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Original poster

What is the most CF behaviour someone has shown when visiting your home?

1000 replies

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 06/04/2023 18:28

Just that really......

Mine was a few years ago and I'm still Confused whenever I think about it.

My youngest had started primary school a few months prior to the event and she had got a bit friendly with one of the other children in the class and as a result I had got to know their mum quite well, in terms of chatting in the playground anyway.

We had storm one morning on the school run and as it was much closer to my house than hers I invited her back for a cuppa till the storm passed. I put the kettle on to boil and then went to the loo, then had to take an "urgent" phone call from my eldest school for some reason or other, can't remember what exactly and it certainly wasn't an emergency.

When I was upstairs I heard some clattering around in the kitchen and then heard a sizzling noise.

When I went back downstairs she was frying bacon. She hadn't asked, I hadn't offered and it meant she had gone through my fridge and cupboards the first time she had been to my house. When I asked what she was doing she said she was hungry and hadn't eaten that day Confused

Safe to say I didn't ask her to come back after that!!

What CF behaviours have others shown in your home?

OP posts:
woodhill · 09/04/2023 17:05

I think it was the host's birthday though

SaySomethingMan · 09/04/2023 17:05

Madamecastafiore · 06/04/2023 20:52

BIL is a cunty fucker. Not a typo. Will get up early to have a nice long shower using all the hot water (we had 14 staying), make himself toast and drink a gallon of orange juice (none left for anyone else), always say he'd forgot what he was supposed to be bringing and go and open the wine fridge laughing that he was going to choose the most expensive bottle. He'd then sit back and eat the proper cooked breakfast after half a loaf of toast and complain that we were cooking bacon in the house when they're Muslim. Not Muslim enough not to drink you fucker.

One Christmas when we were on the bones of our arse but had the only house which was big enough for everyone we said we wouldn't be able to host unless everyone chipped in, he came, acted like the entitled arse he is and then refused to contribute, MIL ended up chipping in for his family. But when we used to go to his he'd pick us up from the train and take us straight to the supermarket to do the shop for the weekend and stand there waiting for DH to pay. His wife would even say in her language "Ask your brother for the money" thinking we couldn't understand what she was saying. They always took us to the expensive organic grocery but usually shopped at the big bargain supermarket so we're just using us to stock up on special bits that they then wouldn't serve whilst we were there.

One year we visited around his birthday and he asked us to buy him a flat screen TV. It had been my birthday a week before and he bought me a book!

They ordered Chinese to eat at ours once and didn't realise the special fried rice had pork in so once it was plated up (by them) just flicked the offending bits off of their plates onto the table and carried on eating. Then just sat there at the end of the meal as I cleaned it all up.

He for some reason takes a long time in the loo and uses a hand towel and half a bottle of shower gel to wash himself. I didn't ask what he washed 🤢

Asked DH one day if he let me win a game of scrabble on the night he wanted to get laid as I wasn't clever enough to actually win.

He also thinks passing you his plate is as helpful as he needs to be. I told them that they all needed to help or wouldn't be invited back and he looked around and smirked and said "how much do you think we want to come back, Enough to do the washing up?" I said don't bother you'll never fucking be asked again and he had never stepped foot across my threshold again.

He even suggested coming to work in this country for a year and getting a job near us and sending his child to a school near us so he could stay in our house. Proper socialist twat always raving on about those that had more money (us) but would have been a private school where he'd get a discount.

Sorry a bit long (and not just in my home) but my hate if him runs rather deep. DH finally grew a backbone and backed me up when I told him I'd divorce him if he didn't.

Fwiw, I know lots of muslims who drink but don’t eat pork. I figure it’s not my place to decide where they draw their line.

If he’s your DH’s brother, then surely he’s expected to understand the language his brother and wife share, as it’s his language too?

Your DH light come to resent you if you’ve made him cut contact when he didn’t want to, if he’s not toxic.

I’d leave your DH to host them if they visit instead of banning them from his brother’s home, especially as he lives abroad. Maintaining long distant family relationships can be pretty challenging.

SaySomethingMan · 09/04/2023 17:09

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/04/2023 13:05

Don't apologise - You were absolutely right. Have PM'd you.

Thank you.

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This has made me very happy. @Emotionalsupportviper and @Softsoftsleep , a lovely exchange of learning and embracing. I’m all warm and fuzzy inside 🥰

Antiquiteas · 09/04/2023 17:26

HowdidImanagetohavetwoaccountaandthenloseboth · 09/04/2023 16:44

Do you mean the “derailing” Christians; “nearly derailing” witches or the CFs ? Grin

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‘The derailing Christians’ 😆

harriethoyle · 09/04/2023 17:31

Softsoftsleep · 09/04/2023 05:25

I really don't like anyone using Jesus' name as a swear word or even an exclamation. I understand when non believers do it, as they have no reverence for the name, but as believers, we should. The phrase 'Jesus wept' has such Biblical depth and the thought of our Lord's deep, profound emotion being reduced to a synonym for 'wow!' makes me really uncomfortable. As I said, I could really understand a non believer using this term (many of my family and friends don't believe, so I hear Jesus' name reduced to a swear word a lot). However, to hear it coming from someone who claims to be a Christian minister is really difficult to comprehend, especially one who was criticising others for buffet Christianity (a point I do agree with). I'm sorry for something of a derail, but this just didn't sit right with me at all.

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I really don't like anyone policing other people's vocabulary and trying to impose their beliefs. It's totally inappropriate. Wind your supercilious neck in.

harriethoyle · 09/04/2023 17:35

@Emotionalsupportviper you are EXACTLY the kind of minister I have wanted, and needed, at different times in my life. I would far rather a minister who was real and human and flawed and complex, as we all are, than some mealy mouthed slang corrector. Please don't tone yourself down for anyone.

Madamecastafiore · 09/04/2023 17:56

Saysomethingman no it's the language of his brothers wife, we both understand enough to know what she's saying.

It just took a while for DH to realise what a CF he is, I don't want him in our house but I'm happy for DH and the kids to go visit him, I'm just not being disrespected in my own home.

In my view don't moan about us doing some things that are forbidden by your religion (in our house where we follow a different religion) if you are also picking which bits of that religion to follow.

Greenpolkadot · 09/04/2023 17:57

Had a friend who had 3 ds,,,they were demons,
She asked me if i would look after them for an hour one day while she visited her grandad,
Aparantly the dgrd didnt want the her kids there because they were so unruly,
I thought fair enough.its only an hour,,,The were terrible,,broke stuff,,,pulled up plants in my garden Threw soil at the neighbours
She was gone all day...She breezes in at around 5pm wanting to know if iv fed them..

CF strikes again ,
I was away overnight and asked her to feed the cat.
When i arrive home the next day there is black marks all over my bedroom wall,
Turns out she'd decided to bring back a bloke she'd picked up and have a shag in my bed..during the day
They fell asleep,,meanwhile her dh had decided to see what she was upto and climbed in through an open window and caught them , Waking the bloke up with a punch.
A big scuffle happens...stuff everywhere,
Days later her DH's mother if voicing off to all who'll listen that its MY fault her DS had the dirty done to him

ifIwerenotanandroid · 09/04/2023 18:07

KettrickenSmiled · 09/04/2023 14:46

This might all be totally reasonable and I’m just hungry. We’ll see how I feel after I’ve eaten.

Aaaaaw @TheLightSideOfTheMoon
Strongly suggest you eat ALL the marmalade.

Or serve up marmalade toast to MIL every meal. "Well, none of us likes it, so we need to get rid of it by the time you go home."

Obki · 09/04/2023 18:37

harriethoyle · 09/04/2023 17:31

I really don't like anyone policing other people's vocabulary and trying to impose their beliefs. It's totally inappropriate. Wind your supercilious neck in.

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I’m not Christian but I do think it’s odd that people like you say things like Jesus Fucking Christ, etc.

Just stick to your fucking and cunts and dick heads, why bring Jesus into it? You don’t believe in him so why pick on him?

Why not Adolf Fucking Hitler or something?

woodhill · 09/04/2023 18:54

Exactly

And why is it only him and not anyone else from a different religion who gets used as a swear word

GhostOrchid · 09/04/2023 18:58

Not really that cheeky but we were asked, via my SIL, if we could put up an old friend of hers from Germany and his two kids (a boy, then about 15 and a girl, then about 11) for a couple of nights as they wanted to go sightseeing in London. We said no problem at all, but the message came that they required separate sleeping arrangements: there could be no sharing of rooms or beds. We have a spare room with a double bed in it and another that is used as office but you could put an airbed down. And there are sofas in the living room. We also realised we didn’t have enough bedding so panicked a bit and ended up spending about £200 on a brand new airbed, duvets of assorted sizes, pillows and bedding. When they arrived they’d changed their mind about the sleeping arrangements and were happy to all go in together in the spare room, so our new purchases went unused. They’re still there, taking up lots of storage space.

to be fair, they were no trouble at all, were ridiculously impressed with the bogstandard local Indian restaurant we took them to and had brought us gifts. Beer for my husband, a box of herbal teabags for me, which I was a little nonplussed by.

Angiemum24 · 09/04/2023 19:14

Thank you. It sent nice.

Angiemum24 · 09/04/2023 19:15

*isn't

Angiemum24 · 09/04/2023 19:17

Allergictoironing · 09/04/2023 09:57

I am Pagan, and have to put up with people using the term "witch" to describe nasty and/or evil women, as an insult. If I wanted, I could take real offence at this but I just let it wash over me as I know it's just a figure of speech. But it's a stereotyping figure of speech implying that all witches are evil, and can lead to discrimination and sometimes worse.

At least the name of your deity is usually being used as an exclamation, not a profanity. I'm not sure, but I've always assumed the phrase "Jesus wept" was a shortened form of saying something was bad enough to make Jesus weep - maybe taking his name in vain there but not really using it as a swear word. I know my mother, a very devout (but quiet about it) person never took offence to the use of Jesus as an exclamation, even heard her say it herself a few times.

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Agreed

Bleachmycloths · 09/04/2023 19:23

KnitFastDieWarm1 · 09/04/2023 12:29

My ex bf's DS 13 used to kick my front door instead of knocking when they visited. When I suggested he tell his son to not kick my door, he got defensive and told me not to criticise his parenting.
The son refused to drink out of my mugs (clean but admittedly tea-stained) as they were 'dirty' . He then examined all my mugs with a look of disgust. Ex bf is just standing there saying 'eeeeh, whats he like.' Hes a fucking brat, that's what.

Tea stained mugs are not clean. Yuk. Drop a Steradent tablet into each cup, fill with hot water, leave for 20 minutes, voilà! Clean mugs. 😊

WickedSerious · 09/04/2023 19:25

Antiquiteas · 09/04/2023 17:26

‘The derailing Christians’ 😆

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An excellent name for a band.

Olinguita · 09/04/2023 19:27

A relative used a kitchen measuring jug out of our kitchen to wash her bum after going to the toilet.

GhostOrchid · 09/04/2023 19:29

My experience is kind of the opposite of this thread and I get more annoyed when aren’t generous enough or are poor hosts. I’m from a family where ostentatious over catering is the norm but my in laws are rather reserved and parsimonious in their habits. I remember once, years ago, we drove over to see them. It’s about a three hour drive and I think we were late because of traffic and arrived rather frazzled and hungry and looking forward to lunch. Lunch was all laid out in the dining room and was a single rasher of bacon each, a few slices of avocado and two slices of Hovis each which we were to assemble into sandwiches. And that was it.

An old Uni friend of my husband’s, who is loaded, invited us over to their Maida Vale pad for dinner. We very much enjoyed our starter of a small plate of hummus with some olives and peppers on top. It was super embarrassing when we asked what was next. That was dinner. We’ve not been invited back.

”Am I to take it there will be no side dishes” is the motto of my life.

Bleachmycloths · 09/04/2023 19:30

Olinguita · 09/04/2023 19:27

A relative used a kitchen measuring jug out of our kitchen to wash her bum after going to the toilet.

Steradent tablets? Lol 🤣

Angiemum24 · 09/04/2023 19:40

Olinguita · 09/04/2023 19:27

A relative used a kitchen measuring jug out of our kitchen to wash her bum after going to the toilet.

Sorry, what!?

ReadersD1gest · 09/04/2023 19:42

Olinguita · 09/04/2023 19:27

A relative used a kitchen measuring jug out of our kitchen to wash her bum after going to the toilet.

How did you find out? 🤮

TeaIsRisen · 09/04/2023 19:57

Oh, I have a marmalade story!

A few years ago the organisation I was working for arranged a group trip for a bunch of us to a seaside festival linked to our work. They rented a huge house for all of us. I hope that makes it qualify for the 'in your house' remit!

When we arrived three of us went to the supermarket to buy supplies (company paying for everything), and one woman, Margaret, announced that she wanted marmalade. We went to look at the marmalade and Margaret made a big show of trying to weigh up the slightly more expensive marmalade versus the cheapest one, and stood in front of the marmalade shelf for about ten minutes, trying to decide which one to buy, while making passive aggressive comments about how expensive the slightly more expensive marmalade was but how she really didn't like the slightly cheaper marmalade nearly as much . Finally the other person got impatient and plonked the more expensive marmalade into the trolley.

For the entire rest of the week Margaret didn't open the marmalade, but shot death glares at everyone who touched or even looked at it. So no one opened the marmalade. It became a running joke: Margaret and her precioussss marmalade.

On the last morning, one of the other women got fed up of the whole thing and boldly... opened the marmalade! Margaret nearly dropped dead of shock.

I still have no idea what that was all about. Maybe she wanted to lightly scam the company into buying a jar of marmalade for her to take home? No one would have minded her taking the rest of the jar home.

AppallinglyReheated · 09/04/2023 19:59

Antiquiteas · 09/04/2023 08:04

This definitely also happened at other peoples houses... though... no one we knew (to my knowledge) lived in a small new build. Small cottages yes, rambling weird rural properties, large period properties but no super modern ones, no...

What an enjoyably typical Mumsnetty flex 😆

It was the 1980s and my parents didn't know anyone to visit that lived in such a property. Fast forward to the mid 90s and we did, but either the trend for 'having the full tour' was long gone or we knew such people so well such an invite wasn't necessary.

My parents were middle class boomers *(well nearly, '41 and '43) - so sue me!

Also possibly relevant, my DF was an architect, the 1980s was a period when all his friends were settling into (or had just saved up to renovate) the homes they'd fix up and raise kids in, so the invites for the full tour may well have been for 'so would you knock this down, move that, put a window in there' type purposes - I dunno, I was somewhere between 0 and 9 years old!

I used to invite folk for a tour of my dads house, its a weird and rambly barn conversion in a rather 'Mrs Weasely' style, but I wouldn't at my house, its a three bed ex council terrace, there are no interesting features or unusual floor plan or anything of note (except the absolute TONS of shit I store in it).

supersop60 · 09/04/2023 20:08

Angiemum24 · 09/04/2023 19:40

Sorry, what!?

Show quote history

At work, one of the cubicles in the ladies loo always has a jug of warm water for this purpose. I'm guessing that some people prefer it to using loo roll

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