, laziness.

I'm the organiser in our family. I'd be the one organising the food order, booking the cottage, doing the roast. My youngest brother can't be arsed with it all, he once had an equally bone idle GF. The cheeky fuckers got told and we ribbed them and eye roll at them etc. His new GF joins in. She'll muck in with washing up etc.

If any of our family "exploded" at them after 3 days of family spending time together I'd be giving them short fucking shrift. After all, that tension and bad feeling is much worse than the lazy fuckers not making a brew. That's what has ruined everyone's weekend.

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 16:18

"Bloody hell, the projection going on here is something else. And how can you be so furious ostensibly on behalf of strangers? Just peculiar."

I'm not furious 😂. Just waiting for a family member to cook the dinner and enjoying a couple of hours on MN.

I cooked for 3 families yesterday with varying degrees of help from each of them. The kids are younger though. I'm not the runt of the litter so no projection going on, but I wouldn't treat our runt like the OP and her brother have. Sounds like they enjoyed it and I'm just happily pointing it out 🤷🏽‍♀️

sadsack78 · 10/04/2023 16:18

I'm sorry your holiday panned out like that, OP.

I don't think you enabled them. Adults generally know how to behave, and you aren't responsible for teaching them.

And nabbing the biggest room is just plain rude (all of it is). Very entitled and childish.

JudgeJ · 10/04/2023 16:18

BillytheMountain · 10/04/2023 10:22

Why did you let them get the best room could’ve turfed them out.

Why were they not asked to help out peeling spuds or clearing up at the time?

They are CF but you lot enabled them.

I wonder what the dear brother and his woman do at home? Sit there and wait for the spud fairy to perform? It really shouldn't be necessary to tell people, it's normal surely to say Can I do anything? when you arrive.

JudgeJ · 10/04/2023 16:22

Duckingella · 10/04/2023 10:32

Don't invite them anywhere again.As for your SIL I think I'd be also depressed if my husband was as lazy and entitled as hers.

The SIL sounds to be as lazy and entitled as the brother, her 'depression' etc. is an attempt fond a trendy excuse.

Ktime · 10/04/2023 16:26

If we ever invite them again then I will keep these and refer back.

This made my heart sink! I wouldn’t invite them again!

Will never invite them to this type of thing again - and if we have a restaurant type family get together I will be putting in writing what the deal is. Explain from the start that it's 'each family is paying for their own meal and only book them in once the confirmation is received.

Good! Except, I think they will STILL find a way not to pay (e.g. forget their wallet/purse). I would have a strike policy, if they don’t pay even with strict instructions then they never get an invite ever again.

What was their reaction to brother losing his shit? Were they shamefaced?

JudgeJ · 10/04/2023 16:27

Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 12:02

I don't agree. Why would I NEED to badger and cajole two adult humans who have four kids so well versed in what's needed ?

Enabler ? Or just someone with higher standards. and expectations ? Bear in mind there were at least 10 other people who didn't require any level of 'asking' .. from 21-68 years they all took ownership of a joint effort.

So I see that lazy entitled- ness is yet another thing that people are not to blame for .. as it's the fault of people who don't talk them out of it.

How about they just shouldn't do it ?

Show quote history

On MN it's the norm to blame the victim of entitled behaviour rather than the lazy sod, Why did you let it happen? type of response. As you quite rightly say it shouldn't be necessary to stand over two adults to get them to do a simple job like peeling a vegetable, clearing plates or making coffee.

Nanny0gg · 10/04/2023 16:31

Offthexmaslist · 10/04/2023 10:29

We did ask them to do things . Peel spuds, carrots lay table etc.. but with such a big group after 5-10 mins of inaction /being ignored .. told 'yes - in a minute' someone else stepped in as it needed to get done.

I also think that the sheer numbers helped. Had DH DB SIL and self been doing this alone then we would have pulled them up earlier. But with loads of kids helping the work burden wasn't really affected . It was just the gobsmacking entitlement.

How do people even imagine that it is an ok way to behave ?

Surely this isn't new behaviour?

RosemaryAndTime · 10/04/2023 16:33

People only behave like this when they are permitted to!

ColdHandsHotHead · 10/04/2023 16:35

Good for your FIL. I have recent experience of a CF who wouldn't lift a finger to anything and it wasn't for want of asking either.

Ktime · 10/04/2023 16:37

Yes invite them to other events but not a holiday where everyone pitches in.

I wouldn’t even invite them to other events, unless they’ve pre-paid. They’re free loaders and they will only get worse.

Ktime · 10/04/2023 16:38

Bustard · 10/04/2023 15:14

My FIL did cause a scene in the end and it did not stay humourous! She took his humourous but, to be fair, slightly cutting remark extremely personally and went off in a sulk. Which then precipitated a full on row between FIL and BIL. We haven't seen BIL since!

Show quote history

Result! Would love to read your thread!

MsCunk · 10/04/2023 16:42

It's stories like this that make me wonder if big family get togethers in one house, with self catering, are in any way worth it.