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Original poster

So embarrassed by unexpected guests

252 replies

MortifiedMolly · 02/04/2023 04:23

We were having a really slobby day yesterday. It was mid afternoon and we were all in our pyjamas. There was leftover lunch in various places (thanks to my 2 and 4 year olds), crumbs all over the floor and piles of washing everywhere. This is actually quite unusual for me, I'm usually on top of things but it had been a tiring week and DH hasn't been well, so I've been managing by myself a lot.

Then there is a knock on the door; friends who we hadn't seen for ages and had just been passing by. Caught off guard, I enthusiastically welcomed them in.

It's now 4am and I can't sleep because I'm so embarrassed about the state the house was in. I feel like I never want to see them again!

Not sure why I'm posting this, perhaps someone can make me feel better?? Gah!

OP posts:
Buffs · 03/04/2023 19:13

I like real people who don’t hide the fact they’re not perfect a lot more than uptight, tidy try hards.

Roxy69 · 03/04/2023 19:16

blebbleb · 02/04/2023 08:41

I'm assuming the people who don't think it's rude to turn up unannounced are the ones who think it's ok to do it to others and are completely oblivious if someone is uncomfortable. It's basic manners to check if someone is happy with you visiting first, either if they're home or not. This isn't an episode of Friends!

This. Friends or not, I just want the chance to at least do a quick vacuum to remove the dog hairs.

carbuncleonapigsposterior · 03/04/2023 19:19

Personally, I wouldn't just call in on anyone without texting at the very least, how can you ever know what you are walking into. My step daughter does it quite frequently, she lives not too far away and has the tendency to do that when she is on the way back from the supermarket, however that coincides with our evening meal, sometimes I'm just dishing up. when she appears. I get on with her very well in every respect but this does annoy me, who wants to eat a meal with someone relating their day which is generally what she does to us when actually we just want to talk to each other. I now show her into the front room and tell her we will be with her when we've finished eating. She usually says something like "I was passing so I thought I'd pop in". I just don't get that! passing she may well be, or anyone else who has that tendency, but that doesn't make it convenient for whoever they are calling in on. Our son and girlfriend moved fairly near as at one time, there is no way I'd have just popped in on them because we happened to be passing.

Gingernan · 03/04/2023 19:29

I'm terribly messy ( though my loos are fine) and have lots of creative hobbies,and pets who totally rule the house. My adult daughter who lives here is worse! I need several days warning of visitors.i think it's sad though, we used to drop in on family unannounced all the time.We always had cakes etc to offer!

I don't envy many people but I do want to weep when I go to a lovely tidy house! My grandkids love coming over so I guess it's OK.

Timeturnerplease · 03/04/2023 19:32

DH sometimes pops in for a cup of tea with a workmate if they are in the area between jobs. He doesn’t tell me anymore when it happens because he knows I’ll kill him for letting other see the house in it’s midweek messy state.

Your visitors were being VU OP.

Completelydonechick · 03/04/2023 19:34

I hate people turning up unannounced! I am always spinning around in pj’s, usually cracking on with something important, but not prepared for visitors! If they let me know, I will let them know if I am available and it is convenient! Otherwise, ps o!!

VeganStar · 03/04/2023 19:44

Years ago when I lived with my dsis and her 4 dcs were small, we’d sometimes get visits from our Pastor and sometimes his wife. His wife would always come in the morning just after we had come home from the school run. Breakfast dishes, nighties and pjs all over the place. The pastor would always come late afternoon/ evening when everything was clean,tidy and in its place.
We used to wonder at the conversation they may have had where she would say to him aren’t vegan star and her sister a messy pair, and him saying no dear they keep a lovely clean place. Imagine the confusion.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 03/04/2023 20:29

userxx · 03/04/2023 19:08

No, I sound like I know what I want and what I don't want!

You sound angry, really angry. CBD oil will help, take a fuck ton of it.

Why are some people desperate to dismiss it as “anger” when someone dares to be single-minded and unapologetic?

LindaMo2 · 03/04/2023 20:31

I’m a secret tidier too. I keep everything reasonably ok most of the time but nevertheless I clear up when I know someone is coming. A friend once said ‘your house is always so spotless, how do you keep it that way?’ My reply ‘I did know you were coming’ with a large wink 😉

Bleachmycloths · 03/04/2023 20:34

I HATE unexpected visitors. It’s bordering on rudeness as you’re putting the householder in a very awkward position. A text with 10 minutes notice and to check it’s ok is the least people can do.
I can’t understand why, in today’s techy world, that they didn’t text first.

Ichosetheredpill · 03/04/2023 20:48

Ha. SIL used to do this to us all the time, so we did it to her one day and caught them all in pyjamas. She got the message.

Ichosetheredpill · 03/04/2023 20:50

And apparently the word for running around tidying before someone comes is “scurryfunging”.

Moxysright · 03/04/2023 20:57

I think turning up unannounced is really rude. Like people have said, we have the ability to send a quick text/ call first and check that person is ready to have guests. Happened to me a few times and has made me want to scream

ilovechocolate07 · 03/04/2023 21:01

I was once sorting out my living room which meant that I had scooped everything from under my sofas out to begin to sort through. Had toddler, pre schooler and laminate flooring so you can imagine the crumbs and toys that had been under there strewn across the room as I had literally used a duster to push it all out. My cousin's girlfriend stopped by unannounced and I realised too late that I never said I was in the process of clearing under the sofas and she prob thought I was so grotty. I never see her so not too bothered and I doubt my husband would think twice about that sort of thing.

Redragtoabull · 03/04/2023 21:14

Yawn 🥱

saffy2 · 03/04/2023 21:19

This is hilarious. I LOVE unannounced
visitors, I like going to answer the door
to find out who it is. I actively encourage all my friends and my mother in law (my only family here) to come round unannounced whenever they like!!!
I also really miss the time of answering the phone and not knowing who it is. I hate that everything is now arranged and everyone
knows who is there etc. I miss spontaneity. And
sp I encourage people to drop in on me. I think I generally do text before doing it to others due to the general consensus on this thread, but I find it baffling that everything has to be so arranged these days. I love people dropping by and operate an open door policy for everyone we know ☺️

WilsonMilson · 03/04/2023 21:32

I’ve just realised that I also feel the same way about unsolicited phone calls.

I don’t mind if it’s DS, DH or my mum, but anyone else can just text me. Usually I see a name and just stare at the screen letting it ring out, slightly annoyed that they’ve had the audacity to actually call me and not just text like a normal person!

Macinae · 03/04/2023 21:40

Honestly real friends don't care. I get why you felt that way as I'm the same, and if you know you have company of course you tidy up. But in reality they called in unannounced which I wouldn't do and am not a fan of. It's not like you knew they were coming, and someone who judges you by a slob day isn't a friend.

smizing · 03/04/2023 21:55

userxx · 03/04/2023 19:08

No, I sound like I know what I want and what I don't want!

You sound angry, really angry. CBD oil will help, take a fuck ton of it.

Angry because I don’t want people to come to my house unannounced? Get a grip! You legit sound like lunatic. People can want what they want.

areyousittingontheremote · 03/04/2023 22:04

is this what people mean when they say 'sorry about the mess' ?

Why should I care if your house is messy?

Do they mean 'sorry for myself as I feel embarrassed' ?

I always thought it was an apology to me

userxx · 03/04/2023 22:13

@WomanStanleyWoman2 Because they sound angry maybe.

Nofurme · 03/04/2023 22:17

Doodat · 02/04/2023 04:50

If I was them I’d have thought “what a relief she’s a normal person who sometimes has an untidy house/ a slow Saturday just like the rest of us mortals!”

This exactly!
they came to visit you not view your house - good you answered the door and hope you had a lovely catch up

ReadersD1gest · 03/04/2023 22:42

smizing · 03/04/2023 21:55

Angry because I don’t want people to come to my house unannounced? Get a grip! You legit sound like lunatic. People can want what they want.

Show quote history

Yo do sound a little aerated, tbh. You can want what you want without sounding quite so intense 🤷🏻‍♀️

ReadersD1gest · 03/04/2023 22:43

WilsonMilson · 03/04/2023 21:32

I’ve just realised that I also feel the same way about unsolicited phone calls.

I don’t mind if it’s DS, DH or my mum, but anyone else can just text me. Usually I see a name and just stare at the screen letting it ring out, slightly annoyed that they’ve had the audacity to actually call me and not just text like a normal person!

Are you actually saying phoning people isn't a normal thing to do?

NazMedusa · 03/04/2023 23:43

Very rude of them to turn up unannounced. I may not have even answered the door and later said I was in the bath or something! I've made it quite clear to most of my family and friends to always let me know before dropping by as I'm not good with unplanned visits. I have three kids and currently breastfeeding the youngest; half the time I'm walking around the house with one boob out. Not a good look.