Page 7 | Autistic women assemble!

Nepmarthiturn · 2023-04-04T09:36:01+00:00

...only if and when you're not feeling antisocial and want the entire world to +%$¥ off, or course. 😉😆 A few of us were talking on another thread and thought it would be nice to have a support/ chat thread on here to share interests/ challenges/ parenting issues or whatever we feel like. A little community of autistic women on here that we can dip in and out of but will be supportive and friendly and people who actually get it. Might also be a nice counterbalance to all of the horrific posts about autism that we find here so regularly!! P.S. Have deliberately posted this in chat rather than in the ND Mumsnetters topic because it will hopefully reach more people who would like to join in. I didn't even realise that section existed for a long time and often miss threads there as they don't show in active and expect I'm not alone in that. However, in posting this here, we will be relying on the people with obnoxious and ignorant views about autism who so regularly post on Mumsnet, to demonstrate to us their allegedly superior empathy (ha!) and please just leave this thread alone: it's not for you. Many thanks!!

BrightWater · 04/04/2023 13:50

I feel terrible I've managed to upset people on here already. I won't post again so please don't anyone leave

Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 13:51

Dobbyatemysocks · 04/04/2023 13:42

Hello everyone,

Please forgive me but I think I might have found my group - doesn't make sense? but reading a lot of what other posters have put - it's like I'm writing it myself.

I was labeled 'weird' as a kid. A troubled soul or just a pain was/is how people refer to me. Eccentric should be my middle name!!

Currently waiting for a diagnosis for ADHD, autism and Asperger's. Doc has also said I may have low level bipolar disorder as well.

It all came to a head when 'the governess - Anne (sorry can't remember her surname) was on I'm a Celebrity. The way she broke down in the camp on the first night and how she coped with the challenges is how I deal with my life every single day. I also have a head full of facts and figures and have been banned from a few pub quizzes because apparently I am cheating.

Failed exams for silly reasons - English language because I can only write in capital letters (typing is easier). Maths I did the workings out in my head. I see letters as blocks and can speed read (had that tested and I'm in the top 1% and have been employed just for that skill and lost jobs because of it too).

Emotionally, I find it very hard - I find people really hard to deal with, especially if they are strangers and have very few friends. Other times I can be the life and soul of the party! Taking charge and playing the fool also make an appearance.

I have lots of fobles (my dad named them and I apologise for the spelling) can't wear matching socks, I have outfit's, not clothes - everything I wear for a day is hung up, on hangers in my wardrobe. It would take me hours to work it out otherwise.

At one point I genuinely thought I could read every page on the internet - I have read every book in various school libraries in the past.

And right now I am seriously considering deleting this because this is the first time I have been really open with complete strangers.

Please be kind and thank you for reading.

Going to go and hide in the kitchen, washing up and making tea and coffee if anyone wants one xx

Don't delete! You're welcome here. That sounds really difficult, and such a struggle to be in limbo awaiting diagnosis. Thank you for sharing with us.

Also love your username! 🤣🤣

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twolilacs · 04/04/2023 13:52

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 11:20

Uuugh why do people mess with stuff for no reason?!

So much in the world that doesn't work and people are trying to fix things that are fine already. Grrrr.

Show quote history

Honestly, the frustration I feel when I go in the supermarket and they've had the bright idea of rearranging all the stock on the shelves around in a completely different aisle so nothing is where it supposed to be. Why can't they just leave it all where it was? Grrrr....

Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 13:53

Fair enough, but as a man opening a thread which is specifically for autistic women I feel trampled down all over again so shall just bow out now

😔😔😔

I'm so sorry @teacakie

That's the opposite of what I hoped to happen here.

I hope you can come back at some point. 😔

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Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 13:55

Honestly, the frustration I feel when I go in the supermarket and they've had the bright idea of rearranging all the stock on the shelves around in a completely different aisle so nothing is where it supposed to be. Why can't they just leave it all where it was? Grrrr....

Hideous. And one of the reasons I've not been in a supermarket in a decade. Also the bloody lights and freezing temperature. Total hell. I'd have starved to death without the internet. 🤣

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Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 13:56

CaptainCallisto · 04/04/2023 13:46

Can I join? Autistic mum (on the waiting list for diagnosis, but son's ed psych was in no doubt) of two autistic boys.

It's been a really tough start to the Easter holidays here. DS2, who is also dyspraxic, fell and cracked one of his ribs on Saturday, which has meant a lot of the things we had planned to do have gone by the wayside. DS1 is really struggling with the change (he had a plan all written out of what we were doing when) and blaming his brother.

I'm feeling annoyed with myself because it was a colleague's 40th on Friday evening, and she'd invited us all. I'd planned on going, even spent ages (and I mean ages!) planning what I would wear, how I would do my hair...and I couldn't do it. It got to about 5.00 and I started panicking that there would be people I didn't know, and loud noise, and maybe flashing lights, and everyone would be drinking, and I just couldn't go. Now there are pictures of all my colleagues having a great time, so I know there were lots of people I could have sat with, and I'm annoyed that I've missed out again. I've taken refuge in my colouring books today and left the boys to their TV and screens.

Hello! Aaargh yes the joy of social events. So hard to go, and so upsetting afterwards sometimes if you don't. 😩

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Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 13:57

Furries · 04/04/2023 13:46

And the tortoise is just too cute! What’s his name. Like a pp, I would be too worried that they I’d do something wrong and they wouldn’t wake up after hibernating.

I have a cat. Sorry, I should rephrase that - my cat lets me live in his house. He’s a little comedian - he’s 13 now and has probably made me laugh at least once a day since I got him at 3 months old. I’m procrastinating again, aren’t I?!

Oh goodness, he's a gorgeous boy isn't he? 🥰

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CaptainCallisto · 04/04/2023 13:58

It's why I love online supermarket shopping. I don't have to interact with anyone but the driver, I can order at my own pace, with my list, and I don't have to panic about things not being where I thought they were. Also, I don't have to park the car in the ludicrous carpark!

Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 13:58

BrightWater · 04/04/2023 13:50

I feel terrible I've managed to upset people on here already. I won't post again so please don't anyone leave

You haven't. It wasn't you at all. Please don't feel you can't post.

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Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 13:59

CaptainCallisto · 04/04/2023 13:58

It's why I love online supermarket shopping. I don't have to interact with anyone but the driver, I can order at my own pace, with my list, and I don't have to panic about things not being where I thought they were. Also, I don't have to park the car in the ludicrous carpark!

Yes, all of this!!

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Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 14:01

Boopydoo · 04/04/2023 13:17

I suspect I am there somewhere, two sons diagnosed, daughter I strongly suspect is also autistic. We've discussed it all at length to the point she's telling me things, and I'm thinking shit, me too. I've reached my 50's and seem to be falling apart, got menopause issues sorted out but anxiety is sky high. Flying on Thursday to de-stress but I'm so stressed about the journey and having to cope with other people, I can barely function today. And yet I love travelling, I love flying, just not with one of my children! It's like I'm doing all I can to hold myself together, I haven't got anything spare to make sure my son will be ok. Luckily his Dad is coming too or I'd be even worse. Last time we went anywhere I sat on my own on the plane and loved it, this time we're all in a row and I'm regretting not booking a seat away from them. God I sound horrible.
I feel like I've been a swan for a long time and now I've morphed into some mad clucking turkey flitting here and there and have lost my ability to cope anymore.

Not horrible at all. I totally get what you mean. I mamaged for so many years but am really reaching my limit now, so burned out, and not sure how much longer I can sustain things. It's scary. I don't know what the answer is. 😕

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Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 14:01

Bepis · 04/04/2023 13:17

I found you all 🙋🏻‍♀️.

Going to catch up on the thread now

Helloooo! 👋

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wishythinking · 04/04/2023 14:09

I've only recently begun to suspect that I might be autistic (and my DD10 as well), so this thread feels serendipitous. I feel such an odd mix of emotions about it. It would be a relief to have an explanation for why I feel so different and struggle so much with life, but I am also completely daunted by the prospect of trying to get a diagnosis and what to do next. Anyway it is comforting to read everyone's experiences and feel less alone, so I just wanted to say 'hi' and thank you all for sharing.

TheShellBeach · 04/04/2023 14:19

teacakie · 04/04/2023 13:09

I don't want to throw a negative but it's bothering me so much that this thread is for autistic women yet a man has already dipped in.

I mean if that what people are happy with, fair enough, but I had hoped this would be a respected thread where our boundaries were recognised. If it's for autistic parents generally maybe it need the title changed.

I appreciate that poster does indeed sound like a lovely parent, but they are not an autistic woman.

Now I shall get my coat, before you all see me off.

Don't get your coat. I agree with you.

TheShellBeach · 04/04/2023 14:39

Oh Lord.
Has the thread now stopped dead?

Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 14:44

I hope not!

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Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 14:45

wishythinking · 04/04/2023 14:09

I've only recently begun to suspect that I might be autistic (and my DD10 as well), so this thread feels serendipitous. I feel such an odd mix of emotions about it. It would be a relief to have an explanation for why I feel so different and struggle so much with life, but I am also completely daunted by the prospect of trying to get a diagnosis and what to do next. Anyway it is comforting to read everyone's experiences and feel less alone, so I just wanted to say 'hi' and thank you all for sharing.

Hello! Glad you could join. 😊

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Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 14:54

Hello! I'd like to join in too please... not diagnosed but learnt a lot from work and my daughter and her children, one officially diagnosed, and remembering how I was when I was little, I've realised that I am. It seems to me that it got 'distilled' down the generations in my family, anyone else have experience of this?

@lifesabitchandthenyoudie there's something in that I think. But also, that modern life is so much more demanding in so many ways, that many of us are perhaps more affected than we would be in a different kind of environment?

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Original poster

Nepmarthiturn · 04/04/2023 14:55

Guy meant to be coming to buy my car is mow an hour late. After I rushed to get ready as obviously left that to the last minute. So now been waiting stressed out for an hour, wasting yet more sunshine. Aaaaargh!

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Exibstudent · 04/04/2023 15:27

@Dobbyatemysocks I can completely relate to the reading and speed reading- I see words as discrete units rather than individual letters as blocks, but it's so hard to explain to others; I know I read much much faster than other people but I don't understand how it takes others so long!

Itsonlyagame · 04/04/2023 15:42

CaptainCallisto · 04/04/2023 13:58

It's why I love online supermarket shopping. I don't have to interact with anyone but the driver, I can order at my own pace, with my list, and I don't have to panic about things not being where I thought they were. Also, I don't have to park the car in the ludicrous carpark!

Urgh, car parks are the worst! That and things not being in stock and completely blowing my carefully planned meal plan.

Needhelp101 · 04/04/2023 16:32

Shyly joining in.

The reading words as blocks has just blown my mind. That's exactly what I do, I am a phenomenally fast reader.

There are a few things mentioned on this thread that have made me go 😳 it's me.

I have a son with ASD, like many on here, realising his diagnosis made me realise my own.

jellybean007 · 04/04/2023 16:42

This thread is so great, I am here too! one DD also autistic, the other not sure. I've realised I am after slowly piecing together all my 'eccentricities' from childhood onwards.

Currently on first holiday in forever, DD so excited to be here but not coping well with so many different things. I'm not coping well with my NT husband's freestyling approach to where we go and where we eat each day - make a plan dammit!

Thank you for being out there!

Maybepossibly22 · 04/04/2023 16:51

crying to have found this thread. I am incredibly incredibly lonely irl and spend my work days having to mask to keep up with my “grown up” job that I must keep because 4 jobs in 2 years is too many. Eurgh. Sorry, hello. I’ll sit down now ☕️

TheShellBeach · 04/04/2023 16:54

Exibstudent · 04/04/2023 15:27

@Dobbyatemysocks I can completely relate to the reading and speed reading- I see words as discrete units rather than individual letters as blocks, but it's so hard to explain to others; I know I read much much faster than other people but I don't understand how it takes others so long!

I'm exactly the same.
But I can't read fiction.
Biographies, true crime and books about air crashes fascinate me, but don't ask me to read fiction.
Well, apart from a few books I read in childhood, and Agatha Christie.