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Original poster

DS only wants 200 pound trainers

159 replies

Theblackdogagain · 08/04/2023 07:50

I'm at an impasse with my son. He's 13. I've never been into label's, stupid priced clothes or sports. My son has always cared about what he wore but recently he's in a group of friends that needs Nike trainers. His last pair were fila but now apparently that's not good enough. He's had his hair cut into a trendy cut at his insistence and I'm not against him finding his style but 200 is too much for trainers when his feet are still growing, he'll play football in them and wreck them and it's more than we spend on food in 2 weeks.
I've tried showing him shoes in the sale, looking at other makes and saying he needs to use some of his Christmas money to a maximum of 100 pounds. I'm really unreasonable.
Any ideas? Any websites I can use? I did get a puma tracksuit bottom and a Nike t shirt from costco do at least he has clothes on!
I'm not giving in on over 100 for trainers, the most expensive shows I've ever had were 40 and they were biker boots that still fit me :-)

OP posts:
KnittingNeedles · 08/04/2023 08:53

GlitteryFarts · 08/04/2023 08:50

There are some pretty convincing fakes out there these days...if you are that way inclined. Fooled my 15 year old at least. Although waiting for delivery can be annoying.

And that inconvenient thing of supporting organised crime gangs. 🙄

LazJaz · 08/04/2023 08:55

£100 for a 13th at olds trainers even seems loads to me!
I also don’t think you need to get into a discussion on how much the shoes are vs other spends. It is irrelevant- your money, your budget.

“DS, the budget is £XX. You can choose what you want up to this budget, sorry you think I’m unreasonable but it is my job to provide for all the family’s needs out of the money we earn- that means there have to be strict limits. This is how budgets work.
if you want something that’s more than this then it’s up to you to come up with more money to make up the difference. You can, for example, save Christmas money, or do odd jobs for people or a paper round etc.”

just leave it at that.

don’t get into “if you get them then I’ll owe you” - my parents did this with us, they were never paid back and my 30 year old brother is still
going to my parents for cash “to pay the bills” all the time - yet he spends on designer T shirts etc. don’t make this mistake

good luck!

hattie43 · 08/04/2023 08:57

No one should buy NIKE given they can't even find a woman to advertise their bra's

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EliflurtleTripanInfinite · 08/04/2023 08:58

Theblackdogagain · 08/04/2023 08:00

I've said no, don't worry about that. The issue is his trainers are falling apart and he needs new ones. I know nothing about trainers (I wear sketchers, second hand) and he has wide feet so everytime we go trainer shopping it ends in an argument and no trainers.

Give him the budget and he can do the work and try and find some shoes he wants within that price range. If he wants more expensive trainers he works or saves up or uses any current savings he has. If he refuses to buy something because he can't get what he's decided he should have the natural consequences are he keeps running round in falling apart trainers. He could be hoping you seeing his trainers like that will put pressure on you to give in, so don't. His choice and his consequences.

GoodChat · 08/04/2023 09:00

You said he can spend up to £100 of his Christmas money, so does he have more than that?

I'd just let him buy them himself without restrictions if he has the money.

Custardslices · 08/04/2023 09:01

Paper round can buy them himself.

Children must learn the value of money.

Disneyblueeyes · 08/04/2023 09:01

I bought some 2nd hand Nikes yesterday from Vinted, £60.
Worn twice.
I mean we'll see what they're like when they arrive, but the amount of money I've saved buying brand new shoes with tags from Vinted because the seller missed the return window...

Tell him it's that or nothing.

cherrypied · 08/04/2023 09:02

Agree absolutely - these can be fkr xmas or birthday!

Assuming wants the really expensive air Jordan high tops? These have a higher resale market so tell him not to play football in them

The outlet is good for cheaper Nike trainers and can get decent ones for £80

Whichnumbers · 08/04/2023 09:03

He wants them he needs to earn the money and pay for them

if of course he doesn’t want that type of trainer enough, he won’t work consistently for them

if he doesn’t want to spend his money, but yours….

IWineAndDontDine · 08/04/2023 09:06

Does he have a way to earn the money himself (chores, jobs for neighbours/friends)? Could be a good lesson in saving!

CleaningOutMyCloset · 08/04/2023 09:07

I give my dd a clothing allowance now, £40 per month. I buy all her schools clothes, shoes etc and she's now responsible for her own casual clothes. She wanted a pair of Nike Jordan's so she saved up her money, had a bit left over from birthday and spent ages finding the cheapest place to buy them.

Maybe you could try something similar?

I've also found that by doing this, she's far more careful with her big ticket items.

Freshlycutgrasss · 08/04/2023 09:08

Id give him my max budget (Id probably agree to £100) and say anything more than this he needs to pay for. Unfortunately my 3 DCs are all into branded trainers, trackies etc and they are correct that ALL their friends do have them (I checked).

By the age if 13 mine were only getting money for xmas and birthdays (their choice) so they were able to put their own money towards things they really wanted.

Now they are late teens, one regularly spends about £200 on a jumper!! But works part time so I dont have to fund it luckily.

AnnaMagnani · 08/04/2023 09:12

If he really wants it he can save up.

Back in the 90s I really really wanted something that cost £40, a fortune! I saved by walking to school and saving my 12p bus fare which took over a year and was also a valuable lesson in how money works. I still have the item even though I can't use it anymore, it's so important to me.

If he really wants it he can save or he can compromise or go without.

mamaduckbone · 08/04/2023 09:15

Having the 'right' trainers is so important at 13, but I agree that £200 is excessive when feet are still growing.

My ds13's last pair were £130. I paid £80, he paid £50 from his pocket money/birthday money.

That's always been my deal - I'll pay what I think is reasonable and they make up the rest. It's the same with clothes. Anything expensive is a present or we go halves.

Greengrassgone · 08/04/2023 09:18

Clothes can become really important at this age and trainers are a thing now. £100-150 Jordan's are a pretty normal run of the mill thing to be wearing.

It took me a while to get my head around it but that is what it is like for them these days and what the other kids are wearing. It's important to understand for your dc and not compare to our childhoods and dismiss their feelings.

Allthingsbrightandbeautifulx · 08/04/2023 09:19

Does it have to be Nike?
Tell him to look on the Adidas website. You can also Google a discount code. They’re usually between 10% - 30% off codes. Off sale and full price.

Neverhappyalwayshopeful · 08/04/2023 09:20

OP - do you have a link to the trainers he wants? I'm a bit of a trainer geek and have an almost 12 year old so perhaps I can try and suggest an alternative?

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 08/04/2023 09:21

Fwiw my ds has always worn Nike trainers, they aren't expensive at all. I usually pay around £40, he gets more expensive ones at Christmas, always in the sale tho and using my 25% off birthday code for signing up to their members Club.

Absolutely no way would I pay £200 for a pair tho, if he wants them he'll have to find a job to pay for them !!!

ImAvingOops · 08/04/2023 09:25

It's all very well for posters to say he can get Nike trainers for less than £200, which is true, but the problem is he's got his eye on specific ones. Fashion conscious kids want the exact pair, not just any old Nike ones.

But it is definitely not unreasonable to tell your child no. Or to give them a budget and make them pay the rest if what they want is double what you want to pay.
You have to stop thinking that just because your child wants something, you have to give it to them - he won't ever learn the value of money unless he has to spend his own from time to time!
Parents who just buy everything, end up with demanding, bratty kids who don't appreciate what they have.

If he won't choose, tell him he has a week to pick a pair otherwise you will choose and he can like it or lump it. Or let his existing trainers fall apart. When he has no shoes, he'll pick a pair!

AuditAngel · 08/04/2023 09:28

I have 12 and 16 year old DDs, I recently kitted the three of us out in Nike trainers for about £165, have a look at Lillywhites online, they are part of sports direct, so unfortunately you do have to pay delivery, but there seems to be more choice than sports direct.

and to the PP who paid £83 for Kickers school shoes, DDs Kickers school shoes are a year old and still look brand new

WandaWomblesaurus · 08/04/2023 09:30

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This. My teens friends are now boycotting Nike over this travesty. But yes, one look at DM prancing around like a deranged pony in Nikes might be enough.

DutchCowgirl · 08/04/2023 09:36

I always take my sons to an outletcentre when they have extra sale. They can then choose whatever shoe they see. Last time we were incredibly lucky; my eldest son choose a pair of 30£ 😅

IhavethisthingwhereIgetolderbutjustneverwiser · 08/04/2023 09:37

A) £200 is a ridiculous amount of money for a pair of trainers for a 13 year old

B) if he wants them, he needs to earn the equivalent of the difference between what you can afford and the price of the trainers he desires

Finally, and more importantly

C) sadly, in the area I live, wearing them will make him an easy target for mugging I'm afraid. Sad, but true. Not inner London.

JarByTheDoor · 08/04/2023 09:46

Nikes tend to fit narrow. He's going to be uncomfortable wearing ones bought according to fashion criteria, unless the model he likes has a wide fit option.