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Original poster

What is the most CF behaviour someone has shown when visiting your home?

1000 replies

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 06/04/2023 18:28

Just that really......

Mine was a few years ago and I'm still Confused whenever I think about it.

My youngest had started primary school a few months prior to the event and she had got a bit friendly with one of the other children in the class and as a result I had got to know their mum quite well, in terms of chatting in the playground anyway.

We had storm one morning on the school run and as it was much closer to my house than hers I invited her back for a cuppa till the storm passed. I put the kettle on to boil and then went to the loo, then had to take an "urgent" phone call from my eldest school for some reason or other, can't remember what exactly and it certainly wasn't an emergency.

When I was upstairs I heard some clattering around in the kitchen and then heard a sizzling noise.

When I went back downstairs she was frying bacon. She hadn't asked, I hadn't offered and it meant she had gone through my fridge and cupboards the first time she had been to my house. When I asked what she was doing she said she was hungry and hadn't eaten that day Confused

Safe to say I didn't ask her to come back after that!!

What CF behaviours have others shown in your home?

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 08/04/2023 13:20

Wantosleep39 · 08/04/2023 08:42

I wouldn’t make her guilty while she was eating. What she did was very rude but I wouldn’t make her uncomfortable while she was eating. And I wouldn’t invite her again. In my culture we never make people uncomfortable about eating. No matter how rude they are. You sound annoyed me more than her to be honest 🙈😆

Show quote history

Sounds like some cultures are very supportive of the CFs, I would have no problem making her feel uncomfortable, eating or not, if she was stealing my food.

AngryBirdsNoMore · 08/04/2023 13:23

cheekyffer · 08/04/2023 11:25

Had to stop working when very ill (nearly died and did not give up work easily - high pressure job, had paid off house so it was possible, though not a good situation obviously). Local CF with two very badly behaved kids contacts my husband to see if we can look after the kids every morning and take them to school. We would have done it in an emergency, but this was to provide regular childcare in the middle of her custody battle with her husband. Had to say no as I could not even look after myself and was needing care from my husband. Everyone locally knew how bad it was and we had done a lot for others before and suddenly had others kindly helping us. We found out later that at a kid's party she has a nasty little talk to DC about how it 'is better for children if their mummy's work'.

UGH. My aunt gets this. She had to stop work in her forties due to very serious heart issues (life limiting, probably will be life shortening). She’d been a partner at a major city firm. Gets snidey comments in earshot from other mums at pick up about how they wish they had all her free time and how they’d help others out more if they chose not to have a career. Her career was a real life force for her, I think she’d rather have her health back than all the free time much of which she had to spend resting, thanks!

AngryBirdsNoMore · 08/04/2023 13:24

Ps I’m sorry for your troubles @cheekyffer

LookItsMeAgain · 08/04/2023 13:31

Whatthejackdawsaw · 06/04/2023 21:06

Not as bad as some others. My oldest was in nursery so had a chilled day planned. CF turned up out of the blue with a young school child, encourages child to play with almost every toy, well not really playing just tipping out and moving on, they found this funny and almost egged child on pointing out 'new' things, every inch of carpet covered in scattered books and toys, then after a while said we will see ourselves out, no offer to assist in tidying...I was less than a week post-birth of my second child recovering with stitches and was left with a bombsite to clear and had to kick things side to side just to make a pathway to get out.

I don't understand why you couldn't and didn't say to them "I'm just recently out of hospital and I'm not clearing up after your child has taken every toy out of it's storage box. You can leave when you've cleared up. I can't bend down to do it, so you're going to have to" and wait to see what happens.

History tells us that once they have been called out on their shit, CF know who not to mess with!

ifIwerenotanandroid · 08/04/2023 13:43

Itsmebutnotme · 08/04/2023 08:10

🤣🤣🤣

Show quote history

I have three tubs in reserve & one on the go. Should I specify them on the house contents insurance? Should I move the reserves to a bank deposit box?

SinnerBoy · 08/04/2023 13:48

Probably, or start buying Laldi Not Lurpak, oh no, it Just us Looks Like Lurpak by an Amazing Coincidence.

Merryweather80 · 08/04/2023 13:54

This way of making a bacon butty should be made law. Who butters the bread? Weirdo’s 🤣

Coffeetree · 08/04/2023 13:54

Don't know if the thread's jumped the shark yet, but:

When I was 9 or so my mum kept me home from school because of a bad cold. My mum suddenly had to run an errand and left me home alone, sitting on the sofa.

We lived rurally and I was surprised to see a Nice Old Lady come to the door. I got up, opened the door, and she was a Jehovah Witness. She appeared to be on her own and it was freezing out. I told her I was home alone and I invited her in for a cup of tea.

She accepted! She came in and had tea and biscuits. I felt very grown up. Somehow I thought my mum would be impressed with my kindness and hospitality when she got home, but when she opened the door she went into Beast Mode. It was the first time I ever saw her get angry (at someone other than us kids lol). I think she even swore! The Nice Old Lady left in a hurry.

It shows you how kids' brains work: of course I knew to avoid strangers, but in my little brain "strangers" were scruffy men, not Nice Old Ladies.

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 13:57

Merryweather80 · 08/04/2023 13:54

This way of making a bacon butty should be made law. Who butters the bread? Weirdo’s 🤣

I've yet to meet a sandwich that was improved by the absence of butter.

Strawberrydelight78 · 08/04/2023 13:57

Yeah it's different when it's family. But we don't know that ladies circumstances. She might not have eaten anything so her child had something to eat.

QueenSmartypants · 08/04/2023 13:57

@CriticalAlert you bear no responsibility at all for what happened to you, it wasn't your fault in the slightest.

You were not silly, you were innocent and you were drugged and then gang raped.

You mention that this is the first time you've spoken about it and I'm concerned about how you're going to feel over the next few weeks. Please don't hesitate to reach out- either here or to your GP, Rape Crisis or someone you trust. Flowers

Biggestdoormatever · 08/04/2023 13:57

This isn't in response to the OP but pps about parents apparently blind to their little darlings adorable escapades.

I run a business that is membership based. Anyone considering joining up has to do a consultation first. A woman appeared for her appointment with her four year old in tow. This was ok but not ideal. I welcomed them in and sat back down. He looks at me, recoils and starts shouting while pointing at me "ugh, what's that on her teeth? Ugh mummy, look, scary, ugh... " And on and on.

My giant (and apparently disgusting) smile froze on my face. I'm used to my teeth being complimented but some cancer treatment had left a very small mark on one of them.

I looked at the woman intending to reassure it was fine as I assumed (having a same age child who can blurt out or repeat anything) she would be highly embarrassed.

Not so. Her face was an overwhelming mixture of adoration and pride while he continued his shouting. She eventually tore her gaze from him and looked at me with a conspiratorial expression of 'isn't he wonderful'.

I shook it off and started the consultation. A few questions in she interrupted me. "What did happen to your tooth?"

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 14:00

Strawberrydelight78 · 08/04/2023 13:57

Yeah it's different when it's family. But we don't know that ladies circumstances. She might not have eaten anything so her child had something to eat.

No circumstances make going into a relative stranger's kitchen and helping yourself an acceptable thing to do.
Why do people tie themselves in knots trying to find an excuse for bizarre behaviour?

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 14:02

Biggestdoormatever · 08/04/2023 13:57

This isn't in response to the OP but pps about parents apparently blind to their little darlings adorable escapades.

I run a business that is membership based. Anyone considering joining up has to do a consultation first. A woman appeared for her appointment with her four year old in tow. This was ok but not ideal. I welcomed them in and sat back down. He looks at me, recoils and starts shouting while pointing at me "ugh, what's that on her teeth? Ugh mummy, look, scary, ugh... " And on and on.

My giant (and apparently disgusting) smile froze on my face. I'm used to my teeth being complimented but some cancer treatment had left a very small mark on one of them.

I looked at the woman intending to reassure it was fine as I assumed (having a same age child who can blurt out or repeat anything) she would be highly embarrassed.

Not so. Her face was an overwhelming mixture of adoration and pride while he continued his shouting. She eventually tore her gaze from him and looked at me with a conspiratorial expression of 'isn't he wonderful'.

I shook it off and started the consultation. A few questions in she interrupted me. "What did happen to your tooth?"

I hope her application for membership was swiftly declined? What a witch.

MrsKHunt · 08/04/2023 14:02

Strawberrydelight78 · 08/04/2023 13:57

Yeah it's different when it's family. But we don't know that ladies circumstances. She might not have eaten anything so her child had something to eat.

God just stop with the made up scenarios

She
Was
Rude

KatherineJaneway · 08/04/2023 14:03

Merryweather80 · 08/04/2023 13:54

This way of making a bacon butty should be made law. Who butters the bread? Weirdo’s 🤣

Who doesn't butter the bread. Weirdos 🤣

Itsmebutnotme · 08/04/2023 14:08

GoodChat · 08/04/2023 11:55

There's no hate for Lurpak. Just for butter on bacon sandwiches. They're for ketchup only Grin

Show quote history

Philistines. Toasted bread, butter, bacon and ketchup all the way! In desperate times, buttered bread, bacon and ketchup. 😁

Itsmebutnotme · 08/04/2023 14:09

KatherineJaneway · 08/04/2023 14:03

Who doesn't butter the bread. Weirdos 🤣

Show quote history

+1

Angebot · 08/04/2023 14:10

KettrickenSmiled · 08/04/2023 11:22

🙄
& this is exactly how CF's get away with CF'ery.

How would it have been stingy to have pointed out that the muffins were for everybody, so everybody needed to have only one?
How on earth could a woman who has laid on a massive buffet for 30 be viewed as stingy?

As the parent in charge, it was your JOB to police this.
Being scared of somebody thinking you are stingy, when you are obviously not, is an excuse - possibly for classic British embarrassment at needing to point out an etiquette fail to another person.

Not that I'm labelling a child a CF - that's possibly down to the way his parents raised him, more likely just an impulse control thing. Young kids need this explained to them, being childishly greedy for muffins doesn't really make the grade for Fuckery.

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I'd told them all beforehand. And
I certainly wasn't going to cause a scene, follow him and make him put them back
It was a joyous occasion for my child and I let it go.. how bad of me!

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 14:11

Angebot · 08/04/2023 14:10

I'd told them all beforehand. And
I certainly wasn't going to cause a scene, follow him and make him put them back
It was a joyous occasion for my child and I let it go.. how bad of me!

Show quote history

Yet you're on a CF thread using him as an example 😂. Let it go, my arse.

Biggestdoormatever · 08/04/2023 14:11

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 14:02

I hope her application for membership was swiftly declined? What a witch.

Show quote history

Yup. Unusual for me to walk away from a sale but I didn't want to have to see her again.

Minierme · 08/04/2023 14:14

UWhatNow · 06/04/2023 18:41

Long time ‘friend’ came to my house unannounced when our dc were little.

After the initial surprise I made cups of tea for us and sat having a chat while the little ones played. I started to share some quite serious stuff that was going on and halfway through, mid-sentence she says to her little girl ‘are you going to choose a book and I’ll read it to you?’ - I’m a bit taken aback and watch while the child picks up one of my DC’s books and my ‘friend’ just sits there patiently reading to her child as if it’s a public library.

So they’ve just turned up, I’ve been interrupted and now I’m in my own house like a complete plum silently sitting there while another woman reads to her kid.

Grrr it still pisses me off 15 years later…

I think YABa bit unreasonable on this one. This has happened 100s of times in my circular of friends and we just accept that life with very small kids means that conversations often get interrupted. I can’t imagine being offended by it. Mildly irritated maybe.

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 14:16

Minierme · 08/04/2023 14:14

I think YABa bit unreasonable on this one. This has happened 100s of times in my circular of friends and we just accept that life with very small kids means that conversations often get interrupted. I can’t imagine being offended by it. Mildly irritated maybe.

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Maybe it was her way of knocking the discussion of serious stuff in earshot of the young kids on the head?

LookItsMeAgain · 08/04/2023 14:22

pollyglot · 06/04/2023 23:25

Not the worst CF moment, but I'm fuming as it's happening right now. I run a U3A group on a weekly basis, teaching a language, at no cost to students, even providing work sheets of my own devising and using my own paper and printer ink. One couple is late every week, interrupting the start of the lesson, and ruining the momentum. Yesterday, they left a coat behind, and didn't return to pick it up. This morning, a public holiday, I woke feeling terrible, with a cough, fever and heart issues, (atrial fib.) so decided to spend the day reclining in my chair in my PJs with a book and MN. Phone call at 8 am...we'll be round at 9.15 to get coat. I get up, dressed, wait. 9.30, message.. We're running late, can't make it, will be round sometime this afternoon to get the coat. Grrr... DH is planning a right earful for them when they come.

I do hope you're recovering (or indeed have fully recovered).

The only acceptable response to them looking for their coat on a public holiday is "No, we're unable to facilitate that request. The coat will be available when the classes resume after the Easter break. We look forward to seeing you on time at class then and not before" and just not opening the door if they try to pull a fast one on you.

Biggestdoormatever · 08/04/2023 14:24

Angebot · 08/04/2023 14:10

I'd told them all beforehand. And
I certainly wasn't going to cause a scene, follow him and make him put them back
It was a joyous occasion for my child and I let it go.. how bad of me!

Show quote history

I fully agree with you.

All these demands of 'what did you do about it?' from a small cohort on this thread is tedious.

I've said it before on here - sometimes not calling someone out at the time is not because you're weak-willed, it's an assessment of the situation and what is appropriate. If that mother was sitting watching her son then she would not have liked you 'interfering'. A row would possibly have broken out - definitely a scene of some sort - and that would have tainted the day for everyone else.

The 'calling the CFsout at all times' brigade here are very much coming from a place of; people are out to get you and if you don't stop them, you deserve what happens next. Most of the time the lesson to not have them in your life moving forward is worth far more than whatever they gained. I don't want my behaviour to be driven by the occasional CFs standards, I want to continue to be generous, hospitable and welcoming and assume this will continue to attract similar people into my life.

Having said that tolerating a repeat offender CF is another story and my username is only half ironic. I had a thread here some time ago and mainly motivated by the replies here I tackled it head on and felt great about it.

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