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Original poster

So embarrassed by unexpected guests

252 replies

MortifiedMolly · 02/04/2023 04:23

We were having a really slobby day yesterday. It was mid afternoon and we were all in our pyjamas. There was leftover lunch in various places (thanks to my 2 and 4 year olds), crumbs all over the floor and piles of washing everywhere. This is actually quite unusual for me, I'm usually on top of things but it had been a tiring week and DH hasn't been well, so I've been managing by myself a lot.

Then there is a knock on the door; friends who we hadn't seen for ages and had just been passing by. Caught off guard, I enthusiastically welcomed them in.

It's now 4am and I can't sleep because I'm so embarrassed about the state the house was in. I feel like I never want to see them again!

Not sure why I'm posting this, perhaps someone can make me feel better?? Gah!

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman2 · 02/04/2023 22:05

userxx · 02/04/2023 19:54

Totally agree, who gives a shit what the house looks like.

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Well clearly the OP does, or she wouldn’t have started the thread. And there are several pages of posts agreeing with her.

userxx · 02/04/2023 22:23

@WomanStanleyWoman2 Thanks for stating the obvious, was just giving my opinion on a public forum..... who'd have thought 🤷‍♂️

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 02/04/2023 23:49

And I’m just giving mine. What’s your point?

ReadersD1gest · 02/04/2023 23:56

What's rude about calling on someone without a prior announcement?
I'm sure they didn't give a toss about the state of your house, op, why should they? If they were overcome by a fit of the vapours; they won't come back...
What have you got to lose?

ReadersD1gest · 02/04/2023 23:57

This isn't the 1950s with a homemaker keeping on top of the housework and cleaning, ready to pop the kettle on for all and sundry
And? It doesn't mean you can't let a friend in?

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 03/04/2023 00:15

Not everyone is comfortable with visitors when it’s untidy.

Newestname002 · 03/04/2023 00:46

I dislike unannounced visitors so anyone who just rocks up (friends and family know better) is likely to get ignored and have to go away again. It's not just that my home may be untidy (if often is) but I need my quiet time to decompress and get myself back on an even keel especially on days that have had a number of stressors. I often turn the ringer off my smartphone too.. 🌹

PinkButtercups · 03/04/2023 00:55

Oh, I wouldn't like this! I like my house to be clean and tidy but like you sometimes you have days when laundry can wait etc. I'm sure they didn't mind but can see why you feel the way you do.

I have a ring doorbell so can see who's at my door without answering but anyone with toddlers can't pretend they aren't in! 🤣.

jodes88 · 03/04/2023 10:07

I used to hate unannounced visitors and panic about the state of my house if they called in and would be stressed out if they did.

Then covid happened and I genuinely don't care everyone is welcome anytime at my house you just take me as you find me. 100% rather friends or family call in and be comfortable in doing than not so what if I'm in pyjamas or the hoover needs running round!.

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/04/2023 10:09

Why are you embarrassed, they’re the rude ones. Who turns up unannounced?

pbdr · 03/04/2023 10:13

I do hate when people turn up unannounced for that same reason, although I have say whenever I have visited a friend's house (not unannounced) and it's been messy it hasn't fazed me at all. Unless there are rats and maggots and a stench then I doubt they cared about some mess. It's your house, you're perfectly entitled to relax and not have it like a hotel at all times!

ReadersD1gest · 03/04/2023 10:18

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/04/2023 10:09

Why are you embarrassed, they’re the rude ones. Who turns up unannounced?

Lots of people. Relax...

Dibbydoos · 03/04/2023 10:19

My mate picked me up and asked to use the loo (she might have been being nosey). Thing is you can use tgd downstairs loo, but my son keeps his carpentry tools in it so you have to squeeze in, lol!

I'd also just had the lounge reflected so there were clear plastic boxes filled with lounge stuff in the kitchen too.

She said, "when you have kids and dogs, you can't keep your house perfect. I'd rather have the kids and dogs, though, fuck a perfect house!' Bless her.

Dibbydoos · 03/04/2023 10:20

*refloored

Songbird54321 · 03/04/2023 10:25

I have ocd (the actual, diagnosed, kind, not just what people say when they like to clean 🙄)
I can’t do clutter and my house is spotless the second the kids are in bed or preoccupied. I take medication so that it doesn’t make me want to scream when the kids get up and trash the place within 15 minutes.
I can honestly say I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid if I’d visited you, sounds completely normal to me but I absolutely would feel like you if it was me with the visitors. Strange how we hold ourselves to such high standards when we wouldn’t expect it from friends

ReadersD1gest · 03/04/2023 10:43

Strange how we hold ourselves to such high standards when we wouldn’t expect it from friends
So true.

Elly46 · 03/04/2023 11:28

Glad I’m not alone I don’t accept uninvited guests. I’d just not have answered the door tbh even if they knew I was in. It takes nothing to just ask first and is just basic respect imo. Downtime is important, really important and I don’t like to feel this can be interrupted if someone just decides

Nitebook · 03/04/2023 11:36

MN is always so split between people who think dropping in is a perfectly normal friendly thing to so an people who think it's abhorrenty rude.

Personally, I'd only do it for close friends who I know are "go with the flow" but I'm always pleased to see anyone who calls here.

The kitchen is always fairly presentable, if the rest of the house is that bad they'll get their cuppa at the kitchen table or in the garden. But really no one cares that you've got laundry and washing up, it would be odd if you didn't. Life's much more enjoyable when you stop caring what others think too.

Whatthefnow · 03/04/2023 11:38

Years ago we moved into our new house and had friends coming over for dinner. I made a chocolate cake, left it to cool before I put the chocolate frosting on it but my ex husband thought he'd help by doing it. It wasn't cooled enough and the top kept sliding off, I was so annoyed. We then had an argument and started chucking bits of the cake at each other, the kitchen was in bits and we were absolutely covered in cake. My ex husband opened the door and had to send them away.

Usernameneeded1 · 03/04/2023 11:40

I think it’s lovely you have friends who thought to call with you, knew they would be welcomed, and were enthusiastically. The state of you or your house is not relevant and if they noticed at all I’m sure it was in a thank goodness it’s not only us way.

smizing · 03/04/2023 11:43

Another one agreeing it's very very rude. Don't come to my house without it being agreed first. I don't give a shit who you are.

ReadersD1gest · 03/04/2023 11:46

smizing · 03/04/2023 11:43

Another one agreeing it's very very rude. Don't come to my house without it being agreed first. I don't give a shit who you are.

From your tone, I don't think you need worry about a barrage of people wanting to visit 😂

Nitebook · 03/04/2023 11:49

I think it's sad so many consider it rude. Genuinely sad that that's what society has become. When did we become more bothered about how our homes look than the friends and family, the laughter and tears that are in them?

If someone calls on me unexpectedly, it's because they thought of me or needed me. Both lovely. If they're going to judge me over some laundry and leftovers, we probably wouldn't be friends anyway.

smizing · 03/04/2023 11:51

ReadersD1gest · 03/04/2023 11:46

From your tone, I don't think you need worry about a barrage of people wanting to visit 😂

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No I don't at all love. Because I set boundaries and I love my boundaries!

KimberleyClark · 03/04/2023 11:53

Keymap · 02/04/2023 04:28

I personally find unnanounced visitors rude

So do I. They could at least have phoned the day before and said “we’ll be in the area tomorrow, mind if we drop in”.