What is the most CF behaviour someone has shown when visiting your home?

[Imamumgetmeoutofhere]

Just that really......

Mine was a few years ago and I'm still whenever I think about it.

My youngest had started primary school a few months prior to the event and she had got a bit friendly with one of the other children in the class and as a result I had got to know their mum quite well, in terms of chatting in the playground anyway.

We had storm one morning on the school run and as it was much closer to my house than hers I invited her back for a cuppa till the storm passed. I put the kettle on to boil and then went to the loo, then had to take an "urgent" phone call from my eldest school for some reason or other, can't remember what exactly and it certainly wasn't an emergency.

When I was upstairs I heard some clattering around in the kitchen and then heard a sizzling noise.

When I went back downstairs she was frying bacon. She hadn't asked, I hadn't offered and it meant she had gone through my fridge and cupboards the first time she had been to my house. When I asked what she was doing she said she was hungry and hadn't eaten that day

Safe to say I didn't ask her to come back after that!!

What CF behaviours have others shown in your home?

@ttcat37 sadly no. He took hours to go though and it was awful to witness. I really, really hope that lad got some painful permanent effects from his tripping and falling that night. He was horrible in every sense.

Just remembered another one couldn't resist telling that happened at my friend's house. We went for curry at a friend's house, a group of us had been invited over. She cooked a few main dishes and asked if people could bring sides dishes to contribute if they felt like it. We all brought various things. One particular friend who is known for being tigg made a couple of curries, then after dinner he proceeded to charge everyone for the amount he spent even though we'd all contributed and it wasn't even his house. The leftovers then got packed away and the host was looking forward to have it for her dinner the next day. She as left with all the mess etc as she'd hosted. Anyway whilst he was at work he came over (flatmate let him in) and took the leftovers home for himself ! Couldn't believe it when she told me

Oh that’s awful. What a nasty fucker.

An old friend of mine was due to water our plants when we were on holiday. She was very keen to do the job.
It turned out that she was having an affair and was using our room for this purpose.

Our neighbours heard the noise and I had a chat. They didn't even have the decency to change the sheets!

BIL is a cunty fucker. Not a typo. Will get up early to have a nice long shower using all the hot water (we had 14 staying), make himself toast and drink a gallon of orange juice (none left for anyone else), always say he'd forgot what he was supposed to be bringing and go and open the wine fridge laughing that he was going to choose the most expensive bottle. He'd then sit back and eat the proper cooked breakfast after half a loaf of toast and complain that we were cooking bacon in the house when they're Muslim. Not Muslim enough not to drink you fucker.

One Christmas when we were on the bones of our arse but had the only house which was big enough for everyone we said we wouldn't be able to host unless everyone chipped in, he came, acted like the entitled arse he is and then refused to contribute, MIL ended up chipping in for his family. But when we used to go to his he'd pick us up from the train and take us straight to the supermarket to do the shop for the weekend and stand there waiting for DH to pay. His wife would even say in her language "Ask your brother for the money" thinking we couldn't understand what she was saying. They always took us to the expensive organic grocery but usually shopped at the big bargain supermarket so we're just using us to stock up on special bits that they then wouldn't serve whilst we were there.

One year we visited around his birthday and he asked us to buy him a flat screen TV. It had been my birthday a week before and he bought me a book!

They ordered Chinese to eat at ours once and didn't realise the special fried rice had pork in so once it was plated up (by them) just flicked the offending bits off of their plates onto the table and carried on eating. Then just sat there at the end of the meal as I cleaned it all up.

He for some reason takes a long time in the loo and uses a hand towel and half a bottle of shower gel to wash himself. I didn't ask what he washed 🤢

Asked DH one day if he let me win a game of scrabble on the night he wanted to get laid as I wasn't clever enough to actually win.

He also thinks passing you his plate is as helpful as he needs to be. I told them that they all needed to help or wouldn't be invited back and he looked around and smirked and said "how much do you think we want to come back, Enough to do the washing up?" I said don't bother you'll never fucking be asked again and he had never stepped foot across my threshold again.

He even suggested coming to work in this country for a year and getting a job near us and sending his child to a school near us so he could stay in our house. Proper socialist twat always raving on about those that had more money (us) but would have been a private school where he'd get a discount.

Sorry a bit long (and not just in my home) but my hate if him runs rather deep. DH finally grew a backbone and backed me up when I told him I'd divorce him if he didn't.

Sister-in-law came to stay with her dh and their young son, all good, except she turned up with a kitten and their au pair! I'm not sure who was more miffed, me or my dog!

I just died of embarrassment on their behalf. Makes me feel a bit less embarrassed about awkward moments I've had at work. Thats hilariously rude!! Did you say something??

Went for dinner at colleagues house. Another colleague came and made another main course and forced it on everybody on the side, didn’t match the main course. She did it as she wanted to show off what an amazing cook she was, unfortunately it was shit (and she was rude).

I swerved CFs. DH was literally just out of hospital was on a lot of medication and could not stay awake for any length of time.
DHs friend was in the area on holiday and wanted to come visit, fine as assumed it was just him and he might cope with that, offered to pick him up from wherever rest of his family was.
No, they all wanted to come for lunch and a ‘look around’. They were friend, his wife, their 3
teenage children, 2 massive dogs, his in laws (we didn’t know), his SIL and BIL (didn’t know) and their 3 teenage children. So 12 of them and 2 dogs.
I said no, DH was v v unwell and didn’t want to see strangers and no way could I go shopping and make food for 12. I also told them the dogs weren’t welcome as I have 2 nervous cats and DD hates big dogs. They weren’t pleased.

Anyone else need more info on what tripping and falling means? @ThisIsWednesday

I don't think it really needs clarification does it? 🙄

Other peoples children - riffling instantly through all our drawers. Demanding access to locked rooms. Helping themselves to whatever they can touch in anyone's rooms.

This is why we no longer do play dates/offer emergency childcare to certain friends.

I had recently moved in with my now-husband. 1 bed flat. He had invited a couple of friends to stay 'for a few days'. I said OK, like a fool.
They (man and woman) stayed 10 excruciating days. They did not attempt to speak to me hardly at all. She rearranged my fridge for all HER stuff that she went out and bought on arrival despite me stocking up, and she hogged the tiny kitchen making REALLY smelly fish sandwiches.
The icing on the cake was her husband walking into my bedroom and shitting in the ensuite at 2am.
There is more but my blood still boils thinking of them.

Some of these are absolutely hilarious.

I lived for a few years in a popular tourist destination town. I had lots of space and sometimes took tenants.

My (serious CF) friend arranged to visit with her new boyfriend for a weekend. We went out to a gig and met up with some of their friends, also visiting the city. Afterwards we went for a drink or twenty then one of the friends earnestly thanked me for saying they could stay in my other guest room. I certainly had not, the other two rooms were rented. It didn't go down well especially when I shook my head at the reassurance they'd be fine on my couch.

Friend and her boyfriend were staying a second night so I showed them around and took them out to dinner to a nice but inexpensive local restaurant. I would have cooked but didn't feel like bothering. I assumed they'd reciprocate by buying the drinks afterwards but nope, they got their own and that was that.

We went back to my house and decided to stay up for a bit. New boyfriend said he had a bottle of whiskey. I got some mixer, snacks, set up the sitting room, music, fire and noticed he had gotten two glasses for the whiskey - him and girlfriend but none for me the host.

They were supposed to stay till the next evening but I packed them off first thing in the morning saying I was too busy.

A mum from baby group once asked me if she could have an IKEA desk delivered to my house, as at the time IKEA wouldn't deliver to them (they lived on an odd estate cottage sort of setup and it didn't like their postcode). She would then pick it up from me.
I said fine.
It arrived, she came the next day with her husband. It quickly transpired they had not a clue how to build it and had never touched a flat pack anything in their lives. I'm a dab hand at it and I said OK look, you have a giant car that it will fit in fully built, how about I show you how to put it together here. Both very grateful.
Until what actually happened was I put the damn thing together, which turned out to be a right faff as it had all these little hinged drawers, the two of them sat and watched while eating all my crisps, and the husband- who I had never met in my life before - went on a lengthy rant about how hopeless medical care in this country is, how doctors are completely inadequately trained compared to his home country, and quizzed me on why GPs wouldn't give his 1 year old antibiotics for a runny nose. For reference, I am a doctor but not a GP. He then stood in front of my bookshelves and recited "rubbish, rubbish, decent, rubbish" going through all my books. I was so taken aback I didn't really say anything! The wife was silent.
I really hope he trapped his fingers in the stupid little hinged drawers on his new desk...

I really, really don't want to believe that ANYONE behaves so badly.

Not as bad as some others. My oldest was in nursery so had a chilled day planned. CF turned up out of the blue with a young school child, encourages child to play with almost every toy, well not really playing just tipping out and moving on, they found this funny and almost egged child on pointing out 'new' things, every inch of carpet covered in scattered books and toys, then after a while said we will see ourselves out, no offer to assist in tidying...I was less than a week post-birth of my second child recovering with stitches and was left with a bombsite to clear and had to kick things side to side just to make a pathway to get out.

Oh my god, your brother is just as bad! Did you take the key off her/change the locks?

I live in a tourist area.

I have had every single cheeky fucker in the building.

• the person who invited themselvs to stay for 3 weeks (all friends of DH so free) who brought only a single watermelon as the 'hostess gift' and then ate it themselves
• the people who invited themselves and 11 (read - 11- of their friends to stay and who we found out later the original person was subletting and was paid £50 a night. We had welcomed them as CF1 was 'family' and the3 event was a stag night
• the person who stayed with their 5 year old and 3 year old and who we exoected the wife to stay as well and turned up up on his own with children and who said that 'mummy was having a weekend off' and then left with DH for an overnight cycling and campng trip and left me with our two DCs and their two Dcs... the oldest of who was scared and incontinent and who crawled into bed with me and pissed all over me

there is more. So much more.

Suffice it to say that menopause has been a blessing for me and an alarm for DHs various friends because I have very seriously lost my temper last year and none of the above wilo ever happeb again

This is why we don't have guests . If we meet up with anyone it is out somewhere!

Another one that is a family joke

My grandparents on my father's side-my grandma had 2 sisters

I'm guessing one died,then so did grandma-leaving one (who died before I was born)

She would come and grace my grandads house once a year (just after Xmas I think)

They'd have a cuppa and she would excuse herself to use the bathroom

Seconds later,grandad would hear drawers/wardrobe doors/the ottoman lid being opened and closed

She'd be up there for at least 15 minutes-then she'd come down and leave

My mother would then get the phone call-'Nancy's been round again!'

Never did figure out what it was she was looking for!

Home after our first child was born by emergency c section. I was pretty anaemic due to the birth shenanigans. In laws came to visit with nothing, no gift, fair enough they’d travelled a long way. DH defrosted some soup from my batch cooking for our lunch and pooped it on to warm so we could all eat. FIL shouts from the kitchen while I’m feeding DS “how much soup in each bowl goodenoughmum88”? While DH is out getting some bread rolls to go with. I under the baby feeding him.

Irrationally ragey even now. They were the only people who showed up with nothing and needed looking after and so much instruction…🙄🤣🤦‍♀️

My FIL did something similar. I had a premie, we were in SCBU for weeks. FIL came to stay a few times after DS came home, throughout my mat leave as his partner had left him. Used to demand cups of coffee, ask me what was for breakfast,lunch,dinner, wash his underwear and leave it on my livingroom radiator, and the pièce de résistance was when he called me just as I was leaving my sister's at about 7pm after babysitting her kids (they lived a 40min drive away) and asked me to get him a takeaway on the way home..... this being at a point where DS, at about 3months old would sleep in the car, but if disturbed would wake and be incredibly unsettled. No was the answer. DS was a very, very fussy baby with constant reflux, I had PND and PTSD from the whole experience and the last thing I needed was a big man baby to look after as well. Thankfully DH backed me up, and FIL was put in a hotel for future visits.

I had a friend/probably acquaintance more, she was broke and fed up, stupid me felt a bit sorry for her.
I paid for a holiday for her, us going together for a week abroad. She lived on the other side of the country so we were catching seperate flights (which I'd paid for) because she had no money (she said).

I met her at the airport (our flights arrived within an hour of each other). I'd paid for the car hire to get to the apartment. She'd bought hardly any euros with for the whole week, self catering, meals out, drinks.

What finally did it was when she was unpacking.... and she got out a bag with a skirt in it... and squealed... "do you like my skirt I bought at the airport? It was only £90!!"

I've never paid that much for a skirt myself, ever! She not a friend or an acquaintance any more! CF.

I got the keys off her,changed the locks and went nc with the lot of them

It's a mystery (to them) why

A few weeks later,she lost her engagement ring-a pawn slip showed up made out to (say) S Smith (not real name)

My ds's name starts with an s,so she had the utter nerve to try to contact me to tell me she had not only stolen it,but had pawned it

We will turn a blind eye to the fact the same brothers name also starts with an s and we share the same surname

People still believe my dd stole and sold her ring even though she was 9 years old at the time...

I hate entitlement around food more than anything else. Ex DP had friends like this. Once I had bought a box of 12 assorted Krispy Kreme doughnuts for when friends came to a party , friend of ex DP came over and kept hinting. I said what they were for and then I went out. When I came back, he had kept pressuring him and then he caged and the friend ate 3!!!
I was so livid and it was the start of the ick with how weak ex DP was. This friend was very wealthy so was entitled and spoilt