Mumsnet “norms” that annoy you most

[usernamechanged1]

For me it’s the utterly obscure baby names. We’ve all seen them and I’m quite sure nobody uses them in real life. Yet on MN, it’s apparently standard.

Honourable mention to the 50% of posters whose husbands are earning upwards of £100K too.

The benefits bashing.

Some subtle, some not so.

It's really depressing to be honest.

I don't get why nursery staff, nannies 'raise the child' yet schools teachers don't get labelled that

(No I don't have anything against these professions it the people that think others raise children I think are weird)

@WandaWonder

Because teachers have 30 kids and nannies don’t?

That all baby boomers are absolute bastards.

I was thinking the same thing!

The word vanishingly being used. I've never actually seen it used anywhere other than mumsnet.

The idea that Britain is absolutely the worst place on earth, the 'laughing stock' of the world, and that British, or at least English, people are loathed wherever they go.

That's usually because of 'misgendering'. Where the idea that someone decides they are of a different sex it is supposed to be accepted without question and anyone saying "why am I expected to see this person as a different sex and refer to them as such?" is seen as transphobic and bigoted.

The stress over potential destinations post-16 because the dc in question got "okay, but not stellar, GCSE results". These always turn out to be a range of 7s and 8s.

The one that pisses me off the most is people saying "if the sexes were reversed", "if the OP were a man", claiming that the advice would be different while then presenting a different scenario to the OP. It's happening on every single thread at the moment and it's beyond irritating.

I hate the "does he have ADHD?" "Is he autistic?" stuff which pops up on every single thread. The most likely scenario is the person concerned is being a complete and utter asshole and being an asshole has absolutely nothing to do with ADHD and autism.
Dementia is another one which is brought up to explain poor behaviour - there was a thread a while back, something to do with slippers in a basket near a front door and the 'D'H had ended up having a major argument with the OP, shouting at her about something to do with the slippers. The whole thread then descended into a massive argument about whether the 'D'H had dementia or not, instead of giving useful advice. The likelihood that a 35-year-old man ranting about slippers has dementia is extremely low.

Ah the wedding threads.

For millennia guests have given the bride and groom money or precious metals to help set them up for married life. In some cultures guests literally pin money on the bride during the reception.

In MN world if you dare suggest money as a wedding gift you are "grabby", "entitled" and no doubt deserving of the death penalty. "Here, have this artisan produced signed pottery replica of a Etruscan birthing stool I picked up in a local craft fair for a mere £900. Isn't that much more personal?"

Not answering the door.
Only on Mumsnet have I ever heard of folk not answering the door

If you are over the age of 8 it is very entitled and childish to want to mark or celebrate your birthday in any way at all. You should definitely not feel aggrieved if no one remembered or that 50 people said they would come to your party and only 12 turned up.

If you don’t want to invite the whole class to your child’s party. Heaven forbid that you ask your child who they would like to come to their own party.

That wouldn't matter if responses on MN weren't so extreme.

But it's very relevant when a lot of MN responses ARE so extreme.

I've been on and off MN for over a decade and the responses are markedly different for men than for women which matters when it's behaviour that is dismissed in women but said to be abusive in men.

I'm not an abuse apologist so won't dismiss it in women. And it is, often on MN. Nor will I suggest occasional normal but crappy behaviour is abuse just because a man did it and that happens a lot on MN too.

Your point has been one made on MN for years so it's not a recent thing that you've just noticed.

This one baffles me.

If you accept an invitation then you must attend the event no matter what.

colleague you’ve known three months invites you to their birthday, then after you’ve said yes a close friend invites you to their wedding - tough shit. You said yes and it’s rude to bail for a better offer.

Yet if you spend money Catering for the people who said yes to attending your birthday then you’re childish and pathetic.

Equally if you’re in a group of 6 friends and you’ve done a weekend away for 5 of their big birthdays then it’s “entitled” to be upset that none of them bother to make time to even have lunch for yours.

Anyone over 65 behaving like a wanker- could she/he have dementia?

Child abuse for kids not to have own rooms.

"I'm / my family is neurodiverse". In other words, I / we have to pathologise our actions.

I posted many years ago about my cousin’s ex-wife. The knots people tied themselves in to prove that she was the injured party - people who have never met anyone involved in the scenario - were ridiculous. Someone even I couldn’t possibly know that she’d cheated on him and how could I be so sure that my cousin hadn’t made the entire thing up? (The fact that she left him for this man and that her adultery was the core issue in their divorce case was apparently not proof enough.)

One person was upset that very few friends who had replied to say they would attend attended their birthday. They'd catered for x people and less than half turned up.
There were posters falling over themselves to say how they'd be delighted to have 10 friends turn up, or that "it showed who their real friends were" (which is true) but that's not really the point.
If you wanted a small intimate party you'd have chosen a different venue and not paid for food for 30 when only 10 people were coming. You might have chosen a more exclusive venue, or a different thing to do even.

“Change the locks [of his house]!”

It’s just so bizarre how many people deliberately go out of their way to pretend they’ve missed the point - because there’s no way so many posters are that dim.

It's always been like that.

People on MN are never able to be objective as they're giving their opinion about people they don't know. But they should also realise their opinions are really influenced by society and their views of society are influenced by forums like MN. Where the worst stories are told. And many aren't even true.

Yes, I've noticed this a few times recently.