Autistic women assemble!

[Nepmarthiturn]

...only if and when you're not feeling antisocial and want the entire world to +%$¥ off, or course. 😉😆

A few of us were talking on another thread and thought it would be nice to have a support/ chat thread on here to share interests/ challenges/ parenting issues or whatever we feel like. A little community of autistic women on here that we can dip in and out of but will be supportive and friendly and people who actually get it.

Might also be a nice counterbalance to all of the horrific posts about autism that we find here so regularly!!

P.S. Have deliberately posted this in chat rather than in the ND Mumsnetters topic because it will hopefully reach more people who would like to join in. I didn't even realise that section existed for a long time and often miss threads there as they don't show in active and expect I'm not alone in that. However, in posting this here, we will be relying on the people with obnoxious and ignorant views about autism who so regularly post on Mumsnet, to demonstrate to us their allegedly superior empathy (ha!) and please just leave this thread alone: it's not for you. Many thanks!!

I do a lot of procrastinating too. However I convince myself that I do it to avoid situations that I find stressful. Then I go online and spend time reading about stuff that stresses me more! There are some horrible people on mumsnet.

There are truly truly horrible people on Mumsnet. Its no surprise its where I first heard the phrase 'nest of vipers'.

This month so far my procrastination has cost me upwards of £500 in missed deadlines for various things. I belive this is called the "neurodiversity tax" in some circles...!

I often wonder if they're so mean in RL or whether they just enjoy winding people up online. I'm a teacher and we have had a lot of abuse on here.

Yes, he is autistic and has ADHD. I am not diagnosed but definitely neurodivergent, how noone noticed growing up I will never know. Unfortunately he had a funny reaction to melatonin and it sent him off the wall hyper and made his sleep worse! His Paed is useless and unhelpful so I am at a bit of a loss what to do. I am somehow managing to work part time but I am really struggling with tiredness.

So many women realise they are ND after their children get dignosed. Was the other way around for me, but I hear it's very common. I have an offline autistic women's support group and almost every single one of us was diagnosed between 25 and 50. I think when we were younger there was so little knowledge of autism. One of my siblings is a walking stereotype of male Asperger's and even he wasn't diagnosed as a child, whereas for women/ girls you'd have had no chance really, it is only in the last few years that how differently it presents in us has been understood at all and there's still a long way to go on that. It is hard to come to terms with how different life could have been with a diagnosis in childhood and proper support, even self-understanding so not having your self-esteem trashed by feeling useless and not understanding why other people seem to be able to do things easily that you can't. But all you can do is look to the future, I tell myself. It's not easy, is it?

That is such a shame about your son's reaction to the melatonin. 😩 I am also trying to juggle work and no sleep and spend half my life being a zombie. 🧟‍♀️ It's so, so hard.

Of course! Welcome. 😊 It can be so isolating. Glad you've found us here and hope that will help a little bit.

£500 is a lot to lose. I'm currently procrastinating from mowing the grass and I really can't blame that on anything but laziness.

Where has this thread been ?!? Can I join ?

Anyone literally overwhelmed but also completely unable to do anything today. Children screaming and I was literally googling earplugs 😩

Ha! I've been procrastinating by starting this thread too. 🤣🤣🤣 Still in dressing gown. Must shower before car person comes. Meant to be making the most of sunshine in the garden and still just sitting here. Washing machine brain!!!! Aaaargh! You have my sympathy. Do you have meds for the ADHD? I am finding they help a bit, in bursts. But it's not a complete fix. Still scatter brained, drowning in lists, losing stuff, and procrastinating. Then spending so much time annoyed about procrastinating that I procrastinate fixating on that and still don't do anything....

Also anyone tend to lose keys, wallet ect then end up getting caught up sorting something else like on a repeating loop

My lovely DH got me a tile (basically a tracker for my keys which I usually have missed placed) so can ring my keys from my phone. Mainly it's like I become blind to where my keys are ?

Is it just me ? Or old age setting in ?

Here! Diagnosed in my early sixties. I'm autistic (diagnosed) with adhd (self-diagnosis but believe me, I know it!), rejection sensitive dysphoria (self-diagnosed but ask my therapists), and pathological demand avoidance (just try to get me to do anything at all...)

Having a good day, so far. My mood is often affected by the quality of light, and today the light is very good.

I, too, experience the 'neurodiversity tax'.

I've observed on mumsnet that although many people mean well and try to help each other, there are some who will take anything you say, twist it and try to beat you to death with it. They're best ignored.

@Amireallyhere it is. I'm really quite shocked at myself. I will be okay - just - for now, but the ramifications will be unpleasant to say the least

I loved that thread about the screaming. 🤣🤣 A rather... strong?!?.. emotional reaction, even by my standards. Hilarious!

Aargh yes, the noise. I had to attend two children's birthday parties on Sun. Would never normally agree to this but both children's mums are close friends. One was meant to be drop and leave my son. He had a meltdown so me and youngest had to stay. Which meant change of plans for her, and her having a meltdown, and having to be there for two hours with nothing to do as I'd not brought anything for her because we were meant to leave.... and noise of children and people chatting to me. And then another party PM. 😩 Yesterday I was barely functional, just "please do not speak to me!!". It's so hard with children especially, as they need you and want to talk and ask endless questions and there is just no escape. My youngest is a chatterbox and it's very cute but just so relentless. Sometimes I feel my head may explode!

I lose my keys etc all the time. The man at the key shop knows me, I'm in so often. Son in law has given me air tags (?). They really help.

No one in my immediate family is diagnosed but my parents, in laws, husband, siblings and children all show signs. The people in my house seem all to weave between coping with life and dreadful anxieties about things that other people just get on with. My dh and I feel so guilty about passing this onto our kids.

Quite possibly. What sad losers, tbh.

I'd not heard that expression before but it's spot on!!

My dh and I feel so guilty about passing this onto our kids.

But where would the world be/have been without us? The thinkers, the inspired? We are the inventors, creators. Yes, our lives hurt. But they'd be lost without us.

@StopStartStop do you have any tips on how to ignore such posters? They really set off my deep, autistic need to hammer my point home due to the need to be understood and put across my version of what's 'right'. But it's exhausting and fruitless.

Similar thing to tile !

Honestly the hours I lost looking for thing. Spoke to my friend who is also ND and it's a thing for her too ! Thought it might linked !

Thank you for making me feel less senile ❤️

Hi, been wondering for a while if I am autistic I have 14 DD who was DX at 10. She said yesterday mum you definitely are autistic. I am very sensory, noise, smells, bright lights, certain touches such as sponge and velvet urgh gross. I am 49 so I prob won't ever get DX.

I have three autistic children, all adults now.
Two of them work and the third has PDA and has never worked.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 60s.
It's been such a relief.
Now I can make sense of my life. I've always wondered why so many people thought I was odd or eccentric.

Of course! Welcome!

Oh God. Nothing worse.

My autism consultant recommended some custom made earplugs and they are absolutely amazing. The type that people wear if performing onstage so you can still hear if someone speaks to you but more quietly, and blocks out most background noise. Absolutely brilliant on trains to get rid of background noise too, and busy roads (although have to be more careful crossing!).

Not cheap but they are brilliant. You go to have a mould made of your ears, which is a weird sensory thing I did NOT like. But I have used them so much they are definitely worth it, for surviving children's parties also.

www.acscustom.com/uk/products/hearing-protection/pro-series

Don't feel lonely. I already feel welcome here and I'm sure you are equally welcome.

Thank you for the thread. Joining for when I may be in a chatting frame of mind.