What is the most CF behaviour someone has shown when visiting your home?

[Imamumgetmeoutofhere]

Just that really......

Mine was a few years ago and I'm still whenever I think about it.

My youngest had started primary school a few months prior to the event and she had got a bit friendly with one of the other children in the class and as a result I had got to know their mum quite well, in terms of chatting in the playground anyway.

We had storm one morning on the school run and as it was much closer to my house than hers I invited her back for a cuppa till the storm passed. I put the kettle on to boil and then went to the loo, then had to take an "urgent" phone call from my eldest school for some reason or other, can't remember what exactly and it certainly wasn't an emergency.

When I was upstairs I heard some clattering around in the kitchen and then heard a sizzling noise.

When I went back downstairs she was frying bacon. She hadn't asked, I hadn't offered and it meant she had gone through my fridge and cupboards the first time she had been to my house. When I asked what she was doing she said she was hungry and hadn't eaten that day

Safe to say I didn't ask her to come back after that!!

What CF behaviours have others shown in your home?

When we decided to have a 3rd child we had to get a bigger car that would fit 3 carseats across. We ended up with a rather expensive brand new 7 seater suv, very nice and our only car. One of my husband's aquatances had had 2 children by 2 different women v close in age and had started dating another woman who also had a baby. He messaged my husband out the blue to say he'd planned a lovely day out at the safari park with his new gf and their 3 kids who were all under 3 and in carseats only they couldn't fit into either of their cars. He was so blasé and presumptuous how he phrased the message though. We have 1 car which my husband uses to get to work and also drop the kids off at nursery/school. The friend wanted to take our car that was a few months old and go to the safari park with it to impress new gf 🤣. Not quite sure how my husband was getting to work as it was a midweek day? My husband is a people pleaser and instead of just saying absolutely not, he said "I don't think you'll be covered on the insureance" to which cf replied he could be added easily and he'd looked into it 🤣. My husband did eventually grow a backbone and said "it doesn't work for us" but CF was very persistent. CF is expecting another child any day with new gf, I do wonder if he'll be messaging to borrow our car when they have all 4 with them 🙄😄?

We had a very small party for my DD in the garden at home for her 6th birthday. We had the house closed off, apart from the toilet, which is just inside the back door. One of the mothers insisted they needed to change their daughter before they left (even though they only live 5 minutes away), so I let them into the lounge and left them to it. Upon leaving the mother casually commented that she’d been around the house and taken some photos to show her husband, but hadn’t managed to make it upstairs. I think she was expecting me to give her a tour! I was so gobsmacked I didn’t know what to say, so just laughed and said goodbyes. For reference, we live in a very small and rundown farm cottage and they live in a beautiful, huge townhouse. Still to this day have no idea what that was all about, but she is definitely one of the 🦇 shit crazy mums at the school gate!!

Our baby was just a couple of weeks old. A couple of 'friends' came round to see us. After a while one of them proceeded to to cut his toenails in front of us. What the heck was that about? No words.

I have two about our house viewers.

First was a set of parents with their son, who would have been buying the house. Later that night our phone rang and it was the mum asking how much we'd accept to sell.
We couldn't understand how they got our number and then realised they'd copied it from the phone upstairs. It was in the days you had your number on a little bit of card inserted into the front of the phone.

The other was the person who bought the house. She came with her seven year old niece for a last viewing before signing the contract.
They went upstairs and I heard, thud, thud, thud.
When they came downstairs, she informed me she'd got the niece to jump up and down to test the floorboards 🫤

You win... 😱

Years ago, I shared a flat for a time with my then bf and another couple (bf had been to school with the male and they were old friends.)
This couple were nice enough but they were friends with another couple who gave off bad vibes. The bad vibe couple were a posh rich hippy and he was a sort of Hells angel who sat and glared and barely spoke. They spent all their time smoking a bong. They started to spend more and more time visiting and taking over the living room.

Over Christmas I went on holiday with my family and my bf went home to see his family. ( We were both from the north so travelled back 200 miles.)
We drove back together in January and it took ages due to the distance. We were exhausted and wanted to go straight to bed. We went into our room and the weird couple were asleep in our bed. They had effectively moved in and she had actually put her sodding PLANTS and bongs all around our room! We were gobsmacked and bf had to wake them up. She just said “ Oh sorry, we’ll just get our shit together.”
They then went and sat in the living room and spent the next few hours trying to convince the other couple to let them move in and effectively squat because they were skint.
Bf took his friend to one side and said he wanted them out and the couple refused to leave for ages and tried their best to move themselves in and us out. It was horrendous.

Must have been an omen as about a month later we split up and I moved back home because I hated it there!

BIL was getting married. Sent the invite to cf relative asking to rsvp with their choice from the pre arranged menu. Cf relative crossed out the entire menu and wrote her own 3 courses that she wanted serving 😂

Thinking about it,I'm a magnet for cfs

Ages ago,a work colleague who became a mate,asked if she and her staffie could come for coffee

I love dogs so yep,no problem-only I didn't know that she can't be arsed to train him

She knocked on my door-i opened it to the most god awful pong,honestly I nearly vomited

The dog shot past me and jumped up on my brand new sofa

She started laughing-'oh don't mind him!he's been rolling in fox shit!'

I chucked them both out-who does that?
I'm in mo way house proud but fox shit?!

Same woman texted me ages ago to ask if I'd have him for the night as she was working (she just leaves him overnight normally) as 'He needs a shampoo and set'

In other words,'give him a bath and I'll pick him up once he smells nice again'

She got funny with me when I said no,she can bathe her own dog

This sort of thing always really annoys me.

Let the kids play with one another, you don't have to drop everything and be their playmate while you're socialising with another adult.

Nope , it's clear enough to me , I hope the nasty bastard tripped and fell often

My MIL used to pick my children up from school as I was working. I came home earlier one day, let myself in and she was having a bath! I felt embarrassed for her and let myself out !🤣She hadn’t heard me over the sound of the running water.
When I returned later, I realised that she had completely erased any sign of the bath having been filled etc, and with a little more investigation I discovered that her wet towel was in a bag in her car!
I’ve often wondered what else she got up to and strongly suspect that she used the washing machine too. Neighbour told me that she always washed her car. She was on a water meter at the time.
If she had asked, she would have been more than welcome to use our things. It just left a bit of a bad taste tbh

See, I just don't understand this or many of the stories told here.

I just don't understand why you would sit there and not say anything... I'd be like "what the actual fuck do you think you're playing at?"

I feel there must be more context to these stories or a lot of artistic licence at play!

My OH and I had just ordered a take away Indian meal for delivery on a Friday night. We'd been rather 'generous' with a few extra side dishes, dips, nails, the works and was looking forward to pigging out with a movie.
Hear a knock on the door at around 8:45 and his brother walks straight in (that's another story) and says he's just popped in to say hello (not unsusual). I tell him that we'll be watching a film soon but are getting a takeaway. Not realising we've already ordered he says "oh I don't have money for a takeaway' so I say, no worries, its actually due any minute now but we've ordered plenty and he's welcome to join us.
Anyway Indian arrives I have cartons everywhere and go to get a 3rd plate out and divi up. I also reheat something in microwave So 3 of us in the kitchen going back n forth to living room with drinks, cutlery etc when brother asks if we have cling film. Just stick it in for 2 mins, it'll be fine.....but no, he's not looking to warm anything up...
He stands at the door to the hallway and says "I was only popping in. I'm stuffed. I had a huge lasagne earlier (pats belly).I'm on a 10pm shift tonight so I'll have this for my lunch tomorrow beings ive eaten all the lasagne.This'll save me cooking".
He then walks out of the house with a huge dinner and tells my OH he'll drop the plate off tomorrow!
I completely get OP saying she buttered bread. I was so confused I really didn't know what to say so just watched as he sauntered off with my dinner. I thought I must have got something wrong. OH just cringed n explained his brother can be odd at times and offered me an onion bargee

Relative stranger? She starts her post saying long term friend…

This has tickled me!!😂

That's on you. You should have taken the food off them

Had a friend round, who ended up saying the night (didn't want to go home in the rain!). They took my prepared salad from my fridge (was accounted for in my meal plans), made a sandwich with it, decided they didn't like it so chucked the lot on top the dirty dishes in my sink. They also did the same with a posh hot chocolate I was saving. So bread, salad and hot chocolate on top dirty dishes.
They also raided my tub of Celebrations and took half of them home.

Sil brought a bin bag full of recycling to put in our blue bin as bil forgot/couldn't be arsed to take their bin out and missed the collection.Didnt ask just tipped it in

DH and I had a really weird experience when we were relocating about 15 years ago. It was a seller's market at the time and things were being sold while we were on the train coming for viewings so we knew we had to act quickly.

Anyway, we went to view this house and it was all rather odd because the estate agent was being a bit weird about 'co-ordinating' the viewings and we didn't quite know what that meant.

As it turned out the retired couple who lived in the house wanted to be there so that they could sit us down to 'interview' us. It was really odd because it was the middle of summer but we got ushered into the lounge where they made a big show of how cosy the very bog standard gas fire they had blazing was.

Then proceeded to ask us what we did for a living, what we liked about the house etc etc.

DH and I both thought the house was gopping and were literally hiding in the en suite way from the agent making "fuck no" faces at each other as we were going round.

Anyway, the cheekiest part was this - this couple had put their house on the market while they were waiting for their new home in a new build retirement village to be built. So they expected us to make an offer, sell our flat then move into rented accommodation for an unknown period of time, perhaps 6-12 months while we waited for them to move on.

God knows if they ever sold it.

My now ex-MIL thought I was the CF. I was quite young when I was dating her son and just behaved in a way that was acceptable for my boyfriend to behave with my family. His family operated very differently and she bore grudges for years which only came to light when her son and I were breaking up.

My crimes were

• helping myself to some breakfast cereal (which had been offered earlier in the day when I wasn't hungry, so I had some a few hours later)
• putting my bags in the guest room I had always stayed in when visiting for the last 5 years without checking first. There was nowhere else I could have been sleeping though, they only had one spare room.
• getting out of bed too late in the morning. I got up at the same time as my BF and they didn't communicate to me any need to be up by any particular time.

Both those things would have been total non-events to my parents but hey.

When we had moved into a new house a friend came round to have a look/nosey with her children, about 8 and 10. They were fairly bored so I asked if they would like to sort the big strawberry patch, it meant just poking the runners into the soft soil to create more plants for next year. Oh, no, they didn't want to do that and friend said they shouldn't do anything they didn't want to.
Fast forward 12 months same kids came round, Mum's sent up to get some strawberries, she said you have loads! Naturally I had none spare.
The same friend declined to come blackberrying because 'I'm so particular about my hands getting scratched', 10 minutes after I arrived home with loads of blackberries and scratches she was round to 'get her blackberries', she couldn't understand that there were none spare.

Just had to Google what gopping means 😂

What heresy is this? Butter on a bacon butty? Are you actually insane, everyone knows it’s warburtons white bread, folded, never cut, and HP sauce.

That’s just Batshit!

I appreciate the mother's behaviour was CF however many children probably soil their pants but aren't referenced in such a derogatory terms (the second last sentence).