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Original poster

DS only wants 200 pound trainers

159 replies

Theblackdogagain · 08/04/2023 07:50

I'm at an impasse with my son. He's 13. I've never been into label's, stupid priced clothes or sports. My son has always cared about what he wore but recently he's in a group of friends that needs Nike trainers. His last pair were fila but now apparently that's not good enough. He's had his hair cut into a trendy cut at his insistence and I'm not against him finding his style but 200 is too much for trainers when his feet are still growing, he'll play football in them and wreck them and it's more than we spend on food in 2 weeks.
I've tried showing him shoes in the sale, looking at other makes and saying he needs to use some of his Christmas money to a maximum of 100 pounds. I'm really unreasonable.
Any ideas? Any websites I can use? I did get a puma tracksuit bottom and a Nike t shirt from costco do at least he has clothes on!
I'm not giving in on over 100 for trainers, the most expensive shows I've ever had were 40 and they were biker boots that still fit me :-)

OP posts:
Sunnysunbun · 08/04/2023 07:53

You can’t afford them so he can’t have them.Tell him once his feet stop growing you’ll consider it.

Fatkittythinkitty · 08/04/2023 07:53

You could try vinted for second hand. But ultimately when my kids make daft requests like that I just laugh and say no.

I tell them my limit and they can top it up like you suggest with their own money but I don't loose sleep over it.

It's ok to say no to them.

Myneighbourskia · 08/04/2023 07:53

Give him 100 and he has to provide the other 100, otherwise it's a no. 200 is way too much on shoes for a 13 year old.

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DustyLee123 · 08/04/2023 07:55

If he wants something he needs to save up for it, or wait for Xmas/birthday.
Or look for second hand.

sixfoot · 08/04/2023 07:56

Say no. I do it all the time with my kids.

BibbleandSqwauk · 08/04/2023 07:57

At 13 he could start casually earning by washing cars, mowing lawns, painting fences. Depending on where you live, are there a few neighbours / acquaintances who would pay him for that kind of thing? I'm not suggesting he goes knocking on random doors but if it's someone you know?

BarbaraofSeville · 08/04/2023 07:58

Vinted could be a really good idea. Surely there's a good second hand market for barely worn expensive trainers being sold by teens who've outgrown them?

Get him looking on there - he needs to do the legwork here not you.

Bobbybobbins · 08/04/2023 07:58

I think earning them is a good idea - some good suggestions above for car washing etc. Then if they do get damaged they are not being replaced.

fairislecable · 08/04/2023 07:59

My DS was the same until I agreed to pay only the equivalent amount for M & S trainers and he paid the rest, ( he had a paper round and pocket money).

He did it once and realised it was not worth it.

He never suggested it again.

NoSquirrels · 08/04/2023 07:59

Are you saying you can afford £100? If so, tell him that’s the budget and you’ll be delighted to buy him the trainers he wants for £100 so he should do his research.

thebabessavedme · 08/04/2023 07:59

It is not the end of the world to tell a child 'no, we cannot afford them'

so long as he is fed, warm, clean and loved he will have to get used to how life works.

WeAreTheHeroes · 08/04/2023 07:59

Ask him for a solution: how can he get the trainers he wants when you can't afford them?

Does he get pocket money or an allowance? Can he get a part time job? Tell him how much you can afford and if he wants them, he saves up the rest/asks for money for his birthday/Christmas until he has enough. I'm afraid it's tough, but he needs to understand that just because he wants them doesn't mean he'll get them.

When he knows he has paid towards something he may look after it better.

Original poster
Theblackdogagain · 08/04/2023 08:00

I've said no, don't worry about that. The issue is his trainers are falling apart and he needs new ones. I know nothing about trainers (I wear sketchers, second hand) and he has wide feet so everytime we go trainer shopping it ends in an argument and no trainers.

OP posts:
Shinyredbicycle · 08/04/2023 08:02

I agree. Stick with what you've said. Second hand is worth looking at.

I would say though that shoes get bloody expensive once they get above a size 6.

I just had to replace my ds's school Kickers - £83!

Fatkittythinkitty · 08/04/2023 08:02

Get him looking on line first for trainers he likes within your budget then you have a few ideas to look for when you go shopping

Beautifulsunflowers · 08/04/2023 08:03

At 13 he can do a paper round. Let him earn money so he understand the value of it.
Both my ds’s have done a paper round. They’ve washed jy cars and grandparents cars for £5/£10.
When they started to want designer trainers I would put what I’d usually spend on trainers towards it and they would pay the rest.
You have to teach them that you can’t always have what you want in life and compromises have to be made.

gamerchick · 08/04/2023 08:03

Give him a budget and tell him to look online. Balls in his court

Soontobe60 · 08/04/2023 08:03

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Original poster
Theblackdogagain · 08/04/2023 08:03

And thank you all for saying that 200 is too much for trainers, I am beginning to feel I'm the wicked witch of the west for daring to say no. I want him to learn the value of money and some ethics but we've got a way to go.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 08/04/2023 08:05

Theblackdogagain · 08/04/2023 08:00

I've said no, don't worry about that. The issue is his trainers are falling apart and he needs new ones. I know nothing about trainers (I wear sketchers, second hand) and he has wide feet so everytime we go trainer shopping it ends in an argument and no trainers.

One of my DDs used to say that shoes didn’t fit her because she thought I’d give in and get the pair she wanted, which miraculously DID fit her. It never worked 😂

Easterbaking · 08/04/2023 08:06

The way I do it is I'll spend a reasonable amount so say £70-£100 or whatever the budget is.

If he wants very expensive stuff then it's either for birthday/Christmas or he uses his own money. My son has always understood this and been ok with it. There hasn't been arguments because he knows and is clear on the budget before we go shopping.

I really don't think there is a need to spend £250 on trainers. You can definitely get fashionable men's size Nike trainers for less than £120 that are fine for playing in.

AuntieJoyce · 08/04/2023 08:07

BarbaraofSeville · 08/04/2023 07:58

Vinted could be a really good idea. Surely there's a good second hand market for barely worn expensive trainers being sold by teens who've outgrown them?

Get him looking on there - he needs to do the legwork here not you.

There is. It used to be ebay but as pp have said probably vinted now. If he doesn’t wreck them you can also sell on

Easterbaking · 08/04/2023 08:09

Sorry I misread as £250.

I will say that once they're in men's sizes. Trainers do become very expensive. But you can still get a pair for less than that.

OhSmitty · 08/04/2023 08:09

I'm with you OP, I wouldn't spend anything like that on teen fashion. I might consider a birthday and Christmas gift combined or have the DC pay half.

MyDarlingClementine · 08/04/2023 08:11

I would be extremely hesitant to buy into this....it sort of confirms it's necessary.

Otherwise Nike outlet or as pp said give him normal price for trainers and ask him to come up with a way to buy them
But I would be concerned about wider implications because it's this sort of "pull" that makes it easier for county lines gangs to trap young people... Ie expensive trainers and "needing them".
Better to work on the context of trainers, fashion...