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Mumsnet “norms” that annoy you most

1000 replies

usernamechanged1 · 31/03/2023 21:27

For me it’s the utterly obscure baby names. We’ve all seen them and I’m quite sure nobody uses them in real life. Yet on MN, it’s apparently standard.

Honourable mention to the 50% of posters whose husbands are earning upwards of £100K too.

OP posts:
Thighlengthboots · 01/04/2023 10:51

Weird bragging about never looking at their phones as if its some sort of achievement.

Eg. "My best friend hasnt replied to me in 6 months, its unusual for her- I'm really worried about her"

Response: "Not everyone looks at their phones you know! I only check my phone for messages once every leap year- just because I have a phone, doesnt mean I have to use it!!!"

Um... why bother having a phone then if you hate it so much and dont want to reply to anyone?!

Swirlingcurlish · 01/04/2023 10:51

When posters open a thread saying “I am the worst mother in the world” and it turns out they’ve forgotten to serve blueberries with their child’s yoghurt or something and everyone replies along the lines of “yes you are a terrible mother”.

And the alternate thread when a really stressed parent says “I’m the worst mother in the world because I lost my temper with my four year old son after he tortured our dog and tried to drown our toddler” and everyone replies along the lines of “yes you are a terrible mother”.

sleepwhenyouaredead · 01/04/2023 10:53

The 'our little family' Christmas ones.
Yes MIL will be fine on her own 3 weeks after FIL died, with a heat up M and S meal. You shouldn't even think of disrupting the children by making them get dressed and drive for 10 mins to see her or worse still pick her up to join you.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

TommyNever · 01/04/2023 10:54

The childish claims of "transphobia" from people who've never encountered feminism before, and who are suspicious about all this "women having rights" business.

AD1996 · 01/04/2023 10:55

That your child absolutely must be breast fed.

MargaretThursday · 01/04/2023 11:00

If a dog bites a child it's always the child's fault for annoying them/dog must be ill.

The obvious begging threads "I have disabled 5yo, newborn twins and only tuppence ha'penny to last until next Friday and have no nappies or formula." Followed by reasons why they can't access help from anywhere, even when someone local points them to one that is available now.
Actually those don't annoy me as much as the ones who write "Have PM-ed you".
Because they'll say it's to make the person aware that they've sent a PM, but realistically it's making sure everyone knows they are being so compassionate. And it's those responses that keep those posts coming back from people who are scamming.
"I'd rather lose £5 than someone go hungry" goes in with that too. Donate that £5 to your local foodbank then.

SerafinasGoose · 01/04/2023 11:01

Chinchinchoroo · 01/04/2023 09:42

Yep. It's an extremely skewed view of 'real life'.

There used to be this idea of MN being reflective of 'real life and real women'

But like any Internet forum it became something else. It's overrun by trolls and fakery. And a lot of people saying what they wouldn't ever say in RL because it's not true.

That isn't a criticism of MNHQ but just social media in general. It's not real life

That wasn't exactly the point I was making. Yours is, of course, right: the trolls and attention seekers run amok (just as some people behave really badly offline) but the www allows them a cloak of anonymity they wouldn't otherwise have. (In which case, there's a further argument for saying it's more reflective of social life, because all the filters supposedly making them behave as decent, civilized human beings have been removed). And that's without even getting started on the MRAs and fetishists who are swarming this site as I write.

My observation is more about the attitude which says: the collective membership of MN are all weirdos (except me, of course) who say things no one IRL would ever dream of saying.

Whereas, in fact, they are boring, normal, everyday folk like you and me, who just happen to come from different age demographics and different socio-economic backgrounds, and don't necessarily get hung up over people not answering their doors in their own homes or shouting down every moderate, reasonable concern over women's rights as 'transphobic'.

Okay so I'm not an MRA or a creative writer testing out my fantasy stories on unsuspecting strangers, but that aside, I'm always suspicious of the 'I'm soooo different from them' rhetoric. Interestingly enough, this is also a protestation that's usually false.

Robinni · 01/04/2023 11:03

All men are useless and terrible and awful, no matter what they do. Women are beyond criticism. And divorce is the go to solution for all relationship issues. Immediately.

I’m surprised any marriages remain.

Mothership4two · 01/04/2023 11:03

People who comment over pretty banal things that it gives them the ick.

When women posters have a thread about men who have acted inappropriately and get a barrage of comments basically telling them to get over themselves

THisbackwithavengeance · 01/04/2023 11:03

NotAnotherBathBomb · 31/03/2023 23:30

Calling basic things 'a treat'

'I save coffee pods to have once a week as a treat'. What a sad little life, Jane.

Calling anything above basic 'posh'. The only person I heard use this IRL was the cringiest person I knew, wanted everyone one to know when she'd paid £1 more for something.

Do you remember the beans on toast is a treat thread?

It was a few years back.

And people were having fits when some brave soul admitted that they routinely added grated cheese to the said beans.

It was hilarious.

Botw1 · 01/04/2023 11:03

Fat phobia

Royal family adoration.

Men with big important jobs meaning their oh just had to give up work

When who let men treat them like shit

Teachers working 60 hour weeks 52 weeks a year. But also teachers loving the holidays because they dont need childcare

Wanting a European style healthcare system. As long as we don't personally have to pay for it

Working mums (but never dads) putting their babies in nursery 50 hours a week causing untold psychological damage

Higher earners not understanding how they are so poor. They just don't know where there 10k a month wages go

80 % of mn or their kids having adhd or asd

Breadcrumbsonmylipstick · 01/04/2023 11:05

The made up word 'naice' or however you spell it. Hate it.

Indecisivebynature · 01/04/2023 11:07

That everyone has family and friends they can call on. Not the case for everyone!

That everyone can afford a childminder for a night out! An extra £50 is for some more than they were planning on spending on their night out!

That most people have a husband with a well paid job.

Robinni · 01/04/2023 11:07

THisbackwithavengeance · 01/04/2023 11:03

Do you remember the beans on toast is a treat thread?

It was a few years back.

And people were having fits when some brave soul admitted that they routinely added grated cheese to the said beans.

It was hilarious.

This reminds me of the poster who wrote that they and their family couldn’t possibly finish all the pate in a pack recently.

Baffling. And resulted in my family going to buy pate to assess the situation 😂😂

Botw1 · 01/04/2023 11:12

Recommending co sleeping as safe

Over cleaning of self and things

The over all culture of posters not being able to cope with being disagreed with

EdgeOfACoin · 01/04/2023 11:13

I'd heard about the infamous 'transphobia' of Mumsnet long before I'd familiarised myself with the issues.

I started looking into various sides of the debate and came to Mumsnet to see what was being said that was so horrendous. I found perfectly sensible women talking (sometimes very robustly) about women's rights and asking perfectly reasonable questions that nobody on the other side of the debate seemed capable of answering.

I've also seen some of these terribly 'transphobic' posts that were deleted by Mumsnet. These include things such as using the term 'trans-identified male' (as opposed to transwoman), calling a male-bodied person who has just smashed a woman's sporting record a 'man', and discussing the fact that some male-bodied people are turned on by dressing up in women's clothing. This last point is an established phenomenon known as autogynaephilia, and you will find male-bodied people out there who admit to it.

I find it disingenuous when posters pop up to claim that the deleted posts are proof that Mumsnet posters write vile tracts of transphobia that need censoring.

x2boys · 01/04/2023 11:14

THisbackwithavengeance · 01/04/2023 11:03

Do you remember the beans on toast is a treat thread?

It was a few years back.

And people were having fits when some brave soul admitted that they routinely added grated cheese to the said beans.

It was hilarious.

I don't remember it but I remember a simulator about ham sandwich ,being a treat for a school.lunch or something 😂
I bet there were loads of this is why we have an obesity crisis ,with the cheese being added to beans,on toast comment?

x2boys · 01/04/2023 11:16

Similar one*

Robinni · 01/04/2023 11:17

@Botw1 I’ve thought about this as well…

I reckon there are more Mums who are ND or have kids with ASD/ADHD on here because

a) Carers are at home and might have more opportunity to engage with MN, or may need to do so as limited opportunity for socialisation elsewhere due to increased responsibilities.
b) ND adults tend to prefer online communication to face to face and they, like the kids, love devices of all sorts and tapping away as a good stim.
c) Being a carer is bloody hard work, very isolating and people in this situation tend to have more exasperating situations crop up in their lives and need to reach out for more support.

Think a greater proportion of disabled, carers (of all) and retired on here by contrast to general population too.

But I get you it at times seems the entire ND community has descended.

WhatTheHeckyPeck · 01/04/2023 11:17

My annoyance is wrt step parenting (especially step mothers), and can be summed up thus:

OP - "DH has agreed to DSC stopping over at ours on a non-contact weekend. I have arranged to take our joint child on an activity that I have paid for. AIBU not to take DSC as well?"

MN " Of course you should take DSC, he is part of the family and you should treat the same as your own child" and other various comments along the same line.

Then this:

OP " My DSC has been totally disrespectful to me. AIBU to ban screen time for the rest of the day as I would if it was my own child"

MN "NO. It's not your place to discipline DSC, they are not your child"

Only in the world of MN are Step mothers supposed to treat the DSC as her own, whilst also not supposed to treat them as their own.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 01/04/2023 11:19

The use of 'cool wife' or 'cool mum' as an insult when met with a different opinion. It's just as sexist as 'Karen' and used to quiet women who think differently. Is there a male version? 'Disney dad' describes a slightly different scenario, and I've never heard of a 'cool husband'

Also, 'you must be a man' when a women likes sex acts that are 'frowned upon'.

ReneBumsWombats · 01/04/2023 11:21

Breadcrumbsonmylipstick · 01/04/2023 11:05

The made up word 'naice' or however you spell it. Hate it.

To be fair, that one's an in-joke.

Fraida · 01/04/2023 11:22

Unapologetic and quite frankly disgraceful hate speech around transgender issues. This has been picked up in a number of academic journals.

Botw1 · 01/04/2023 11:25

@Fraida

Ooooh scary

It's not like academia is never sexist eh?

HelloBunny · 01/04/2023 11:28

That you can LTB by simply changing the locks & getting your ducks in a row...

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