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What is the most CF behaviour someone has shown when visiting your home?

1000 replies

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 06/04/2023 18:28

Just that really......

Mine was a few years ago and I'm still Confused whenever I think about it.

My youngest had started primary school a few months prior to the event and she had got a bit friendly with one of the other children in the class and as a result I had got to know their mum quite well, in terms of chatting in the playground anyway.

We had storm one morning on the school run and as it was much closer to my house than hers I invited her back for a cuppa till the storm passed. I put the kettle on to boil and then went to the loo, then had to take an "urgent" phone call from my eldest school for some reason or other, can't remember what exactly and it certainly wasn't an emergency.

When I was upstairs I heard some clattering around in the kitchen and then heard a sizzling noise.

When I went back downstairs she was frying bacon. She hadn't asked, I hadn't offered and it meant she had gone through my fridge and cupboards the first time she had been to my house. When I asked what she was doing she said she was hungry and hadn't eaten that day Confused

Safe to say I didn't ask her to come back after that!!

What CF behaviours have others shown in your home?

OP posts:
Itsmebutnotme · 08/04/2023 11:02

Emotionalsupportviper · 08/04/2023 08:33

And suppose someone has athletes' foot, or a verruca or something.

There was a thread a while back (can't remember full detail) where the OP had said her young teen nephew had stopped a night and she had to wash sheets etc because other family were coming and needed the bed.

Half the replies said "Yes - I'd change the sheets, too'" The other half were "He's 14 (or whatever) - he gets a shower every day - how dirty do you think he is? Just leave the sheets on."

Then someone pointed out the favourite bedtime hobby of teenage boys . . . 😬

Even if I hadn't been a rabid sheet-changer before this (I was), I would have been one after it.

I know, right! So many, many reasons...

Redebs · 08/04/2023 11:05

Emotionalsupportviper · 08/04/2023 08:33

And suppose someone has athletes' foot, or a verruca or something.

There was a thread a while back (can't remember full detail) where the OP had said her young teen nephew had stopped a night and she had to wash sheets etc because other family were coming and needed the bed.

Half the replies said "Yes - I'd change the sheets, too'" The other half were "He's 14 (or whatever) - he gets a shower every day - how dirty do you think he is? Just leave the sheets on."

Then someone pointed out the favourite bedtime hobby of teenage boys . . . 😬

Even if I hadn't been a rabid sheet-changer before this (I was), I would have been one after it.

Turned out not to be a teenage boy, if I remember...

Allergictoironing · 08/04/2023 11:07

SchoolTripDrama · 08/04/2023 10:56

Wheres the CF part? She’s your DIL and she bought your dessert! You expect her to do dishes in YOUR house??? It’s you that’s the CF here, not her

She's family, so she should help out if she comes regularly for dinner. If she wanted to be treated as a guest, she shouldn't pour drinks for herself & her DH without asking first; and if she wants to be treated as family she should offer to pour drinks for others at the same time - can't have it both ways.

Also taking home the remaining desserts she's brought as her contribution to the meal? That's just plain rude, unless it was something that costs a fortune in which case she should have just brought enough. Bringing a contribution to dinner is a very normal thing, especially when the host has catered to your dietary needs with what they have cooked. Taking home any left overs isn't, unless it's something the host doesn't like (and in that case, why bring it as your contribution in the first place?).

SchoolTripDrama · 08/04/2023 11:07

dontgobaconmyheart · 06/04/2023 19:22

I'll preface this by saying that I'm not overly precious about 'CF' behaviour and usually am not that bothered by it so wasn't hugely bothered by this either, we thought it was quite funny.

DP had said to a colleague that he was putting some of our garden furniture to the furniture charity shop and they apparently piped up and said they'd take it - absolutely fine. He turned up with his wife who came in, started picking up random things (a vase, cushions, books etc) and just kept saying " are you getting rid of this as well?" - to which I said no just the garden furniture, we've ordered a bigger set so need it out the way, thanks for coming to get it etc.

Then she saw an occasional chair on the way out and stopped to say how much she liked it. I said thanks, we should use it more really as we hardly sit on it and I do like it, and told her where we got it. She responded with " well if you don't really use it then you surely don't really need it - I'll give you a tenner for it" - it was really expensive to buy too. I think at that point we realised we'd made an awful mistake and ushered them out with the table set as quickly as possible and collapsed laughing once they'd gone.

DP said that as they were leaving apparently she was complaining that we didn't tell her that it needed a repaint (I don't think it did really, to be honest).

Collapsed laughing? Confused

SchoolTripDrama · 08/04/2023 11:09

Abouttoblow · 06/04/2023 19:26

She probably wouldn't have wanted to come back after you gave her a butteredbacon sandwich. That's a sure fire way to end a blossoming friendship

It's not a bacon sandwich if it doesn't have butter on it. * *

Eugh! Butter and bacon? That's revolting. There's enough fat dripping from bacon as it is

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/04/2023 11:09

@JudgeJ , I can never understand why people are so keen on Lurpak - I had to buy it for years when we lived in the Middle East and no other was available - and I really don’t see that it’s anything remotely special.

And why support Danish farmers rather than our own? Denmark is absolutely notorious for the most horrendous factory farming.
Personally I find sundry British brands of butter absolutely fine.

Georgyporky · 08/04/2023 11:11

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/04/2023 11:09

@JudgeJ , I can never understand why people are so keen on Lurpak - I had to buy it for years when we lived in the Middle East and no other was available - and I really don’t see that it’s anything remotely special.

And why support Danish farmers rather than our own? Denmark is absolutely notorious for the most horrendous factory farming.
Personally I find sundry British brands of butter absolutely fine.

?????????????????????????

SchoolTripDrama · 08/04/2023 11:16

Deadringer · 06/04/2023 19:39

I can't beat the op, but my sil is a nosy cf and has form for snooping around people's houses when she visits. She is a lot older than me and we aren't particularly friendly but she used to call in occasionally. On her last visit she went upstairs 'to use the loo' then came down with an outfit from my wardrobe, asking could she have it as she had never seen me wear it. It was brand new, I had bought it to wear to a freiends wedding! No embarrassment whatsoever about rooting in my wardrobe.

Let me guess, you let her have it and didn't complain 🙄

GatoradeMeBitch · 08/04/2023 11:21

I had Paris cafe chairs in my conservatory - the woven style. While I was making coffee my new friend and her toddler son were sitting in there. When I came back in he had levered a toy under the weave of a chair and broken it and was pulling it all apart in front of his mother who was smiling indulgently at him, and then beamed proudly at me. I was supposed to be impressed that he wrecked my chair so quickly...

SchoolTripDrama · 08/04/2023 11:21

BabaBooPuffinsRock · 06/04/2023 19:53

Two visitors came to see us 2 weeks after I'd had a C-section and was still feeling the after effects. I won't say who they were, but we live a long way from them. They brought suitcases into the house. We have on-street parking and just thought they were over-worried about theft.

It got to about 6pm and they said they were ready for bed. We said "well it was lovely to see you" but they started walking upstairs and said they were staying with us for THREE DAYS and apparently had already told us (we had very clearly told them they couldn't stay with us on the phone before the visit).

PLEASE tell me you kicked them out and didn't just rollover and all it

KettrickenSmiled · 08/04/2023 11:22

Angebot · 07/04/2023 22:04

I was right next to him but got distracted for a second. I saw him carrying them away. Tbh I wouldn't have said anything as it would have made me look like a stingy mam

🙄
& this is exactly how CF's get away with CF'ery.

How would it have been stingy to have pointed out that the muffins were for everybody, so everybody needed to have only one?
How on earth could a woman who has laid on a massive buffet for 30 be viewed as stingy?

As the parent in charge, it was your JOB to police this.
Being scared of somebody thinking you are stingy, when you are obviously not, is an excuse - possibly for classic British embarrassment at needing to point out an etiquette fail to another person.

Not that I'm labelling a child a CF - that's possibly down to the way his parents raised him, more likely just an impulse control thing. Young kids need this explained to them, being childishly greedy for muffins doesn't really make the grade for Fuckery.

IchWill · 08/04/2023 11:24

I still dine out on this one. When myself and ex-DH were in our 20s, we bought a house, decided to throw a housewarming, and suggested guests turn up in 60s or 70s fancy dress.

Being young, everyone went full-out on outfits, but we were amused that we have three jumpsuit-era Elvis's rock up. Two in white satin, one in black. (This part's important).

Elvis in black (Lee) was a mere acquaintance of DH, and when DH invited the lads he played football with to our party, and felt obliged to extend invite to this Lee and his wife who was in earshot, even though we didn't know them.

So the night's in full swing, brilliant fun, after a few hours, one of the white satin Elvis's heads home with his wife as they had to travel to a different town to get home.

A few of hours later, Lee and his wife are nowhere to be seen, we find them in the lounge (we'd not had party in that room as it's adjoined to neighbour's house who had a young child) and Lee and his wife were both passed out on the sofa.

I gently woke them, as I knew party would be winding down soon and asked them if I should call them a cab. Bleary-eyed, they came into kitchen, my DH and all his mates were in garden smoking. Lee starts chatting to the remaining fellow Elvis in the kitchen. Pleasant chit chat. When all of sudden black satin Elvis attacks Elvis in white satin, grabs him, sending him flying along the breakfast bar, knocking bottles and glasses off, then throws him to floor and starts raining punches on our friend, all the blokes were outside oblivious to our screaming at Lee to get off him, except one man. My mate's DH, who's dressed as Ringo Starr, he jumps in to try and break it up and gets his glasses broken in the process, in a panic, I start calling the police as a friend goes outside to get the blokes to come in and help break it up.

Upon hearing me on the phone to the police, evil Elvis gets off my friend, grabs his wife and flees. The police were in the area and asked for a description, I say he's dressed like Elvis. 🤣

in the commotion, evil Elvis left his wig and bejeweled Cumberland, which we hope the fancy dress shop charged him for. He was too embarrassed to come back to get them.

He never apologised, or spoke to DH again, but we heard on the grapevine that he was usually teetotal, and got aggressive if he drank alcohol. The night of our party he drank a whole bottle of whisky with his wife.

It was horrible at the time, but the story of good Elvis and evil Elvis rolling around out kitchen / diner floor, with Ringo Starr trying to break them up, is a great story to share. 😅

PS: Good Elvis was okay. Was just a bit bruised and all shook up. 😁. He laughs about it now too.

cheekyffer · 08/04/2023 11:25

Had to stop working when very ill (nearly died and did not give up work easily - high pressure job, had paid off house so it was possible, though not a good situation obviously). Local CF with two very badly behaved kids contacts my husband to see if we can look after the kids every morning and take them to school. We would have done it in an emergency, but this was to provide regular childcare in the middle of her custody battle with her husband. Had to say no as I could not even look after myself and was needing care from my husband. Everyone locally knew how bad it was and we had done a lot for others before and suddenly had others kindly helping us. We found out later that at a kid's party she has a nasty little talk to DC about how it 'is better for children if their mummy's work'.

IchWill · 08/04/2023 11:27

*cumberband

Fucking autocorrect, evil Elvis wasn't wearing a sausage.

KettrickenSmiled · 08/04/2023 11:27

Zizz · 07/04/2023 22:06

When I lived with my boyfriend (who sometimes smoked dope), he brought a friend home. I offered her tea or coffee and she declined but said, "Have you got a spoon?" I handed her one and she put some white powder in it and struck a match... it was heroin! As she was our guest, I was too polite to make any protest, but I was livid. Once she'd gone, I practically flayed my boyfriend alive.

This is really, really hard to understand.

Both you & b/f sat there like lemons while his friend cooked & took class A's in your home, neither of you objected let alone intervened, & instead of chucking her out, you meekly waited tul she left.

You then blamed your b/f for behaving in exactly the same passive way as you.
Unless you're saying he issued an engraved RSVP expressly inviting her to come & do smack at your gaff, how was he any more to blame that you?
Why were you angry with him, instead of with the smackhead?

Emotionalsupportviper · 08/04/2023 11:38

SchoolTripDrama · 08/04/2023 11:09

Eugh! Butter and bacon? That's revolting. There's enough fat dripping from bacon as it is

THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH FAT!

Fat has all the flavour . . .

KettrickenSmiled · 08/04/2023 11:39

wyntersuhn · 08/04/2023 04:22

A couple of dads stayed until around 1pm because they were friends with DH from one of the DC's hobbies. So it wasn't awkward that the other mum was still there. Then she helped me tidy up a bit, so still not hugely awkward. Then MIL and FIL turned up to see how the party went, so she sat and chatted with them over a cup of tea, still not horribly weird. Then the DC opened and played with some presents, so she supervised that while I did a few things around the house. DH decided to go and have an afternoon nap, and my DCs put a movie on which her DCs wanted to watch, so she sat and watched it with them. Then my DCs asked if her DCs could stay for dinner, it was awkward to say no so they stayed. DH decided to open some wine and they chatted over that for quite some time while I pottered around doing things, cooking dinner etc. It was only when I couldn't stop yawning that she decided to pack up and go. She's a fellow school mum with similar mum friends and we run into each other all of the time - DH thought I was enjoying her company so didn't say anything, and there was no opportunity to boot her out without seeming abrupt. I genuinely felt sorry that she'd got the party time wrong and thought having her and her DC stay at ours for an hour or so would be all that was needed before they left. I was wrong.
In a thread of over 500 CF posts I'm not sure why mine has attracted the limelight, but there's a first time for everything I guess.

I think it attracted the limelight because you wrote a post about a CF overstaying her welcome, but when asked why you didn't woman up & prod her to leave, you then posted a blow-by-blow account of a guest who wasn't in the least cheeky. You made her welcome at every stage!

SpicedPumpkinLatte · 08/04/2023 11:43

cassandre · 07/04/2023 10:05

@femfemlicious Seriously? What a retrograde and unfeminist thing to say.

Where a mum chooses to breastfeed is up to her! And she was in her own home as another poster pointed out.

Each to their own but I agree woth @femfemlicious . I wouldn't get my tits out in front of a random man, especially if it was my house and I could go to any other room for more privacy.

KettrickenSmiled · 08/04/2023 11:45

Redebs · 08/04/2023 06:37

I'm very pro-breastfeeding and would support a baby's right to be fed anywhere, but I think if you have a lone workman in your house and he feels uncomfortable with you getting a boob out, then it's reasonable for him to ask you to not be in the same room. Would be better if he went and waited in his van, or another room, but he's completely entitled not to be there when you breastfeed.
I guess his rudeness was a reaction of surprise and anxiety.

No.

A thousand times no.

It is NOT women's job to pander to men's feelings about breastfeeding.
Men do NOT have the right to forbid women to do anything in their own homes, & this ridiculous pussy-footing about male 'sensitivities' is one of the chief enablers of male entitlement.

Men's feelings do not trump women's rights & freedoms.

If this man had a problem, it was up to him to make himself scarce. It was NOT up to him to even comment, let alone negatively, & to tell a woman - a customer! - what she is allowed to do in her own home is outrageous.

SpicedPumpkinLatte · 08/04/2023 11:45

Antiquiteas · 07/04/2023 10:37

Interesting choice of name for a poster who holds backwards views about women such as these.

It's not "backwards" to choose when and where you expose your body. If a woman makes a choice not to expose herself to a man, that is absolutely not a backwards point of view.

Itsmebutnotme · 08/04/2023 11:46

Why the hate for Lurpak?

Deadringer · 08/04/2023 11:47

SchoolTripDrama · 08/04/2023 11:16

Let me guess, you let her have it and didn't complain 🙄

I did in me hole. I haven't let her into my house since.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 08/04/2023 11:47

SpicedPumpkinLatte · 08/04/2023 11:45

It's not "backwards" to choose when and where you expose your body. If a woman makes a choice not to expose herself to a man, that is absolutely not a backwards point of view.

breastfeeding her baby is not “choosing to expose her body to a man” ffs

SpicedPumpkinLatte · 08/04/2023 11:49

But breastfeeding requires a woman to get her tit out. And she should only do that where SHE feels comfortable doing so. And if that is not in front of a random man, she shouldn't be called backward for her preference.

Antiquiteas · 08/04/2023 11:50

Can the boring bastards please stop telling posters off for how they reacted at the time! What’s the point?

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