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What is the most CF behaviour someone has shown when visiting your home?

1000 replies

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 06/04/2023 18:28

Just that really......

Mine was a few years ago and I'm still Confused whenever I think about it.

My youngest had started primary school a few months prior to the event and she had got a bit friendly with one of the other children in the class and as a result I had got to know their mum quite well, in terms of chatting in the playground anyway.

We had storm one morning on the school run and as it was much closer to my house than hers I invited her back for a cuppa till the storm passed. I put the kettle on to boil and then went to the loo, then had to take an "urgent" phone call from my eldest school for some reason or other, can't remember what exactly and it certainly wasn't an emergency.

When I was upstairs I heard some clattering around in the kitchen and then heard a sizzling noise.

When I went back downstairs she was frying bacon. She hadn't asked, I hadn't offered and it meant she had gone through my fridge and cupboards the first time she had been to my house. When I asked what she was doing she said she was hungry and hadn't eaten that day Confused

Safe to say I didn't ask her to come back after that!!

What CF behaviours have others shown in your home?

OP posts:
6strings1song · 08/04/2023 14:30

When the in-laws come to stay we often get a few CF comments. Quite minor, but still irks me.

One time I bought croissants for breakfast and they went down well. The next time the in-laws stayed I forgot to buy some (plenty of other typical breakfast items were available). I was met with sad faces and "Oh no! There aren't any croissants for the morning?!" Goodness sake, now I never forget the sodding croissants. It is not like in-laws get anything special or "think of us" in when we visit them.

We had shortly just moved into our house and the bath handheld shower attachment was a bit old and limescaley. It was clean and usable, but needed a good long soak in some descaler. Another shower was available, so not an issue at all. Descaling was not really one of my top priority jobs as we were still getting things in order after moving in. MIL comes downstairs and says "I just used the bath and you really need to descale that shower head you know, you need to buy xyz product". I explained we just simply hadn't got round to it yet amongst the moving chaos. Just felt like a dig about lack of cleaning or something.

Moved into next house and we were met with very subdued reactions as we showed them round... lots of "hmmms". I think the only comment FIL made was "this is a very very strange room" (said with a shaking head and a tone of disaproval) . This was in relation to our living room which is completely ordinary apart from an alcove at one end which we use as a reading nook.

These are nothing compared to some of the experiences of PPs, but people really do seem to not engage brain before opening mouth. I always think before I speak (maybe too much), but it means there are generally less "cringe" moments or raised eyebrows comments.

SinnerBoy · 08/04/2023 14:32

Blimey, the Big Bacon Butty Brouhaha has caused more rancour than Marmite!

Greenpolkadot · 08/04/2023 14:33

At last someone with some backbone...

Allergictoironing · 08/04/2023 14:34

Strawberrydelight78 · 08/04/2023 13:57

Yeah it's different when it's family. But we don't know that ladies circumstances. She might not have eaten anything so her child had something to eat.

Then you ASK. I've been at friends houses in the past when for some reason I've not had time to eat beforehand, and ask if it would be OK if I had a slice of toast or something, normally apologising for being a bit cheeky. I've also had friends asking me if there was anything they could eat at my house e.g. when they've dropped in for 5 mins then it's 4 hours later type of thing.

But these have been FRIENDS, not casual acquaintances I'd chatted to a few times. And in each case the hungry person has ASKED, politely, if it would be possible. Direct family can go into my cupboards/fridge to look for something to eat as I've given blanket permission, but then they check that it's something it's OK for them to take or if it's something I have plans for.

Good example just this afternoon. DSis & a nephew were round, I had already said there would be toasted treats. I had crumpets, tea cakes and scotch pancakes in, the scotch pancakes were for tomorrow, so when DSis suggested it was a good time for the snacks she asked which were up for grabs. The moment I said not the pancakes, she & nephew chose one of the others. What they didn't do, even though they knew that at least some of the treats were for them, was just go into the kitchen and toast whatever they fancied.

BeachBlondey · 08/04/2023 14:41

A couple came for the weekend, and brought nothing with them. We provided all food and alcohol, all weekend. As they were leaving on the Sunday, the woman said "Oh, we left our alcohol in the car!" and she then proceeded to hand me one bottle of mini Bud 😯 After scoffing our food and wine ALL weekend!!

We went to their house some time later, it was a very cold winter. There was no heating on, so inside the house you could see your breath! We were served miniscule portions of food, and wine glasses sat empty for ages. They are not poor - quite the opposite!

I've never been back!

JudgeJ · 08/04/2023 14:43

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 13:06

Stick to Kerrygold 👍

Yuck!

JudgeJ · 08/04/2023 14:44

Merryweather80 · 08/04/2023 13:54

This way of making a bacon butty should be made law. Who butters the bread? Weirdo’s 🤣

Probably the same people who use an apostrophe in a plural!

BeachBlondey · 08/04/2023 14:47

Oh, and visiting wealthy PIL abroad. Arrived around 11pm. No food or drink offered. We were starving. Asked if we could have a sandwich. Nope. Not one piece of food in the house. Went to bed having missed dinner. Got up the next morning. Apparently there was food, because they served themselves breakfast, but not us. Had to go out and find a supermarket to get food. This is just so alien to my own family, who, even at 11pm would have had a spread ready for your arrival, and would have shoved a glass of wine into your hand before you'd even got your shoes off.

Eggseggseverywhere · 08/04/2023 14:49

Does a caravan count? Agreed to holiday with another family. We meal planned for our family of 6. Arrived with boxes of stuff. Friend rocked up with a cooked chicken on a plate on her lap. It rained all week end. Guess who hosted 5 more people?

dew141 · 08/04/2023 14:53

One time I bought croissants for breakfast and they went down well. The next time the in-laws stayed I forgot to buy some (plenty of other typical breakfast items were available). I was met with sad faces and "Oh no! There aren't any croissants for the morning?!" Goodness sake, now I never forget the sodding croissants.

My in-laws always want eggs whenever they turn up (even though there's no reason why they couldn't have them for breakfast before they come).

I particularly object to doing this on Christmas Day an hour before the turkey is served and I'm dashing around finishing off all the bits. So I tactically bought croissants as I thought it would head off the eggs request. They arrive at 11.30 on Christmas morning, I get out the croissants and of course, they want various types of eggs with them and all my hobs are in use. Aagh.

The next Christmas we go to theirs and say we're bringing lots of nice food things from various hampers. We are told on arrival that no one is allowed to eat any of the snacks we'd provided in case we spoil our meal. We arrive at 10 and lunch is served at 3.30 (at which point the younger kids are getting ravenous). We'd brought various desserts but these were not produced, my FIL takes out 8 mini croissants, burns them in the air fryer and there's not enough to go round so the adults have nothing for pudding. And certainly not the Christmas pudding or mince pies we'd donated. I still laugh now, it was a day of bizarre culinary endurance.

BeachBlondey · 08/04/2023 14:57

Just remembered another one.

Saturday morning, the door is getting knocked on at 7am. I open it to find a tiny girl standing there. She's from across the street and sometimes played with my kids. She said "Daddy says I should have breakfast at your house" 😯

I've no idea why I actually didn't send her home, but she came in and stayed all day. No one checked she'd made it over here safely, and no one came to get her back. THREE years old! Very rich family as well.

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 14:58

BeachBlondey · 08/04/2023 14:57

Just remembered another one.

Saturday morning, the door is getting knocked on at 7am. I open it to find a tiny girl standing there. She's from across the street and sometimes played with my kids. She said "Daddy says I should have breakfast at your house" 😯

I've no idea why I actually didn't send her home, but she came in and stayed all day. No one checked she'd made it over here safely, and no one came to get her back. THREE years old! Very rich family as well.

Why would you do that? Confused. You kept her all day?

Ellegeebee · 08/04/2023 15:05

Back in my 20’s I was friends with a CF, I eventually grew a backbone after a couple of incidents. The first one that sticks out is a time a few of us went to Pizza Hut (it was the 90’s remember), at the end of the meal and after we’d paid I left £3 on the table as a tip, CF shrieked “WTF are you doing?! It’s a Pizza Hut” and proceeded to pick up the £3 and pocket it! I was too shocked (and a bit intimidated by her) to confront her. Another time I knew she asked to meet up for tea, I knew she was skint so I invited her round to mine for a Chinese, I told her to choose whatever she wanted and I’d get it, my shout. She text back and said “I want something home cooked, I’m having a Chinese at the weekend with my sister and don’t want two in the space of a week”, I stood up to her this time and told her it was what we were having (me and gf at the time had just come off a string of nights so takeaway was our treat night) and that she could join us or not. Anyway she was clearly pissed off and said she wouldn’t be coming! There are so many more stories about her. We are no longer friends.

Marmunia10661975 · 08/04/2023 15:12

My elderly mother's plumber always asks her for tea and lunch and bills her for the pleasure!

Itsmebutnotme · 08/04/2023 15:17

SinnerBoy · 08/04/2023 14:32

Blimey, the Big Bacon Butty Brouhaha has caused more rancour than Marmite!

Not possible. Marmite is pure poison. Even the thought of it tastes bad! Yuk!

nopuppiesallowed · 08/04/2023 15:22

IchWill · 08/04/2023 11:24

I still dine out on this one. When myself and ex-DH were in our 20s, we bought a house, decided to throw a housewarming, and suggested guests turn up in 60s or 70s fancy dress.

Being young, everyone went full-out on outfits, but we were amused that we have three jumpsuit-era Elvis's rock up. Two in white satin, one in black. (This part's important).

Elvis in black (Lee) was a mere acquaintance of DH, and when DH invited the lads he played football with to our party, and felt obliged to extend invite to this Lee and his wife who was in earshot, even though we didn't know them.

So the night's in full swing, brilliant fun, after a few hours, one of the white satin Elvis's heads home with his wife as they had to travel to a different town to get home.

A few of hours later, Lee and his wife are nowhere to be seen, we find them in the lounge (we'd not had party in that room as it's adjoined to neighbour's house who had a young child) and Lee and his wife were both passed out on the sofa.

I gently woke them, as I knew party would be winding down soon and asked them if I should call them a cab. Bleary-eyed, they came into kitchen, my DH and all his mates were in garden smoking. Lee starts chatting to the remaining fellow Elvis in the kitchen. Pleasant chit chat. When all of sudden black satin Elvis attacks Elvis in white satin, grabs him, sending him flying along the breakfast bar, knocking bottles and glasses off, then throws him to floor and starts raining punches on our friend, all the blokes were outside oblivious to our screaming at Lee to get off him, except one man. My mate's DH, who's dressed as Ringo Starr, he jumps in to try and break it up and gets his glasses broken in the process, in a panic, I start calling the police as a friend goes outside to get the blokes to come in and help break it up.

Upon hearing me on the phone to the police, evil Elvis gets off my friend, grabs his wife and flees. The police were in the area and asked for a description, I say he's dressed like Elvis. 🤣

in the commotion, evil Elvis left his wig and bejeweled Cumberland, which we hope the fancy dress shop charged him for. He was too embarrassed to come back to get them.

He never apologised, or spoke to DH again, but we heard on the grapevine that he was usually teetotal, and got aggressive if he drank alcohol. The night of our party he drank a whole bottle of whisky with his wife.

It was horrible at the time, but the story of good Elvis and evil Elvis rolling around out kitchen / diner floor, with Ringo Starr trying to break them up, is a great story to share. 😅

PS: Good Elvis was okay. Was just a bit bruised and all shook up. 😁. He laughs about it now too.

Funniest thing I've read in years! Thank you so much!!

Babyboree · 08/04/2023 15:34

@PauliesWalnuts why didn’t you just buy enough lamb to feed all your guests? I don’t think they were rude for that.

MummyJ36 · 08/04/2023 15:39

This still grinds my gears nearly 20 years later….

I worker in M&S Food when I was 19 over Christmas one year to get a bit of extra money. I spent my days getting up at 5am and freezing my backside off for minimum wage. The big payoff (so to speak) was the staff getting a sizeable discount on any leftover Christmas food at the end of the day on Christmas Eve. About an hour before closing CF neighbour came in and spent about ten hours telling me a sob story that she hadn’t got a turkey for Christmas and could I please get her one at the end of the day with my discount if there were any left? I explained that I was only allowed to buy one “premium” product like a turkey, Christmas pudding, Christmas cake etc. and I’d wanted to buy my mum something nice. She went on and on, almost crying about how her family wouldn’t have a turkey (I remember so clearly her saying this) and then I eventually gave in and said I’d try and get her one.

I bought her the turkey at a huge discount and brought it round to give her to her. She was very thankful and ended by saying she was “so glad she didn’t have to defrost the Tesco turkey in her freezer” now that she had this nice one from M&S. Being 19 I had no idea what to say and I was so shocked that she’d not only lied to me but had the balls to admit the truth in such a brazen way!! I still think today what a dickhead move it was. I’d have had more respect if she’d just been truthful from the off and said she fancied a nicer turkey because I could have at least made an informed decision to say no! The level of guilt heaped onto me and then the glee at letting me know she had one all along was totally despicable from a grown woman I always thought.

FrillyGoatFluff · 08/04/2023 15:42

My two DSD had just moved in with us very unexpectedly, and youngest (8 at the time) had started at the village school.

She had a friend over, and when the friends mum came to pick her up, she walked straight in, up the stairs and started opening all the bedroom doors and having a good look round. It was obvious what room the kids were in, but she had a nosey in all the rooms anyway. I sort of trailed behind, a bit gobsmacked.

When she was leaving with her daughter, she turned to me and said 'this house is not big enough for three children'.

I was pregnant at the time, and had just inherited two unexpected children - it was my first ever play date, and frankly, I was gobsmacked. (It is a four bedroom house incidentally, so she was also talking bollocks)

There's some weirdos out there!

PauliesWalnuts · 08/04/2023 15:49

I did. It’s not like I’m stingy over food - they just don’t seem to ever get full or consider that someone else might like some. Out of ten people six eat lamb, and I also do pork or gammon for the four who don’t.
They are actually coming tomorrow and I have a 5lb leg of lamb and a 4lb gammon joint. The label on the lamb says it will feed 10 people. The label on the gammon says it will feed 6 people. I bought the biggest leg of lamb that exists - any bigger and it would be a leg of mutton. They are also having rosemary potatoes, carrots, cauli, sprouting broccoli and Yorkshires.
They will also work through a deli board as a starter, dips, one tube of Pringles and three bags of crisps before they eat their meal. For dessert they will demolish a rhubarb, apple and ginger crumble and a chocolate upside down pudding.
I do love my family but they are greedy pigs. This year I am plating mine up first before the rest goes on the table.

gabsdot45 · 08/04/2023 16:02

DHs brother is a CF. This happened back in the days of dial up internet where the cost of logging on went onto the phone bill.
I have as sick in bed one day when I heard someone coming into the house.
It was BIL. He was surprised to see me and was holding a computer, one of the big boxes from the olden days. He said something about dropping off something and he left.
A few weeks later our phone bill arrived and it was huge.
It transpired that he had been letting himself into our house each day to go on line, to watch porn.
He had a brand new baby and was supposed to be going to work to, you know, support his family.
He obviously lost his job and therefore couldn't pay any of the phone bill.
Another time he took his wife away for a weekend and as he didn't have a CC asked DH to book the hotel for him. He paid DH for the hotel but when the CC bill arrived there were loads of other things charged on it. He did pay that back eventually but only after we had to ask him. He didn't mention it at the time.
More recently we invited him and his new girlfriend for dinner along with his kids and MIL. My daughter was sitting next to the girlfriend and noticed that she wasn't eating anything. DD asked did she not like her dinner . She said she wasn't that hungry and BIL admitted that they'd been to Nandos for their lunch a hour earlier.

YouShouldBeDancingYeah · 08/04/2023 16:03

When my DH died many years ago, things were very tense between my MIL and myself. Not long after the funeral, I’d gone out with the DCs (aged 2 and 1) and when I got back the house looked different. Then I worked it out, all our photos had gone from the walls. Wedding photos, family photos, pictures of the DCs…all disappeared.
Then I remembered my PIL had a key to my house, so I phoned them and asked if they’d been round…
Bold as brass my MIL said “yes we’ve got your photos but they belong to us as DH was my son…you can have them back when we are both gone”. I was so taken aback I said nothing…but promptly changed the locks!! I decided not to die on this particular hill (although there have been others that I have stood up for myself vehemently!)
In the years that have gone by I have realised that grief does absolutely fking batshit crazy things to people, and although I am NC with my PIL (for a variety of reasons) my adult DC inform me my photos still festoon their house in every room.
I am still agog at the fact they had the audacity to sneak into my house while I was out and steal all my photos though!!

JennyBee23 · 08/04/2023 16:05

I was 4 weeks post partum after a c-section that almost killed me. My FIL, who was so excited about his first grand child that he didn't even bother to tell his brother I was pregnant until the baby arrived, decided that the family heirloom clock had to be repaired yesterday despite it not working in over a decade. Of course said heirloom hangs in my dining room.

He arranged the clock maker to come to mine at 10am, I was home alone with the baby as OH was at work. 10am comes and the clockmaker appears but no FIL. Clock man asks me to place a towel down in a specific location for the clock to be laid on (this is the size of a grandfather clock). I do as he asked then excused myself to attend the baby. Said baby being very poorly and on the verge of hospitalisation which FIL was well aware of.

FIL swans in with his emergency key and proceeds to lecture me on how I'd laid the towel incorrectly and moved it, clock man had to redo it all as FIL just can't be wrong. I take my and baby upstairs.

I then heard the kettle go on, fine. My kitchen doors slamming, and wondered WTF was going on as all my tea and coffee stuff was on the counter as was my biscuit tin. Then my back door opened, i went downstairs to investigate. The daft old bastard had decided to not use the teapot on the hob as "it's a bit common" it's fucking La Cruset! No, he had gone on a hunt, found an ornamental Alice in Wonderland teapot and because IT'S A FUCKING ORNAMENT ON DISPLAY WITH OTHER ORNAMENTS and didn't pour tea, he was going into the garage to get a drill to fix it.

I lost my shit, told him "oh fuck this shit" and left with the baby before I blew up at him. He complained to MIL that I didn't have nice biscuits and that I swore at him, causing family war 6.

Family war 5 was when he posted a photo of me minutes before I crashed in theatre all over Facebook announcing the babies birth before I'd even come out of recovery even though I'd warned everyone that baby wasn't to be on social media. My mum texted husband to ask him to take it down, knowing I'd lose my shit and it turned into a whole thing where Fil was somehow a victim of his unreasonable DiL.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 08/04/2023 16:08

PauliesWalnuts · 08/04/2023 15:49

I did. It’s not like I’m stingy over food - they just don’t seem to ever get full or consider that someone else might like some. Out of ten people six eat lamb, and I also do pork or gammon for the four who don’t.
They are actually coming tomorrow and I have a 5lb leg of lamb and a 4lb gammon joint. The label on the lamb says it will feed 10 people. The label on the gammon says it will feed 6 people. I bought the biggest leg of lamb that exists - any bigger and it would be a leg of mutton. They are also having rosemary potatoes, carrots, cauli, sprouting broccoli and Yorkshires.
They will also work through a deli board as a starter, dips, one tube of Pringles and three bags of crisps before they eat their meal. For dessert they will demolish a rhubarb, apple and ginger crumble and a chocolate upside down pudding.
I do love my family but they are greedy pigs. This year I am plating mine up first before the rest goes on the table.

Can DH & I go on your reserve list in case anyone drops out?😂

I know it's cheeky, but the rhubarb, apple and ginger crumble tipped the balance.

DeegeeDee · 08/04/2023 16:10

JennyBee23 · 08/04/2023 16:05

I was 4 weeks post partum after a c-section that almost killed me. My FIL, who was so excited about his first grand child that he didn't even bother to tell his brother I was pregnant until the baby arrived, decided that the family heirloom clock had to be repaired yesterday despite it not working in over a decade. Of course said heirloom hangs in my dining room.

He arranged the clock maker to come to mine at 10am, I was home alone with the baby as OH was at work. 10am comes and the clockmaker appears but no FIL. Clock man asks me to place a towel down in a specific location for the clock to be laid on (this is the size of a grandfather clock). I do as he asked then excused myself to attend the baby. Said baby being very poorly and on the verge of hospitalisation which FIL was well aware of.

FIL swans in with his emergency key and proceeds to lecture me on how I'd laid the towel incorrectly and moved it, clock man had to redo it all as FIL just can't be wrong. I take my and baby upstairs.

I then heard the kettle go on, fine. My kitchen doors slamming, and wondered WTF was going on as all my tea and coffee stuff was on the counter as was my biscuit tin. Then my back door opened, i went downstairs to investigate. The daft old bastard had decided to not use the teapot on the hob as "it's a bit common" it's fucking La Cruset! No, he had gone on a hunt, found an ornamental Alice in Wonderland teapot and because IT'S A FUCKING ORNAMENT ON DISPLAY WITH OTHER ORNAMENTS and didn't pour tea, he was going into the garage to get a drill to fix it.

I lost my shit, told him "oh fuck this shit" and left with the baby before I blew up at him. He complained to MIL that I didn't have nice biscuits and that I swore at him, causing family war 6.

Family war 5 was when he posted a photo of me minutes before I crashed in theatre all over Facebook announcing the babies birth before I'd even come out of recovery even though I'd warned everyone that baby wasn't to be on social media. My mum texted husband to ask him to take it down, knowing I'd lose my shit and it turned into a whole thing where Fil was somehow a victim of his unreasonable DiL.

Jeez, how you keep your cool with that level of idiocy.

But family wars 1-4 please, if you can.

Thank you OP and everyone, CF stories flabber my ghast.

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