DS only wants 200 pound trainers

[Theblackdogagain]

I'm at an impasse with my son. He's 13. I've never been into label's, stupid priced clothes or sports. My son has always cared about what he wore but recently he's in a group of friends that needs Nike trainers. His last pair were fila but now apparently that's not good enough. He's had his hair cut into a trendy cut at his insistence and I'm not against him finding his style but 200 is too much for trainers when his feet are still growing, he'll play football in them and wreck them and it's more than we spend on food in 2 weeks.
I've tried showing him shoes in the sale, looking at other makes and saying he needs to use some of his Christmas money to a maximum of 100 pounds. I'm really unreasonable.
Any ideas? Any websites I can use? I did get a puma tracksuit bottom and a Nike t shirt from costco do at least he has clothes on!
I'm not giving in on over 100 for trainers, the most expensive shows I've ever had were 40 and they were biker boots that still fit me :-)

You say no. That’s my well thought out idea.

If he wants cash to put towards trainers then you decide the maximum
amount you were going to spend and give him that. He can then top the amount up with his own money or compromise on brand/style.

I would say no unless he funds them himself - if you give him £100 just now he will still grow out of them/wreck them within a few months and you'll be shelling out again for another pair.

DS gets £100 budget for two pairs of shoes (one black pair for school and another pair of trainers for P.E.).

Spending £200 on something that wont last 6 months is mental IMO.

Have a look at the past seasons styles. They tend to be reduced heavily and a lot of times the differences are very subtle.

I have a 15 year old he isn't really into brands but competes in sports so needs specific types of runners. Men's runners are very expensive.

I might be going against the grain here but I’d help him get the trainers. Fitting in really matters to teens and ime they grow out of it by 18 ish so it’s not forever. Let him use his Xmas money and then work ( by cleaning, gardening whatever) to earn another £20 then you pay the balance which is what you would have paid anyway. Trainers are expensive whatever brand.
just be pleased he is not asking for £500 trainers!!

Not unreasonable. You mention Christmas money up to £100. Does this mean he has more and could buy them outright?

If so why would you not allow him to spend more? If he destroys them then a lesson learned and you might buy the next lower price pair.

Which ones are they?

I'm not necessarily entertaining the idea of £200 trainers but there are lots of offers, Vinted etc.

My DC ask for ridiculous things all the time which are largely met with a hard no!

We get my wide footed son very basic Nike trainers from sports direct - they’re about £48 adult size ones. Nike revolution running shoe ones. No way would we get £200 ones. If he had a real bee in his bonnet about them I’d have them for a birthday present instead of other stuff and he’d have to deal with it when they were grown out of soon, or wrecked. Might be a lesson he needs!

My son has also got into labels and this is so unlike us.
He buys everything from vinted and its affordable and 'green' so we are all happy.

I want him to learn the value of money and some ethics but we've got a way to go.

But he can't learn if you don't let him. It is unreasonable to stop him from using his Christmas money as he wants (you can always have a talk about savings for longterm and shortterm)

It isn't fair to ascribe your value of worth to something he wants.

Set your limit. Be it M&S trainer price as above or the price that you feel comfortable with. And then he needs to find the rest/buy on ebay (but be careful lots of fakes.)

He does then learn the value of money, he might decide to never buy them again or they may become his most treasured possession.

Just say no. There are cheaper Nike trainers he can have go to sports direct and get a pair within budget

How much would you be willing to pay for some trainers?

He can then work for the rest of the money, he may look after them better if he has had to earn to buy them.

Say you’ll pay the usual amount. If his current trainers fall apart in the meantime that’s his problem. He sounds like a brat.

As others have said you tell him you have up to £100 and then he can use pocket money/Christmas money etc to top it up.

I wouldn’t discuss it or offer any further compromise just tell him that’s how it is and to let you know when he has found the ones he wants.

If he keeps banging on about it, offer to sell some of his stuff (ipad, phone, game system) to fund it. Put how much it really is into perspective for him.

Try tkmaxx or mandmdirect

Stand your ground, good luck OP. Remind him of those who can barely afford the next meal, food banks etc.

He needs to save up. You shouldn't have to fund his lavish lifestyle choices. He has shoes. Branded ones at that!

Nike outlets are a good shout, they often have good deals.

What size feet is he? If he's got wide feet and a large size, trainers will start getting expensive quickly imo. You also do get better wear from some of the more expensive brands I've found, if he treats them well.

I think comparing to your dislike of brands / most expensive shoes being £40 and lasting years isn't really fair - he's not you. At 13 shoes won't last years and years because he's growing, and things are all way more expensive now so comparing to a many years old pair of ladies boots isn't a direct comparison tbh.

My teenage boys are 13 and 15. Both have Nikes they are happy with. Eldest is adult size 7. Neither cost more than £80

Im assuming its a specific pair he wants?

Be careful on vinted, I love it but there are reports that expensive trainers are subject to scams. Check the sellers reviews carefully.

Every time he asks, ask him where is he getting the money. Then give him a time limit to chose a pair within his budget. After this time you buy him shoes, then that's it. No argument. No faffing about.

I reckon he could get them on Vinted or Depop?
They might be slightly scruffy but use the pink stuff cleaning trick, it will probably work well enough.

My mum would probably say the same as you except that the ones she bought me from Clarks actually did give me blisters. I had to buy my own school shoes and really could have done with her at least not buying the pair that made my feet bleed and giving me the money towards the pair I ended up buying instead. She had some bizarre idea that if you bought shoes full price from Clarks they would be good quality and fit perfectly.

That said, nobody needs £200 trainers. I'm a well paid adult and I don't think I've ever spent £200 on a pair of shoes.

OP I'd just give your DS a budget to find some trainers and let him get on with it.

This

Or Facebook marketplace

Which ones is he after? Because the majority of Nikes are under 200. Does he have the money? (You mentioned Xmas money) if so I'd let him spend it and top up with 50 from you.