Page 23 | What is the most CF behaviour someone has shown when visiting your home?

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 2023-04-06T17:28:52+00:00

Just that really...... Mine was a few years ago and I'm still [confused] whenever I think about it. My youngest had started primary school a few months prior to the event and she had got a bit friendly with one of the other children in the class and as a result I had got to know their mum quite well, in terms of chatting in the playground anyway. We had storm one morning on the school run and as it was much closer to my house than hers I invited her back for a cuppa till the storm passed. I put the kettle on to boil and then went to the loo, then had to take an "urgent" phone call from my eldest school for some reason or other, can't remember what exactly and it certainly wasn't an emergency. When I was upstairs I heard some clattering around in the kitchen and then heard a sizzling noise. When I went back downstairs she was frying bacon. She hadn't asked, I hadn't offered and it meant she had gone through my fridge and cupboards the first time she had been to my house. When I asked what she was doing she said she was hungry and hadn't eaten that day [confused] Safe to say I didn't ask her to come back after that!! What CF behaviours have others shown in your home?

Reigateforever · 08/04/2023 08:03

A German couple wanted to visit me, in midwinter, a single mother working several jobs, in term time. I suggested that it would be better during the holidays in warmer weather, they persisted and I said it wasn’t convenient as I was working all hours. They announced ‘surprise’ they had booked flights and would be arriving at a small airport 105 kilometres from where I live to be picked up. Went to pick them up, parked the car, collected her. After I paid the car parking fee, she laughed as her airfare was a special price and half the price of I had just paid to park the car. Her husband wasn’t with her as he was coming on another flight another day on a special priced ticket. I told her I couldn’t collect him due to work. When at work I don’t heat my home, however I had to while she stayed but she wasn’t happy because it wasn’t as warm as she wanted, she hadn’t bought warm enough clothes and didn’t my ex pay maintenance? When her husband arrived he wanted a German breakfast which I couldn’t afford but I just told her that I couldn’t shop because of work and directed her to the deli shop for dried meats etc. I was told the hours I ate with DD wasn’t convenient for her husband, I replied that if she cooked the meal, I would be grateful as I was working evenings also. She didn’t. She said they would eat out and I asked her if they could take my DD aged 11, they didn’t. It went on for a week, I was glad to see the back of them. My gift from them, a framed photo of her,

Itsmebutnotme · 08/04/2023 08:06

Emotionalsupportviper · 08/04/2023 07:41

You can smell people.

This is why even if someone had only stayed in our spare room for a night, and was a vey clean person, there's no way I would just air the bed as some people seem to do - the sheets might be still "clean" but there would be a particular body smell that would linger. I'd have to wash them.

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Airing does not get rid of shed skin...

Itsmebutnotme · 08/04/2023 08:10

Emotionalsupportviper · 08/04/2023 07:29

You should save up for a tub - it's an investment.

We keep ours in a specially constructed freezer box inthe safe, next to my tiaras.

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🤣🤣🤣

Emotionalsupportviper · 08/04/2023 08:33

Itsmebutnotme · 08/04/2023 08:06

Airing does not get rid of shed skin...

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And suppose someone has athletes' foot, or a verruca or something.

There was a thread a while back (can't remember full detail) where the OP had said her young teen nephew had stopped a night and she had to wash sheets etc because other family were coming and needed the bed.

Half the replies said "Yes - I'd change the sheets, too'" The other half were "He's 14 (or whatever) - he gets a shower every day - how dirty do you think he is? Just leave the sheets on."

Then someone pointed out the favourite bedtime hobby of teenage boys . . . 😬

Even if I hadn't been a rabid sheet-changer before this (I was), I would have been one after it.

Wantosleep39 · 08/04/2023 08:42

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 06/04/2023 18:37

She had already started to cook it so I just buttered some bread and made sandwiches rather than wasting it. Told her I wasn't happy as it was for the kids for their Saturday morning treat after swimming lessons. She didn't say anything about that but did give me some money the next day in the playground

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I wouldn’t make her guilty while she was eating. What she did was very rude but I wouldn’t make her uncomfortable while she was eating. And I wouldn’t invite her again. In my culture we never make people uncomfortable about eating. No matter how rude they are. You sound annoyed me more than her to be honest 🙈😆

Antiquiteas · 08/04/2023 08:44

Wantosleep39 · 08/04/2023 08:42

I wouldn’t make her guilty while she was eating. What she did was very rude but I wouldn’t make her uncomfortable while she was eating. And I wouldn’t invite her again. In my culture we never make people uncomfortable about eating. No matter how rude they are. You sound annoyed me more than her to be honest 🙈😆

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Eh? The OP‘s actions annoyed you more than the rude AF bacon thief? Weird boundaries you have.

Shoxfordian · 08/04/2023 08:45

@Wantosleep39
Surely she should feel uncomfortable about eating something she wasn’t offered and just helped herself too? It’s outrageous behaviour

WalterWitty · 08/04/2023 08:49

Loving this thread OP!

I have a few!!

Person who when visiting allows their DC to roam my house, like upstairs in our bedrooms while she just sits there…one time they got a charcoal mask and spread it on surfaces and stained the carpets…

Was off sick from work and my now ex SIL let herself into the house and walked into the lounge (where I was quietly dying a death on the sofa) flicking through our mail. She literally just said, oh I didn’t know you’d be here 🤣 When faced with such CFuckery you actually can’t say anything, it’s so odd.

Another, friends DS had ‘soiled’ their pants while at my house, she went off to tidy him up - hours after they’d left I found his pants full of 💩 just plonked in my kitchen bin…

Snugglemonkey · 08/04/2023 08:57

Redebs · 08/04/2023 06:37

I'm very pro-breastfeeding and would support a baby's right to be fed anywhere, but I think if you have a lone workman in your house and he feels uncomfortable with you getting a boob out, then it's reasonable for him to ask you to not be in the same room. Would be better if he went and waited in his van, or another room, but he's completely entitled not to be there when you breastfeed.
I guess his rudeness was a reaction of surprise and anxiety.

If he feels uncomfortable about a boob being used for what it is for he is a twat and can fuck off out of my house.

custardbear · 08/04/2023 09:04

@CriticalAlert - god that's horrific! Well done you though for turning your life around. Some people really are scum bag dregs of the sewage farms

mustgetoffmn · 08/04/2023 09:30

In my “book” (lol) a visitor has to be VERY close indeed for it to be OK to turn up unannounced. That’s enough for me. The rest, well …. Trouble is with children involved hard to make a fuss in front of them

Purkled · 08/04/2023 09:31

MIL came on holiday with us one year. It was just a staycation but we didn’t have a lot of spare cash and I’d scrimped and saved and assumed she’d be paying for herself.
She didn’t pay a penny, even for food or ice creams, just tagged along like an extra child. When we arrived at the holiday house she even picked out the best bedroom and said she’d have that one…

mustgetoffmn · 08/04/2023 09:31

Somebodiesmother · 06/04/2023 19:00

Some of you need to grow backbones.

Lol you’re rather missing the point of this post.

mustgetoffmn · 08/04/2023 09:36

M.H. Obviously

Witchbitch20 · 08/04/2023 09:49

Hosted a group of friends for the weekend.
on Friday evening I cooked on Saturday evening I ordered a takeaway. Someone asked about contributing, but I said “thank you for offering but it’s my treat, as it saved my cooking”.

When they left on Sunday I went to strip the beds and found money left at the side of the bed “to cover the takeaway”. Actually found it really insulting, to have money left at the side of the bed.

At the same time, nobody had brought even a bottle of wine and one of the guests had a riffle through my wardrobe (not the wardrobe itself but the top cupboards, which means they’d stood on a chair to reach) and found a box full of dressing up outfits and proceeded to come downstairs in a selection of wigs throughout the day.

Iwasafool · 08/04/2023 09:53

My dad's brother brought his new wife to visit. Dad and his brother went to look at something dad was doing and mum made tea, new aunt asked for a plate, took a big chocolate cake out of her bag and cut herself a slice and put the cake back in her bag. Mum and us 3 kids sitting in awkward silence watching her wolf the cake down.

Dad had 6 brothers, four were lovely but this one and the youngest brother were bossy and very full of themselves, this uncle very big on good behaviour and good manners he expected from children, shame he didn't expect the same from his wife.

Newestname002 · 08/04/2023 10:01

@WalterWitty

Was off sick from work and my now ex SIL let herself into the house and walked into the lounge (where I was quietly dying a death on the sofa) flicking through our mail. She literally just said, oh I didn’t know you’d be here 🤣 When faced with such CFuckery you actually can’t say anything, it’s so odd.

Something similar happened to me years ago when I was lodging. Another (newish) lodger opened my door, didn't see me in bed and started opening cupboards and going through my stuff. I said loudly "Hello can I help you?" and she jumped a few inches and mumbled something before scuttling off. I got a lock put in my door the next day. 🌹

MacarenaMacarena · 08/04/2023 10:23

wyntersuhn · 08/04/2023 04:22

A couple of dads stayed until around 1pm because they were friends with DH from one of the DC's hobbies. So it wasn't awkward that the other mum was still there. Then she helped me tidy up a bit, so still not hugely awkward. Then MIL and FIL turned up to see how the party went, so she sat and chatted with them over a cup of tea, still not horribly weird. Then the DC opened and played with some presents, so she supervised that while I did a few things around the house. DH decided to go and have an afternoon nap, and my DCs put a movie on which her DCs wanted to watch, so she sat and watched it with them. Then my DCs asked if her DCs could stay for dinner, it was awkward to say no so they stayed. DH decided to open some wine and they chatted over that for quite some time while I pottered around doing things, cooking dinner etc. It was only when I couldn't stop yawning that she decided to pack up and go. She's a fellow school mum with similar mum friends and we run into each other all of the time - DH thought I was enjoying her company so didn't say anything, and there was no opportunity to boot her out without seeming abrupt. I genuinely felt sorry that she'd got the party time wrong and thought having her and her DC stay at ours for an hour or so would be all that was needed before they left. I was wrong.
In a thread of over 500 CF posts I'm not sure why mine has attracted the limelight, but there's a first time for everything I guess.

Wyntersuhn - it's crazy how these situations can sneak up on us! The "overstaying" theme is a recurring one on the thread - it's inspiring me to prepare some responses/excuses to potential overstayers, try to head this off before it gets awkward!
PS I'm impressed you had enough decent food handy for a crowd - it would have been fish fingers at mine!!

Stoic123 · 08/04/2023 10:35

Travelling with a group of 10 on a 2 week tour (all strangers at start). We ate meals together (cheapish cafes and restaurants) and, when the bill came, just threw in cash to cover what you'd ordered (plus small tip).

For the first few days we were constantly short so needed to scrabble around to make up the difference. We kept an eye out and soon identified the culprit. She was challenged: why she had only left enough to cover her main course but not salad or dessert? Her reason: "I didn't like them very much so don't think I should have to pay for them" (still guzzled). No explanation (a shrug) when asked why she then thought it was reasonable for the rest to cover instead. I wish I had a photo capturing the expressions around the table.

After that, we told her she'd be getting separate bills from the rest of the group and could ask restaurants to remove any items she had a problem with (she never did). No more shortfalls.

There's nothing like the presence of a CF to bond the rest of a group- it turned out to be a fab holiday.

Stoic123 · 08/04/2023 10:36

Sorry, not round house - but don't have any of those (lucky I guess).

GoodChat · 08/04/2023 10:36

Witchbitch20 · 08/04/2023 09:49

Hosted a group of friends for the weekend.
on Friday evening I cooked on Saturday evening I ordered a takeaway. Someone asked about contributing, but I said “thank you for offering but it’s my treat, as it saved my cooking”.

When they left on Sunday I went to strip the beds and found money left at the side of the bed “to cover the takeaway”. Actually found it really insulting, to have money left at the side of the bed.

At the same time, nobody had brought even a bottle of wine and one of the guests had a riffle through my wardrobe (not the wardrobe itself but the top cupboards, which means they’d stood on a chair to reach) and found a box full of dressing up outfits and proceeded to come downstairs in a selection of wigs throughout the day.

You're offended that they made a nice gesture to contribute towards the takeaway, but also offended they didn't bring a gift? They can't win.

DetectiveDouche · 08/04/2023 10:38

Teacoaster · 07/04/2023 00:01

An electrician brought a random woman round whilst doing a job at my house for a few days for some "fun" and at my expense (I was paying for his time). I wasn't home when this happened but I caught his behaviour on cameras I had installed around my property. I wrote about it on Mumsnet at the time and I was deemed the unreasonable one because I filmed his behaviour rather than calling him out straightaway and risk having no electricity to my house if he decided not to come back.

And yes, I called him out once the job had completed but I was still the one in the wrong because Mumsnet said I was.

Moral of the story, don't tell Mumsnet about cheeky fuckery 🙃

@Teacoaster I remember that thread and following it with great interest, but I seem to remember you having loads of support (rightly) and just a few randoms thinking otherwise

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 10:39

Ishouldbeoutside · 08/04/2023 07:58

I thought he would stay one or two nights. After several nights ( can’t remember how many) , I asked him to leave.

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Oh, right. You made it sound as if he'd moved in.

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 10:41

mustgetoffmn · 08/04/2023 09:31

Lol you’re rather missing the point of this post.

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How so?

SchoolTripDrama · 08/04/2023 10:56

nowtherearethree · 06/04/2023 18:44

My DIL comes to my house we cook for her it is always something she likes as she is vegan. She sits there whilst we tidy up the dishes. She sometimes brings deserts that she likes hands one out to each of us after choosing her own first then proceeds to take home any left. She also pours herself a drink pours her DH a drink
And does not offer anyone else one!

Wheres the CF part? She’s your DIL and she bought your dessert! You expect her to do dishes in YOUR house??? It’s you that’s the CF here, not her