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Original poster

What is the most CF behaviour someone has shown when visiting your home?

1000 replies

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 06/04/2023 18:28

Just that really......

Mine was a few years ago and I'm still Confused whenever I think about it.

My youngest had started primary school a few months prior to the event and she had got a bit friendly with one of the other children in the class and as a result I had got to know their mum quite well, in terms of chatting in the playground anyway.

We had storm one morning on the school run and as it was much closer to my house than hers I invited her back for a cuppa till the storm passed. I put the kettle on to boil and then went to the loo, then had to take an "urgent" phone call from my eldest school for some reason or other, can't remember what exactly and it certainly wasn't an emergency.

When I was upstairs I heard some clattering around in the kitchen and then heard a sizzling noise.

When I went back downstairs she was frying bacon. She hadn't asked, I hadn't offered and it meant she had gone through my fridge and cupboards the first time she had been to my house. When I asked what she was doing she said she was hungry and hadn't eaten that day Confused

Safe to say I didn't ask her to come back after that!!

What CF behaviours have others shown in your home?

OP posts:
Hiddenmnetter · 08/04/2023 16:11

My in-laws all do this:

they come around for dinner/lunch w/e

then while we’re in the kitchen finishing off the meal they start helping themselves to whatever they can find, babybels, pepperamis- the kind of stuff that we get weekly for the kids as their variety of snacks.

WTAF. You are about to be served a 3-course meal, stop fucking picking at the kids snack food that needs topping up because they end up having like 2 or 3 of each…drives me fucking mad. It’s not like you won’t be fed, in excess, and then my MIL complains about how fat she is and has to lose weight…then don’t fucking eat kids food. Just eat the grownup food served to you…

SinnerBoy · 08/04/2023 16:12

*YouShouldBeDancingYeah" · Today 16:03

Blimey! I think I would have called the Police and reported them for burglary.

AppallinglyReheated · 08/04/2023 16:14

SchoolTripDrama · 08/04/2023 11:09

Eugh! Butter and bacon? That's revolting. There's enough fat dripping from bacon as it is

Show quote history

Why is your bacon dripping fat?

Do you not drain it on some kitchen roll first or are you doing what I caught an ex doing once... frying it in half an inch of oil!

Dry fried and then drained on kitchen roll, bacon is not dripping with fat!

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 16:17

haha! I'm loving snubbing the Le Creuset teapot for the posher Alice in Wonderland ornamental one 😂
All to impress the clock mender!

YouShouldBeDancingYeah · 08/04/2023 16:18

SinnerBoy · 08/04/2023 16:12

*YouShouldBeDancingYeah" · Today 16:03

Blimey! I think I would have called the Police and reported them for burglary.

In hindsight I would have done many things differently but I was a young, scared newly widowed woman. Over the years I have learned to take no prisoners when it comes to CF-ery!

gettingoldisshit · 08/04/2023 16:19

My in law will invite people round for a bbq and we all bring extra dishes, desserts and drink. She is literally putting the food away as soon as everyone is served so that no one can have second helpings or any extras. She will often forget to serve the desserts as well. Then sits there boasting about how they lived on leftover's for two days after because there was so much! Mind you this is also a woman who would make her children lunch and offer none of the other kids any ( even though she had invited them round to play) or give her kids an ice lolly and not offer anyone else one! I absolutely cannot stand people who behave like this with food, its one of my pet hates!

GMOOH2023 · 08/04/2023 16:20

*SchoolTripDrama · Today 11:09

Eugh! Butter and bacon? That's revolting. There's enough fat dripping from bacon as it is*

Butter is essential. Then mayonnaise. Perfect.
I don't have fat dripping off my bacon??

Sarahlou79 · 08/04/2023 16:25

Years ago, some CF friends wrote off their car and had no transport. We saw them the day after the accident and they explained what had happened and that they were going to struggle to get to work as they lived a little bit out of the way. We lived quite close to their workplaces so we offered to have them stay for a day or two until the courtesy car was available.

Fast forward two weeks later, after many polite enquiries about when the courtesy car would be ready, they confessed they hadn't got around to putting the insurance claim in yet. They'd lived with us the whole time, never lifting a finger to cook or clean, with me tidying up after them, and offered us zero pounds towards it all. On top of that me and ex-DH had ferried them in and out of work every day around our own jobs, and on my day off I was still expected to get out of bed at the crack of dawn to drive her into work as a taxi would be 'too expensive'. And I still felt mortified asking them to leave!

GarlicGrace · 08/04/2023 16:25

GoodChat · 08/04/2023 10:36

You're offended that they made a nice gesture to contribute towards the takeaway, but also offended they didn't bring a gift? They can't win.

Show quote history

That was my thought, too Confused

The vast majority of these have me shocked, outraged, gobsmacked, furious, bewildered and guffawing. Then there's the odd one or two ...

Eightiesgirl · 08/04/2023 16:26

@LookItsMeAgain We were so desperate to be approved to adopt that we didn't say anything. This man was a social worker who was assessing us, so we didn't want to fall out with him, I think he knew that what he was doing was very cheeky but he also knew we wanted to keep on the right side of him. It really was taking advantage of the situation and very unprofessional. If he'd have asked for the biscuits I'd have gladly boxed them up and given them to him but to sneak back into the room and tip the plate into his bag was very cheeky.

SinnerBoy · 08/04/2023 16:26

*YouShouldBeDancingYeah · Today 16:18
SinnerBoy · Today 16:12

YouShouldBeDancingYeah · Today 16:03

In hindsight I would have doneany things differently but I was a young, scared newly widowed woman.

Yes, I can imagine; what is it they say? Hindsight is 20-20. I think that most people aren't CFs, so when confronted with it, our jaws drop and we struggle to process it.

Later, we're steaming about being shafted and wondering why we didn't say this, or do that.

I'm thinking especially of the poster who got her neighbour a turkey and couldn't have the Christmas pudding for her mother.

GoodChat · 08/04/2023 16:27

GMOOH2023 · 08/04/2023 16:20

*SchoolTripDrama · Today 11:09

Eugh! Butter and bacon? That's revolting. There's enough fat dripping from bacon as it is*

Butter is essential. Then mayonnaise. Perfect.
I don't have fat dripping off my bacon??

Mayonnaise? On bacon? I give up.

LookItsMeAgain · 08/04/2023 16:28

dew141 · 07/04/2023 08:08

My late grandmother was an insufferable snob who everyone had to tiptoe around. She didn't like the name my parents gave me so called me Jennifer for a YEAR.

My name begins with a J but otherwise totally different. I can't believe my parents put up with it.

Howya doin' there Jennifer? 😂

GarlicGrace · 08/04/2023 16:35

*It is NOT women's job to pander to men's feelings about breastfeeding.
Men do NOT have the right to forbid women to do anything in their own homes, & this ridiculous pussy-footing about male 'sensitivities' is one of the chief enablers of male entitlement.

Men's feelings do not trump women's rights & freedoms.*

Well said, @KettrickenSmiled (and your other replies)

GMOOH2023 · 08/04/2023 16:39

@GoodChat

Go on, give it a go.

Even better on a sausage sandwich :-)

lv884 · 08/04/2023 16:41

Biggestdoormatever · 08/04/2023 13:57

This isn't in response to the OP but pps about parents apparently blind to their little darlings adorable escapades.

I run a business that is membership based. Anyone considering joining up has to do a consultation first. A woman appeared for her appointment with her four year old in tow. This was ok but not ideal. I welcomed them in and sat back down. He looks at me, recoils and starts shouting while pointing at me "ugh, what's that on her teeth? Ugh mummy, look, scary, ugh... " And on and on.

My giant (and apparently disgusting) smile froze on my face. I'm used to my teeth being complimented but some cancer treatment had left a very small mark on one of them.

I looked at the woman intending to reassure it was fine as I assumed (having a same age child who can blurt out or repeat anything) she would be highly embarrassed.

Not so. Her face was an overwhelming mixture of adoration and pride while he continued his shouting. She eventually tore her gaze from him and looked at me with a conspiratorial expression of 'isn't he wonderful'.

I shook it off and started the consultation. A few questions in she interrupted me. "What did happen to your tooth?"

I can imagine: “Isn’t he just SO observant? He’s going to make a great detective one day. If he wants to be one, of course.” 🙄 Yes, while kids can be forgiven for having no tact when very young, I do often find the apple doesn’t fall far from the rude/tactless tree, as you discovered…

Londongal123 · 08/04/2023 16:45

nowtherearethree · 06/04/2023 18:44

My DIL comes to my house we cook for her it is always something she likes as she is vegan. She sits there whilst we tidy up the dishes. She sometimes brings deserts that she likes hands one out to each of us after choosing her own first then proceeds to take home any left. She also pours herself a drink pours her DH a drink
And does not offer anyone else one!

I might be the odd one out here but I don’t really find this that rude? I never let my guests help clean up so there’s that but she’s probably not realising the rest is rude. I wouldn’t have noticed

AppallinglyReheated · 08/04/2023 16:47

GoodChat · 08/04/2023 16:27

Mayonnaise? On bacon? I give up.

Show quote history

Oh yes!

I love a BLT on buttered toast, nice crispy lettuce, sharp cherry tomatoes and mayo. If theres mushrooms fried with the bacon, I'll stick them on too. Bloody lovely!

Bleachmycloths · 08/04/2023 16:50

Baublebonkers · 08/04/2023 13:14

Many many years ago while out shopping, my mum met a friend of hers who had another friends baby with her. She asked her oh you’re looking after her baby.she said, she felt sorry for her after what she’s going through. As my mum knew this woman very well, she was surprised and asked what she was going through? She told my mum that the woman had told her she had cancer of the back and this is why she used to take her child so often. It was a complete lie, and my mum has just outed her. Don’t know what happened, but suffice to say she never looked after her child again.

So, so weird…

GarlicGrace · 08/04/2023 16:50

I think she’d rather have her health back than all the free time much of which she had to spend resting, thanks!

A very much-loved Mumsnetter died with cancer a few years ago. She posted regular updates on her condition, because we were all rooting for her. She was a marvel of grace under pressure; patient & humorous to the end. Over the final couple of months she lost weight very fast ... and one of her friends kept going on about how she wished she could lose weight like that!

Remarkably, about half of her other friends thought it perfectly fine that this woman was, basically, saying our friend should be grateful she was dying because the disease made her thin Shock

I blame "positive thinking". It makes people vicious.

Emotionalsupportviper · 08/04/2023 16:53

cheekyffer · 08/04/2023 11:25

Had to stop working when very ill (nearly died and did not give up work easily - high pressure job, had paid off house so it was possible, though not a good situation obviously). Local CF with two very badly behaved kids contacts my husband to see if we can look after the kids every morning and take them to school. We would have done it in an emergency, but this was to provide regular childcare in the middle of her custody battle with her husband. Had to say no as I could not even look after myself and was needing care from my husband. Everyone locally knew how bad it was and we had done a lot for others before and suddenly had others kindly helping us. We found out later that at a kid's party she has a nasty little talk to DC about how it 'is better for children if their mummy's work'.

I'm not sure how we are in CF territory here.

She asked, you said "No", she accepted your decision and tried to soften the blow for her children. Have I missed anything?

Neither of you seems to have behaved badly/

Bleachmycloths · 08/04/2023 16:54

GarlicGrace · 08/04/2023 16:50

I think she’d rather have her health back than all the free time much of which she had to spend resting, thanks!

A very much-loved Mumsnetter died with cancer a few years ago. She posted regular updates on her condition, because we were all rooting for her. She was a marvel of grace under pressure; patient & humorous to the end. Over the final couple of months she lost weight very fast ... and one of her friends kept going on about how she wished she could lose weight like that!

Remarkably, about half of her other friends thought it perfectly fine that this woman was, basically, saying our friend should be grateful she was dying because the disease made her thin Shock

I blame "positive thinking". It makes people vicious.

Jesus Christ! Sometimes I just want to go and live on a desert island… maybe with a handful of people I really love and respect 😊

Bleachmycloths · 08/04/2023 16:56

Londongal123 · 08/04/2023 16:45

I might be the odd one out here but I don’t really find this that rude? I never let my guests help clean up so there’s that but she’s probably not realising the rest is rude. I wouldn’t have noticed

Show quote history

I know what you mean Londongal123 but I suspect the vegan DIL is a PITA in other ways, too.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 08/04/2023 16:56

PauliesWalnuts · 08/04/2023 16:44

@ifIwerenotanandroid you’d be very welcome but you’d have to bring a couple of chairs! Rhubarb fresh off the allotment this afternoon - recipe here if you need it https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/rhubarb-apple-crumble

Thank you for the invitation to stay rent-free at your house for the next 3 months, being waited on hand & foot. We will arrive at 6am on Monday & expect a full English breakfast within 10 mins of arrival. Please do not expect gifts.

(I'm just practising - being a CF doesn't come naturally.)

Thanks for the recipe.

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